#p. 107

« Tu me tues peu à peu. Ah, ma jolie souveraine, pourquoi faire mourir ce qui veut vivre pour toi seulement ? Tu n’as jamais aimé comme je t’aime, ou tu serais plus clémente. Pourquoi toi qui ne blesserais pas une fleur blesserais-tu une âme ? Au théâtre voyant une pièce comme ma vie tu en pleurerais, mais parce que ma peine est vraie et muette et sans soupirs harmonieux, cela te laisse distraite et froide. Pour toi-même tends les mains vers celle qui veut venir à toi, ne sois point cruelle, car l’indifférence en pouvoir, c’est de la cruauté. »

‘In her late teens Pauline began using a hypnotic drug, chloral hydrate, to help her sleep. She overdosed at least once. Interpreting this as a suicide attempt, Mary [Tarn] tried to have her committed to an insane asylum. The case ended up in court. Pauline won, became a legal ward of the state, moved from her mother’s home, and was assigned a guardian who apparently treated her with fairness and generosity. In a tribute to the strength of the mother-daughter bond, Pauline and Mary continued trying to get along despite their fractious and at times hateful relationship. To please her mother, Pauline overcame her contempt for the idea of being “launched” into a society she thoroughly disliked, and in May 1897 was officially presented at court to Queen Victoria.’