#over working

Edward doesn’t grieve like a normal person and he probably never will.  Edward does not process death well. The first thing he does when his mother passes at five years old is to damn her passing and declare that he will be the first to beat the odds and raise her from the dead.  

Why? Why is this his course of action? 

Because he doesn’t have to feel the pain if she’s coming back. He doesn’t have to mourn her if she’s not dead.  He refuses to mourn to the point that he numbs himself to the sheer concept of her being dead for SIX YEARS.  

He spends six years, dedicating his entire life to bringing his mother back and keeps promising his brother in his arrogance that it’ll work.  He refuses to accept death all together - but it’s not just death. There’s more than just mourning death there’s mourning just loss in general and he spends an entire decade refusing to speak about his father and worse he won’t let Alphonse speak of him in his presence.  

Grief drives him.

Let me say that again. 

Grief drives Edward’s actions. 

The loss of his Father. The death of his Mother.  The deaths of his Uncle and Aunt (The Rockbells). The loss of their bodies. 

 He is constantly moving his entire life in the search of trying to regain that which has been lost, because he refuses to accept things as they are therefore grieve them.  

He’s numbed over his heart. Even when he tells Rose at the beginning of Brotherhood

“People don’t come back from the dead Rose! Not Ever. Not EVER.”  

He looks like he’s holding himself back.  

Edward’s entire character is surrounded by the concept of grief and mourning.  And he just won’t do it.  He doesn’t have to grieve something if it’s not gone.  Now does he? 

He literally puts himself through so much psychical and mental hell that he doesn’t give himself time to think about the things he’s lost. 

His father. His Mother. His Aunt and Uncle. His arm and leg. His Brother’s body.  His Home. His childhood. His adoptive little sister (Nina). His adoptive father figure (Hughes).

Edward’s journey is coming to terms with loss and to finally be willing to let people into his stone cold heart. He iced his heart over before it was made Fullmetal.