#para 007

Rachel:

Rachel was still riding some bizarre high from Atlantic City. Not only had they spent the better part of a weekend wrapped up in one another’s arms in stolen moments and the privacy of their hotel room, but she and Quinn had been on a handful of more romantic and less lust-filled dates. The first had been a delightful lunch across the bridge in New Jersey per Quinn’s recommendation of a delightful diner that Rachel had never heard of before. The food had been delicious and it was nice to get away from the city where the chances of one of their friends seeing them back together was far too high.

It wasn’t until the second date that Rachel dared entertain the idea of making things more official between the two of them. She had run into Quinn by sheer coincidence and after the blonde checked her phone and calendar for a moment or two to ensure that there was nothing left on her itinerary that couldn’t wait until tomorrow, they headed back to Rachel’s apartment to spend some much needed time getting reacquainted with one another in a far more intimate way than they’d been able to during their lunch outing. And even though Quinn had to rush home to make a conference call in time, the hour or so of texting Quinn before bed more than made up for it.

Rachel’s phone had been buzzing regularly with messages and phone calls from Quinn. Both of them were doing their best to get any and all work done before the wedding that Saturday and hadn’t been able to make any more time for a midday lunch or rendezvous.

Kurt had started to give her questioning looks each time her phone buzzed against the arm rest of the couch and an even more perplexed raised brow when a vibrant smile would flash across the brunette’s lips as she furiously typed back a reply to the mystery suitor. He had his suspicions - it wasn’t like he was clueless. The rebuilding of a friendship with Quinn coupled with an overly happy Rachel only added up to something terrible. But each and every time he attempted to bring up just how toxic she was for his best friend he was shut down with a quick and almost rehearsed exclamation about how the two of them were just friends and it was healthy to reconcile previously negative relationships. He’d just roll his eyes and go back to whatever he was doing at the time, muttering some sort of agreement to his roommate to keep her from storming out and slamming a door behind her.

“I just don’t understand why you care who I’m texting,” she muttered, locking her phone and glancing across the room at her best friend.

He let out a huff and pressed his fingers against his temple, “I care because I know you’re making a mistake by letting her into your life again.”

“I’m not texting Qui-”

“But if you were, you know how bad things were before. She broke your heart and you were far better off without her in your life. You were a mess after the two of you broke up and if you think I’m going to watch that happen again you’re mista-”

“I’m not texting Quinn,” Rachel said with finality before standing up and walking towards her bedroom door, “and even if I were I am an adult capable of making my own decisions. Besides, she makes a good friend. We’ve all grown up since then, Kurt.”

Rachel spent the rest of the evening curled up in her comforter, texting the blonde about the buzzing excitement for the wedding until Quinn insisted that they both get some rest.

Saturday morning finally rolled around and Rachel’s alarm buzzed on her bedside table. The sun shown through a sliver of her curtain and the brunette rolled away from the source, grabbing her phone from the nightstand on her way. With a swipe of the screen, she opened up the three unread texts as she ran her free hand over her sleepy eyes.

Santana: You better wake up soon bitch.

Kurt: Do you want any coffee from downstairs?

       You don’t get any if you don’t reply to this.

       I got your usual. You owe me.

Brittany: Today’s the big day!!!

She ignored the messages, sitting up in bed and opening the long thread shared with Quinn and shot her usual ‘good morning sunshine’ text before beginning her morning routine.

Within the hour she was out the door, coffee in one hand and phone in the other. It wasn’t another thirty minutes before she was across town at the venue to help Brittany prepare for her big day. She and Quinn had shared a handful of texts before Santana had insisted that Quinn’s personal life could wait until after the wedding was over and Rachel finally put her phone in her purse, shooting a final text before focusing all of her attention on the bride to be.

Don’t forget to save me a dance, babe. You owe me one.

Quinn:

The first date with Rachel since they’d come back from Atlantic City had been great. Quinn made it a point to choose a diner across the bridge in New Jersey where she knew there was no way they’d run into someone she knew. The last thing she. We’re was to run into a friend while she was on a date with her ex. Especially if that friend was Santana.

The second time they ran into each other, Quinn almost had a heart attack. She was supposed to meet Gabby and their friend for drinks after work. She was almost there when she practically ran the small brunette over with her wide strides. A smile instantly lit up her face when she saw Rachel standing in front of her, hair slightly wind blown and cheeks a rosy red. Then Rachel asked to hang out and it was fate, wasn’t it? And Quinn wasn’t one to turn down fate. So she texted Gabby that she had to go back to work under the guise of making sure she wasn’t busy. Then they went back to Rachel’s apartment and it was quite the reunion.

Quinn had been able to (almost) completely forget that she was doing a horrible thing. But couldn’t forget enough not to rush home before Gabby got there so she could shower and erase all the evidence of Rachel off of her. She told Rachel she had a conference call she needed to be home for and Quinn wondered to herself if she’d ever been on a conference call in her life.

She used to hide under her father’s desk when she was young and listen in on her fathers conference calls with his colleagues. That’s where she learned a lot of her first curse words.

Gabby came home that night none the wiser and Quinn cuddled up to her as they watched their weekly show on television. She texted Rachel the rest of the night about how she wished they were together. They texted day and night, whenever Quinn had the chance. When she was at home with Gabby she could blame it on Santana freaking out about the wedding.

The day before the wedding, Gabby had to go out of town for a job she couldn’t miss out on. She had been trying to make the leap from red carpet and fashion photography to a serious news photographer. She had gotten a tip about a job in Connecticut and had to go. It was a relief to Quinn, really, who had been having small panic attacks trying to figure out how to handle both her girlfriend and had ex in the same place. More specifically the ex she’d been seeing intimately.

It would have been easy to play it off as nothing if they’d kept their relations to Atlantic City. But with things having continued once they came back, it became a lot more complicated. Every time she’d called Rachel she called with the intention of telling her everything. She was going to tell her about Gabby and apologize profusely for everything that had happened. For leading her on.

But then she heard Rachel’s voice and the Gallo was in it and she couldn’t. Quinn couldn’t. Real her heart again. It felt like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. A place she had gotten herself stuck by listening to her crazy impulsive emotions instead of her mind.

So when she found out that Gabby couldn’t go to the wedding, her first reaction was relief. E could avoid admitting everything Rachel at least for the time being. Although the guilt still nipped and chewed at her belly each time she saw her or said something f flirty.

Quinn tried to forget it as she walked into the venue for her wedding. She had stopped at a coffee shop before arriving per Santana’s request to get coffee for everyone. She found the room for Santana and her brides maids. Everyone thanked her profusely and took their drinks while Quinn went for the buzzing phone in her pocket. She read the text from Rachel and smiled.

“Put your phone away,” Santana said throwing a tissue at Quinn’s head, “And tell Gabby in still mad at her for ditching.”

“She’s really sorry,” Quinn insisted as she slipped her phone back in her pocket, “She couldn’t miss this-”

“Ugh gross, shut your trap I get it. She’s off being awesome and everything,” Santana said with an eye roll.

The gnawing at Quinn’s stomach got worse as she thought about Gabby and how she was shoppers to be here. How much longer could she bother carrying on this whole charade with Rachel? She had to tell her. It was painful to think of hurting her. If it was only going to get worse the longer she waited. She had to tell her. It had to be tonight.

Rachel:

“You look beautiful,” Rachel said as Brittany spun around in her dress in front of the long mirror that hung on the far wall of their designated dressing room. The tall blonde was glowing, a vision in white and Rachel, along with the other bridesmaids, couldn’t stop showering her with compliments as they all got ready for the big day.

Rachel remembered when the Brittany and Santana had first gotten together, a reluctant couple as the two of them flirted their way in and out of make ups and break ups during the early years of college. They had been in the tentative stages of their relationship when Rachel and Quinn had first started dating and it had looked like both couples were following the same path to happiness for the longest time. The brunette pursed her lips together, willing to put all thoughts of the past behind her. She briefly wondered if she and Quinn would be nearing their own wedding day if they had made things work between them. Would Rachel be the one in white, twirling around in an elegant dress? Or were they always meant to break apart only to come back together once more after they’d gotten a little more life experience under their belt?

“I can’t believe it’s actually happening,” Brittany sighed, smoothing out the sides of her dress almost nervously, slipping into her heels as all of the women began to make the final touches on their hair and outfit, just moments away from the moment when they’d be ready to lead the processional down the aisle.

They grabbed their bouquets and Rachel took her place nearest Brittany to walk with the blonde towards the venue where they would meet up with the blonde’s father to walk her down the aisle. “Santana’s going to lose her mind when she sees you,” the brunette added before taking her place next to one of the bridesmaids. Rachel could see a glimpse of Santana at the end of the aisle, Quinn standing by her side as the bride shifted nervously from one foot to the other almost as if she was worried Brittany wouldn’t show up.

“I just love weddings,” the bridesmaid on Rachel’s left murmured mostly to herself, a giddy giggle falling from her lips as they began their walk down the aisle to take their places at the front of the hall.

Brown eyes met hazel from across the room and Rachel did her best to subdue the wide smile that tugged at the corners of her lips. It was such a romantic setting, the music filling the air around them, flowers donning each row of seats and Quinn was an absolute vision standing at the front of the room. For a moment, just a moment, Rachel let herself picture a possible future where this was their life. She would be done with school, a professor at the university, and the two of them would go away on some long honeymoon to celebrate the fact that they defied all odds to be together, to make things work. Santana, Brittany, and Kurt would all be in attendance and everyone would spend the evening talking about how they had been wrong all along: Quinn and Rachel were destined for some epic love story.

Tonight. Rachel wanted to take the first step tonight. She’d sneak Quinn away during the hustle and bustle of the reception and ask her on an official date. A date that they would call a date and one they wouldn’t hide from their friends. Their biggest excuse to keep Santana and Brittany out of the loop was fear of disturbing their pre-wedding events. But now, with the wedding day finally in their grasp, they could get away with it. 

They could work on rebuilding their relationship officially and there was no more romantic way Rachel could think of than to bring it up but in amidst a celebration of love.

The ceremony was beautiful and Rachel found herself in tears through almost the entire thing, she was a goner when they recited their vows and she had to duck her head away from the crowd to dab her eyes with a tissue she’d kept hidden in her bouquet.

Friends and family rose to their feet as the brides walked hand in hand towards the exit, Rachel, Quinn, and the rest of the bridesmaids following suit with bright smiles.

“You look stunning,” Rachel murmured to Quinn as she slipped past the blonde on her way to help Brittany fix her hair in time for group pictures with the wedding photographer, her hand brushing against the blonde’s back ever-so-subtly as she did. They’d talk more at the reception, once Brittany and Santana were a few drinks in. The last thing she wanted to do was to draw any attention away from the two brides on their special day.

Quinn:

Quinn tried to ignore the sick feeling in her stomach as she got ready for the wedding. She fixed her hair, helped Santana into her dress and listened to all of her insane worries about the wedding. She even stopped her from running out of the room to yell at the caterers for something she was sure they’d done wrong. So far the wedding was going off without a hitch. Now just the actual wedding had to happen.

It wasn’t until they were walking down the aisle, Quinn walking dutifully behind Santana to the front of the room, that she had a moment to breath. And to reaffirm to herself that she was going to tell Rachel everything. It was too stressful, too much to handle. It was the moment she ran into Rachel on the street that was the tipping point. If she could run into her alone, what were the chances she could run into her while she was with Gabby? Too high. She was sure this would be the final nail in the coffin to salvage any kind of relationship with Rachel, friendship or otherwise, but it had to happen.

She was convinced it was time to tell her everything. Until she saw Rachel walking down the aisle behind Brittany. Quinn was very aware that her eyes should be on the blonde who looked absolutely beautiful in her wedding dress, but instead her eyes were on Rachel. She was so stunning and the subtle hint of a smile on her lips made Quinn’s heart flutter.

Maybe she didn’t have to tell her about the whole situation. Maybe they could still be friends and she could eventually taper off on the more…romantic and sexual parts of their newfound friendship. They could just be friends again and still hang out…the concept of not having Rachel in her life again seemed like torture at this point. She couldn’t imagine not speaking to her again. Rachel walking back into her life and seeming so forgiving of their past problems seemed just short of a miracle.

Atlantic City had been great. Amazing even. Quinn had a weekend to pretend nothing but them existed and it was…it was great. But there was Gabby and their life together and-

But maybe she could just not tell Rachel for a little longer. It was a wedding after all. Not a time to break hearts. A time for celebration and love.

The ceremony finished and Quinn smiled brightly, her palms sweaty on the bouquet she was holding. She made sure to step in stride next to Rachel as they walked back down the aisle behind the newly weds. Rachel’s hand brushing ever so softly against her back sent chills up her spine and her words even more so. There was no time for a response, just a small smile and a raised eyebrow in the brunette’s direction. As soon as they got back in the changing rooms for a quick touch up before the photos, Quinn sent Rachel a quick text.

Don’t forget about our dance later, beautiful.

Once everyone was a few drinks in, they wouldn’t think of the two of them dancing together. It was a wedding everyone danced together. It wasn’t a big deal. No one would even bat an eyelash at it.

It was a struggle not to look over at Rachel every two seconds during the wedding photos, but Santana made it a lot easier with her barking orders at them and the photographer to get the perfect shot. As soon as the pictures were done and people started to disperse, Quinn gravitated towards Rachel like a moth to a flame. She couldn’t help it. Her smile only widened the closer she got to the other woman.

“Hey,” Quinn said softly, “you look amazing. Wanna get a drink? Avoid Santana as long as possible.”

Rachel:

Santana was far more of a bridezilla than Rachel could have ever pictured. She was snapping at all of the bridesmaids left and right in search for the perfect picture for each pose the photographer was trying to capture. Brittany, on the other hand, was just enjoying the moment, smiling brightly and pulling Santana in for yet another kiss in between pictures.

It was over in the blink of an eye, much to Rachel’s relief and they all started drifting towards the reception where the rest of their friends and family would be waiting for the two brides to make their grand entrance for their first dance as a married couple. Rachel slipped her phone from the hidden pocket in her dress and opened the text from Quinn. She was a few moments away from typing out a quick reply when a familiar voice fluttered into her ear.

The brunette turned on her heel and smiled at the blonde. It was the moment she had been looking forward to all week, when she could finally spend some time with Quinn in such a beautiful setting. Any time with Quinn was time well spent. Rachel’s cheeks tinted a light pink and she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. She let out a sigh of laughter at the last words from her mouth and she nodded, glancing over her shoulder at the sidewalk that lead to the venue.

“Thank you,” Rachel said with a smile, reaching forward and brushing her hand against Quinn’s arm, dropping her hand back to her side on the off chance one of their friends would come back out at any moment. “I would love to get a drink,” she agreed, biting down on her bottom lip with a grin, “avoiding Santana is just a bonus at this point.”

The two moseyed down the path, following suit with the rest of the bridesmaids, their pace leisurely compared to normal. Rachel’s heart was racing in her chest - today was the day she was going to ask Quinn if they could make it more official. There was no doubt in her mind. Everything just felt so right. More so than it had the first time around and Rachel knew that had to be some sort of sign that they were doing something right this time. Maybe taking things slow was exactly what they should have done the first time.

“You know,” Rachel mused as they stepped inside the empty entrance hall of the venue, “its kind of like you’re my unofficial date. I was going to bring Kurt as my plus one but frankly I knew he’d dress far better than me and I couldn’t handle that.”

Rachel made a beeline for the bar, knowing that they had a few more minutes before Brittany and Santana made their official debut and she wanted to get started on a decent buzz prior to any dancing.

Quinn:

They walked down the path into the venue and Quinn could feel excitement practically radiating off of Rachel next to her. She still knew her well enough to know that. Just as she was about to ask Rachel what had he so excited the brunette spoke and it became very clear.

Unofficial date.

It made Quinn smile just as much as it made her cringe just in the slightest. Gabby was her official date. But she supposed since Gabby wasn’t here…she could have an unofficial date. It’s not a real date after all if it’s unofficial…and Santana would be too distracted to notice the two of them spending a little too much time together at the party.

“Kurt dresses better then all of us,” Quinn said taking a step next to Rachel in the drink line as she did her best to avoid acknowledging the ‘unofficial date’ comment, “And I’m just lucky he didn’t come so I get to spend more time with you. Especially since I’m sure he’d be glaring at me every time I even looked at you.”

Kurt had always seemed slightly suspicious of Quinn. She had always just taken it in stride, shrugging off any looks he gave her. She was sure that he had all kinds of “I told you so” moments after they broke up.

Quinn was going to get a simple champagne but changed her mind at the last second and got a whiskey and coke. She figured she was going to need a little more then just champagne to finish this night with some sanity. Walking over to the seating chart, she found out to her delight that Rachel and her were at the same table. That was, until she remembered that Gabby was supposed to be here too and sitting right next to her. That would have been a disaster. She made a mental note to talk to Santana about that later.

They walked over to their seats and Quinn subtly took Gabby’s name card off the table and slipped it into her purse before turning back to Rachel. She help up her glass to the other woman and smiled softly. “To being here. With you. Together,” she said with a gentle smile. She clinked their glasses together and darted her eyes around the room to make sure no one was watching before squeezing Rachel’s knee. “I’m glad we’re here.”

Rachel:

Rachel rolled her eyes at Quinn’s comment about Kurt. She was right. He still was suspicious about everything that was going on between Rachel and Quinn and their resurgence of friendship and deep down she knew he had every right to be concerned. She had been a mess after their last breakup and Kurt had struggled to pick up the pieces, helping her move out of her apartment and into his. He had been the glue that held her life together and she knew it had taken a toll on him. But she was an adult and things were different this time. There wasn’t going to be some jealous rage that ended a three year relationship, it was going to be different.

“We were probably spared from a very awkward evening,” she chuckled, taking another step closer to the bar as the line moved forward, “Santana is already almost too much to handle.”

It was finally their turn for the bar and Quinn ordered a whiskey and coke, Rachel adding on a vodka soda with a smile and the pair grabbed their glasses and began their stroll through the tables to find their spot. They were closer to where Brittany and Santana would be sitting at the main table, but far enough to where the happy couple wouldn’t think much about any amount of conversation between the two of them.

She took her seat, taking another sip of her drink before turning slightly to face the blonde next to her. Another two of the bridesmaids were planned to sit at the table with them and Rachel glanced around to see if they were close by. She spotted Sarah off near the far bar and Melanie standing off speaking to Brittany’s mother. It would buy them a few moments of privacy before they would have to officially divide their attention between others.

An empty seat without a place card was on the other side of Quinn, but Rachel thought little of it. It would be one less person to have to listen to and maybe it would increase their chances of getting to speak about the notion of making things official that had been consuming Rachel’s thoughts for the better part of a week.

“To being together,” she echoed as they toasted to the evening, glasses tapping together before they both took a slow sip of their beverages. Quinn’s hand on her knee sent electricity through her entire body and she sighed happily, resting her hand atop the blonde’s to give her a quick squeeze.

“You know,” Rachel started, giving the back of Quinn’s hand another squeeze, their eyes meeting, “I’ve been thinking tha-”

But she was cut off by the dj announcing Santana and Brittany’s entrance for their first dance together. Rachel knew better than to think that she and Quinn should join in with the other couples after the first half of the song passed, so instead she remained comfortably in her seat, sipping on her drink casually as she smiled across the room and watched her friends. Santana appeared happier than she’d ever seen her and it made Rachel absolutely giddy.

The song wound to a close and soon it was time for their dinner. The other two bridesmaids came and settled down and the four of them fell into comfortable conversation throughout the meal, laughing about their experiences with both brides prior to the actual ceremony, eventually shifting to stories of their personal lives.

The party was in full swing when Sarah and Melanie decided it was time to dance and the brunette raised an eyebrow at the blonde next to her. “So about that dance you owe me…” she started with a smirk, giving the blonde a light nudge with her elbow.

Quinn:

The almost completely question out of Rachel’s lips made Quinn freeze in her seat, drink frozen at her lips as she took a large gulp. She could tell Rachel had something to say that she thought was important. It was something that she’d picked up from her in their years together. The last thing Quinn wanted to do was talk about “important” things right now. Or ever really with Rachel. But especially at the wedding.

Thankfully the DJ announced Santana and Brittany’s first dance, successfully distracting Rachel from whatever it was she wanted to ask. Then dinner came and a couple of the other bridesmaids who Quinn, admittedly, couldn’t quite remember their names. She didn’t know as many of the girls on Brittany’s wedding party, only in passing despite the amount of time they’d all spent together recently.

The conversation was pleasant none the less, everyone making small talk. It wasn’t until the dan ing started that Quinn started to get a little nervous. Rachel was asking her about that dance and she wondered if anyone would notice. But Santana and Brittany were in their own world and…no one else would care. The only person she could think that would even comment on Gabby’s absence would be Santana’s mom and she was having a grand old time by herself. She adored Gabby after she found out she could speak Spanish pretty well. Santana hated it and would always tell Gabby to get her own mom.

Quinn smiled and moved gently with Rachel’s elbow nudging her side. Goddamn this woman was cute. She could never resist those eyes or that smile. They were her biggest weakness.

“Sure, Berry,” Quinn said getting up from her seat and offering her hand to the brunette, “Let’s dance. You can see how much worse I’ve got at dancing since college.”

She led the brunette over to the dance floor and they began their dance. Quinn tried to keep a respectful difference, hips far enough away not to be scandalous. At least, as least scandalous as a situation can be when you’re dancing with your ex at your best friend’s wedding.

Even then, just the feeling of holding Rachel in her arms like that and looking down into brown eyes…Quinn felt all the feelings rush back. Like no time had passed. They were back in college, carefree and in love and everything was beautiful. In that moment there was no Gabby and no Santana breathing down her neck trying to figure out her motivations for everything. It was just her and Rachel and it was great.

Rachel:

It was hard to keep from lighting up like a giddy school girl when Quinn agreed to dance. The blonde had never been one for going out and dancing like Rachel always loved, but there had been a handful of times in their earlier relationship when Rachel would play her cards right and talk Quinn into a night on the dance floor.

“Then maybe its time we get you some practice,” she said with a smirk as she took Quinn’s hand and followed her lead to the dance floor.

At first they kept their distance, barely within one another’s bubble as they found a comfortable little pocket among the sea of strangers. Santana and Brittany were all the way on the opposite side of the floor, whispering in one another’s ear as they swayed to the music. Rachel tore her attention away from the world around them and met Quinn’s eyes once more.

She could feel that irrational and euphoric adrenaline rush that was all too family with what it felt like to be falling for Quinn Fabray and she knew she should be more weary, far more careful and closed off, but she didn’t want to be. She wanted to let herself enjoy the way it felt to fall for Quinn again. The first time around she’d been too scared, entering her first real relationship in college and her first significant relationship with another woman, to really enjoy the butterflies and the adoring glances.

Somehow, between the first chorus and the second verse of the song, they’d drifted closer together, situating themselves comfortably in one another’s arms. There was just enough distance in between them to keep their dancing innocent - the last thing they needed was for Santana to give them hell about making her wedding day all about them and their relationship.

Rachel worried her bottom lip between her teeth, not daring to break the intense gaze that she and Quinn shared for fear of ruining their little stolen moment alone together.

“You know, you’re not that bad of a dancer. Far better than you were in college,” she mused, letting her hands wander a few inches along Quinn’s upper arm, “I was worried you’d have to stand on my feet.”

Quinn:

It only took a few moments of dancing with Rachel for Quinn to completely forget that there were other people around. It was just them and staring into Rachel’s eyes certainly felt like it. They had drifted a little closer together through their dancing but still managed to make it seem fairly innocent. There was nothing about what they were doing that felt…inappropriate. Necessarily. Just maybe a little more friendly then they were previously.

Quinn tipped her head back in laughter at Rachel’s comment about her dancing, briefly distracted from Rachel’s hand inching further up her arm. “Hey, no one’s ever complained about my dancing before,” Quinn said with a quirked eyebrow and a smile, “The ladies hardly seem to notice my terrible footwork.”

She squeezed Rachel affectionately and chanced a look around. No one even seemed to notice that they were together. Which is what Quinn preferred. But another quick look around and she made eye contact with Santana’s mother who waved and began to walk their direction. She cursed under her breath and looked for an escape route. Instead she just steeled herself and hoped that she didn’t mention Gabby at all.

“Quinn! Nina bonita,” Mrs. Lopez said hugging her tightly, “Always the angel putting up with my Sanny. How are you?”

“I’m good Mrs. Lopez,” Quinn said reluctantly letting go of Rachel to hug the other woman, “Congratulations on finally being rid of your daughter.”

Mrs. Lopez laughed, “Thank god for Brittany, that’s all I have to say.” The older woman looked around for a moment and Quinn knew what would be coming next. “Where’s G-” “Do you want a drink?” Quinn said putting her arm around the woman’s shoulders and leading her to the bar, “Let’s go get a drink.”

She turned back towards Rachel and mouthed ‘sorry’ towards her as she walked Mrs. Lopez over to the bar. Where she was free to talk all about Gabby and why she couldn’t be at the wedding.

“She’s a good girl,” Mrs. Lopez said as the bar tender handed her a glass of champagne, “You hold onto that.”

“I will, Mrs. Lopez,” Quinn said almost shyly, looking down at her feet. She felt the guilt gnawing at her chest but tried to ignore it. Santana’s mom went back to her seat, promising to find Quinn later and the blonde went back to her table to sit. She quickly finished off her drink and checked her phone for any messages from Gabby. So far nothing. She figured she was busy.

Rachel:

Rachel hated to think of Quinn with any other women apart from herself but she knew the whole thing was irrational. The last she had heard about any other women was that Quinn was casually seeing someone and even that was what felt like forever ago. She hadn’t dared to bring it up for fear that she’d hear something she didn’t want to know. But then again, she and Quinn had been going on regular dates and had slept together on more than one occasion…there was no way that Quinn would keep stringing another girl along.

She let out a quiet giggle, pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind - they could talk about all the nitty gritty stuff sometime after the wedding. “Well clearly you haven’t been dancing with that many qualified women,” she teased in response, flashing a bright grin at the blonde.

Quinn’s eyes tore away from Rachel’s and the brunette took a moment to just appreciate the woman in front of her. Quinn was, and had always been, the most beautiful woman she’d ever laid eyes. She could see a future with Quinn, a real future and that woke the butterflies in her stomach once more - they didn’t seem to rest whenever Quinn was within arms reach.

She opened her mouth, wanting to try and get back to the thought she’d been wanting to propose to Quinn all evening when Santana’s mother swept in between them and the blonde slipped away from Rachel to great the older woman. She had only met Santana’s mother once at the rehearsal dinner, but she knew that Quinn had a long history with the Lopez family.

She was the complete opposite of Santana, bubbly and friendly with a vibrant smile and kind eyes and Rachel knew that Quinn was getting pulled right into Mrs. Lopez’s trap. When the blonde turned around to give Rachel an apology as she lead the woman off, Rachel just mouthed an ‘it’s okay’ back before wandering through the throngs of people scattered about the dance floor.

With a quick pit stop at the bar to grab another drink, she glanced around at the decor, taking in the room around her. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy, still high off of the feeling of being around Quinn again as if it were their first date all over again. Rachel took another slow sip of her drink through the straw, wracking her brain for the perfect phrasing to bring up their relationship with Quinn.

“Quinn, I was thinking maybe you and I should make things more official”

No, that sounded far too formal.

“I want us to be together again.”

Too vulnerable.

Rachel pushed off of the far wall she’d been leaning comfortably against with a huff after a lap around the room. Maybe she could just steal Quinn away and let her feelings do the talking. No well rehearsed speech, no musical number. Just honest feelings. That seemed doable. There was not a moment to lose.

She made a beeline for the table, downing the rest of her drink in time to set the empty glass at her spot and she extended her hand for the blonde. “Do you want to go for a stroll? Maybe a short walk outside?” She nodded back over her shoulder at the dance floor, “I don’t think Brittany and Santana would notice if we stepped out for a few minutes.”

Quinn:

Rachel came out of nowhere and was asking Quinn if she wanted to go for a walk. The blonde blinked up at her for a second, mostly in surprise as to where she had come from, and then nodded.

“I would love to go on a walk with you, Berry,” Quinn said with a smile, taking Rachel’s extended hand and standing up. She was feeling slightly tipsy from downing her drink so quickly but walking it off could do her a bit of good. Plus spending some more alone time with Rachel sounded ideal at the moment. It was too hard making sure no one was spending too much time staring at the two of them while they interacted. She didn’t need anyone suspicious of her.

Squeezing Rachel’s hand lightly, they walked out into the evening air. It was crisp and hit Quinn full force in the face. She look a deep breath and looked up at the sky for a moment as they walked.

“It’s a beautiful night,” Quinn said lacing her fingers with Rachel’s as she looked over at her, “You look so beautiful.” She spotted a tall hedge and pulled Rachel behind it with a small giggle, out of the prying eyes of any would be eavesdroppers. She kissed Rachel briefly, softly, before pulling away with a bright smile.

She wondered what would have happened if they had never broken up. Would they still be together now? Enjoying Santana and Brittany’s wedding as actual dates? Maybe they’d even be married now. It was something they had talked about when they were together, getting married after graduation. But they had never even made it to graduation to see if that could be a possibility.

Quinn didn’t necessarily regret breaking up with Rachel. They had been fighting for a long time and it was one of those inevitable things, looking back. Plus regretting breaking up would be like saying she regretted being with Gabby, which she definitely didn’t. It was more a curiosity. Something she could ponder on and wonder what it would be like if things had been different.

For a moment, Quinn just looked at Rachel and swung their hand between them. She needed to stop thinking about everything else and just focus on Rachel. While she was here in front of her. Who knew how long until she wouldn’t be anymore. Quinn pulled Rachel into her arms and nuzzled her face into her neck, breathing her in with a smile.

Rachel:

The pair made their way out of the reception and out into the cool New York air and Rachel let out a sigh of happiness. She loved the city and the way it felt in the later months, the almost cold breeze, the way the sunset against the tall buildings. She couldn’t imagine living anywhere else and to be walking the city with Quinn…that topped the list of her favorite moments.

Their fingers laced together and Rachel rested her other hand on the crook of Quinn’s arm, strolling alongside the blonde at a leisurely pace, simply enjoying their stolen moment truly alone. There was no Santana breathing down their necks, no Mrs. Lopez to still Quinn away, and no bridesmaid acquaintances to fill their moments with unnecessary small talk. It was just what she needed in the moment.

A blush tinted her cheeks at Quinn’s compliment, but she couldn’t mull it over too much before the blonde was tugging her into the shadows of tall shrubbery and connecting their lips for the first kiss since the moment alone at Rachel’s. She smiled against the blonde’s lips, taking a half step forward into Quinn’s space to bring their bodies gently together. It was a brief kiss, but it filled Rachel’s heart with joy and she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her lips if she tried.

“You’re right,” she said with a giggle, “it is a beautiful night.” The brunette gave Quinn’s hands a squeeze, smiling up at the woman in front of her. She could imagine them having moments like this on campus or at Quinn’s study or anywhere in between. They could work out their schedule to see one another more for lunches and dinners. Maybe Rachel could stay over at Quinn’s…she still didn’t know where Quinn was living let alone seen inside. She imagined it was something akin to the way their old apartment used to look, slightly messy with scattered photographs around the living room. Quinn insisted it was too far…maybe somewhere uptown. Rachel didn’t care too much about the semantics.

The look in Quinn’s eyes sent goose bumps down Rachel’s arms and when the blonde pulled her in closer, she let her eyes fall shut and her arms wrapped around Quinn’s waist to hold her close. This was perfect. Everything was so perfect. “I miss this,” she murmured against Quinn’s shoulder, pressing her lips against her shoulder for a gentle kiss.

“Actually,” she said with a nervous chuckle, “I kind of wanted to talk to you about that. I had tried to say it earlier but obviously we were interrupted…”

Her voice trailed off for a moment and she opened her eyes, looking up at the hedge in front of her, keeping her focus on a leaf that swayed with every breeze. The nerves were kicking in and the thoughts were swirling through her mind faster than they had been when she’d been walking alone through the reception.

“Anyway,” she started again, a smile on her lips, “I miss this. I miss us. The past few weeks…everything has just been so perfect….” Her voice trailed off for a moment and she pressed another kiss to the blonde’s skin, “I know we haven’t really talked about it, I sort of figured it would be best to wait to even think about it until after the wedding so Santana doesn’t just absolutely flip but I was thinking maybe you and I could be more official.”

She paused for barely a moment to take in a sharp breath before continuing, words flowing faster from her lips. “I understand if you want to take things slow…I mean you and I aren’t very good at that but we’ve done this before. We know each other and I know we both made so many mistakes before but I really feel so different this time. I just…I would love for us to try to make us work again because - and I know this probably sounds crazy but - I’m falling for you again.”

The lovesick smile was still on her lips and she rested her chin on the blonde’s shoulders, lacing her fingers behind Quinn’s back as she held the blonde close, her heart racing in her chest as she let the words hang in the silence around them for a few moments.

Quinn:

Quinn’s body involuntarily stiffened when Rachel started talking about missing ‘them’. As in them together, being a couple. She knew what was coming next, she could sense it. And part of her wanted to run but she was frozen in place just waiting for the inevitable and-

maybe you and I could be more official

A slight panic began in Quinn’s chest but she quelled it down and tried to think rationally. She could always just…keep lying and tell her that they couldn’t be together officially. Not yet anyways. But maybe someday…that would be the easy solution. At least easier then telling Rachel that she was actually in a committed relationship. To see the heartbreak on Rachel’s face might just kill her. Just seeing the lovesick smile Rachel had looking up at her was enough to break her heart.

Then again, she could say that they could be more official…and just keep things going the way they were. But if she did that Rachel would want to tell people, go out as a couple with Santana and Brittany…that certainly couldn’t happen. Quinn had already dodged Rachel trying to come over to her place so many times. She always gave her the excuse that it was far away and not worth the travel but it was only so long before Rachel got suspicious as to why she never told her where she lived. Quinn couldn’t risk Rachel showing up one day out of the blue in some attempt at romance.

“Rachel,” Quinn began softly, her voice trailing off. She wasn’t sure where she was going to go after that but she couldn’t not say anything. Every second of silence between them hung like a knife waiting to stab her right through the chest. “I would love nothing more.”

Quinn licked her lips and looked away for a moment, her head hurt from the stress and the thinking and- “But I…we can’t.”

She let out a deep breath and pulled Rachel just a little closer, like their bodies being pressed together would help what she was about to say. “I’m…remember that other girl I told you about? That I was seeing? Well…we’re a little more then casual.”

Quinn grimaced at her own choice of words and let out a shaky sigh, “I mean, a lot more. We’re…actually together. We have been for a few years now.” She kept her eyes shut for a moment, not wanting to look at Rachel and see the expression on her face. This was hard enough as it was. “I’m so sorry I should have told you I just…never expected things to get this far and I missed you. I didn’t want to ruin any chance of getting to know you again by telling you I was in a relationship.”

In her mind she went back and forth on whether to tell her who was her girlfriend. It would only make things worse…but could things even really get any worse then they were now? Probably not. Still she didn’t want to risk Rachel hating her all together-

“It’s Gabby,” she blurted out, eyes still shut, “From college. It’s Gabby. We live together now.”

Rachel:

Rachel’s heart thumped against her chest so vigorously that she was certain Quinn could feel it. The anticipation was killing her, the silence almost deafening as they stood pressed together against the shrubbery. She bit down on her lip, swallowing back the nerves that were continuing to build inside of her. Things felt right for a reason, Quinn was probably just caught off guard.

I would love nothing more.

Rachel’s breath hitched in her throat and she let her entire body relax. They could be together again - like before. No, not like before. Better than before. She could walk down the street holding Quinn’s hand and they could finally prove Kurt and their other friends wrong about not being good for one another. But as quickly as the rush of relief had washed over her, her world came tumbling down around her.

But we can’t.

She felt stupid and her cheeks were a bright shade of red. The brunette shifted uncomfortably in Quinn’s arms, her body stiffening as the blonde’s grip tightened. The mixed signals were throwing her off. Was Quinn hesitant about commitment? Maybe the wedding was the wrong time to bring something like this up.

Quinn’s words were twirling around her like chains, weighing her down and making Rachel feel trapped in her own body and in Quinn’s grip. The other girl. How could Rachel forget the other girl. And then Quinn spoke words that made Rachel feel dizzy and hurt and her heart felt as if it were shattering in her chest. We’re actually together. We’ve been have been for a few years now.

And in that moment, every place where she felt Quinn’s body against her own felt as though it were on fire - the touch burning an unbearable hole into her skin, but she couldn’t move. Rachel felt rooted into the ground, hands shaking as they fell limply from where her arms had been wrapped around Quinn.

Her ears were ringing and any words that followed Quinn’s admittance to Rachel being the other woman in some grand affair went in one ear and out another. She was sorry? How could she believe that an apology was appropriate? The brunette was simply baffled with everything Quinn was saying. How would telling her she had a girlfriend keep them from getting to know one another? They could’ve been just friends, but….how could she be so stupid. It was the worst possible news she could have ever received. Just when things were getting so good…

Gabby.

The world around Rachel felt as though it were crumbling into a million little pieces and she wanted to just fall to the ground and let the earth swallow her up. Gabby. The one person that Rachel had ever worried about losing Quinn to when the two of them had been together before: the reason for their breakup. It was Gabby and Quinn’s project that caused the last fight that truly ended their relationship. Things had been rocky due to stress of the end of the semester, but Rachel finding nearly nude pictures of Gabby for their final project was the last straw. If Quinn had just asked her how she felt about it…or even told her it was happening it would’ve been simply for art…She had felt betrayed by the one person she thought she could trust and it was enough to drive Quinn to Europe and apparently right into Gabby’s arms. Or maybe she’d always been romantically interested in Gabby.

Rachel was going to be sick, her stomach churning. She pushed the blonde off of her, taking a few steps back with her eyes wide with disbelief. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes and she felt pure anger boil up inside of her alongside the very familiar feeling of betrayal.

“How dare you?” The brunette asked, her voice almost a whisper, “You…and her?” she spat, putting one hand on her hip and the other rested against her temple. Of all the women in the world it had to be Gabby.

“I knew it!” Rachel exclaimed, her hand dropping to her side, “I fucking knew it all along! And now you mean to tell me you’re cheating on her…with me? How could you? Do I mean that little to you, Quinn?”

Quinn:

Quinn expected Rachel to shove her away, but it was still shocking nonetheless. Her arms fell helplessly at her sides as she leg Rachel yell at her. She deserved it, she couldn’t even really be upset about it. She’d been anticipating this kind of reaction from Rachel. It was actually a bit of a surprise that she hadn’t been slapped. Yet anyways.

Do I mean that little to you, Quinn?

Her head snapped up at that and she actually felt a little anger flame go in her chest. How could Rachel believe that she meant nothing to Quinn? After all this. She shook her head with a small frown.

“That’s what you’re getting from this? That I don’t care about you?” Quinn asked softly, disbelieving, “I wouldn’t be putting my relationship on the line if I didn’t care about you. That’s the problem I care about you…too much.”

Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence and she ran a hand through her hair. Seeing even the hint of tears in Rachel’s eyes made her throat tighten. She couldn’t believe she was doing this to Rachel. To Gabby. It was easy to ignore when no one was the wiser and she could pretend that it was inconsequential.

“Listen, I just…I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I never wanted to hurt you and I especially didn’t expect it to get this far. I just,” Quinn sighed and let out a humorless laugh, “I saw you there at the party and you were more beautiful then I remembered. You could always turn me into an idiot and that’s what happened. I could pretend for a long time that it wasn’t happening that we were just friends but then Atlantic City happened and-”

Her voice trailed off and she looked down at the floor, licking her lips nervously. She reached for Rachel’s hand because it felt natural. It was natural. That need to touch her and find comfort in her. Her heart ached in her chest and she wished she could take everything back and start over. Maybe be honest from the get go…but then she thought of all the moments she shared with Rachel that would never had happened.

“At first I didn’t say anything because it was Gabby and I knew how you’d…feel about that,” Quinn said still looking at the ground, “I mean if it makes you feel any better we didn’t get together officially until almost a year after we broke up.”

Quinn chewed on her bottom lip and wondered how much was too much. Now probably wasn’t the time to tell her about how they had hooked up in Europe but Quinn was still hung up on Rachel so Gabby refused to date her.

“I’m really sorry, Rachel,” Quinn said finally willing herself to look up at he brunette, “I really am. I should have told you..”

Rachel:

The anger in Quinn’s voice only elevated Rachel’s own frustration and she drew in a deep breath to attempt to compose herself in order to keep from snapping at the blonde while she was speaking. She wanted to hear what Quinn had to say, foolishly hoping that the words would soothe the stabbing pain in her chest. But Quinn’s words only deepened the wound, stirring up disgust with the blonde in front of her and for herself. When Quinn reached for her hand, she folded her arms across her chest. She couldn’t touch Quinn, not without seeing those photos of Gabby smiling past the camera at the blonde with barely a sheet draped over her.

She was the other woman in some affair. Some sort of physical and emotional affair on a girl that Quinn had been with, apparently, for quite some time. Even if it was Gabby it still made Rachel feel as though she were the worst possible person for even being around to create that sort of situation. And the fact that the woman Quinn had chosen to be in a committed relationship with post-Rachel was Gabby opened up another can of worms entirely.

Had Quinn always wanted Gabby? Had Rachel not been all that irrational when it came to her jealousy? Were the signs that Quinn had insisted Rachel was fabricating from some close friendship really there? She was going to be sick. The brunette shifted from one foot to another, half tempted to just walk away before Quinn could say anything more, but she couldn’t move. Her feet felt like lead and she simply stared at the blonde with utter disbelief.

A dry and humorless chuckle fell from her lips and she shook her head, begging the tears in her eyes to stay and to not fall until she was far away from Quinn. “Do you really think any of that makes it okay? You…I can’t believe you…” she breathed out, closing her eyes to keep the tears from falling. Her voice raised in volume, the anger finally boiling over inside of her past any rational thought. “You went off to Europe with fucking Gabby! And now you tell me you two have been together…are LIVING together and yet you still…just because I looked good at a party?” she trailed off momentarily, attempting to gather her thoughts to no success.

“I was falling for you Quinn! You could have walked away or told me that we just needed to be friends or at least…but no, you were texting me while you were at home with her.”

And then it all clicked. The aversion to going back to Quinn’s place, the conference calls, the meetings, the closed off way Quinn had showed Rachel around her studio, the reasoning behind keeping Santana and Brittany out of the loop of their budding relationship. It was all to keep Gabby from finding out about Rachel and to keep Rachel from finding out that Quinn was with Gabby. It was all so well rehearsed and she wondered how long Quinn would’ve let it go on.

The tears were flowing freely by this point and Rachel just shook her head, finding the strength to move her feet to take a few steps back, putting a safe amount of distance between the two of them.

“Never,” Rachel started, her voice soft and shaking with a volatile mix of anger and guilt, “never contact me again…I hope you realize that I am not the one you should be apologizing to.”

Quinn:

“It’s not just because you looked good at a party,” Quinn insisted, “It’s because…because I remembered what it was to love you.”

Quinn felt the words almost choke in her throat and she swallowed thickly. Tears stung at Quinn’s eyes and she looked away from Rachel. Seeing the tears stream down the brunette’s face would surely make her break down completely.

It felt like the walls were closing in around her, even if she was out in the open air. Everything was caving in on her and her ears rang as she tried to get her thoughts together.

Never contact me again.

The panic rose in Quinn’s chest and she made a move to reach for Rachel but stopped herself. She couldn’t be without the brunette ever again. Not that she knew what it was like to have her in her life again. To not be able to even call her was-…heartbreaking.

“I’m so sorry, Rachel,” Quinn practically whispered, “Please please believe me. I never wanted to hurt you. Or anyone.”

Tears leaked from Quinn’s eyes and down her cheeks as she looked helplessly at the brunette in front of her. She really ruined things. For everyone. For Rachel and now what if Gabby found out? She could only imagine the look on her face.

“I messed up,” Quinn pleaded again, “I understand you not wanting anything to do with me anymore. But just please…can we just talk about this?”

Rachel:

The words stung as they hit Rachel and she shook them off, pleading with the universe around her that this was just some nightmare and that she’d wake up the night before the wedding and this would have all just been a dream. But it wasn’t; the pain was too real and Quinn’s profession of remembering what it was like to love Rachel hurt worse than finding out that Gabby was the woman that filled their time apart. It hurt because it implied feelings that Rachel wanted to pretend she had just made up. It justified her own actions in all of it. It justified the fact that she was remembering what it was like to love Quinn again too. It made it far harder to write off as some stupid fling with an ex and moved the entire affair into a much more complicated category.

The more Quinn apologized, the harder it was for Rachel to continue to stand in front of her and take it all in. She wanted to leave the wedding, say her goodbyes to Brittany and Santana and congratulate them on a happy life together, and simply go home and curl up in bed and watch every romantic drama she could think of while drowning her sorrows in some sort of terribly unhealthy dessert.

“Talk about this?!” She exclaimed, flabbergasted that Quinn would even suggest that they sit down and have a mature conversation about the entire thing, “What is there to talk about, Quinn? We broke up, you left and moved on with her”, she couldn’t bare to say her name again - it would feel all too real, “and then you let me fall for you only to break my heart again. And all because of her. Every time you’ve ever hurt me its been because of her.”

She let out a huff of air, shaking her head, “First the pictures, then Europe, and now this…you…there’s nothing to talk about.”

Rachel took a few steps back until she was on the sidewalk, wiping at the tears on her cheeks, “I really hope all of this was worth it to you.” And with that, she turned on her heel and began the walk back to the reception. She hoped her eyes weren’t too puffy and that her cheeks weren’t too red, but she didn’t really care. She just needed to make it long enough to get into the cab after saying her goodbyes to Santana and Brittany.

It didn’t take long to find the bride, off chatting with some more people Rachel didn’t know - they seemed like dancers, probably one of Brittany’s coworkers. The blonde excused herself from conversation when she laid eyes on Rachel and furrowed her brow in concern.

“Rachel are you okay?” She asked, her voice hushed.

The brunette nodded in response, a light and forced chuckle on her lips “It’s nothing, trust me. You know weddings make me emotional. I’m going to have to head out, but I wanted to give you my official congratulations. I’m so happy for you.”

She wrapped her arms around Brittany, pulling the woman in for a quick hug before stepping away, “Please give Santana my congratulations and enjoy your honeymoon. I expect pictures…of the hotel…nothing else.”

With another quick goodbye, the brunette made a beeline for the exit, completely intent on missing any and all signs of Quinn for as long as New York City would let her.

Quinn:

Quinn couldn’t help the little flare of protectiveness that rose up in her when Rachel talked about Gabby. Just the way she said her made Quinn want to tell the brunette to not speak of her girlfriend again. But that would be a little hypocritical wouldn’t it? Gabby didn’t deserve any of that resentment and distaste though, she did nothing wrong.

“Don’t talk about Gabby that way, Rachel. She had nothing to do with anything. She may have been a factor in our breakup but that was because you were jealous and I was an idiot,” Quinn insisted with another run her her hand through her hair.

Rachel was already backing away and Quinn knew better then to go after her. She knew that it would only lead to more drama and probably a slap in the face. Which was the last thing she needed right now. She began to pace back and forth between the bushes and just tried to calm down. Her heart was racing in her chest and she still had the urge to run after Rachel and make her talk. “Fuck,” she cursed under her breath. For a moment she wondered if Rachel would tell anyone what happened, if Gabby would find out. Panic clutched at her and she felt sick to her stomach. “Fuck!”

She wiped away the remaining tears from her eyes and hoped she looked presentable as she walked back into the reception and scanned the room for Rachel. She didn’t see her but saw Brittany over talking to some of her work friends and Santana on the dance floor with her Mom. They looked nonplused so she was sure Rachel hadn’t told them anything. She looked around more to see any sign of the brunette and didn’t. Before going back to her seat she stopped at the bar for another drink, pulling out her phone when she sat down. Part of her hoped that Rachel had called her or texted her or…anything. But knew better then to think that was a possibility. There was a message from Gabby saying she was on her way back from work now and Quinn quickly typed back that she should come to the wedding after all.

Gabby was the comfort she needed right now. To be able to just sit in her arms and feel her kiss the side of her head like she always did. Quinn sighed just thinking about it. This all was probably for the best. She dodged a bullet. If she had continued this thing with Rachel, who knew what would happen. Things could have ended ten times more horribly. It didn’t mean she didn’t already miss the brunette. Quinn took a long sip of her drink and watched as Brittany spotted her and dismissed herself from her group.

“Hey, what happened with Rachel?” Britt asked softly as she sat in Gabby’s empty seat.

“What do you mean?” Quinn asked playing dumb as her stomach clenched.

“She just left. She looked upset and I saw you guys walk out together. She didn’t mention anything?” Brittany asked without any suspicion. But it still made Quinn twitch nervously.

Quinn shrugged nonchalantly, “You know weddings make her emotional.” Or movies about weddings or romantic movies or anything of the sort really. At least they used to. Quinn silently hoped these facts were still true.

Brittany nodded, “That’s what she said too.”