TT: Hey, bro. TT: It's me. TT: Your bro. TT: You know, the one from the future. TT: I'm just getting ahold of you to let you know that Roxy and I-- that's Rose's daughter, by the way-- are formulating a plan to come back. TT: The game was a dead end, and our friends are in danger. TT: Not to mention you and Rose, too. TT: You might think it's too dangerous, but we're adults now, and we're arguably in more danger here anyway. TT: We want to help you take down the Batterwitch once and for all. TT: And then... TT: ... TT: Jesus, this is contrived as fuck. TT: Yeah, that was terrible TT: You're tellin' me. TT: I bet I could do better. TT: Bullshit. TT: "Hello, Dave. It is I, your younger brother, whom you sent into the future to protect from )(er Imperious Horrendousness. Kind of a shitty plan, by the way. She still exists in the future and is worse actually. Also she kills you. So I'm coming back to also get killed by her." TT: Dude, that's worse. TT: Oh, no, that wasn't my own attempt. TT: I was pointing out how awful you sounded. TT: Here's what I would really say: TT: TT: TT: TT: Something broken, bro? TT: You're saying jack shit. TT: Exactly. TT: You think I shouldn't say anything to him? TT: Really? TT: *Really?* TT: What's there to say? TT: If you really have to notify him, just give him a brief lowdown of the whole ordeal. TT: "Coming back, friends in danger, see you soon, bro. - Dirk" TT: Save all the emotions and complicated explanations for the reunion. TT: He'll get the gist. TT: ... TT: You know, I fuckin' hate it when you make some semblance of sense. TT: Surely, I am certain. TT: It just feels wrong *not* explaining everything to him beforehand. TT: Who's to say he'll even beliebe me? TT: ..."Beliebe"? TT: I don't think he's a Belieber, bro. TT: What reason does he have to trust me? Trust that it's *really* me and not just some rando pulling sick pranks? TT: And not the cool kind of sick. TT: The disgusting kind of sick. TT: Hate to say it, but I guess you've got a point, Brotractor X. TT: Christ, what kind of fucked up world is this where we agree with each other? TT: Horrifying, I know. TT: Dave'll probably want proof that you are who you say you are, yeah. TT: Luckily though, we have a fuckin' hoard of it. TT: Videos, diaries, messages. TT: Some of which he hasn't even written yet from his perspective. TT: Our only drawback is that he's an even more paranoid fuck than you are. TT: I'll try not to take offense to that. TT: And frankly, I don't blame him. TT: Probably the only way to prove without a doubt in his mind that you are you, TT: Is to just say nothing and roll up. TT: He'll fuckin' kill me first if I say nothing at all, man. TT: And then I'll take over your rotting corpse and pilot it myself for the rest of time. TT: My master plan is finally coming to fruition. TT: Dude. TT: Now is not the time for this shit. TT: Just leave him a short, sweet message roughly 10 minutes before you show up so that he'll have enough time to read it and know not to kill you on sight. TT: What if he's not there? TT: More time for him to see it and not kill you. TT: Still, I want to have an actual conversation with the man before I break and enter into his home. TT: Not breaking and entering if you never break or enter and it's also your home. TT: You know what I mean. TT: See, this is why you should listen to me more often. TT: Your fragile human emotions are getting in the way of logic. TT: You *want* to talk to him even though it'll definitely backfire. TT: I get it, but it's still a horrible idea. TT: Shut the fuck up man, the only horrible idea here was asking for your input in the first place. TT: Not like I can stop you, but you have my take on it. TT: A take I know you share, because I know how you think. TT: You think like me, because I'm you. TT: This conversation is over now. TT: See if I ever ask for your advice again. TT: You will. TT: Later, bro. TT: Later, jackass.
