I wanna talk about my first serious relationship. What I consider a mature serious relationship. I dated this guy from 16-18ish give or take. If it was you and your reading this sorry but I'm about to lay it out there to help other people. It started at a party- I use to go to this house and they had the best fucking parties- we would smoke a bunch of weed and just hangout and all our friends came over- so rad and wish I would have soaked in the moments better. It's all about living in the now and really taking in the moment so please do that. I was with a good girlfriend of mine and it was so weird it was like two guys and it was like who do I pick to makeout with.. wtf. So I had a choice between someone I knew well who I knew was a player or this mysterious guy that I vaughley knew. So mystery guy is was. He had braces never kissed a guy with braces but full on makeout sesh it was. I went home and continued on with life no big deal, and then I hear rocks.. yes movie shit the boy comes over and throws rocks at your window to get your attention. He came over and I can't remember the complete time line but we ended up doing the deed on one of his hang outs. It was my first real* time because my first time didn't work out the best so I don't even count it. So after that we were forever bonded. He was super adventurous which I love. He loved camping and had the coolest best friends. We would hangout by the river and hang empty liquor bottles on a tree- we started doing ecstasy on occasion and we really just lived a really carefree fun hippie like lifestyle. We listed to bob Dylan and the Beatles and a lot of folk music. His mom is a folk artist so it was really neat and her house was so gorgeous. Too gorgeous for words. He drove this red truck and I loved him driving me around- we would always listen to the blonde on blonde album and everytime I hear it to this day it takes me right back to that little red Nissan cruising on all the back roads. Ecstasy led to acid which led to pills... lots and lots of pills. I really don't know what I was thinking I guess he thought it was a good time so I thought it was a good time. Until I overdosed. I actually died... twice I flat lined. I remember he said he loved methadone so I got some money together so we could drive to Clinton and go to the mcdonalds and get his favorite drug. I was so happy to make him happy. It was my first time doing methadone. I got 10 pills and he got a few. I had more then him and I planned to sell half at school. I didn't need them all. I don't have an addictive personality so not having them didn't bother me. I'd get rid of them and help someone else get high no big deal, but he told me no. He said I'd "get in trouble" he "didn't want me to get in trouble" in all reality that was his method of control he wanted the pills and he was gonna make me feel bad so I'll give them to him- stupid for him I just took the rest cuz I'm a bitch, and hate to have people make me feel guilty about shit I shouldn't feel guilty for- stupid for me I thought by taking them and not selling them at school I'd make him feel better knowing I wasn't gonna take them to school. When in reality he didn't actually care. I was borderline 17 at the time. I took I think a total of 5 and got high and I was high for awhile couple hours then we started talking about he other ones and I did the rest- thought I'd get more high too. I took 9 1/2 in total. I have him a pity 1/2 pill cuz he was begging. We fell asleep and he woke up at 530am .. I was turning blue. He screamed for my brother and my brother came down saw me- My bf at the time dialed 911 and hung up on them because they made him mad- never got the details but my brother thankfully called back acted calm and got me the help I needed. That's true love. If it wasn't for my brother I'd be dead. They told me when the ambulance carried me out they hit me on the kitchen counter. My brother was told with no license to the hospital 20 mins away because they could tell my bf was fucked up still. I woke up in the ambulance... to be continued.
