hey that's hot
You are madness made manifest!!! You are Hell in my bloodstream!!!!?!????!?
i'm blasting rn

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hey that's hot
You are madness made manifest!!! You are Hell in my bloodstream!!!!?!????!?
i'm blasting rn

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my attempted very simplified visualization of Colchis' orbital turn/solar day as explained in Lorgar's primarch book, and interpreted by the ancient desert settlers
:3c for my personal notes but thought i would still share
very longgg passage excerpt below cut from Lorgar: Bearer of the Word containing more thorough details about this world's timekeeping
[[[head in my fucking handsss]]] Guilliman pleaseeee shut the fuck upppp Pleaseeee never speaaak
i was like "yeah g-boy is keeping quiet because he feels bad" but good fucking lord what is this shit. the audacity required to say that. (is there a book with his POV i'm so curious...) im cringing so hard this actually hurts.
I'm thinking of the way Lorgar grieves and self-flagellates for all of the atrocities he's committed/manipulated while only ever in the privacy of his quarters, and usually only if he's alone... Hm.
One obvious known is he usually doesn't want people seeing him vulnerable or punishing himself (very understandable).
I also feel that he is so, "for the greater good" minded, and, "for the furthering of his (personal👀) agenda in pursuit of the Truth", he's willing to sacrifice anything and anyone and ultimately his own humanity for it (reminds me of Emps and also his brothers, but a lot of the Primarchs are similar in this regard, honestly. They're all tactician-brained in their own ways).
However he hates it at the same time and punishes himself for all of the carnage he leaves in his wake in whatever ways he knows how to, whatever that makes sense to him. I feel like Lorgar does this practice where he attempts to take the pain he causes and replicates/condenses this suffering by inflicting all of it unto himself physically, because I remember him remarking to Nairo (in Bearer of the Word) that when Kor Phaeron beat him as punishment it agonized his heart(s) the most.
This is why I think sometimes if the pain he knows isn't enough, he will keep marks instead of healing them as reminders for the tragedies he's committed (looking at the scar he kept from Corvus).
I also think that when he goes to grieve, he's not only grieving those he's had to kill and sacrifice, he's also grieving the loss of his humanity- which is something he willfully gives up more and more of as the heresy proceeds into the far future. It's something he may or may not have much of anymore since his ascension to daemonhood- but I haven't gotten that far yet at all. However! I can assume he is in a constant state of Everything dialed up to a million now.
Anyway, these are my thoughts on him at this timeee :)c
i be tapping through a book on da tablet and then BOOM Garviel jumpscare
he Loken at me....

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reading the foreword to the NL Omnibus because gisa and shen inspired me to and Lo and Behold a huge Fucking Point that flies over everybody's head that i won't stop waving around addressed by ADB himself
the way i'm looking into an invisible camera rn
okay pull out my heart won't you
Erebus referring to Kor Phaeron as a jester in Child of Chaos is sending me. He gets it this evil guy really does get it because that's what KP is to me as well.