#padshiy

the streets of danube, romania are nothing in comparison to the hustle and bustle of new york city; the city that truly never sleeps. and she likes that. here everything is so calm. a far cry from her usual surroundings. tranquility filters throughout the air, and is experienced with each new footstep forward. there’s so much to do and see, but hardly enough time for all that pepper would like to visit. eyes lightly scan her tourist list of activities, and with a swipe here and there, she removes a few of the items, being practical and logical, making good use of her time. between meeting with the romanian prime minister and presenting si’s new proposal to utilize a select few romanian resources, she’s allowed a couple of hours of leisure. approaching a local bar, the redhead feels inclined to peek inside; one drink couldn’t possibly hurt, and besides, the architecture is breathtaking. worth a glance. 

gross. that’s gross.

bucky was very close to both of his parents. their family was very well woven , but buck was , admittedly , something of a mamma’s boy. there was something , to him , that was ultimately more accessible about her ———  james barnes , sr. was a bit of a romantic , and along with that came a restlessness and a wanderlust that might as well have been inherited from his own father. eydie , though , was much more grounded , fingers in the soil , and bucky gravitated towards her strong bones.now , he was fairly young when he lost both of them , but his mother died when he was nine - going - on - ten , and because of that he’ll always have an incredibly childlike remembrance of his mom. his dad is different , though ——— while he was never cruel / cold do his children , he did lose his wife , and that inevitably changes the dynamic. after the death of his mother , bucky did a bit of forceful growing up —— he took the responsibility for the normalization of their family dynamic with the absence of his mother , took up the role of caring for Rebecca ; he didn’t really deal with his own grief , and instead sort of let it turn into a low simmering anger. he fought , and constantly —— and the thing is , bucky fought to be fighting, more than anything. was looking for an outlet. he picked fights , found excuses to fight wherever and whenever he could. this was , naturally , troubling for his father in a way that strongly resonated as disappointment   (  in actuality , bucky’s dad had trouble with his own tricky temper when he was younger , and his want for bucky to better himself comes from an understanding. he believes that bucky is better than his actions — but bucky pretty much solely reads this as disappointment.  )   & of course , we know , that disappointment is the lasting impression bucky unfortunately takes from his father.so : bucky more internalizes the grief from his mother , while the grief from his father is reflected externally ———— that is , he keeps a lot of his mother’s mannerisms , while his father affects his actions going forward. he took his father’s name when he left Shelbyville , and his father’s aspirations , but he is composed , more basely , of his mother’s gestures and her family recipes. it’s not so much that he was affected more by one or the other , but that he holds them in differently : he aches to keep his mother close ——— her culture , her lessons , the way she moved her hands when speaking , but he lets his father shape his actions in an attempt to make himself into someone his father would’ve been ultimately proud of ;  he still cherishes his mother the way he had as a child , but is trying to make amends with his father’s ghost.

                        OF COURSE he's agitated from the amount of distanced gained .   they stride on foot , no sort of VEHICLE for the two to be had ( aside from his glider , which jim refused to dart ahead on for the sake of his company's likeness ) .   there's an annoyed hiss to be had when he stubs his foot on a rock mid step , and he stops , cursing profanity that should not come from such a handsome fellow .                   ❝ fuck - fucking , to hell with this ! ❞ angry and immaturely , he digs the rock out of the dirt with the toe of his boot , then lividly shot - putts the large stone with a frustrated kick.          ❝ where are we even going anyway !? ❞

                     ❛   i ain’t got nothing t’ do with your  ARM.   ❜     he quirks a brow.  listen,  people:  there’s method to the madness !  there’s a leg,  for the  hopping,  until he gets a  chair.  there’s the  EYE,  so he’s crashing into things.  c’mon !  where would be the fun in an  arm ?  who do you think he is ?     ❛   listen,  people turn up with one  hand  all the time.  even if i were ... interested  in the mechanics,  what’s weird about it ?   ❜

                 ❝I don't know who I am anymore. Not once in life have I been real but I've never felt this close before❞