#papeng

I remember so much growing up, when people found out that I have both of my lolos. They would tell me how lucky I am while I never really understood how much of a luck that was but rather I would ask them why would they think highly of me in some way. When they told me they never even met their lolo/lola, I never felt sadness. Not because I was heartless but how can you expect someone to feel something she never even gone through. I can't even fathom how other people don't have them in their own families. I grew up having them all around me knowing I have a lolo, lola, titas and titos, cousins both on each side. I never really really understood them. Not until I step foot in college. I lost both of my lolos while I was in college. I must admit I'm closer to my other lolo than the other and we call Papeng. Papeng is such a kind hearted man. This is not exaggeration or just me being good with words. This is me telling you pure honesty. I will always wonder when I'm alone and I think of him, how can he give love so much? How can he give love to those people he care so much when there's too many of us? When I can't even give it to one single person. How can he make people feel loved, cared and embrace us all wih his good heart including his own family- his own siblings, his wife, his children, his grandchildren, his clients and friends. There's too many of us but he managed to make us feel loved. I feel his love for me like it was yesterday. His love was never really vocally spoken but you feel it everytime when he is around. You feel it when you watch him as he care for other people, you feel it as he smiles and tell jokes and while he laughs at those silly things. You feel it while he grunts when he noticed you did something silly, and I must tell you that I never even saw him growl at people as he always kept his calm and composure and most importantly his patience. I can feel it as he constantly bring up all of our names, even his late friends and family, the country, the presufent, the poor during our evening rosaries consistently as I grew up. I feel his love for his own country, for the people he never even get to encounter with with his passion for law and his passion for Jesus Christ. I feel it in my bones and this is not an overstatement. I was just basically telling you everything I saw with my own two eyes. His love was real. His love was so pure that I can't even forget how it feels. He taught me so much about love without even him knowing. He taught me so much about compassion and religion and so many things. His love was so pure and unconditional that I feel sad for people who didn't get the chance to meet him. He was such an incredible man. I wish you could have been with me growing up so you would meet him. I'm not here to brag about how wonderful he is but my intention for writing this was simply remembering about my own experience about having no clue of how it felt to grow up without them in a family. I never understood a single. Never knew how much I was so lucky to have them all around me growing up. I never understood how important that was. Never understood how lucky I was. I'm just way beyond grateful ❤ It is such a bittersweet memory If you find the time to finish the story up until the end. My heart is so glad that I have shared it with someone. I hope I have passed on his love to you even just trough my writing. All love,