Ozhawk here, Alkeni. I saw Andartha reblog something about you and Anuna and came by both your blogs to check it out. As someone who frankly has a fairly low opinion of both of you, I have to say that Anuna has the right of it. You were the one attacking her opinions, not the other way around. She asked you to stop and you didn't. Your trolling behaviour got you blocked by me, and now it's got you blocked by someone respected within SWW. I'd suggest you take a long hard look at your choices.
I didnāt attack her opinions, I disagreed with them and the way she was presenting them. Nor did I say she attacked mine, per se.What I did was reblog a post OPād by someone else and I didnāt reblog it from them. They asked me to stop talking to THEM about it (and specifically to stop reblogging their posts), and that is what I did. I donāt see how IĀ ādisrespected her boundariesā.Ā What exactly in particular did I do that isĀ ātrollingā, here? (Or, for that matter, with you. I just thought you blocked me because I was rather nasty in the post that precipitated. Because I was, Iāll admit, and largely unjustifiably so) Youāre using the term incorrectly, I think. Trolling is being a jackass for the intent of sparking negative reactions because they thrive on it (see āfeeding the trollā). Iām not doing that. I might be being a jackass - I didnāt think I was that bad in the post in question, but it is a subjective thing - and thatās an ongoing thing I work on, but I wasnāt trying to spark negative reactions.Ā If enjoying the cut and thrust of debate and discussion and arguement and wanting to respond to particular points made by a person isĀ ātrollingā now, then weāve really expanded the definition.Now, this isnāt to say I couldnāt have done things better, having had time to step back from it and having talked it out with people, there are a number of things Iād like to have done differently that would have been better and moreĀ respectful of Anunaās wishes (though I still donāt see how I was disrespectful of her wishes, but please, feel free to explainĀ it to me. Please. Seriously). Iām not saying my hands are clean here, which is why I explicitly asked people if I was being unreasonable - Iām hardly the best judge of my own reasonability - no one is of their own reasonability.Ā What I do have to wonder is why you felt the need to step into this discussion. As you say, you have low opinions of both of us (I didnāt know you stillĀ had specific issues with me, and I did apologize some time ago, though I grasp you probably never saw it, having blocked me and all. The Apology.) Since I have you here, and since I presume youāre going to check my blog at some point in the near future to read my reply, Iām going to say it again. Iām sorry for what I said to you, how I said it and the way I said it. I didnāt have to make that post and I really shouldnāt have. I realized that not long after the blocking, though it took me some time to decide to make the apology post and to find the best way to make that apology.Iām sorry. What I said was entirely uncalled for. Whether or not you decide to accept the apology or whatnot is up to you. I was very nasty and you donāt have to unblock me even if you did accept it in whole or in part. I would like to at least get rid of any bad blood, because I actually do respect you and think youāre most of the time a pretty damn decent person and probably one of the better people in the fandom, overall.What I really donāt get is why youāre on Anon. I didnāt block you, at least as far as I can remember, because I have no real problem with you. Can you not send non-anon asks to people youāve blocked? Is that a part of Tumblr? Iāve never tried, so I wouldnāt know. My first thought would be this isnāt actually you, but this does sound like you - a largely civil post with a style and wording that sounds like you and the way you write, so probably you. You can do Anon if you want, I suppose. I just donāt get it.
I was not attacking Anuna, and at no point in our earlier discussions was I setting out to shame her or make her apologize for having the opinions she had. I made an effort to respect the boundaries sheād set, and when she blocked me and made unfounded (from my perspective) accusations against me about what I did and why I did it, I then responded to them.Ā Youāre entitled to your take on what happened, and again, I may well have been a jackass there. But I wasnāt trolling, and thereās something⦠really unnessarily passive agressive about suggesting I take aĀ ālong hard look at my choicesā, like I chose to have an abrasive personality and have poor social graces and not be able to read people very well. Trust me, I didnāt. It is a constantĀ struggle to be polite to people and its a struggle I donāt always succeed at - Its a struggle to be polite and civil here in this post and whether or not Iām suceeding is subjective.I would loveĀ to not have so much trouble interacting with other people. I would loveĀ to not alienate people when I canāt control myself. I would loveĀ to not be a jackass to people so much. Its not something I set out to do. Its just part of me, and Its a constant struggle on my part to keep it under control. I didnāt choose it. I donāt want to be like this, but I donāt have a magic solution. Iāve been working at it for years, and Iāve made a great deal of progress (if you think I haveĀ āTrolling waysā now, Iād hate to hear what you think of what I was like during High School, for example) but I havenātĀ āfixedā my aspergers and my basic personality and I never will. (And no, Iām not hiding behind my AS - It is my responsibility to try and control it and manage the way it affects the way I interact with people). And no matter how much progress I make, there is alwaysĀ risk of backsliding or just not keeping myself under control. We all have that sort of problem, of not being able to restrain onself at times.Ā So⦠well, my reply has kind of lost a central focus now, so Iāll stop here. Again, for what its worth Ozhawk, Iām sorry and I wish you all the best. I really do. May you have much inspiration and countless reviews.AlkeniĀ