#pally thoughts

Taylor Swift: lol guess I'll give the album name and details today. Oh, and here's a new single.

I HAVE THE BEST FIANCE. I LOVE MY FIANCE. OMG I HAVE A FIANCE.

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

IS THIS JUST FANTASY?

I'm so excited. I just CAN'T

I am so in love with every aspect of him, and he's really the best, sweetest, kindest, most loving guy out there.

Game over.

Me: THIS... IS MY C H I L D... I SHALL TRAIN HER TO BE STRONG, AND GIVE ENDLESS LOVE... MY CHILD, MY KIN, MY OFFSPRING, MY...

I hate how one silly boy can make me crazy.

I'm 99% gay and the 1% is just HIM.

Because he's such a damn special person, and so close to my heart.

And fucking adorable to boot.

Ugh. Fuck. FUCK.

I was trying to give him his space as I do, because I know I always text a lot and he gets tired by that SUPER easily. It's just a balance thing between our respective Asperger's symptoms.

And he fucking texts me tonight, as I'm closing the store: "Have good sleeps."

And I melt. Because he NEVER texts first, or reaches out like that. And I was trying to let him have his space and be understanding and all anyway.

And now my brain has just been going "sjajdjslamzkjdksksk could I still be special to him? Could he just be hiding it? He used to treat me like I was so super special, and then shit happened and it faded. But could he still, somewhere deep down, under his cold and unfeeling exterior, have those feelings, secretly? Could it be possible? Sjsjdjdkdosks"

Ugh.

I love him so much.

And he's the special aspie that changed my life forever when I was sixteen. He shifted everything and made it brighter and happier.

I truly don’t believe I’m cut out for it.

I can’t stand the idea of being romantically involved with anyone intellectually inferior to me, and I lack empathy. 

Sadly, the number of people who are intellectually equal to or greater than me is a lot lower than those who are inferior. It’s just cold facts, and my intelligence is the biggest good thing about my autism. 

I’m not saying no one is smarter than me at all. I’ve met some amazingly intelligent people in my time whose brains I deeply admire and look up to. 

I’m just saying they’re few and far between, and so harder to find. And it sucks. I would love to date someone smarter than me, who is interested in me. It just seems impossible. 

I’m going to die alone with my journals and stuffed animals. 

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!

Peter (boyfriend) proposed last night!!

It was SOOOO SWEET!!!

He was so nervous and shaky lol.

He said he had to pick up my surprise after work, and I was like "okay..."

So he got home and layed down in bed with me and started talking about other things (lol probably procrastinating bc nerves), and then he was like "Oh yeah, you want to see what I got you?"

And he kept talking while he grabbed the bag, and ajsnzjxjdjdndem

The ABSOLUTE DORK handed the bag to me and made me open it like a present, and then told me to open the box.

And it was the ring.

Lol, I was in shock.

"What is it?"

"I think you know what it is."

And he leaned in to wrap his arms around me.

"So, will you marry me?" His voice all nervous and shaky.

And we just layed there and anuggle and kissed and cried happy tears together for like ten minutes.

And I said yes.

I love him so much.

Aw.

I have a fiancé!!!!!