ɴᴀᴛᴀʟɪᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴏᴠᴀ: ᴅɪꜱᴀᴍʙɪɢᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
𝐪. who are you ?
𝐚. a thousand people. goddess of increase and death.
PART ONE: ORIGINS.
overarching motifs: genesis , birth through fire , feral child .
timeframe: 1928 - 1945
YOU WERE BORN. ( ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ. ) YOU HAD A CHILDHOOD. ( ᴀᴍʙɪɢᴜᴏᴜꜱ. ) STALINGRAD BURNS. ( ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ. ) YOU ARE THE LAST VESTIGES OF A DYING DYNASTY. ( ᴀᴍʙɪɢᴜᴏᴜꜱ. ) A MOTHER, A SOLDIER, AND THE HEAT OF THE FLAMES. ( ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ? )
[ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 ] * pоманова, паталья. an enigma; childhood lost in the annals of history. gathering dust, mixing with the ashes of a city burning. the legend goes like this: a mother’s selfless love keeps the child safe from the flames. the war claims its victims, feasts on the blood of innocent, she perseveres.
𝐪. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ?
( excerpt from the diary of ɪᴠᴀɴ ᴘᴇᴛʀᴏᴠɪᴄʜ ʙᴇᴢᴜᴋʜᴏᴠ. translated from russian. more citations needed. )
[ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 ] * russia’s daughter. rescued by ivan, natalia begins her new life. he raises her as his own: on the battlefield, among men who would give their life for her, she learns love and compassion, sees that though winter may claim the body, it has no ownership over the heart. with the help of ʟᴏɢᴀɴ ʜᴏᴡʟᴇᴛᴛ, who natalia calls ❝ LITTLE UNCLE ❞, she is trained in combat. the war waits on no one and, blinded by idealized patriotism, she wants more.
[ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝟏 ] * soldier. wife. mother. no promise rings on the battlefield. nikolai is sweet and gentle, holds her hand, kisses her on the cheek, teaches her how to aim a rifle so the recoil won’t shake her body whole. she’s fifteen going on sixteen, he’s sixteen going on seventeen, they swear their love to each other in a ceremony without a priest. love finds a way. she hopes.
[ 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐒 𝟏 ] * widow. 🇹🇼 ! 🇨🇭🇮🇱🇩 🇩🇪🇦🇹🇭. no promises on the battlefield. nikolai gets swallowed by russia’s winter, and their baby is stillborn. memories in the form of a ribbon tied around her finger, no tombstone and one unmarked grave. she names the baby pоза, dreams of roses. she mourns.
( I A GIRL CALLED WOMB // A FIELD OF THICK YELLOW KNIVES. )
overarching motifs: love lost , chaos (cosmogony) , missing sun
timeframe: 1945 - 1970
[ 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 ] * i swallow ashes. loss fresh in mind, it is easy to twist the narrative for those who want to. promised retribution to the enigmatic enemy who took away her husband, natalia joins department x’s ʀᴇᴅ ʀᴏᴏᴍ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴀᴍ. at 17 she is the oldest of the girls, but also the best: by the sixth month mark, she has already killed four of the twenty eight girls. she unbecomes.
[ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐒 𝟐 ] * define womanhood. james teaches her english and how to sleep with one eye open. it’s stolen moments in showers, in dilapidated motel rooms, behind closed doors, whispers of love hushed from fear of being heard. alexei teaches her how to spread her wings: ballet shoes and walks in the dark, his hand in her hair. he calls her winter and fire in the same breath, she kisses him silent. in the end, both of them are disposed of, both used to lodge the knife deeper into her heart. one freezes, the other burns, neither die. if i love you, is that a fact or a weapon ?? she feels the puppet strings tighten.
[ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄 ] * soviet peril. america is so different one can feel it in the air. madame natasha steps foot on the land of the free, sees its shackles for what they are, sets herself on fire. failed missions, a father who would walk to the edge of the world for her, agency found once again. mother russia mourns, licks at her wounds, but the widow stands victorious, steps forth into awakening. identity hanging precariously between truth and lie, she throws it all in the river, starts again. crucified for the sins of her motherland, she is villain and hero in turn, but she is her own. she chooses.
overarching motifs: renaissance , madonna , coming of spring
timeframe: 1970 - 2000
[ 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 ] * ophelia’s lament. first choice: save daredevil from drowning, observe the way it feels good, right, pieces finally coming together. something still rattles inside her, but it’s no longer her soul. natasha strips herself of soviet icons; makes her own suit, redesigns her widow bites, throws away the hair dye. she breathes new air into her lungs. however, she does not become the antithesis of who she was before. natalia’s relationship with heroism is one fraught with contradictions, and she deals in secrets and shadows.
[ 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐀 ] * widow’s curse. the journey to ownership is not smooth. she wages wars with morality, strips herself of personas only to build new ones, trying them for size until she finds one that fits. death follows her ━━ for she is the black widow, but death is more friend than foe. intermittently, she works alongside daredevil, then the champions, only to become a permanent member of the avengers. she finds comfort in others and provides comfort, and when ivan chooses to go back to russia to be with the rest of his family in his old age, she sees him off with a smile. the soldiers of her childhood, the heroes she fights alongside, they are eternally linked to her, not by blood, but by choice. she raises.
𝐪. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀ ꜱʟᴀᴠɪᴄ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ? ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴀ ʀᴜꜱꜱɪᴀɴ ꜱᴘʏ?
natalia, natasha, natalie, nadine, latrodectus mactans. one woman, a thousand faces. one woman, a thousand lives lived. the truth bears little significance: she is who she wants to be. she is who she says she is. and only she can ever know what pasts and people shaped the person she is today.
