Session 116: The Spatulation
Previously on Ongo Bongo:
I have no memory of this place
Trek's temple
CAMEMBERT Jambert is adopted
something something magic items, jar of feet
run from the duke
We wake to the smell of burning eggs. Jib-Jab is cooking, his spatula is missing.
Odh tries to find the spatula and does not succeed. Kaa rolls a 24 on a spatula check. (Survival.) There is no sign of it.
JibJab and Kaa fight about whether or not we stole the spatula. ("Why are you lying to me! YOU TOLD ME TO" redux.) He moves on to Odh quickly.
JibJab refuses to serve us breakfast until we find his spatula. "So for the sake of the notes, let me get this straight: are we milking the bumblefuzzes?" *Rae dies.* "No, we're scraping honey off the wall." And then milking the bumblefuzzes.
Saabi: "Kaa trying to figure out what the fuck is buried in our basement." (We didn't figure it out.)
We discuss building a room for the pets, and using the Croissant and/or Camembert to clean up all the fucking honey in the bedroom. Saabi tries to get JibJab to build it based on the schematics in his magic book. It gets put in the queue.
Next on the docket: potentially becoming JibJab's employees. Saabi becomes an indentured servant yet again.
"Scarlett after the whale incident:"
Nat 20 on a "Are Scarlett and Buddy fucking" check. LOVE WINS. Kaa no longer feels the need to play matchmaker, which means everyone wins.
Scarlett is missing her mace, Lasko is missing his diary, Estalion is missing his net, Henry is missing his cleaver, Artist's rendition of Estalion, probably.
Lasko writing in his diary.
Estalion's missing net.
Jaeth and his fucking rocks. Kaa is now covered in Jaeth Musk.
We all take a bath at the wells, amazing! Jaeth:
Jaeth admits that he thinks someone was watching him sleep.
Kaa learns that Xivan has about 8BPM heartrate. "Well, he's not dead, but he ain't right!" "I was looking for this for a while but as soon as Jaeth said "that's the vibe I got" I thought of this video:"
"That's just Kaa @ Jaeth currently."
Xivan remains insufferable. We test the DM's ability to monologue without interruption.
"XIVAN!" "Yeeeees?" "I need to ask the DM a question!" "Shut the fuck up Xivan, we need to talk to the DM!"
We definitely are not racially profiling kobolds this entire session. The storehouse door looks like it's been wiped clean, and there are scratches on it. We go home to check and see what's missing. Kaa is missing her bones, Odh's missing Duchess's cloak, Saabi is missing the pebble he got from JibJab. There are scratches on our window on both sides.
We decide to do construction work with JibJab until dark, then keep watch for the thief. Kaa rolls well on her strength check, clearly Jaeth's rocks are working. Saabi restores the entire inn. We blast through nine work orders total. Saabi pays to work. Pony channels some professional rage via JibJab.
We look for the thief, no dice. Well, bad dice. Odh nat 2s, Kaa Nat 1s. Town's haunted.
We wake up and more shit is missing! Druid stone, bar of soap, tinderbox. We prepare our spells and head for the wall. We meet Bar, who is missing a brass ring, but has not seen anything weird. WE locate object, it's in Haventide. Immediately, the kobolds are blamed. "I WANNA GO IN THE HOLE," yet again. "Holes, man." - My brain. (What the fuck?) We go in the hole. There is a spiral staircase now instead of a pit. The kobolds are there. Tagi can now make fire. We make our way to the kobold mushroom farm. There is a dark corner with a shape moving in it. There is a pile of objects. IT'S FUCKING SAL. And three eggs! "How many people know that we have a salamander in our basement, tho?" Pony, with feeling: "*Most." We take back the sentimental items and let Sal have stuff that smells like us but isn't needed. Kaa does not return Jaeth's rock. WE DID IT. \o/ NEXT TIME ON ONGO BONGO: read Lasko's diary!
