#padrian

Jeff:

Jeff was tired, very tired as he had been wondering and scared to know where Adrian had been. Hearing though that he wasn’t hurt or being taken away, he relaxed some and as more than ready for him to come over. Hearing a knock, Jeff rushed down the stairs to the door and opened it for him. Jeff answered in only his sweats that hung on his hip. Smiling, he took Adrian’s hand, leaning him to the bedroom. 

Adrian didn't often have friends over to his place and having a male friend over, in his room - well he'd never really done that before and it made him a bit nervous. Up until now, he'd only spent time with Jeff at Jeff's house and he didn't want Jeff to think his room was stupid. Which only made him feel more stupid, for caring so much. But he did care. Letting out a sigh he looked around his room again, fixing the bedspread one more time before he headed to the door when Jeff knocked and pulling it open, smirking as he let his hair fall into his face. "Hey cutie." He grinned, pulling the door open wider to let Jeff in.

Jeff wasn't sure what he was doing. This wasn't normal for them, he didn't go to Adrian's house but here he was standing on the doorstep and knock. He wore his fitted jeans, a nicely fitted shirt and a jacket. Having showered after dance, his hair was still wet when the door opened. "hey there.' he chuckled, stepping inside and looking around. He had been there before, parties and all but it seemed different now. The reason for being there could be it.

Adrian grinned, following Jeff in and shutting the door behind him, "How was dance?" He asked, nodding towards the stairway and leading Jeff up to his room, pushing the door open and holding his breath. In reality his room was pretty mundane. Dark colors, clean...enough. Few personal effects other than the laptop on his desk and a picture or two that hung around the room. "So...this is it."

Jeff shrugged. "It was dance, national are coming up so I'm working towards winning that and maybe a scholarship to ABA in New York." Jeff following him along and up to his room. Smiling, Jeff looked around, softly touching things. Turning back to him, Jeff stepped close. "I like it, its very you. So what is the plan for tonight?"

Adrian nodded, reaching out to Jeff and pulling him closer, kicking the door shut and shrugging, "I assumed it was just going to be me...making it up to you for earlier..." He mumbled, looking to Jeff with wide eyes, "I'm sorry." He swallowed hard, "I just get so...angry and..." He sighed. It was true, often his anger and emotions clouded his judgement. "I like you, okay? But...it doesn't really change anything, because you like him. And I'm not coming out."

Jeff licked over his lips as Adrian pulled him close. He was use to that, use to the other boy holding him while they talked. "How were you going to do that? I mean I'm not even upset with you, well not anymore at least." His hand came up and held Adrian's cheek as he suddenly gasped. He couldn't mean it, could he? That wasn't possible. Jeff sucked on his lip, as he stepped closer and looked to his eyes. "You do?"

Adrian nodded, slowly, meeting Jeff's eyes again. "I do. I guess. Yeah." He said with a gentle voice, "Does that..mean anything to you or whatever?" He asked, raising a brow, chewing on his bottom lip nervously, half wondering if he should retracted what he'd said before Jeff responded because he was scared of what he'd hear.

Jeff nodded then, he didn't say anything though. Just smiling and nodding. "yeah it does." His cheeks getting a new shade of red on them. Stepping in more, his fingers ran up and through Adrian's hair. "it means a lot actually...." he didn't know how else to say it or how to say what he was thinking, just that it meant something to him.

Adrian groaned, "You're so fucking cute." He mumbled, pulling Jeff tightly against himself and kissing him deeply, nudging him backwards even as their lips locked, towards the bed and pulling away before giving him a gentle shove onto it. "Just let me apologize." He added, a smirk crossing his lips as he pulled off his shirt and moved onto his knees in front of the bed, positioning himself between Jeff's legs, "Yeah?"

Jeff shook his head, but kissed him back and giggled as he fell back onto the bed. "Fine fine." he laughed a little more. Seeing Adrian on his knees, it was so new to him. It was always him on his knees so to see him like that only made him blush more. "Alright." chewing on his lip a bit more as he held onto the comforter.

Adrian nodded, his hands visibly hesitating as he lifted them to undo Jeff's pants, nervous and awkward compared to his normal demeanour, "Okay...okay..." He swallowed hard, unzipping his pants and leaning up, "I am sorry. I...you're important to me, okay?" He spoke again, stalling, looking up at Jeff and biting his bottom lip. "Okay..I'm shutting up now."

Jeff stilled the boy's hands and lifted his chin. "You don't have to do this to make me feel important, you know?" Looking into his blue eyes, Jeff melted in a new way. This wasn't the boy he saw all the time and it was rather cute and fun to see. Pressing a kiss to his lips then, Jeff scooted back more on the bed and pulled Adrian with him.

Adrian nodded, following Jeff's lead and hovering over him, kissing him slowly and deeply, "I want to do it. Okay? I really am sorry about earlier. I was...shitty. And I...I was jealous and...angry I guess." He shrugged and frowned, "Let me make it up to you?"

Jeff kissed him back, licking over his lip as Adrian spoke. The boy always tasted so sweet when they kissed. "If you're really sure, I mean, I'm good with just cuddling and kissing the crap out of you but if you want." His finger dragging down Adrian's bare chest with a teasing smile. "I won't stop you, okay?"

Adrian grinned, biting his lip and moving onto the bed, leaning back against the bedframe and motioning Jeff closer, pulling his arms around him tightly and kissing his neck, "I just...I want to show you. Because I don't know how...else to show you...and..." He sighed, "If I ever...like did...come out...what would that mean?"

Jeff rolled over, moving to straddle his lap. His fingers weaved into the hairs on the back of Adrian's neck. The kiss to his neck sent shivers down Jeff's spine, it was all so new and different for them. "Being this person, apologizing...that shows me." Jeff twisted his face, playing with Adrian's hair a bit. "Well it would mean you were out and you didn't have to hide from everyone anymore. You probably wouldn't be as angry either and mostly all the boys would want you so you wouldn't have time for little old me anymore because you'd get more boys then Sebastian." jeff chuckled.

Adrian sighed and shook his head, "I never wanted that...to have all the boys. I just wanted...like one guy to notice me. But people only notice him." He shrugged, "I'm used to it by now. It's not like anyone actually knows about me besides you." He chewed on his lip and looked back up at Jeff, "Thanks for...being cool with me...about being gay..and not telling people and stuff."

Jeff leaned in and kissed him softly. "I notice you, but then again, being shoved into lockers, its hard to miss someone." He chuckled, still playing with Adrian's hair a little more. "Yeah but once they do know..." he shrugged a bit. " You're welcome, i mean, I'm not one to tell secrets that aren't mine to tell. I just want to see you happy, i like when people are happy."

Adrian groaned, "I'm sorry I just..." He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Jeff's and kissing him again, "I just don't think I can come out...not right now." He whispered and pressed his lips to Jeff's once more, "I still don't think he's good enough for you, but neither am I."

Jeff kissed him back, licking over his lips. "I think you are...but I get it and I can't just be with you and hide...but that doesnt mean I don't want this. I like this. I like how it feels when you hold me and kiss me." He blushed. "So we don't have to stop, unless you want to."

Adrian raised a brow, "You.." He hesitated, "You...actually...like me?" He asked, staring back at Jeff suspiciously, "I...I guess it doesn't matter right?" He chuckled, feeling his cheeks heat up as he looked away, "It's stupid..."

Jeff blushed and shrugged. He didn't really answer but he hoped the other boy knew. It would all be true but he couldn't be hiding and be happy. So for now, this was all they could have. Seeing him blush as well, Jeff caught his eyes. "Are you happy with what we have...whatever this is?"

Adrian sighed and scratched his head, thinking silently for a moment before he answered, "I mean...do I wish I could be happy? And like date a guy and fall in love and all that shit? Sure. I mean...everyone deserves happiness. But...that's not really something I'm allowed to have in this lifetime...I guess so..what choice do I have but to be happy with what we have? I don't get to be out and proud. I get...angry and closeted....that's my lot in life."

Jeff sighed, his face falling some. He wasn't sure of Adrian understood what he was asking him but he didn't push to ask him more. He didnt' want to annoy the boy. Caressing his cheek, jeff looked into his eyes and licked his lips softly. "Well, here, with me, you can be out and proud and happy." he whispered to him. "I wish i could do more but know with me, you don't have to hide." Nuzzling his cheek a bit and lacing his fingers into Adrian as his eyes closed and he just breathed the boy in.

Adrian nodded, settling into Jeff and kissing his cheek, "Would you date me?" He asked, a brow raised again, "I mean like...if I was...out...would we like...be some kind of gay power couple, or something stupid?" He chuckled, his hand sliding down Jeff's thigh, his lips pressing again Jeff's neck again, nipping at it gently. "Would you let me do this to you in public?"

Jeff grinned and blushed. He didn't even hesitate, the words just fell from his lips. "yeah, I would." Giggling, and biting his lip as Adrian nipped at the spot that drove him crazy. "yeah, I would. I don't care who saw, I don't mind PDA. Would you think about coming out to be with me?" Playing with his fingers in Adrian's hair.

Adrian laughed, and letting his tongue flick against the pale skin of Jeff's neck and nodding, "I...are you asking me out?" He murmured, "Because...that's...a lot to ask of someone..." He whispered, though he was surprised that he hadn't said no outrightly, surprised that he was actually considering it. One day. Not today, but maybe one day.

Jeff giggled some but shook his head. "No, I'm not, i'm asking if you'd come out so you could ask me." he teased and pecked his lips with a smile on his lips. "I know it is, thats why you get to ask when you're ready but know...you gotta come out." Winking and rubbing his nose past Adrian. "until then, I'm here with you."

Adrian nodded, "I promise, if I come out...you'll be the first guy I ask...okay?" He whispered, kissing Jeff's cheek, "And I'll be a great boyfriend." He mumbled, "I'll do all sorts of gay shit for you." He teased, poking Jeff's side playfully and leaning back, pulling Jeff with him and kissing him once more, passionately, carefully. "I want to be more for you, but...I just can't...and I'm not gonna ask you to like...be in the closet with me."

Jeff yelped and laughed as Adrian poked his side. Kissing him back, he hummed in the kiss, leaning against him more as he boy laid back again. "I know and I know, so like I said, for now, its just this and I like this and I better be the first boy to know. Then you can come kiss me in front of everyone. I know you will be, I have no doubt about that." Jeff daring to lick his cheek and roll off of him with a laugh and brow raised in challenge. "Catch me if you can." Jeff jumping to his feet and standing against the wall far from the bed.

Adrian snorted, "Fucking difficult aren't you?" He teased, crawling to the edge of the bed before hoping out of it, moving towards Jeff slowly, "I'm not that guy...who only lives for the chase, you know..." He spoke gently, cornering Jeff, hovering close, leaning into him and pressing a kiss to his lips, "I'm pretty happy right now, you know..."

Jeff laughed as he was pinned in the corner. "I know you're not but where is the fun it always making it easy on you, huh?" Kissing him back. "I'm glad, so am I." Kissing him again, this time, he teased as he pulled on his bottom lip and winked to him. Jeff chewing on his lip in a cute and flirty way.

Adrian smirked and nodded, "Wouldn't want to make my life easy...no." He snickered, holding Jeff's waist in firm grip again, "God, you're so cute." He whined, "Let me suck you off?" He whispered, his voice harsh in the moment, "Let me just...do this for you...babe? Please?"

Jeff laughed lightly and blushed all at once. Not only was he calling him cute, he called him babe. Jeff could have gone weak in the knees over that. With a nod, still biting his lip, Jeff agreed.

Adrian took in a deep breath and nodded, "Okay." He spoke softly and moved to his knees once again, this time more sure, working quickly to tug Jeff's pants down and looking up at him, "Say you want it..."

Jeff bit his lips, watching in shock a bit to see Adrian on his knees for him again. Hearing him ask Jeff to say it, Jeff blushed even more and covered his face. He hadn't ever asked for it but Adrian wanted him to ask, so he took a deep breath before he spoke. "Suck me off, please."

Adrian shuddered and nodded, "Fuck. that's...hot...J..." He mumbled, his hand moving around Jeff's cock slowly, stroking it as he looked up at the blonde with wide eyes, "you're hot."

Jeff blushed even more as Adrian touched him, making him gasp and moan. His head fell back against the wall, his mouth open in pleasure. He couldn't respond right away. Slowly he looked back down to Adrian, shaking his head. "No I'm not."

Adrian nodded, "Yes you are." He argued, "You're sexy." he leaned up, his tongue tracing the length of his cock slow towards the tip, sweeping over it as he let out a soft groan, "And I'm going to enjoy you so much."

Jeff bit his lip, as the boy spoke. The sudden lick to his cock and his knees were buckling some. "Oh shit...fuck." he whimpered out, trying his best to stay on his feet as Adrian worked him up.

Adrian smirked, "So sexy." He nodded, shifting closer, stroking Jeff more quickly and letting his lips envelope his cock gently, sinking onto him with a soft moan as he let his head do the work for him.

Jeff was melting more then he ever had for Adrian with this touch. He wasn't sure he could last that long but he wasn't going to let go easy either. With the moan around his cock and the heat of it, Jeff moaned as well, biting into his coat to keep himself from being to loud.

Adrian let his head bob, slowly, practiced though he really hadn't had all that much practice but concentrating on his actions and hoping to give Jeff a good time. After a moment he pulled off and smirked, "Good babe?" He mumbled and licked his lips before resuming his position.

Jeff was lost in it now. The way the boy worked him over was something he hadn't had a lot of. As Adrian pulled off, jeff still wore a blush and could only nod as his words were lost in his pants. Whimpering as he was sucked on again, Jeff could feel the coiling in his stomach. "Adr...Adrian...close..." he whimpered out.

Adrian grunted in response, continuing in encouragement, his hand wrapping around the base of Jeff's cock, stroking what he could fit into his mouth and looking up at him with wide eyes.

Jeff didn't know if Adrian was okay with him but before he could pull out, he was coming down the boy's throat. His knees giving out a bit more. Jeff slowly sank to the floor, panting, his arm over his face that wore a deep blush.

Adrian groaned, swallowing back and grunting as he pulled back, his breathing heavy as he gasped, "Whoa..." He mumbled, wiping his face with the back of his hand and leaning back on his knees, "Are you...okay? Was that..? Was I okay? I..uhm." He chuckled nervously, "You're sexy." He smirked.

Jeff nodded there, his knees pulled to his chest the moment they could be. He worked to catch his breath and then couldn't help after tucking himself away to slip into Adrian's lap. It wasn't often he was quiet but for some reason, he just wanted to be held for a moment after that.

Adrian nodded, quiet as he pulled his arms around Jeff protectively, kissing his cheek and rubbing his back slowly, "I care about you." He whispered after a long pause, burying his face into the curve of Jeff's neck and kissing it gently.

Jeff blushed still, his arms wrapping around Adrian's neck to hold on time. "I care about you too." he whispered to him, shivers running down his spine from the kiss to his neck. "Do i get to stay tonight?" Asking but not pulling back from the way they sat.

Adrian nodded, "Yeah...if you wanted to." He whispered, closing his eyes, holding him close, "It'd be nice if you stayed." He added and smiled, it would be nice to have someone next to him for the entire night, that was something that he'd never done before. With anyone.

Jeff nodded, pulling back and looking to him now. "I do, yeah. I need to borrow some clothes though..I mean I have spare school clothes in my bag but nothing to sleep in." Smirking. "You wouldn't mind me in your sweats or something, would you?" Just imagining how Adrian would react to seeing Jeff in his clothes.

Adrian chuckled, nodding again, "I don't mind." He smiled and kissed Jeff's cheek before nudging him off his lap and getting up, moving across the room into the closet, "So...was I...okay?" he asked, turning back to Jeff with wide eyes.

Jeff pouted as Adrian got up to get him something to wear. He kicked away his jeans and let his jacket sit on the floor with them as he folded both. "yeah, you were. Don't worry." Standing up then, Jeff pulled his shirt over head, leaving him blushing and standing there in his boxers as he waited for sweats still.

Adrian grinned, checking Jeff out and nodding, "Okay, babe." He murmured and pulled a pair of sweats from the closet, tossing them to Jeff and pushing his hair back from his face, "Are you hungry? Do you want a drink or something?"

Jeff blushed under his look but didn't say anything. He thought he'd be red forever with the way Adrian looked at him. Slipping the pants on, jeff shrugged and tried to tighten them but they hung from one of his hips. "I could eat, yeah. When are your parents going to be home though?" Worried if they could get caught.

Adrian shrugged, "I don't know. They'll probably be back soon but...I could go grab us some shit?" He offered and moved back to Jeff, his arms pulling around Jeff's neck, "Or we could just...crawl into bed...keep that feeling going?"

Jeff stepped into his touch. His forehead resting against Adrian's. He liked their bubble and didn't want to leave it. Arms coming to hold the boy's waist, his eyes closed. "As you wish," he whispered to him. All Jeff was wanting was his touch and his kiss. He didn't care for more, just wanted to be close to him more than anything.

Adrian nodded, taking Jeff's hands, "Come on." He murmured and tugged him back over to the bed, climbing into it and grinning as he pulled back the covers for Jeff to join him, "Let's go to bed together then.."

Jeff held his hands, climbing under the blanket with him. Snuggling up, Jeff laid wish his head next to Adrian on the pillow. His fingers finding home in the boy's hair that he couldnt help but to play with. "Will you come to my dance competition?" asking him for the first time since they had started all of this. "You can stay back stage if you want, I just..I'd like it if you came and saw me dance."

Adrian settled contently as Jeff climbed into the bed, his arms around him closely and letting out a happy sigh, "Oh..." He mumbled and nodded, "Yes...Yeah, I could do that. You know you should be putting on private dance shows for me..." He whispered and grinned, "When is it?"

Jeff shook his head, hiding his face in Adrian's neck now. "You have to earn those mister Lawson." he teased him and shrugged. "I don't know the date yet, but its coming up soon." He commented to him and looked up to him slowly.

Adrian smiled, "Okay. Well count me in. I want to be there. With you. For you." He whispered, his fingers tracing up Jeff's body slowly, "So...uhm...if we were...a thing...what sort of stuff would we do together? Besides like sex...or hooking up?"

Jeff grinned to him. "Good." he whispered back, kissing his jaw softly. His body shivered under Adrian's touch, so gentle and so kind now. "Hmm well hand holding, going on dates, going to dances together, kissing in public and pretty much being the power couple of the Socs." he nodded with a grin. "I don't know...never really dated someone to know, what would you want to do?"

Adrian blushed, biting his lip, "Uh...I know I'd want to mark you up..." He whispered, "so that...like...everyone would know you were....mine." He looked down at their hands and sighed, "Sometimes I think about like...asking a girl out and..." He frowned, "Ugh, it's just...nothing about that feels right."

Jeff looked down at their hands then back to his eyes. "Does this feel right?" he asked to him, his eyes big and filled with the questions he held for the other boy. "And if you want to mark me, then do it. Can't say it was you, but you'll know, right?"

Adrian shrugged, fighting the urge to say something ignorant and licking his lips, "Yeah." He mumbled, "What if...just...you'd want me to mark you? What if like...Sebastian sees it or something?"

Jeff leaned up some on his elbow and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Let him see, he knows I'm not some super virgin and let him wonder. I won't tell him it was you and I don't care if he sees...but yeah, i like how it feels when you kiss my neck and nip it and all that." Cuddling up again to him.

Adrian nodded, kissing him back and closing his eyes, "I would take you dancing." He murmured after a long pause, "Like...to one of those fancy places...we'd drink wine and dance and whatever...it's be super gay. But uh...romantic maybe. I don't know anything about romance, honestly but...I don't know. I'd want to be the type of boyfriend that...made other guys jealous of you..."

Jeff hummed softly as Adrian spoke of what he'd do. He was very romantic, very sweet and so kind like this. Jeff couldn't help how he kept getting stuck on those thoughts about the other male. "I just want a boyfriend that only wants me and doesn't see the other boys that could want him because he has me." Jeff shrugged. "Crazy, right?"

Adrian turned to Jeff and shook his head, "Not crazy. You deserve that. With someone who can give that to you. I'm not gonna stand in the way of that." He mumbled, "But thanks for spending...time with me while you wait for that to happen."

Jeff wished he could say it, wished he could make Adrian see. He wanted that and if Adrian could give it to him, he'd get it a try, but it wasn't going to now. Jeff knew that, so he was settling for what he could get. Jeff smiled a bit, nuzzling his cheek. "So you gonna mark me up or what?" Trying to make things light again.

Adrian smirked, "Yeah." He mumbled, leaning into Jeff and nipping at his neck, "But don't blame me when every starts acting jealous...or when I do." He mumbled, pulling Jeff closer and sucking on his neck lightly.

Jeff licked his lips, exposing his neck a little more to Adrian. He couldn't help but giggling as Adrian talked about making other jealous. "Why would you be jealous if you're the one leaving the marks on my neck?" His brow raised, biting back a soft moan of pleasure.

Adrian chuckled, "I don't know...if they start seeing how sexy you can be...they'll try to steal you from me...huh?" He whispered, licking Jeff's neck lightly before pulling back and smiling, "Would you be jealous? If someone else was interested in me?"

Jeff rolled his eyes. He didn't think anyone would ever think that of him. He wasn't the attractive to others. "I don't think you need to worry about that." his tongue darting over his lips once more. Jeff looked at him, his brow furrowing. "I don't know...I mean I probably would but I don't know for sure." Jeff holding his cheek as he leaned up to kiss him softly, parting his lips for the other boy.

Adrian shook his head, kissing Jeff again despite disagreeing with him fully, letting his tongue slip past his own lips and into Jeff's, kissing him deeply with a soft moan, and shifting, climbing over him. "I think you're pretty amazing." He breathed softly, his lips moving against Jeff's.

Jeff kissed him back, his arms moving to wrap the boy's neck as they kissed. Breathing him in, Jeff wondered if he could ever give this up, give Adrian up with how it felt to have him like this. "I think you're partial." he murmured back in the kiss.

Adrian signed and nodded, "Maybe...a little." He whispered, pulling back and studying Jeff's face for a moment, "Thanks for coming over tonight." He spoke softly, "I really...like having you here."

Jeff looked up with a bit of a pout as he pulled from the kiss. His hands slipped up Adrian's bare chest with a smirk. "Well i like being here, I like being here with you." Jeff chewing on his lip a bit more. "Adrian, if you could have anything right now...what would you want?"

Adrian shrugged, sitting back as he thought, "I'd be...out of here...I guess. I'd be...out. I'd be...I guess...with...someone...special...maybe..if I was lucky enough." He mumbled, "What would you have?"

Jeff sat up on his elbows as he looked at Adrian as he spoke about what he'd want. "Anything? I'd want someone that wants to be with, supports me and is proud to be with me and maybe for all the stupid fighting in town to end..." Jeff shrugged.

Adrian nodded, "I mean the fighting will end when we get rid of the riff-raff..." He mumbled and kissed Jeff again, laying on his side next to him and pulling him close, "I'd ask you out. I'd hold your hand in the hall, and kiss you in front of Sebastian...tell him he was stupid for not seeing you in the way I do."

Jeff sighed some. He didn't see them that way but he wasnt about to argue. Kissing him back, Jeff looked to him and suddenly cuddled into his neck. "Why don't you?"

Adrian frowned, rubbing Jeff's back gently, "Because...the consequences of coming out are...why too high. And I'm scared." He spoke sincerely and shrugged his shoulders, "Plus I'm probably not good enough for you anyways."

Jeff bit his lips. "What if you don't though...we could, i don't know, be something and not tell anyone..." His eyes looking down then back into the blue eyes that he had come to like to see more and more. "Isn't it my choice who is good enough?"

Adrian furrowed his brows and chewed on his bottom lip, "You'd..date me?" He whispered, "Like...you'd date me? Now?" He asked, pulled away far enough to take in all of Jeff's face.

Jeff looked to him. He didn't say it, he didn't know if the words would form for him. So leaning in, he pressed a new, soft kiss to his lips. Jeff could only hope that it would tell Adrian enough to answer the questions for him. "I'm here, aren't I?" he finally whispered against his lips.

Adrian sighed, kissing Jeff back and shrugging, "You didn't answer my question, Jeff." He whispered, resting his forehead against the other's, "Would you wait...for me? Would you be with me...even if I was...not out?"

Jeff closed his eyes. Words were failing him so hard right now. "I'd wait...yeah, I'd be with you. " he whispered.

Adrian let out a breath and nodded, "Okay." He mumbled, pulling away and laying on his back, looking up at the ceiling for a moment in silence. It was a lot to take in, too much almost, but the thought of having a boyfriend, was overwhelming and honestly not something he'd ever thought he'd get the opportunity to have in his lifetime. "What if I...can't come out?"

Jeff rolled onto his back as Adrian asked him something that he had thought about as they talked all night. Would he be okay with that? Could he handle seeing his boyfriend flirt with girls and hide? Sighing some, Jeff bit his lip. "I don't know...I just know I like being here with you and I like you."

Adrian reached for Jeff's hand, holding it as he still looked up to the ceiling, "So..uhm...do you want...to go out with me, then?" He asked hesitantly, biting his lip and turning to face Jeff, a crooked smile crossing his lips.

Jeff looked down to their hands then back to his face. Biting his lip, Jeff nodded to him. Sure he didn't really want to stay in the closet forever but right now, right here, he was happy. He was happy as he held Adrian's hand and as he kissed him and as the boy held him. Coming out, all the details, they could figure it out later. Right now, he was happy.

Adrian nodded, "Yeah? Okay...good." he chuckled softly, turning towards him again and kissing him slowly, carefully, "Never thought I'd have a boyfriend." He mumbled and grinned again, "Never...thought it'd be you..."

Jeff kissed him back, holding his cheek as he spoke. "Me either...since you hate me." he whispered to him and kissed him once more. "What are you going to do at school?" Suddenly the idea of him being that guy with others around had fear surging through him.

Adrian sighed, "I...I don't know." He sat up, rubbing his face, "I don't want to..hurt you...I guess I never really did I just..." He let out a defeated breath, "I guess we just avoid each other at school?"

Jeff sighed some and nodded. "yeah, I can do that." he didnt' know how else they could make it work. They'd just avoid each other. Stay with their sides of the Soc circles. Smiling a bit, jeff looked to him. "We could sneak off during some lunches to see each other too, like to empty classroom."

Adrian nodded and smiled again, "Okay...I can live with that for now...can you?" He asked, leaning into Jeff and rubbing his back again gently.

Jeff smiled and nodded. "yeah, for now." he winked to him and pressing another kiss to his lips. "I'm still hungry though." Jeff pouted to him with puppy eyes.

Adrian chuckled, "Okay...I'll be right back." He murmured and kissed him again, pulling away and moving across the room, pulling on a hoodie and grinning, "You'll wait for me?" He asked quietly, suddenly unsure if he meant that about Jeff waiting for food or about their relationship and it's inevitable difficulties.

Jeff sat at his desk as he just finished showering from the day of cleaning and a late dance practice. He heard a noise he knew well. It was one that made him smirk and turn. He sat there in his sweats and looked to the other blonde that climbed through his window. "You know you can you use the door, Lawson. My parents aren't home and my siblings are asleep." Smirking even more to see Adrian's face. The boy was his bully, at least, to everyone else. Here in his room, they were...well they were something.

Adrian 's face peeked into a smirk as he climbed through the window, shrugging off his jacket casually and shaking his head, "The entire point of this is keeping it a secret." He reminded the blonde, his brow raising as he set his jacket on the bed and wandered into the familiar room as though he belonged there. "Miss me?" He cooed, turning back to face Jeff, because of course Jeff missed him, he was Adrian Lawson afterall, people were lucky when he decided to pay them any mind. And lately he'd been paying Jeff a special type of attention.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "You want me to answer that?" Chuckling as he shook his hair out and dared to walk over to the other boy. Without a word, he pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Nah, but if it makes you feel better, you can keep thinking I miss you. I mean, you do go out of your way to make my life hell at times." sitting on his bed and winking to Adrian as he motioned for the boy to join him there on the bed. "So wanna tell me why you're here?"

Adrian chuckled, "Oh come on. I think you do miss me when I'm gone. Or else...why do you keep letting me in here? Doesn't your window have a lock on it?" He challenged, albeit playful in intent as he smiled, his hand moving to Jeff's hip and giving it a squeeze before the boy pulled away and he followed, sitting next to Jeff and shrugging his shoulders. "A dance lesson?" He teased.

Jeff hummed some, shaking his head. "you are so full of yourself, you make Sebastian look tame." With Adrian sitting by him, Jeff didn't even think about as his fingers laced with the other boy's. Holding his hand, he chuckled. "Alright then, what kind of dance? Waltz? Hip hop? Ballet?" Teasing as well. He knew why the boy was there, it was the reason he was always there but that didn't mean Jeff wasn't going to make him say it if he wanted it.

Adrian snorted, "Oh look, you think I'm better at something than your precious Smythe." He murmured, again playful though a familiar tone of pettiness laced his voice, "I'll take that as a compliment." He added, a charming smile to follow that could erase all the bitterness in a heartbeat. "Grinding." He interrupted, his fingers between Jeff's as he leaned towards him, his eyes intent on Jeff's, "I missed you." He spoke sincerely, quiet as he inched closer still.

Jeff rolled his eyes. "He's not that precious, just like him, alright?" His brow raised, knowing the other knew and he always seem to get a little bitter about it. Jeff wanted to ask but he didn't, knowing he shouldn't push Adrian so much. Though his anger always seemed to fade around Jeff it felt like. "Take it then, you need it." Winking in a tease. As the boy mentioned grinding Jeff blushed, leaning in some too. "Oh yeah? You gonna show me then?"

Adrian nodded, "Right, right. Still wondering why? He's such an asshole." He murmured, though his own feelings towards Sebastian Smythe were wilding conflicting and confusion, to the point where he wasn't really even sure how he felt about the boy. He hated it. He swallowed it - like he did with most emotions. "Does he do this....to you?" He asked, his free and moving to Jeff's cheek, stroking it gently as he leaned in, closing the gap between them and kissing him slowly. "No." He mumbled, "Only I do."

Jeff chuckled. "He's the asshole?" His brow raising again. "Says the boy that like to throw me against lockers just because I'm out." He murmured. Kissing him, jeff melted a bit. Adrian was a good kisser and Jeff had kissed his share of boys before. "Thats because I don't let him kiss me, I don't want to be another boy to him." murmuring back as he leaned back in to kiss Adrian again.

Adrian groaned, "Yeah...you want me to say sorry?" He quipped unapologetically and shook his head, "How many guys do you think he has on the hook? You...and how many others? That's who you want? I may be...angry but at least I'm not..sleazy." He pulled back after the kiss, licking his lips and letting out a soft sigh. This was stupid. Why did he even care who Jeff liked? It wasn't like he like Jeff, like that. And even if - even if he did - which he totally didn't - it wasn't like there was anything to be done about it. He WASN'T gay. This was just...a phase. An experiment. A SECRET. And it always would be. So it was stupid of him to make a big deal out of any of it. He knew that, but it still made his blood boil when he thought about Jeff liking Sebastian. For now he'd push off the lingering questions of 'why'.

Jeff sighed some. He didn't respond, this was what he had meant. He didn't want to be another boy to Sebastian, so until he saw what he was, he wasn't about to give him anything. With Adrian, sure he got hurt some but alone in his room, the boy wasn't someone he didn't have to be. He was kind, even in an asshole away. The way he went back and forth though some times left jeff spinning like right now as he sighed and pulled back again, scooting away from him some to give him space.

Adrian settled, closing his eyes and letting out another sigh before he opened them again and turned back to Jeff, "Sorry." He spoke quietly and laid back, shifting onto his side and propping his head up, "So..." He hesitated and chewed on his lower lip, "Should we get to it, or do you want my life's story?"

Jeff looked back to him and shrugged. "I don't care, you're here and normally that means you need something and someone not to judge, so I'm here for you." Shifting to lay next to him and caressing his cheek softly. "So like i said, what are you here for?" Letting him just relax a bit. Jeff would never tell or judge Adrian. He didn't have it in him to be like that.

Adrian nodded, his hand moving back to Jeff's hip and giving it a squeeze, "I just...wanted to see you." He whispered, sincere for a moment as he shifted closer, "It's been a minute and..." He sighed, "I felt bad about earlier. I didn't mean to shove you like that I just..." He shrugged, there was no good excuse for his behaviour. He was just angry. All the time. Sometimes he couldn't control what he did.

Jeff felt a buzz go up his side as Adrian touched his hip. "Then just say you want to see me, Lawson." he teased, moving in closer and kissing his neck where the boy liked it. "its fine, i was only teasing you. I wish you could just come out, i think you'd feel better but I get it, I do." Moving back to lay back and beckon Adrian in closer. '

Adrian nodded, glancing down, his mind was always a stormy place and he never really could sort through it, through all the feelings that constantly battled. "I just..." He hesitated, his body following Jeff, especially after the way the other kissed his neck and he hovered over him, ducking his head to meet Jeff's lips in a slow kiss. "I can't come out...."

Jeff kissed him back, nodding some. His hand held the boy's cheek. "I know you can't, well at least I know you feel you can't. I won't make you." But if he wanted more with Jeff, he'd have to. If the boy ever did want more. His thoughts coming into his mind, but he let them all go then. He just wanted to help the boy, let him have a judgement free time.

Adrian shook his head, "It's not that easy. You can come out and your parents won't disown me. I'd be a fucking Greaser if I came out. I'd be on my ass." He groaned, "Can we just not...do this tonight?" He mumbled, his lips against Jeff's again, "Come on."

Jeff sighed but nodded. He wasn't one to push someone when he knew it was hard. Smiling softly "Come on what? You still haven't told me or showed me what you want to do tonight and are you staying tonight or are you going to leave me again?" Caressing his cheek, fingers running through the boy's hair with a grin and a wink.

Adrian groaned, "Why?" He whispered, moving to straddle Jeff's hips and staring down at him, "Why do you make me say it everytime? That's not fair. You know why I'm here. We're not...friends...not really. We're just...this. Whatever this is."

Jeff chuckled as Adrian moved over him. "its the least you can do, plus its rather fun to see you all worked up because i ask you to tell me before I do much more then this with you. You're right, we're not friends...pretty sure you don't even know me that well, at least with my clothes on. So if you want it, do it."

Adrian huffed and rolled his hips against Jeff's, "Shut up." He whined, moving closer, kissing Jeff again, "I wanted to be here with you. I wanted to kiss you, touch you...feel you." He finally spoke gently, his hands pushing up the front to Jeff's shirt, moving up his body, "Happy?"

Jeff groaned as their hips met, knowing what the other boy was packing. Jeff kissed back, grinning. "Hmm see, was that so hard to say?" he teased. Pulling his own shirt off, jeff tugged at Adrian's to make him lose it as well. "Working on it." he joked, pulling the boy down to kiss him again, this time not letting him pull back as the kiss grew. His hips pushing up to grind against the other boy.

Adrian shrugged, "Maybe not, but you sure are...hard." He mumbled and grinned, "Fuck." He sighed, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the ground before he leaned into Jeff, kissing him deeply and grunting, rolling his hips again, pressing his chest against the other and quickly asserting his dominance as he grew more and more breathless.

Jeff smirked. "As are you." Knowing how the other boy could be. With their bare chests pressed together, Jeff tugged at his locks. He moaned into the kiss, meeting each of his presses of their hips together. His heart racing from the feeling of it all, so much going on. This was the fun part, fighting for dominance but knowing he'd lose as he flipped Adrian on his back and straddled him, pinning the boy's hands down as they kissed still.

Adrian shifted, laying back and smirking up at Jeff, "Nice try..." He whispered, breathless and needy as he moved his hands to Jeff's slender hips, giving them a squeeze, "What are we doing here tonight?" He asked, a raised brow as he held Jeff's hips in place, lifting his own hips to meet them in hopes of relieving some pressure.

Jeff purred at his touch to his hip. He shouldn't like it as much as he did but he did like it. "You tell me, I'm all for making out with you if thats what you think you need tonight." Jeff pushing the boy's hair out of his eyes and leaning down again to kiss him softly. "Its all on you, you know that."

Adrian shrugged, "I need more than making out. But fuck if you'll give that to me...right? Saving it for someone...special?" He rolled his eyes, there was a time he'd thought he'd save his virginity for someone special, but he'd long since given it away to some random girl, just to prove to himself and everyone else he wasn't gay. Even though he was gay. That sort of thing stopped mattering to him. "Come on...we have fun right? Let's just do it..."

Jeff sighed some and shook his head. "You can't sway me on that, I'll get you off but there is no way you're fucking me. I meant what I said, Adrian, only for someone I'm with, not just a hook up." He wanted his first time to matter, to be something he looked back at and liked not just something for fun. "Yeah, we do have fun, so lets have fun without your cock in my ass."

Adrian shrugged, rolling off Jeff and letting out a sigh, "Yeah fucking Smythe...got it. Everybody's dream guy." He mumbled and looked away, "I'm gonna go." He added and sat up, "This is fucking stupid. I'm not gay. I don't know what I'm doing here."

Jeff grabbed his hand and pulled him to stop. "Did I say Sebastian, no. I said someone that is with me, someone that is my boyfriend." Sighing, he let go and handed him his shirt. "Right you're not gay and you were never hear. I know the drill."

Adrian shook his head, "You didn't have to say it." He moved to his feet, standing over the bed looking down at Jeff, "It's not a secret. You're waiting for him." He shrugged, pulling on his t-shirt and pushing his hair out of his face, "It's not like I'll ever have a fucking reason to come out. So what's the point of blowing up my entire life?"

Jeff bit his lip. He held back the words in his head that he always held back. "I'm not though...I never have been." He pulled his knees to his chest and looked up to Adrian. He wanted to say it, to tell him to come out and maybe this could change, they could be something that seemed to be driving them together. "Maybe it would help you with your anger some...and you'd get to be you, finally." He whispered, giving up the fight to make him stay. Adrian wanted to go, he knew better then to stop him.

Adrian scoffed, "Yeah...right. Be me. As if anyone fucking wants that." He sighed, "I'm angry because everyone around me is a fucking moron, Jeff. You're all sitting around kissing Smythe's ass when...fuck if he isn't an asshole with nothing to offer the world except the fact that his dad is the fucking Mayor." He shook his head, "I'm going places. You'll all see. I'm the only person around that actually has ambition. It's why I can't come out because I'm gonan fucking be someone. And that's all me. Not my parents. Whatever. Fuck if I care what anyone thinks."

Jeff looked to him. "I have dreams too, ones that will get me out of here. Ones that will happen because I won't give up, so its not just you that has ambitions, Adrian. Its not and I'm not kissing his ass, you think you know but you don't know how I am with him. " Jeff shook his head. "Are you staying or going..." he bit his lip, hoping he'd stay.

Adrian sighed, "Whatever you think he is when you're alone, he's lying." He spoke weakly and shook his head, "He's not a good person. He's probably not even good in bed." Adrian shrugged his shoulders again and looked away, "I don't know..." He sat on the edge of the bed, "I should probably go."

Jeff took the chance as he sat to unfold himself and sit closer to the older boy. His hand slipped into Adrian as he used his free hand to turn his face. "What I think about him doesn't matter right now, alright? I've told you, when you're here i don't think about him. I think about you and how I can help you."

Adrian looked to Jeff and licked his lips, staring back at him and hesitating, "It does matter." He spoke weakly and looked down at their hands, "Whatever." He whispered, giving Jeff's hand a squeeze, "Can we just hang out? Not really in the mood anymore..."

Jeff looked to their hands and back up. "yeah, sure but if I'm shirt less, so are you." He smiled to him, kissing his cheek. Getting up, Jeff put on a movie he knew the boy would like, sitting with him once more, jeff moved Adrian's arm around him as he shut the lights off to just enjoy the night.

Adrian nodded, letting out a soft chuckle and pulling off his shirt as Jeff got up. "Fair is fair I guess." He mumbled, settling against the other and pressing his lips against Jeff's shoulder gently. "Thanks..."