Ingredients:

– 3 eggs (cracked, like me) – Mushrooms (for the little things I forgot to process) – Red onion (for sharp, sudden thoughts) – Feta (crumbled, like my resolve) – Slices of salame (because something’s always doing the most) – Half an avocado (soft but trying) – Kewpie mayo (for the illusion of control) – A chaotic drizzle of Valentina (for emotional heat) – One tortilla (to wrap it all up and pretend it’s fine)

Instructions:

Scramble the eggs while overthinking a text from 3 days ago.

Add all ingredients to the pan without order or plan. Just like your day.

Panic-fold it when it’s not ready.

Burn one side while contemplating your purpose.

Wrap it in the tortilla. Force a smile. Eat standing up.

Serving Suggestion:

With a side of cry ideally around 11:47 PM, while staring at your calendar. Bonus points if your cat watches in judgmental silence.