#overelaboration

Let’s talk about my hair. Now, you’d think, what a boring topic – someone else’s hair. Well true, I do agree with you. But hair is hair, isn’t it? Curly, straight, wavy or annoying, it’s just abominable, yes?

My hair is something I worry about occasionally. Some might argue that I worry about it too much. In fact, I don’t. I don’t worry that much about it; I just hate it. More than my hair, I hate how my face looks with it. How the hair frames my face. 

Because, if being truthful, it doesn’t frame my face at all. It looks awful. And that’s when I spend a lovely amount of money to snip it right off.

Now, of course, what’s there’s to hate? It’s just hair! It’s going to grow back! Yes it is! Also, did I mention that it’s going to take over three years to grow back to its original length, when I looked sort of respectable? Oh, I’m forgetful like that.

I peer at myself in the mirror, wondering how, at 20 years of age, I still look like a child. 

I try to flatten my hair, especially at the back, where it’s all matted and weird…but. It won’t flatten. It’s stubborn; it refuses to look anything close to flat.

Giving the ol’ finger to the hair. Always works. 

Now I’m angry. Oh because what a tragedy.

At this point, my brain gives in. Remember, it’s just hair. Nothing else. But my brain brings in all the things associated with hair – social life, friends, personality, confidence, being overwhelmed and etc and five minutes later I lie on the bed, staring into space. 

What went wrong? Since when did hair, PUNY HAIR, have the power to ruin my day? 

Let’s do a little math here. Remember, I failed at math, so my calculations are PROBABLY wrong.

Hair looking good = confidence. But if hair not looking good = low confidence. Our constant here is overthinking. Try it sometime, it’s really fun. And we all know overthinking = everything bad ever. 

If you’ve ever had trouble with hair, I understand that it’s a big deal. Hair is not the problem in itself, it’s everything around it. I know. It’s okay. Yes, it sucks. No, don’t go bald, it’s going to make it worse.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to go and look at my hair.

Much love and disappointment,

The stuff I think about a lot is the stuff which doesn’t come very handy in life. It’s the stuff you reflect back upon and wonder - oh I was this stupid. How come?

There’s no answer. You were just that stupid.

Anxiety is something I’ve always dealt with all my life, but it only worsened as I began college. Bills, living alone...jobs? 

No jobs. Let’s not talk about jobs at this moment, my anxiety might act upon again. But then again, isn’t that what we’re talking about? Take a look at this list. You’ll probably get an inkling of what goes on in my head.

Getting overwhelmed is like a hobby now. I often play the game “Who can get overwhelmed in an extremely short amount of time”. I usually win.

But deep within me, I still do believe that I was born to do something incredible, something absolutely crazed up.

“You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one.”

What do you know, Lennon? You’re dead.

Let’s consider the second point on the list. “How to get from Point A to Point B”. Seems simple enough, yes? Now, let’s consider this lovely diagram.

From the diagram, you may conclude that there’s a direct correlation to proximity of wrong location, that is, Point C to heightening of unnecessary anxiety which concludes to the increasing ‘what the fuckness’ of the situation. It’s simple if you see it like that.

Let’s continue with the list.

And finally, of course I worry about real things. I’m not a terrible person. Well alright, maybe I am, but I’m not truly terrible. I do care for others 10% of the time that I breathe. It’s something.

Oh, okay, I’m a terrible person, fine.

To be fair, I had dreams of contesting for elections once upon a time. 

Much love and more disappointment,