The Turn and The Flame - Richelle Mead (The Story of the Ozera's)
Tasha Ozera didnāt like dresses. Or high heels. Or meaningless conversation. Really, she didnāt like anything to do with fancy parties. She knew, however, that there was a game to play, and sheād learned how to play it long ago.
āTasha, please stop sulking. Itāll give you wrinkles.ā
That, unsurprisingly, came from Tashaās sister-in-law, Moira. Moira Ozeraāformerly Moira Szelskyāhad been a celebrated beauty back in her day. She was still beautiful. Tasha could never forget Moira and Lucasās wedding and how everyone in the ballroom had held a collective breath when the two of them whirled around on the dance floor. Tasha, only seven, had stood with the other awestruck guests and felt certain that no couple could ever be more dazzling than her brother and his bride.
Tasha trudged barefoot through the living room, uncaring that the hem of her sparkling gown dragged along the floor, and flounced onto the sofa. āIām not sulking. Iām just thinking.ā
Moira paused in front of an antique mirror framed in brass vines. She smoothed a wisp of chestnut hair back into place and pursed her lips to check if she should reapply her lipstick. She decided she should.
Observing, Tasha couldnāt help but think that she hadnāt put even half as much care into her appearance as Moira had into hers. And Moira wasnāt even going to a party. She, Lucas, and Christian were simply driving back to their country house tonight.
āWell then, little sister, I hope youāre thinking about how youāll be the star of the ball tonight.ā That was Lucas, striding in with his easy smile. He set a suitcase down on the floor and kissed his wifeās cheek. āI remember when we were at the Summerās End Ball. You wouldnāt believe how many of us were desperately following Moira around, willing to do anything just for a smile. Or even a second glance.ā
Tasha could believe it because sheād heard this story many times, but she smiled anyway. Lucas hadnāt been this upbeat in a while, and she liked the change. āI donāt think thatāll happen to me tonight,ā she replied. āBut Iāll try not to embarrass the family name.ā
Lucas winked. āThatās all we can hope for.ā
āNo,ā said Moira, turning from the mirror. āThat is not all we can hope for. We should hope that sheāll get engaged. Or, at the very least, that some young man from a prestigious family might visit once in a while instead of those bohemians who are always stopping by. And why arenāt you wearing your shoes, Tasha?ā
The familyās two guardians entered the room just then, carrying the last of the luggage. Tasha didnāt like seeing them relegated to bellhops, but she knew theyād both die before uttering a word of complaint.
āEverythingās ready,ā said Nolan. āThe carās out front, and then weāll meet up with Guardian Locke and his car at the gate. Your feederās waiting there as well.ā
āI donāt know why we need two cars or a borrowed guardian,ā said Moira. āIt seems like a waste.ā
Lucas frowned as well. āReally, weāll be fine. Send Locke somewhere else.ā
āWeāre just looking out for your safety, Lady Moira,ā replied Vinh in his quiet, respectful way. āA nighttime drive is dangerous, and Guardian Locke happens to have an assignment nearby. Heāll remain with you at the house until Lady Tasha and I can join you tomorrow.ā
āYouāre staying here instead of Nolan?ā asked Lucas, his tone mild. A very slight furrowing of his brow was the only sign of his displeasure.
Tasha stood up and quickly said, āIf youāre so worried about it, Moira, just wait until tomorrow. Then we can all leave together.ā As sheād hoped, it deflected the conversation away from Vinh.
āDriving in daylight is always safer,ā added Nolan diplomatically. āIt wouldnāt be difficult to change our plans.ā
āNo, no,ā said Moira, with more insistence than Tasha thought was needed. āNothingās changing. I want to be back home tonight. Iām tired of Court.ā
āTonight it is, then.ā Lucas glanced around. āWhereās Christian?ā
Moira sighed. āWhy is he always skulking away? And why canāt anyone ever keep track of him?ā
Vinhās face remained neutral, but Tasha could see the amusement sparkling in his eyes. āIāll find him.ā
A couple minutes later, Vinh returned with Christian. At nine years old, the boy was a miniature version of his father, sporting the black hair and pale blue eyes shared by so many Ozeras, including Tasha. Normally quiet and introspective, Christianās face was alight with glee as he clung to the tall guardianās back in a piggyback ride and then was gently deposited next to his parents. Vinh immediately straightened up and became his proper self once more.
āI donāt want to go out to the house,ā said Christian. āItās boring. I want to go back to school. Or stay here with Aunt Tasha and see the ball. Theyāre lighting fireworks when itās done!ā
Tasha grinned. āYou want to be my date tonight? Youāll probably be the best company there.ā
āTasha, you need to be more serious about all this,ā Moira scolded. āYouth and beauty are fleeting. You take them for granted now, but one day youāll wish you could hold on to them forever.ā
Lucas put an arm around her and walked her toward the door. āLeave her alone, dear. Itās not important now. The rest of us need to goāand yes, Christian, that includes you. To the country house. Not the ball.ā
Tasha hugged her nephew goodbye, laughing when he complained about the prickly crystals on her dress. Moira was already getting in the car, directing the guardians on where to set the luggage and ascertaining that the feeder would ride with her. Lucas wrapped Tasha in a hug and then regarded her with a look that was equal parts affection and sorrow.
āCan we talk more about St. Croix when I see you tomorrow?ā she asked eagerly.
He hesitated. āAh, sure. For now ⦠try to have fun, little sister. And I hope ⦠I hope when you look back on tonight, youāll remember how much I love you. How much we all love you.ā
āItās just another party, Luke,ā she said, puzzled at his shift in demeanor. But then, Lucas had been behaving strangely for the last few months, his moods often darkening without warning. Two of his old classmates had died unexpectedly, one by Strigoi and one in a skiing accident. The two deaths were completely opposite in cause, but theyād hit her brother hard. Sheād often find him looking at old pictures and getting caught up in philosophical discussions about mortality. She worried about him and hoped relaxing in the country would do him some good.
When the car finally left, Tasha reluctantly put on her silver high-heeled shoes and locked the door to her familyās town house. The Summerās End Ball was being held on the opposite side of Court, and even in her uncomfortable shoes, Tasha didnāt mind the walk on such a warm and breezy night. She and Vinh matched each otherās steps, both quiet but at ease in the otherās company as they strolled along one of the many tree-lined paths that zigzagged among the buildings of the expansive Royal Court. With its venerable architecture and grassy courtyards, it resembled a university more than a sanctuary for living vampires, but that was exactly how the Moroi wanted it. It attracted less outside attention.
āI think itāll rain later,ā said Tasha. There were other Moroi and dhampirs out tonight, and it wouldnāt do for a young royal lady to speak even remotely informally with her guardian.
Vinh glanced up and took note of the scattered clouds drifting across the stars and moon. āI think youāre right, but it may hold off until the ball ends. If it doesnāt, Iāll come back and get an umbrella.ā
āYou donāt need to trek through the rain for me. No oneās going to hold you accountable if I get a little wet. Itās not going to bother me that much.ā
āIād hold myself accountable if anything bothered you at all.ā
A rush of heat swept over her, and she fidgeted with her bracelet so she wouldnāt have to respond. It happened all the time with him. Just a few words or a small look, and she became flustered in the most wonderful way. It used to embarrass her. She used to try to ignore it. After all, a Moroi of her station shouldnāt think of a dhampir that way, especially now that they were out of school and in the real world. Except ⦠every once in a while, sheād see him watching her in a way that made her think she wasnāt the only one who had trouble letting go of their past.
The Summerās End Ball took place in the palace, a building that matched the Courtās others on the outside but contained all the grandeur and decadence of the Moroiās glorious history. That was part of what made this such a big event. The queen herself hosted it, and only royals attended. Ostensibly, it was to celebrate the waning of summer and the approach of fallāmeaning longer nights and shorter days. Everyone knew, though, it was a chance for young, eligible royals to be paraded around one another. Engagements often followed in subsequent weeks.
Vinh held out his hand to Tasha when they reached the steps to the palace entrance. Tasha accepted it and lifted her skirt with her other hand. That small touch of their fingers was the only contact they ever had now, but it was everything to Tasha.
āThank you, Vinh,ā she said when she let go.
Inside, the ballroom had become a fantasyland of colors and flowers. Real plants and trees filled the space, and glittering, star-shaped lights on the ceiling cast rainbow patterns on the party below. The guests themselves rivaled the lavish decor, with everyone seeming to try to outdo one another. Tashaās simply cut silver-and-blue dress was one of the tamer ones.
Around the sides of the room, mixed among the tropical splendor, guardians stood at attention, unmoving and identical in black suits and white shirts. They blended in with one another and the roomāas was intended. But not Vinh. Tasha knew exactly where he was no matter where she went.
A lot of the royals sheād graduated with at St. Vladimirās were here, as well as Moroi from other schools or those whoād received their education at Court. They all sized one another up, checking out both prospective mates and possible rivals.
Despite her earlier flippancy with Lucas, Tasha wasnāt immune to the role she played in her family. The Ozeras were one of the twelve royal houses, with a lineage and history honored throughout the Moroi world. No one in her family would force her to do anything she didnāt want, but she knew her friendships and romances could all affect her familyās standing and how they navigated the complex battlefield of Moroi politics. She wanted to do the right thingātruly. She worked her way through the party, speaking to as many important people as she could, dancing with young men who could be advantageous matches. She smiled. She made all the pleasant, demure conversations a royal young lady was expected to.
But it felt hollow. There was no one she really connected with, and her heart wasnāt in her words. It must have shown to others because once, while passing a group of elderly Moroi whoād come to observe the āyoungsters,ā she overhead a man say, āHave you seen that up-and-coming Ozera girl? Davidās daughter, God rest his soul. They havenāt put out a beauty like that in yearsāand theyāre a good-looking bunch. But sheās just so ⦠odd.ā
Tasha started to smile and then felt guilty. She needed to try harder. She needed to stop being odd, whatever that meant.
āTasha? Where have you been?ā
Jacob Zeklos, another St. Vladimirās alum, stepped into her path and handed her a flute of champagne.
āTonight?ā she asked.
āNo. All summer. This is supposed to be our time to party and relax before we go on to grown-up life.ā
āIāve been here sometimes. At our estate other times.ā She shrugged. āMostly, Iām just spending time with my family.ā
āYou can hang out with them anytime. But this? The prime of our lives?ā He raised his own glass high, sloshing the contents, and she wondered how much champagne heād had tonight. āThis wonāt last. Nobody stays young forever, and we should enjoy it. My familyās going to Bucharest next month. Come with us.ā
Tashaās interest was momentarily piqued. Her last visit to Romania had been as a child, and she was curious to see it through more mature eyes. āAny reason? Or just taking in the galleries and castles?ā
āOnly one castleāwe never have to leave. One of my cousins is getting married and hosting a whole week of festivities. Party after party. Old World luxury. Unspeakable decadence.ā He grinned, confirming rumors sheād heard about him getting his canines filed into narrower points. It looked ridiculous. āYou wonāt believe what they get the feeders to do.ā
āThank you, but I canāt. Iām trying to talk Lucas into letting me go snorkeling in St. Croix next month.ā
āSt. Croix? Like in the Caribbean?ā He wrinkled his nose in disgust. āBut itās so sunny there.ā
The sun was one of the reasons why Lucas was being obstinate, as was the fact that the group wasnāt royal. They were some of Tashaās ābohemianā friends whom Moira thought were so unworthy. Tasha didnāt need her brotherās permission exactly, but she did need his money since he held control of their inheritance.
āItās worth it,ā she said. āThere are some amazing reefs and sea life there.ā
Jacob still looked baffled. āDo you want to be a marine biologist or something?ā
āNo. I just want to see it.ā
āWhy?ā
āBecause itās there. Because itās something in the world I havenāt experienced yet.ā It was obvious this conversation was going nowhere, and Tasha searched for an escape. āExcuse meāI see my uncle and need to say hello. Good talking to you.ā
She hurried away before Jacob could stop her and waved a hand of greeting to Ronald Ozera. He wasnāt actually her uncle, but he was one of the oldest and most respected members of the Ozera clan. It was an informal custom among royals to call all older relatives āauntā or āuncle,ā just as peers often referred to each other as ācousin.ā
āTasha.ā Ronald kissed her on the cheek. āYouāre a vision. Iāve been hearing your praises sung all night. Did I just see you talking to Jacob Zeklos?ā
A knowing glint shone in the older manās eyes. He was as bad as Moira. āYes.ā
āHeās a fine-looking young fellow, isnāt he? And his fatherās building up quite a lot of influence among the Zekloses.ā
āYou donāt need to do any matchmaking for me. I donāt want to make any hasty decisions.ā
It was no secret in the Ozera clanāor probably in any otherāthat Ronald had his eye on the throne. It wasnāt going to be vacant anytime soon, but he believed in building connections and alliances well in advance of the complicated selection process monarchs endured. She might only be his distant cousin, but she was still an Ozera and therefore of use.Ā Like a tool, she thought.
āOf course, of course,ā Ronald said. āIn fact, it might be a good idea for you to wait a while for marriage. Maybe ⦠several years.ā
Tasha didnāt trust the oh-so-casual tone in his voice. āUncle, what are you suggesting?ā
āNothing at all. Just trying to help you out. But did you notice Eric Dragomir is here tonight?ā
Tasha followed Ronaldās nod to a cluster of people speaking with Queen Tatiana. Eric was easy to pick out. Their family, like the Ozeras, tended to have distinct featuresāfor the Dragomirs, it was platinum hair and green eyes.
āHe doesnāt get out very much,ā she noted.
āIndeed. He keeps his family closeāwhich is understandable.ā
Yes, it was. Eric and his two children were the only Dragomirs left, which was astonishing compared to the tangle of cousins in all the other houses. There were dozens and dozens of Ozeras.
āHeās married,ā Tasha pointed out, unsure of where Ronald was going with this.
āYes, but his son isnāt.ā
She turned to him incredulously. āHis son is twelve years old!ā
āWhich is why I said you should wait several years. Once heās a young man, Iām sure youād hit it off wonderfully, and who wouldnāt be charmed by your loveliness? Rhea Dragomir is half Ozera, and weāve got Dragomirs in our treeātheyād love to make a match that can boost their bloodline.ā
Tasha shook her head in amazement and groped for a polite response. After all, an elder member of the family deserved respect. āThat is ⦠an interesting suggestion.ā
āItās a very reasonable suggestion. Ericās influence is staggering. He doesnāt have to get the consensus of his house to push his opinions into the councilāhe is his house. Heās their de facto council member.ā He paused at that and frowned. It was another well-known fact that Ronald hoped to be elected as the Ozera council representative. Currently, another family member held that position. āHeād be a powerful ally for anyone hoping to seize the throneāwhich, of course, we hope Queen Tatiana will remain on for a long, long time.ā
āProbably for the rest of our lives. She doesnāt look like sheās going anywhereāever.ā
āWell, I hope she doesnāt. Truly. But she is much older than me, and thereās no point in wasting time while I wait out natural causes. Now, letās go over there and say helloājust so youāre on Ericās radar.ā
Fury flared in Tasha at Ronaldās presumptuous tone. Just like that, he expected her to jump at his command, to play a role in his convoluted quest for power. He could call her a vision and laud her loveliness all he wanted, but her real value was in what she could offer him. She wanted to call him out on his selfishness and very explicitly let him know how insulting she found his treatment of her, but one didnāt act that way around respected elders. She took a deep breath and swallowed her anger.
āUncle, you are ⦠always thinking.ā
āIndeed. Canāt let any opportunity slip away. Come along.ā He rested a hand on her shoulder. āYou and I might be from far-flung branches of the family tree, but we are all one family. All Ozeras. We need to look out for each other.ā
Tasha went with him and consoled herself with the thought that this would be more entertaining than talking to any more of her classmates. She and Ronald waited politely at the edge of Tatianaās circleāall men his age or olderāuntil the queenās eyes fell on them. They offered a proper bow and curtsy and were rewarded with a nod of acceptance.
āYour Majesty, this party is magnificent. Even grander than last year,ā Ronald said as he straightened up. āYou of course remember Natasha, David and Blancheās daughter.ā
āYes, of course.ā Queen Tatiana was an impressive woman, even when she wasnāt decked out in a brocade gown and crown heavy with diamonds and rubies. She carried a presence that dwarfed everyone elseās, and her eyes never missed anything. āI noticed your brother isnāt with us tonight.ā
āNo, Your Majesty,ā said Tasha. āHe left with Moira and Christian for our country house tonight. Iāll be joining them tomorrow.ā
Tatiana didnāt frown, but her disapproval came through clearly. āItās strange, missing one of the biggest celebrations of the year. Surely they could have waited until tomorrow as well.ā
Tasha had thought so too but now felt obligated to defend Lucas. āMoira was eager to be home. I think sheās been over-tired.ā
āNot surprising. I always remember her being a fussy little thing. Quite vain too.ā
Again, Tasha secretly agreed but refused to give voice to anything that would slight her family in public. Others in the circle, hoping to win the queenās favor, were quick to jump in.
āMaking a trip like that at this time of night is reckless,ā said Nathan Ivashkov. āEspecially in light of what just happened.ā
āA family in St. Louis was ambushed by Strigoi last week,ā Eric Dragomir explained for Tasha and Ronaldās benefit.
āHow awful,ā said Ronald. āWere their guardians overpowered?ā
āNo guardians. They werenāt royal,ā said Eric.
āNo doubt they were careless too.ā Nathan glanced at Tasha and Ronald, reminding everyone of Lucas Ozeraās behavior. āItās unfortunate that there arenāt enough guardians to go around, but that just means one has to stay extra diligent.ā
āIt seems like there should be some extra guardians available for non-royals, though,ā interjected Tasha. She gestured around the room. āMy familyās are split tonight, but Iām sure most royals here have their full allotment just hanging around. Why hoard them? Courtās already well guarded. Any royal who knows theyāll be here for an extended period of time should let their guardians take on temporary assignments elsewhere. There still wouldnāt be enough for every Moroi, of course, but it could help any non-royals who happened to be in potentially dangerous situations.ā
Everyone stared at her. Ronald looked as though he very much regretted putting her on anyoneās radar.
The queen smiled, but there was no warmth to it. āNatasha, might I have a word alone with you?ā
It was the kind of statement that normally preceded the speaker stepping away. Instead, everyone else in the circle immediately moved back to give Tatiana and Tasha space.
Tasha tried not to gulp. āYes, Your Majesty?ā
āI like you,ā Tatiana said in a tone that expressed exactly the opposite. āAnd I liked your parents very much. Iād like to see you do well here tonight. Iād like to see you do well in general. As queen, my love extends to all the royal families, not just the Ivashkovs. When my people are happy, Iām happy. Therefore, Iām going to give you some advice that will make both of us happier.ā
Tasha, petrified, gave a jerky nod.
Tatiana leaned closer. āYouāre only here to look pretty, dear. Not to give your opinions. See that you remember that.ā
There were a million possible responses to that, but there was only one that Tasha was allowed to make: āTh-thank you, Your Majesty.ā
No one had heard what Tatiana had said, but the others in the earlier conversation knew sheād been chastised. Tasha was more than happy to slink back into the crowd and disappear, though Ronald caught up with her later.
āWhat were you thinking?ā he demanded.
āIām sorry, Uncle. I was just speaking my mind.ā
āSharing our guardians among non-royals is something thatās on your mind?ā
āWell ā¦ā He wasnāt angry, exactly, but his disapproval unsettled her. Still, she found her courage. āYes, actually. There are plenty of ways guardians could be better distributed without compromising protection andāā
Ronald groaned. āTasha, stop. Not tonight. Not in polite company. You know this is a controversial topic. No royal wants to hear about spreading our guardians thin. If you want to gain favor, start coming up with ideas on how to increase protection for royals.ā
Tasha nearly suggested one then and there. Sheād long thought Moroi would benefit from learning to protect themselves, but Ronaldās face told her now wasnāt the time. In fact, it would probably never be the time. No one wanted to hear about change. The world was marching on, but the Moroi were locked in the past. And young ladies attending the Summerās End Ball, ones who wanted to make a good impression, did not challenge the status quo.
āIām sorry, Uncle. I hope I didnāt cause you any trouble.ā The words left a bad taste in her mouth, but her contrite tone appeared to soften him.
āProbably not. Theyāve all been into so much champagne no one will even remember.ā
It was a relief when the party wrapped up and the guests spilled out of the ballroom and into the palaceās massive courtyard to watch the fireworks. Tasha kept away from the others and found a wrought-iron bench tucked away in a corner of the old stone walls, surrounded by honeysuckles that filled the humid air with their perfume. She soon felt a familiar presence stand behind her.
āNo rain yet,ā she said without turning around.
āNo, Lady Tasha,ā came Vinhās quiet reply. Once heād graduated and been assigned to her family, heād started using her title. Even here, alone in the shadows, he never broke protocol. She was Lady Ozera in public and Lady Tasha in private. Never anything more familiar. The only concession heād made was using Tasha instead of Natasha. She stared off at the clusters of other partygoers, laughing and drinking as they gazed skyward for the show to start. She felt like she was a million miles away from them. āI donāt think I did very well tonight, Vinh.ā
āWhat was it you were trying toāā
She heard him move behind her, and then there was a rustle of leaves and a yelp. Tasha spun around just in time to see Vinh lift a squirming Christian out of a hydrangea bush. Tasha jumped to her feet.
āChristian! What are you doing? Are your parents here?ā She glanced around, half expecting Lucas and Moira to emerge from the bush too. Christian shook his head as Vinh set him on his feet. āN-no. Theyāre probably at the house by now.ā
āAnd you arenāt with them because ā¦?ā
He obviously knew he was in trouble but still met her eyes boldly. āMom and Dad wanted the feeder to ride with them and Nolan. I think Mom was hungry because she kept going on and on about it. Anyway, it was crowded, so I told them Iād ride in the other car, with Guardian Locke, that borrowed guardian from the Badicas. Except I told him I was riding in the other car with Mom and Dad. So no one knew I was gone. And here I am.ā
āTo watch the fireworks,ā Tasha guessed. āYou shouldnāt look so pleased with yourself. Your motherās going to have a panic attack. If she hasnāt already.ā
Before Christian could answer back, a burst of red and gold stars exploded in the dark sky overhead and rained down in a brilliant shower of sparks. Christianās eyes went wide, and Tasha gave up on scolding him. She leaned toward Vinh. āGet word to Nolan, will you? Maybe we can at least minimize Moiraās outrage.ā
Vinh gave a curt nod and disappeared into the darkness. Tasha sat back down and beckoned Christian to join her. He leaned his head against her, and Tasha felt happier than she had all night as she put her arm around him.
āThis is all fire magic?ā he asked.
āThis show, yes. Sometimes theyāll mix it. Use conventional fireworks and then have fire users enhance it.ā Enormous blue flowers glittered above them, changed to silver, and then faded into sparkles.
āCan you do that?ā
āNo,ā she said. āBut then Iāve never tried. Maybe we could work on it together one day.ā
He turned and looked up at her hopefully. āDo you think Iāll be a fire user too?ā
āI do. Itās your best element, and the fact that itās showing so early means youāll probably be very powerful.ā
He settled back against her. āMaybe I can use that power to make fireworks.ā
āI should hope you could use it for something more,ā she said, but he was too transfixed to hear her.
Vinhās wordless return told her heād reported the unexpected itinerary change. Later, as the three walked back home, he explained, āNolan didnāt pick up, but I left a message about what happened. I said weād bring Lord Christian when we drive down tomorrow.ā Christian yawned, his steps growing slow. The eastern sky was purpling. āAunt Tasha, do you think we could practice making fireworks back at the house?ā
She laughed and ruffled his hair. āHavenāt you put your mother through enough tonight?ā
A raindrop landed on Tashaās cheek. Then another, and another. Suddenly, the foreseen shower was on them in full force. āNo time for umbrellas,ā she called to Vinh as she took off her shoes. āGrab him, and run for it!ā
Vinh hoisted Christian onto his back, and they raced through the deluge. Vinh matched her stride, even though Tasha knew he could have easily outrun her. They reached the town house, soaked but laughing. Tasha found towels for all of them and tried to pat her silk dress dry. It stuck to her like a second skin, and mud covered the hem. A few crystals had come loose.
āWeāre all going to be in trouble. Hopefully, I can get a cleaner to salvage this tomorrow.ā
āChange,ā Vinh told her. āIāll take care of him.ā Tasha gratefully went to her room but soon found the tiny hooks on the back of her sodden dress were impossible to grasp while wet. She peered into the hall and saw Vinh emerging from Christianās room. He put a finger to his lips and then raised an eyebrow in surprise when she beckoned him to her.
āHelp me?ā she asked, turning around.
Silence. Stillness. Then, carefully, his fingers brushed the back of her neck and began to work their way down her spine as he effortlessly undid the clasps. She held her breath and couldnāt help but wryly recall that heād never had trouble taking her clothes off. In the old days, he wouldnāt have stopped when the clasps ended below her shoulders. He certainly wouldnāt have stepped away so quickly. Tasha pressed a hand to her chest to keep the dress from falling off, not that it seemed to be going anywhere in its sticky state. As she turned back, she just barely caught sight of his eyes traveling the length of her body before politely glancing away.
āDo you need anything else, Lady Tasha?ā All sorts of things,Ā she thought. She wondered what heād do if she asked him to help peel the rest of the gown away. What would he do if she took it off herself and ordered him to watch?
She let out the breath sheād been holding. āNo, Vinh. Iāll meet you downstairs.ā
Out of respect for him, she put on the most modest pajamas she owned. When she softly crept down the stairs later, she saw that heād switched on the small credenza lamp, providing just enough light for Moroi and dhampir eyes to see by. He looked over her wardrobe choice, and Tasha couldnāt tell if he felt relieved or disappointed.
āLord Christian fell asleep before Iād even finished buttoning up his pajamas.ā A rare, easy smile spread over Vinhās face. āI hope itās all right that I just put him straight to bed. I didnāt bother drying his hair or anything.ā Vinhās black hair, always cut short, was already starting to dry.
Tashaās was still lank and dripping, and she pushed it back. āNo different from me. You know, someone called me an āeffortless beautyā tonight. I wonder what heād say now. This is pretty effortless.ā
Vinh crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, watchful but still relaxed. āHe wouldnāt say a word. Heād be too enthralled at the real you, stripped of all the makeup and jewelry and glamour. Nothing to distract. Just the pure, steady flame of who you are.ā He could control their physical contact, but sometimes, in private, he left his words unguarded.
Tasha gave a brief smile at the warrior-turned-poet, but the heat of his earlier touch had faded now that she reflected on the eveningās events. She stared off at the rain beating against the living room window. āI donāt know what that flame is. Who the real me is. I keep trying to be who Natasha Ozera is supposed to be. I go to all the places Iām supposed to. I say the things Iām supposed toāwell, most of the time. I do everything Iām meant to ⦠but it turns out that Iām not actually doing them right. Maybe because I donāt really feel that theyāre right.ā
āMaybe you need a new definition of what ārightā is.ā
āItās hard to do anything new around here. You should have seen their faces tonightāincluding the queenāsāwhen I suggested a way to reallocate guardians to serve royal and non-royal Moroi. And thatās just the beginning! I think all Moroi should learn some basic fighting. I nearly said it. But then I backed down. I was too intimidated. The rules, the traditions, the judgment ⦠no one can fight against that.ā
āMaybe because no oneās tried.ā
She glanced back up and couldnāt help another smile. āYouāre acting very rebellious tonight.ā
āNot me. My role is defined, and I donāt mind following the rules. It suits me. But you? I think youāre something different. I think your role, whatever it is, has yet to be discovered. Youāre more than the āeffortless beautyā who says the right things ⦠that arenāt actually right.ā
Despite the amusement in his last words, his face stayed completely, intensely serious. She felt pinned by his gaze and had no desire to break free of it. āI wouldnāt even know where to start,ā she said.
āStart small. Donāt worry about all Moroi learning to defend themselves. You learn it first.ā
Tasha laughed outright at that. āIf I walked over to the guardiansā office right now, do you think anyone would teach me? Would you?ā
He hesitated, caught by his own words. āYou donāt need guardians to teach you. Go to any city, and youāll find endless options. Walk down a street and turn into the first place you find that can teach you any semblance of self-defense. A dojo. A jujitsu studio. A kickboxing class. It doesnāt matter what it is. Start with something, and go from there. Go until youāre unstoppable.ā
āYou want to send me off to wander alone among humans?ā
āI never said alone. Iām your familyās guardian. Right now Iām assigned to you. You donāt need anyoneās permission to leave, and if you order me to come along and protect you, I will, and no rules will be broken.ā
āItās that easy, huh?ā She watched the rain again and then gave him a sidelong look. āWhat if I command you to call me just Tasha, instead of Lady Tasha?ā āThat would be breaking a rule. And I canāt do that.ā Again, hesitation. āEven if I wanted to.ā
We do the right things too but donāt do them right either,Ā she mused. In the course of this brief conversation, theyād already moved closer together without either of them realizing it. It happened all the time in these rare, clandestine talks of theirs when she could finally drop the faƧade the rest of the world expected of her and say what was really in her heart. Well, not everything in her heart. Otherwise, sheād tell him how standing near him still made her nervous and excited, just as it had when they used to slip away together at St. Vladimirās. Sheād tell him how now, deprived of those stolen kisses, she lived for the brief, casual touches that were all they could share anymore. Sheād tell him there was no other person who made her feel so valued. So real. Sheād tell him that she loved how he was real too, with none of the show and ego that muddled the rest of the world. And sheād tell him she loved him, too.
Instead, she said, āI wish you werenāt so good at your job.ā
For a few fleeting seconds, his stoic guardian face faltered, and she saw a longing that matched her own. āMe too, Lady Tasha.ā
She couldnāt meet his eyes for long, not with that look in them. It wasnāt fair that dhampirs were forced to serve Moroi at all costs. It wasnāt fair that their society wouldnāt legitimize relationships between Moroi and dhampirs, no matter the indiscretions that took place on the side. His own birth had come about that way when a royal vacationing in Vietnam had been smitten by Vinhās dhampir mother. Heād wooed her into a brief affair and then never spoke to her again, not even when she sent word about their son.
Tashaās eyes strayed to the window again, where the rain had slowed and was falling against the panes in long streaks, tears to match those she refused to shed. She saw the dark figure moving outside just a heartbeat before the glass shattered. A second window met the same fate, and then three guardians burst through the front door. Tasha screamed as all five of them fanned out around her and Vinh, their hands wielding guns and silver stakes. Tasha stepped back and bumped into the wall.
āDo you know where they are?ā demanded one of the guardians.
āKnow where who are?ā she asked. She held her hands up, even though no one had asked her to. It seemed like the thing to do.
āDid you know what they had planned? Are you going to join them?ā
Vinh faced a moment of indecision, stuck between obligation to Tasha and obedience to the guardian order. He chose her. He had no weapon, not on household duty at Court, but he positioned himself fearlessly between her and the five guardians.
āWhatās going on?ā he exclaimed. āHow dare you break into this house and speak to her that way? Sheās a scion of House Ozera! She and her brotherāā
āShe has no brother,ā said the lead guardian bluntly. āHeās gone.ā
āG-gone?ā she stammered. āIf you mean tonight, they were just driving toāā
āI mean, Lady Ozera, that heās no longer among the living.ā
The room began to spin around Tasha, and her knees gave out from under her. Vinh was by her side in an instant, his arm around her for support. āLucas is ⦠dead?ā She could hardly hear her own voice.
āNot truly dead,ā said another guardian. āTurned. He and his wife are Strigoi.ā
āNo ⦠no! Thatās ⦠no. Itās impossible!ā Or was it? Theyād been warned of the dangers of traveling at night. Tasha leaned further into Vinh and tried to bring the room back into focus.
āWhere were they attacked? On the road? At our house?ā Both seemed unlikely. A moving car wasnāt an easy target, and heavy wards ringed the house.
āThey werenāt attacked,ā said the first guardian. āThey chose to turn Strigoi.ā Tashaās moment of weakness vanished, and she pulled herself upright, suddenly recharged with fury. There was no greater sin in the Moroi world than purposely choosing the dark, undead path of the Strigoi, to give up oneās soul and morals in exchange for power and immortality. Suggesting it of Lucas and Moira insulted Tasha, her family, and the entire Ozera name.
She strode toward the guardians, fists clenched and fear gone. āYouāre lying. Thereās no way they would do that.ā
The guardian who spoke didnāt flinch under her gaze. āThe evidence is very clear. Thereās no indication of any attack by outside Strigoi. We found one of their cars abandoned on the side of the highway. One of them had drained their feeder. The other snapped Nolan Orrās neck and drained him.ā
Tasha heard a sharp intake of breath from Vinh. He and Nolan had become close friends in the year theyād worked together. Nolan had protected her since she was a child.
āThere was another guardian,ā she said. āLocke. One who wasāā
āHeās dead too, Lady Ozera. We found his body thrown into the brush nearby. The Strigoi took the second car.ā
There were no words to describe what Tasha felt in that moment. Nothing she could say. Nothing she could even think. She started to tremble. Seeing that the news had finally sunk in, the lead guardian asked, āDo you have any idea at all of where theyād go? Did they say anything? Theyāre not at the houseāitās still warded.ā
āPlease, Lady Ozera,ā said another. āI know this must be difficult, but we need to act while we can still track them. New Strigoi are careless.ā We need to act while we can still track them.
Track them to kill them. Because that was the only thing to be done at this point.
āNo.ā The word barely came out. Tasha swallowed and tried again. āNo. I have no idea where theyād be. All they said was that they were going home tonight. I was supposed to join them tomorrow. Today.ā It was dawn, after all.
She didnāt know where they were, but she should have known something was up. Not this, of course ⦠but something. Theyād been so insistent they leave last night, despite the risk. Darkness, away from the safety of Court, was ideal for Strigoiāand apparently for their creation, too. Neither had wanted the extra guardian. And Moira had wanted the feeder close, an easy victim to drain and initiate the turning.
Try to have fun, little sister. And I hope ⦠I hope when you look back on tonight, youāll remember how much I love you. How much we all love you.
Tasha didnāt realize she was getting dizzy again until Vinh returned to her side. āBreathe,ā he murmured. āJust breathe.ā
āIām sorry, Lady Ozera.ā The lead guardian, calmer now, appeared sincere. āI believe that you didnāt know anything. But weāll still have to interrogate you back in our headquarters, just in case thereās some detail you donāt realize is important.ā
Again, she had no words. How could she? Not whenā
āAunt Tasha?ā
She whirled around and saw Christian peering around the bannister at the top of the stairs, his young face drawn and uneasy.
āChristian! Go back to bed. Everything ā¦ā Tasha could feel herself choking up. āEverythingās going to be okay. ā¦ā
But nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.
Christian stepped out of the shadows, fully revealing himself. He looked beyond Tasha, to the group of guardians. Uncertain, he finally settled his gaze on Vinh.
āYou have to hunt down my parents, donāt you?ā
Vinh didnāt blink, but Tasha knew his heart was breaking, just as hers was. āYes, Lord Christian.ā
āBecause you have to kill them.ā
Tasha turned away and buried her face in her hands, not wanting to hear the rest. And she knew that Christian was addressing Vinh because Vinh had always treated him like an adult and would always tell him the truth.
āYes, Lord Christian.ā
Word spread quickly at Court. Gossip usually did, and this was the sort of horror that people often speculated about but never expected to happen. Tasha and Christian were allowed to clean up and change, and by the time the guardians escorted the two of them away for questioning, curious onlookers had gathered outside both the town house and the guardiansā office.
Except most everyone was trying very hard not to appear like an onlooker. They acted as though they were casually out and about, that theyād just happened to be strolling around at noonāwhen most Moroi were asleep. Some even tried to pretend that they hadnāt noticed Tasha and Christian. Others had no such tact. But Tasha felt the weight of all their eyes. She saw them lean their heads together to speak covertly. She heard the whispers.
āAunt Tasha, all these people are watching us.ā
Tasha tightened her hold on Christianās hand and quickened her step. āThey donāt matter. None of them matters to us.ā
It was a relief to reach the guardiansā headquarters, not that interrogation proved much better. A group of guardians questioned Tasha for almost two hours, and she had a hard time answering coherently when she herself was still having trouble coming to terms with what had happened. It seemed dreamlike. Or like it was happening to another person, and she was simply watching from the outside.
They interrogated Christian next, and although they warned her not to say anything, they at least allowed her to stay in the room. As the afternoon progressed, something new occurred to her as she analyzed both the line of questioning and the gawkersā attitudes. There was more to this than just the shock of Lucas and Moiraās crime.
Ā āThey think we might turn too, donāt they?ā she asked Vinh once it was over. āOr, at least, that I will.ā
He couldnāt lie to her any more than he could lie to Christian. āMost Moroi who turn by choice act alone. Theyāre mentally disturbed. Or desperate. Or too selfish to have ties to others. When pairs or groups turn ⦠yes, sometimes thereās a larger conspiracy of loved ones doing it together.ā
āAnd some people just think itās in the blood,ā she added. āThat thereās something inherently evil in all of us.ā
His silence was confirmation enough. As they were about to exit the building, Tasha caught sight of two guardians walking into a conference room. When the doors opened, she saw more guardians inside, gathered in front of a giant screen. Faces were tense. This wasnāt an ordinary patrol meeting.
She came to a halt. āThatās where theyāre planning it, isnāt it? How to track Lucas and Moira down?ā
Vinh gently touched her arm, but she was too distracted to experience any of the old thrill. āLady Tasha, you should go home.ā
āI want to see.ā She pulled away. āI have a right to see, donāt I?ā
āYes,ā he said after a momentās consideration. āIāll go with you. But not him. Iāll get another guardian to take him back home.ā
Tasha looked down at Christian and felt the ache inside her intensify. How did someone so young even begin to make sense of this? āNo. Heās not going back out there without meānot while those vultures are still circling. He can wait in the hall. ā¦ā But she faltered, unsure if she wanted to leave him alone here either.
āLady Ozera? I can wait with him while you meet with the others. Iāll make sure no one bothers him.ā
The speaker was a dhampir a little younger than her, his Russian accent thick. He stood taller even than Vinh, with the kind of face that probably made girls swoon, and every bit of him was composed and respectful. āThis is Dimitri Belikov,ā said Vinh. āHeās part of a group of novices who are visiting Court. You can trust him.ā
There werenāt many Tasha truly believed she could trust anymore, but if Vinh trusted this novice, then she would as well. She knelt down and brushed a kiss over Christianās forehead. āIāll be right back. I need to ⦠check on something.ā
Christianās icy-blue eyesāLucasās eyes, her eyesāstudied her without comment. He wasnāt stupid. He knew what was happening.
The guardiansā meeting was already in session when she and Vinh entered the room. It came to a standstill when the others noticed her, and the guardian taking charge at the podiumāa short, fierce woman with red hairācleared her throat. āLady Ozera, weāre honored at your presence, but perhaps ⦠this isnāt the best place for you to be right now.ā
The more people stared at her today, the easier it became for Tasha to ignore them. āThank you, but this is exactly where I should be right now, Guardian ā¦ā
āHathaway,ā Vinh murmured. āJanine Hathaway.ā
āGuardian Hathaway,ā Tasha said. āPlease continue.ā
Janine studied Tasha a beat more and then gave a sharp nod before pointing at the screen. It displayed a map of the area south of the Poconos and Court. āHereās where the first car was found. Based on the estimated time of turning, we can accurately calculate the farthest they could have gone before sunrise. Thatās still a big area, but at least itās contained. For now. When nighttime comes, the radius gets larger and larger, and then itās beyond our control. Studying the highways, we can also make some educated guesses on which way they went and start sending search parties. New Strigoi usually steer clear of Moroi areas because they donāt want to run into guardians. They do, however, have less control of their bloodlust than a more experienced Strigoi does. We can count on them to make at least one human kill tonight, and thatāll help us pinpoint the direction they went, if not their location.ā
Tasha again had that strange detached feeling as she listened to more of the plan. It was all so logical, all so strategic. The guardians addressed the problem with total indifference, and Tasha could almostāalmostāforget that it was Lucas and Moira being hunted and not some other monster.
Lucas. My big brother. Almost like a father because of the age difference, especially after our own passed. He used to spin me around until I was too dizzy to stand. He didnāt tease me when I was eleven and gave myself that terrible haircut. He loved cinnamon rolls. He binge-watched old TV sitcoms and would laugh and laugh at the stupidest jokes. ā¦
But Lucas hadnāt laughed so much in recent days, not after his friends died. Knowing what she knew now, Tasha kicked herself for not having realized that when he grew quiet and stared off, he wasnāt reliving old memories. He was fearing for the future, and the inevitable end of his life. How could immortality not sound appealing? Especially with his vain wife constantly panicking about losing her youth and beauty ā¦
āLetās go,ā she told Vinh when the guardians dispersed.
āIāll find a more discreet way back.ā
Ā āNot to our town house.ā She peered around the hall and spied Dimitri speaking with Christian. The boy was smiling, but his smile had a haunted quality. āI want to leave Court, Vinh. I need to get away from here. I donāt want Christian around this anymoreāaround their judgment. And their condemnation.ā
āThe guardians wonāt want you to go far,ā Vinh warned. āAnd theyāll want you to go somewhere well guarded.ā
āTo protect me from myself, no doubt.ā
But she had nowhere to go. The country house was out of the question. Statistics said Lucas and Moira wouldnāt return to it, but it was still suspect. Out of options, she trekked over to Ronaldās Court home. His eyes went wide when he found her and Christian at his door.
āUncle, I want to go to your estate in Poughkeepsie.ā
āNow, Tasha, letās not do anything thatāā
āThereās no time for your scheming or pandering! People saw me come here. You canāt avoid that. Give us the keys, and let us stay upstate for a while until this blows over.ā
Some of Ronaldās shock faded. āUntil this blows over? Do you realize whatās been done? Tasha, this is never going to blow over! The stain of this will be with your family forever.ā
āOur family,ā she snapped. āRemember what you told me last night? About how all the Ozeras look after one another?ā
He cringed again. Did he think she was going to turn Strigoi before his very eyes? Or was he just unprepared to have her finally stand up to him? āTasha, please. Try to understand where Iām coming from. Itās not too late for me. If I can distance myself from this ⦠tragedy, my political career still has a chance.ā
Tasha took a step forward and saw Ronaldās guardian tense in her periphery. āYour political career has a better chance if you make the council. And guess what. I am now the voting member of my branch of the Ozeras. And if you want to hold on to any hope of being elected to the Ozera council seat, you will give me those keys now.ā
An hour later, she was on the road with Vinh, Christian, and another borrowed guardian, Jonas. Officially, heād come along so that she and Christian could each have their own protection. In reality, she knew it was to put a double watch on her. Christian was too young to drain anyone and become Strigoi, but she was still suspect. And no feeder had been allowed to come with them.
Ronald hadnāt visited his other home in a while. Dust had gathered, and much of the furniture remained covered. Even still, the estate was bigger and more luxurious than Lucasās, though it hadnāt been styled with Moiraās eye for detail. Tasha wondered how much of a personās self vanished with the soul when becoming Strigoi. Even as a bloodthirsty creature of the night, was Moira still consumed by the latest fashions?
They arrived a couple of hours before sunset, prime time for Moroi, but their schedules were all thrown off from not sleeping the previous day. After a light dinner, Tasha let Christian run off to the houseās massive home theater. Jonas, unsure of the wardsā status, patrolled the houseās periphery. Tasha uncovered a sofa and collapsed onto it, too exhausted to do anything else. She didnāt intend to sleep, but the next thing she knew, she was yawning and blinking at the garden scene painted on Ronaldās vaulted ceiling. Vinh sat across from her on another couch.
She shot upright. āWhereās Christian?ā
āHeās fine. Hiding.ā
āHiding?ā
āDonāt worry, I know where he is. I found him upstairs but pretended I didnāt.ā Vinhās smile was short-lived. āHe seemed like he wanted to be alone. I think ⦠he has a lot to process.ā
āHim and me both.ā Tasha rubbed her eyes and noted the dark windows. āHow long did I sleep?ā
āNot long enough. Rest more if you want.ā
āI canāt.ā She yawned again and pushed hair out of her face. āIām afraid of what Iāll see. Iām afraid that every time I close my eyes, Iāll see Lucasāas one of those monsters.ā
āBut it wonāt actually be him,ā Vinh reminded her. āHeās gone.ā
āIs he? If heād diedāor even if heād been forcibly turnedāthere wouldāve been a line of mourners outside our door back there, offering condolences, bringing us flowers. But there was nothing. Not one word of acknowledgment. Even when they were staring at us ⦠it was like we didnāt exist.ā
āThatāll change with time.ā
Tasha slumped forward, resting her face in her hands. āWill it, Vinh? You heard what Ronald said.ā
He crossed the living room and sat beside her, first placing his gun and silver stake on a nearby table. āRonald Ozera is a petty man who canāt see past his own ambition. This didnāt even happen to his brother and heās ready to crumble right now. Whereas you? Youāll weather this. Itāll hurt, but youāll come out stronger for it. You and Lord Christian both.ā
āReally?ā She uncovered her face and straightened again. āI donāt feel like I have much of anything left in me, let alone strength.ā
āI can feel your strength.ā He placed his hand over hers. āIt shines around you. I feel it every time Iām near you. I have since the moment we met, back in our freshman history class.ā
She looked into his eyes and saw that elusive and precious emotion that he usually kept concealed. The heat of his hand flowed into hers, and there was no obligation or utilitarian reason for that touch. When she laced her fingers in his, he didnāt pull away. āWill you still follow me if I run away?ā
āLady Tasha, I ā¦ā His other hand grazed her cheek, and she was surprised to feel him shake. āIāll follow you anywhere.ā
Tasha was swimming in the darkness of his eyes, melting at the closeness of his body. Moments later, stark understanding sent a jolt through her, and euphoria gave way to bitterness. āBecause you have to. Because they ordered you to.ā
He shook his head. āNo. I was lucky when I graduated. I had a few families to choose from, and I requested yours.ā
āDid you? But I know ⦠I know how hard itās been for you. I see it. How it tests your discipline. I always thought ā¦ā She cast her eyes downward. āI always thought being assigned to us, to me, was agony for you. Why would you choose it?ā
āBecause ⦠because I canāt stay away from you.ā
His fingers curled into her cheek, tilting her face upward as he brought his mouth to hers. She stiffened, almost wondering if she was dreaming, and then surrendered to the kiss. His lips were the same as she remembered, soft and full, but the way they moved against hers had changed. He tasted her. He devoured her. A new intensity had ignited between them, almost a desperation. They were both older now, past the stage of dares and experimentation. This was a connection to another soul.
But, so help her, it was also desire. He always said she had a flame within her, and just then, she believed him. Every caress of his lips, every bold touch of his hands against her body ⦠it all set her ablaze. And suddenly, there was heat and life in a world that sheād thought would forever be filled with coldness and death. The world still felt dangerous and lonely, but if he loved her enough to finally break with the taboos that said their connection was wrong, then maybeājust maybeāthere was still hope in the world. Maybe she could change it.
She wrapped herself against him, ready to let go of inhibition and fear and propriety. Her hands slid under his shirt, greedy to possess him like she used to. Heād succumbed as well and started to push the straps of her tank top down.
And then they heard the scream.
They instantly broke apart, and in a heartbeat, the lust within her was obliterated by fear. The sound had come from outside, and despite the distance, there was no mistaking the complete and almost primal terror in it. Vinh shot to his feet, the silver stake and gun back in his hands. When silence fellāalmost more sinister than the screamāhe scanned the living room intently, his gaze lingering longest on the windows and the doorway that led to a hall connecting to the foyer and kitchen.
He handed over the gun without looking at her. āTake this. Go upstairs.ā
Tasha started to tell him she didnāt know how to use a gun, but when she saw her brother appear in the living roomās doorway, the whole world slowed down. Her mouth couldnāt form any words. Her body couldnāt move. She couldnāt draw breath.
Vinh moved in front of her, murmuring as he passed: āThatās not your brother. Go.ā
Tasha, still frozen, tried to truly, clearly take Lucas in.Ā Thatās not your brother.Ā But he looked like him. His hair was the sameāher hair, Christianās hair. The features of his face were the same, down to a small mole by his left ear. Even his clothes were the same as theyād been the last time she saw him.
But the eyes ⦠those werenāt the Ozera eyes. They werenāt her eyes or Christianās eyes. The crystalline blue was all but gone, obscured by the bloody ring of red surrounding his pupils. And he no longer had the fair skin of a Moroi. This went beyond fair, beyond pale. It went beyond life. Lucasās pallor was that of someone already in the grave.
Even if his eye and hair color hadnāt changed, Tasha wouldāve known her brother was gone simply by the way he regarded them. That malevolence, that complete detachment from any sort of compassion or empathy ā¦Ā Thatās not your brother.Ā She was looking at some other entity wearing Lucasās skin.
Tasha felt his gaze slide over her, but Vinh, approaching with his stake, remained Lucasās main focus. āYou were the lucky one,ā he told Vinh. Again, it was surreal. Lucasās voice ⦠but not. āYou got to live an extra day. An extra day in my little sisterās company.ā
Vinh didnāt speak as he strode forward, totally honed in on his foe. He was moving at an angle rather than a straight line, intentionally drawing the action away from Tasha and the stairs that offered her escape. Tension crackled through both men, every part of them poised and waiting for the other to strike. Lucas still had his slim and lean build, but she knew he now possessed a strength that surpassed all of theirs. He snapped Nolanās neck. Could Vinh stand against that? Heād been trained to, and new Strigoi were supposed to be less lethal than more seasoned onesābut still very, very lethal.
Thereās a chance, she thought. Vinh might be able to hold his own against one fresh Strigoi. He could stake him. Stake her brother.
That thing is not my brother.
The window behind them burst apart, and Moira leapt through it, landing in the living room with far more agility than sheād ever displayed in life. She paused to brush glass off her designer jacket, but if that fastidious nature really had carried over to the undead, it was one of the few things that had. Like Lucas, there was no question that this creature that looked so like Moira Ozera contained nothing but evil.
Vinh realized it was over seconds before Tasha did. Both Strigoi sprang toward him at once, and the guardian brought his stake down toward Lucas, yelling, āTasha, get out of here!ā And then she could hardly see him at all because Lucas and Moira had tackled him to the floor. Tasha heard his screams, could make out his legs flailing, and then she finally came back to herself.
Feeling like a traitor and a coward, she turned away from the grisly scene and raced up the stairs, only to realize she didnāt know where Christian had ended up hiding.Ā Donāt worry, I know where he is,Ā Vinh had said. But Vinh couldnāt help her anymore. For a frantic moment, she thought maybe it was better if Christian stayed hidden, but that was foolish. If a guardian had found him, two Strigoi with enhanced senses could. He needed her.
āChristian!ā she shouted, staring around at the vast hall and adjacent rooms. āChristian, where are you?ā
Below, the screams had stopped, and she couldnāt stand to think about what that meant. From a darkened doorway on the third floor, Christian stuck his head out, his eyes filled with terror. āWhatās happening? Theyāre here, arenāt they?ā
Tasha shot up the rest of the stairs. She shoved him back into the room and slammed the heavy wooden door behind them before turning on the light. They were in a rec room filled with vintage arcade games and various tabletop sports. There were no true windows, only a set of French doors that opened to a balcony. Another door, closed, looked like it was probably a storage closet.
āHelp me,ā she cried, grabbing a billiards table. She intended to buy them some time and block the door, but there was no time. There wasnāt time for anything. She hadnāt even gotten the table to budge when Moira and Lucas kicked through the wooden door. Tasha took hold of Christianās hand and pulled him along as she backed up toward the balcony.
āThose arenāt your parents,ā she said to Christian, just as Vinh had told her.
Sheād spoken softly, but Strigoi had superior hearing. āOf course we are,ā said Moira. āAnd we want to be with our son.ā
Tasha shouldered open the French doors behind her. They didnāt offer much of an escape, not here on the third floor of a house with oversized stories, but it still meant she could put a few more feet between them and her. āIāll die before Iāll let you kill him,ā she said.
Lucas moved closer, an animal on the prowl. āWe donāt want to kill him. We want him to join us. You can too, but thatās your choice. It makes no difference to us. With or without your consent, weāre leaving with Christian.ā
āYou want to turn him? Keep him nine forever?ā Tasha exclaimed.
āWe want to keep him,ā clarified Moira. āKeep him until heās of age. Then awaken him.ā
Awaken. The word Strigoi used for turn, making it sound like some sort of holy act. As horrifying as Christian being turned into an eternally nine-year-old Strigoi was, the thought of him being held captive by Strigoi for years until he was āof ageā turned Tashaās stomach just as much.
āThereās nowhere else you can go,ā Lucas said. He was right. Another step, and sheād be fully outside on the balcony and completely trapped. He and Moira were so close now she could see their fangsāsharper and larger than a Moroiās.
Moira knelt down and smiled at Christian. Blood gleamed on her jacket, blood that hadnāt been there when sheād crashed through the window. Vinhās blood.
āChristian, donāt you want to come with us? Donāt you want us to all go to a new home together? Tell Aunt Tasha to stop being so selfish.ā
Tasha didnāt need to remind Christian that these werenāt his parents. He cringed against her, his nails digging into her palm. Tasha raised the gun sheād been holding in her other hand.
āDonāt talk to him. Donāt come any nearer. This might not kill you, but silver bullets hurt.ā
Lucas laughed. āSince when can you use a gun? Youāre not going to hurt anyone with the safety on.ā
Was it on? Tasha wasnāt sure. And she certainly didnāt know how to take the safety off if it was. She threw the gun down and pulled Christian all the way outside with her until their backs hit the balconyās rail. āIāll throw us both off!ā she cried. āWeāll be dead before you can turn anyone.ā
That gave the Strigoi pause, and they stopped advancing. Christianās death was the only power she held over them because it thwarted what theyād come for. It wasnāt a power she wanted, though. She didnāt want Christian to die. She didnāt want to die. But if it came down to that or letting themā
Before she could complete the thought, Lucas struck, and no matter how many stories sheād heard of Strigoi speed, even after seeing them pounce on Vinh, Tasha still wasnāt prepared for how quickly it happened. Lucas shot out the door and snatched her away from Christian, forcing her to lose her hold on the boy. Without pause, Lucas bent down and sank his teeth into the side of Tashaās face. Tashaās scream was lost in blood and the press of his body on hers as he held her down in the doorway. Pain ripped through her, so maddeningly intense that she nearly lost consciousness. Another screamāChristianāsāforced her to keep her grip on the present, no matter her agony. Moira had dragged him into the room.
Desperate for any weapon, Tasha sent a burst of fire magic toward Lucas. It wasnāt much. She rarely practiced and was certainly no creator of fireworks. She could do all the cute parlor tricks most fire-wielding Moroi could, like lighting candles. Sheād even flambĆ©ed cherries at a party once. What she did now had no real force, and certainly no precision, but it was enough. Flames licked along the edge of Lucasās sleeve, and he let go of her and staggered back inside as he tried to pull the jacket off.
Pressing a hand to her cheek, Tasha steadied herself against one of the French doors and watched as Moira let go of Christian. She hurried over to help Lucas pull his jacket off, cautious about getting too near the flames. A big enough fire could kill a Strigoi. The two of them blocked Tashaās way to the roomās main exit, though Christian now had a clear path. Tasha tried to tell him to run, but her mouth and jaw no longer worked properly. Her nephew stared at her with wide eyes as she frantically gestured, and she could only imagine what the boy thought of her ghastly appearance. But then, instead of turning around and running away, he shot forward and clung to her leg.
āI wonāt leave you,ā he said fiercely.
Lucasās jacket lay on the ground now, the fire stamped out. Tasha found herself in exactly the same situation as before: stuck between the Strigoi and the balcony. Well, not exactly the same situation. Now half her face was gone. But the smoldering jacket gave her a glimmer of hope. If she could use her magic to create a bigger blaze, she might be able to destroy one of them, or at least give her and Christian one last shot at escape.
Fighting through the pain, the fear, and so much more, Tasha summoned what power she could and directed it toward Moira, striving to create the greatest fire sheād ever made. And it was big. It surpassed Tashaās last weak attempt, but the magic was sloppy. Tasha missed Moira and ended up setting the roomās large Persian rug on fire. It ignited quickly, the blaze spreading fast and farāand Tasha didnāt have the strength to control it.
She sensed a trickle of fire magic beside her, and the flames on the rug redirected slightly, settling into a barrier between the Strigoi and the balcony. Tasha looked down at Christian in surprise. āIām sorry,ā he said, his face strained with panic and exhaustion. āI canāt control it.ā
Tasha patted his shoulder with her free hand and watched Lucasās and Moiraās frustration as the flames grew higher and smoke filled the room. The Strigoi couldnāt get to the balcony through the fire and were going to have to cut their losses soon if they wanted to escape it themselves.
We canāt get through the fire either,Ā Tasha thought.Ā Weāll have to jump. But at least weāll die with our souls intact.
Christian coughed and started to cover his mouth with his hand. Suddenly, he stiffened and pointed. It was hard to make out much in the hazy room anymore, but she soon caught sight of what heād noticed. Other people streamed into the room now. Lots of people. Guardians. Janine Hathaway led them, and they all carried silver stakes.
Lucas and Moira turned their backs to Tasha and Christian and readied for the fight. But as the guardians descended, Tasha knew there was no question of how this was going to end. She took one last look at the monster wearing her brotherās face and then turned Christian away so that he wouldnāt have to see his parentsā second death.
They clung to each other, listening to shouts and cries and the crackling of burning wood. The smoke stung Tashaās eyes, but she felt certain she wouldāve been crying without it. The pain in her face was unbearable, but not as great as the pain in her heart, and she had that earlier urge to close her eyes and lie down forever.
āLady Ozera!ā
Tasha blinked her eyes open, thinking sheād imagined the voice. Christian pulled her closer to the balconyās edge, and they saw a guardian waving at them below. Farther, across the estateās vast grounds, more guardians were running from a garage used by maintenance workersāand they were carrying a massive ladder.
āHang on,ā the guardian below the balcony called. āThisāll all be over soon.ā
But it was never going to be over.
Tasha knew that then. She knew it the next day and the next week. She even knew it two months later, on the day she decided to move away from Court. So long as she woke up every morning, replaying the events of that dark night, nothing about it could ever be over.
Her title ensured she would always be welcome at Court and provided with lodging when she visited. But when a royal formally gave up permanent residence at Court, custom dictated that an official farewell be made to the monarch. So, once sheād made sure the last of the town houseās possessions had either been moved or disposed of, Tasha turned the keys over to the royal land manager and trekked across the Courtās vast, beautiful grounds once more.
Autumn had taken hold, and the groundskeepers couldnāt keep up with the red and gold leaves that kept falling across the pathways. Gray clouds loomed overhead, but Tasha hadnāt brought an umbrella. She didnāt plan on going back for one either. There were no lines of spectators today. No one knew her exact plans or that sheād even be outside. But those who recognized her in passing still did a double take, staring without trying to make it look like they were staring.
The others waiting in the anteroom to be received by Tatiana stared as well, their expressions mixtures of curiosity and shock. Tasha wondered how much of their reaction still came from the speculation over whether the rest of Lucasās relatives would turn.
She caught sight of her face in a polished silver vase and met that reflection unflinchingly. After treatments and surgeries, sheād been allowed to stop wearing bandages a week ago, though one doctor had tactfully said heād understand if she wanted to keep her cheek covered. She didnāt. Angry red welts still showed in the side of her face, some from the original bite and some from reconstructive surgery. The skin covering it all was irregularātoo tight or too wrinkledāand that also was a byproduct of reconstruction. It would be an ongoing process. Future surgeries could fix a lot of it, but all the doctors had reiterated that her face would never be as it was. Sheād always have some sort of scar.
An effortless beauty,Ā Tasha thought.
āLady Natasha Ozera.ā
Tasha entered at the sound of her name. Queen Tatiana was receiving visitors in the throne room today, which was a rarity. The Court, no matter where it was in the world, always maintained a throne room for the acting monarch, and in older days, that room wouldāve been the chief location for all royal receptions. In modern times, the queen often listened to callers in less luxuriousābut still very dignifiedāsitting rooms.
Tasha had been warned this morning about the venue change, the subtle message being that she should dress appropriately. But Tasha wore the same clothes she planned on wearing to the airport in two hours: jeans, T-shirt, suede jacket. A ponytail held her long hair back from her face. Courtiers whispered as she passed through the ostentatious red-and-gold room, and she realized she couldnāt even tell what particular kind of gossip she stirred up anymore.
Queen Tatiana sat atop the elaborately carved throne that had honored generations of monarchs before her. At least it was situated only slightly above ground level today. For truly formal occasions, the throne would sit high on a platform that required stairs. Even so, the queen had still very clearly dressed to impress, wearing a velvet gown in shades of red and rust that Tasha thought was better suited for something like the Summerās End Ball, rather than business meetings with oneās subjects. The queen kept her expression serene, but Tasha could sense the other womanās condemnation.
Tasha bowed, unable to curtsy in jeans.
āNatasha. We are pleased to see you in the palace. You havenāt been out recently. Are you feeling better?ā Tatiana, wielding the royal we, spoke as though Tasha were getting over a cold.
āYes, thank you, Your Majesty. Iāve come to officially request your leave. Iām surrendering my familyās residence and moving.ā The request was a formality these days; Tatiana couldnāt stop her.
āUnderstandable. Where are you moving to?ā
āMinneapolis.ā
Surprise crept into Tatianaās face. āThere arenāt any Moroi strongholds there. Just a handful of feeders.ā
āCorrect, Your Majesty.ā
Moroi tended to survive by clustering together with groups of their guardians or seeking isolation (while also well guarded), as Ronald had tried with his now half-burned estate. Minneapolis met none of those criteria. That was part of the reason why Tasha had chosen it as a new home. If sheād only had to worry about herself, she actually wouldāve run as far and as fast as she could to the other side of the world. But she had to keep close to Christian, now back at school in Montana, and to Court as well. She wasnāt going to let the other royals forget her or think that theyād made her run away. She was leaving by choice.
āYouāll probably want a guardian to accompany you, then.ā
āNo, Your Majesty.ā
āArenāt you afraid?ā
Tasha laughed, shocking everyone in the room. āYour Majesty, my own brother turned Strigoi and killed someone I cared about right in front of me. And then he tried to kill me.ā She turned and pointed, making sure the queen got a good look at her cheek. āAfter that, I had to decide whether to burn to death with my nephew or just kill us both outright with a suicidal jump.ā
When Tasha said no more, Tatiana waved an expectant hand. āYour point?ā
āMy point, Your Majesty, is that I have little left to be afraid of. Not anymore. Other Moroi? Theyāre afraid and endanger themselves further by choosing helplessness and depending on guardians for defense. If Iād known conventional fighting methods, if Iād had better control of my magic ā¦ā Tashaās resolve faltered for just a moment. Could she have helped Vinh take down Lucas and Moira if sheād known more? Would it have been enough? āWell, Your Majesty, things wouldāve turned out differently. I wonāt make the mistake of ignorance again, and Iām not going to take a guardian from someone who needs one more than me. I will not rely on another for my safety. Iāll take charge of my own safety. You told me once that I just needed to look pretty and keep my opinions to myself, but since it turns out neither is possible now, Iāll give you my opinion on what I think should be done. I think other Moroi should start taking a stand for themselves and demand tools and training to fight Strigoi. And I think the council and the crown should be facilitating that as well.ā
Until that moment, Tasha had never thought much about how silence had a sound. But it did. It was heavy and loud, and it filled the room. Tatiana studied her unblinkingly, and Tasha met that steely gaze with none of the fear sheād felt at the ball. As sheād said, she had little to be afraid of anymore.
āYour opinion is noted,ā the queen said. āAnd your leave is granted. The Court will, of course, maintain a place for your nephew to return to on school holidays.ā
āWhy would he do that?ā
āBecause he will need to go somewhere. Heās a minor. No doubt your other family will look afterāā
āI am his family,ā Tasha stated, eliciting gasps at the impudence of interrupting the queen. āAnd I will look after him. Heāll either come to me in Minneapolis on breaks, or Iāll go to him and stay at St. Vladimirās.ā
Sending Christian back to school had been one of the hardest decisions Tasha had ever had to make. She could have homeschooled him; it wasnāt unheard of for Moroi in isolation. Or she could have stayed at Court and sent him to its schools, where she could keep a more watchful eye on him. Ultimately, he had made the choice.
Itās okay, Aunt Tasha. Iāll go back. I can handle whatever happens.
She believed him but wished it wasnāt a battle he had to face. His eyesātoo old for someone so youngāhad told her that he knew what to expect. It would be like the reaction at Court, except adults had more tact than children. Usually.
āYou take a lot of risks,ā said Queen Tatiana. āBut so be it. There are plenty of other Ozeras. If you want to throw your lives away and traipse around the world, defenseless, I wonāt forbid it.ā
āNot defenseless,ā Tasha replied. āThe Ozeras will never be defenseless againāthe real Ozeras. My nephew and me. All the others? They just share the same name.ā
Tatiana smiled, a thin, tight-lipped smile with all the warmth of a marble bust. āIām sure Ronald will be very happy to hear that. And Iām sure the guardiansā personnel department will be glad they wonāt have to reallocate guardians to you after having wasted five others on your family.ā
āFour, Your Majesty. Four were killed.ā
āWere there? I lost track. But still, itās a relief. Thatās one less we have to replace.ā
āVinh Duy Khuc. Nolan Orr. Jonas Nowicki. Ira Locke.ā
Tatiana frowned. āI beg your pardon?ā
āThose āonesā you need to replace. Those are their names.ā Tasha returned the queenās earlier icy smile with one of her own. āI can write them down for you if itāll help you keep track.ā
āThat wonāt be necessary. Is there anything else you require before leaving, Natasha?ā
āNo, Your Majesty.ā
āThen you shouldnāt delay your journey. Iām sure there are many ⦠who will miss you.ā Tatianaās tone made it clear that she was not one of those people.
āOh, donāt worry. Iāll be back to visit. Like I said, Iām not going to keep my opinions to myself anymore, and I expect Iāll have a lot to say. I hope that wonāt be a problem, Your Majesty.ā
āNatasha, dear, you may posture all you like, but thereās very little you could say or do that would truly be a problem for me. Go.ā The queen waved in dismissal, possibly even boredom. āGo off on whatever quest you think will make you feel better.ā
Tasha left with her head held high, smiling at the scandalized onlookers. When she reached the antechamber, a young man held the door open. She looked over and recognized the visiting Russian novice whoād stayed with Christian.
āLady Ozera.ā
āMr. Belikov.ā
āYou remembered my name,ā he said in surprise. āJust like you remembered the others.ā
āOf course.ā
āYou ⦠you said some very brave things in there.ā He spoke diplomatically, cautiouslyāwell aware of the dangers of openly supporting controversial viewsābut something in his brown eyes told her he agreed with her.Ā Just like Vinh,Ā she thought.Ā So controlled and so good at his duty. So good at sitting on his feelings.
āI said what needed to be said, Mr. Belikov. How much longer will you be at Court?ā
āAnother week.ā
āWell, have a safe trip back. I hope we cross paths again.ā
He bowed his head deferentially. āMe too, Lady Ozera.ā
āNo need for that. You donāt work for me. Just call me Tasha.ā
Surprise flashed over him, and then the edges of his mouth turned up in amusement. āThen call me Dimitri ⦠Tasha.ā
Not like Vinh after all. Despite all her insistence on dropping the title, Vinh had obstinately kept with protocolāup until the last words heād ever spoken to her.
Tasha, get out of here!
Tears stung her eyes, and the wound of his lossāstill raw, still bleedingātore at her. One moment we were in each otherās arms, finally ready to cast aside all those stupid, archaic rules. And then he was gone. Just like that. The ache of his loss followed her everywhere. It was her new companion, one that made her dream of Vinhās face when the Strigoi had attacked and the screaming had followed. Tasha couldnāt imagine this hole in her heartāno, this hole in her lifeāwould ever heal, but if by some miracle it did, sheād made a vow to herself.Ā I will never endure this sort of pain again. If Iām able to love someone else one day, I will do whatever it takes to hold on to him. No matter the cost.
Realizing Dimitri was staring at her curiously, Tasha blinked a few times and tried to muster a pleasant tone and expression as she returned to the present.
āGoodbye, Dimitri.ā
Her flight arrived in Minneapolis far too late at night for her to do much more than go to bed and try to adjust to a human schedule. But she was up with the sun, out and about as the rest of the city opened for business and began its day. She had plans to apartment-hunt later in the afternoon, but first, she had a more important task.
Coffee in hand, Tasha stood at her hotelās main entrance and scanned both directions of the busy downtown street before her. At random, she chose to go left and walked two blocks before finding what she sought.
You donāt need guardians to teach you. Go to any city, and youāll find endless options.
āHello?ā she called as she pushed open a glass door. The empty roomās interior was dark and dusty and smelled like old sweat. Punching bags and weights were arranged around the walls, and a makeshift ring took over the center. After a few moments, a middle-aged human man emerged from a back-room.
āCan I help you?ā He was shorter than her, but his biceps looked bigger than her waist.
āYou teach boxing?ā
āThatās what the sign says.ā
Walk down a street and turn into the first place you find that can teach you any semblance of self-defense.
āCan you teach me?ā she asked.
The man tilted his head to one side and scratched his neck. āI can teach anyone. But youāre a skinny thing. Weād have to spend half our time just getting you stronger. You up for that?ā
Start with something, and go from there. Go until youāre un-stoppable.
āIām up for anything,ā she said.




















