#paperheaded

╳ truth or dare

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT!” Oh, Steve is busting a full gut right now...

[Unknown]: Wow, Flug! And here I was, thinking you a prude~!

OOC: !!!!!!!

╳ truth or dare

     have 300 years already passed ??

     black hat rounds up the crew, in typical black hat fashion (that is to say, slithering through the shadows of the mansion, scaring the living shit out of them when he emerged from the darkness undetected and dragged them into the void, because apparently implementing intercoms in the mansion would just make too much sense.)

     with dr. flug, demencia, and 505 in his company, the first order of business is to────

     YAWN.  jaw cracks, maw like an open bear trap ready to snap and maim.  none among these associates are unacclimated to the cage of off-color fangs that constitutes black hat’s mouth.  no, of all things, it is the seemingly innocuous act of yawning in and of itself.  since when did black hat feel fatigue ??  he has never been seen at rest, opting at night to haunt the halls or venture out into the night for god knows what reason.

     the oddities continue to stack on top of each other, as black hat stands before them looking anything less than his usual pristine self.  gone is the overcoat, vest, and tie, leaving him in an untucked button-down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and rounding out the “casual” look with a bowler perched atop his head as opposed to the infamous top hat.

     ❛ i need you imbeciles to listen VERY CAREFULLY, ❜ the eldritch employer begins, tenting his fingers together in front of him and enunciating his words as best as he could with the dregs of sleep attempting to pull them all together into an incomprehensible slur.  ❛ i am about to enter a deep sleep for the next three days, and i cannot at any point for any reason wake up from it.  it’s literally impossible────the entire mansion could come crumbling down around me and i’ll keep snoozing.  once i slept through an entire raid.  pillaging, plundering, fires all around me.  people screaming for mercy, only to die the most agonizing deaths.  i was very disappointed that i missed it.  anyway, it’s imperative, then, that you all restrain yourselves for the next 72 hours.  don’t get into any trouble, because dear ol’ black hat won’t be around to bail you out. ❜

     then with a click of serpentine tongue, a small stack of papers materializes into his opened and once-empty hands.  ❛ oh, and in case you were wondering, this does not mean holiday for you stooges.  i had these schedules drawn up in advance, should this day ever come during your diminutive mortal lifespans.  you will need to keep PRODUCTIVE if you are to have any hope of checking off every item on this list by the time i wake up.  and if you don’t, i’ll have you strung up by your toes from the rafters. ❜

     yeaaah, did she not have other things to do ?? better things. demi excessively taps her foot on the ground; the insane smile on her face turning into a look of indifference. it shouldn’t bother her, but it did. she didn’t have a crush on flug- noo, that she was sure of, but it bothered her that it was starting to matter to her what he thought of her. 

     “ how can you stand that bear ?? ” she hisses out, seemingly out of character for her to speak so serious. while she couldn’t care less if 5.0.5. overheard, demi tries to keep her tone low enough for flug to hear. “ he’s the opposite of what he should represent for the organization- why haven’t you rid of him yet ?? ”