#palpebral

Palpebral, adj. /pal’pəb-rəl/ - Of or pertaining to the eyelids.

adjective. Of or relating to the eyelids. (Oxford)

I’m scared of monsters. Yes, I am 24 years old. I’ll be 25 in April. That’s irrelevant. 

I’m scared of monsters. Well, to be honest, most of the time I’m only mildly concerned about monsters. The feeling I get when in a Monster Danger Zone isn’t usually fear in the strictest sense. It’s really more like nervousness or apprehension or something like that. Then there’s the attempt to suppress the monster thoughts because they’re obviously irrational. That endeavor tends to fail pretty quickly. 

I go through phases with it. I have periods of vague distress, nothing too exciting really. Then I have a spell of full-blown panic and terror, and I can barely get out from under the covers or go downstairs to get a snack. Downstairs is the Danger Zone, where monsters could jump at me through the kitchen windows or the screen door, and going out on the screen porch to smoke a cigarette is like an invitation for them to run out from the trees and tear me apart. Monster time is after 11pm. I have to make sure I get my smoking in before then.

How scared I get really depends on my level of belief in the whole thing. It’s whether or not I see a monster attack as a remote possibility or as a real, honest-to-god threat to my life and wellbeing. A monster lull is no reason to screw around though. There’s always some small part of my brain dedicated to monster awareness,  always cognizant of the chance that a big hairy fucker might chase me down and rip me to shreds.

 The Monster Danger Zone has gotten smaller as I’ve gotten older. When I was a kid and it was dark I would get worried that they would come and eat me in my bed. 

My only defense was to close my eyes. I couldn’t bear to look. Maybe if I can’t see them, maybe they won’t be there, or maybe it won’t hurt as badly. Maybe I’ll be safe with my eyes closed. Maybe they won't know where I am.

Definition of PALPEBRAL

:  of, relating to, or located on or near the eyelids

Origin of PALPEBRAL

Late Latin palpebralis, from Latin palpebra eyelid; akin to Latin palpare