Drawn In: Is Being Too Busy Wrong?

“Ahhhhhhhhhh,” the only woman in the room drew a deep breath as she woke up and opened her eyes. She sat up on the only bench in the room and looked around and all of the blank, white walls. There were no doors or windows, only the bench on which she sat; but it was peaceful. Before too much time had passed, one of the walls opened like one of those secret passageways you’d expect to find in a…

Burning The Candle At Both Ends

Even as a kid, my Mom would tell me to slow down a little. “Quit saying yes to everything and everybody.” she’d say, “You’re burning the candle at both ends and you’ll have a price to pay when there’s nothing left.”

I am good at a few things, but I am literally a Rock Star when it comes to over committing myself. My husband tells me I can pack 10 pounds of dirt into a 5 pound sack in nothin’…

Thank you all for joining me for this the inaugural first piece. Before I begin I want to let you all know I will be laying out at least two works per week (more if time allows). Typically one will concentrate on the sporting world and the other on the business world. Thank you again for being a part of this journey. More often than not we hear, see, or even experience the overwhelming pressure of over commitment* in athletics (this can also be the case for many other activities including work, school etc.). And the saying that everyone has heard is, “”fill in the blank” is life!” Although the idea behind this concept can be positive, it is when this concept is taken to the extreme is when it can be detrimental.

Let’s take a moment and think about when you have heard or even said, “My sport is my life!” Was it just something you heard or said because of the passion for that sport or was it something more? Today’s piece is about, what I like to call, “over commitment”. Before I finished typing that last sentence I could sense that a vast majority of you are thinking, “Isn’t commitment a good thing?” or “You can’t be too committed!” Well, yes you can. Please don’t misunderstand me, for any individual at any level commitment is KEY in having sustained success. Going further, the level of commitment even changes, for example in college athletics and especially the pros. But, we must realize that to be a healthy well rounded individual, we need a balance in our lives. It is at this crossroads athletes can lose sight of other things around them, be it relationships, school, personal reflection time*, etc., and fall into a kind of tunnel vision and dive head first into this trap of over commitment.

I’ll give two examples: The first example is of a young baseball player with loads of talent and a very strong work ethic. He loved playing the game and had been playing ever since his tee-ball years. He was a good prospect as a junior in high school and had many opportunities to go off to college and play, but he ended up not playing his senior year and in turn not in college at all. This was a complete mystery to those that did not know him or more so his father. His father had played collegiately and very successfully, even making a minor league roster. What happened, you might be wondering? Let’s take a step back and look at a normal day for him starting from his eighth grade year through his junior year during baseball season. (I won’t go into extreme detail, but just to give you an idea) 6:00 a.m. – morning workout with personal trainer 8:00 a.m. – 3:30 p.m. – school 4:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m. – baseball practice 7:00 p.m. – 8:15 p.m. – personal trainer baseball specific *game days replace practice and personal trainer *weekends are also consumed by one or both personal trainers and/or “dad training days” Now this may not seem too bad to the untrained eye, but let’s look and think about at a few things more in depth. I’ll ask some questions and you try and answer them. First, how early would he have to get up? When would he have to go to bed? When does he have time for….. homework, friends, relaxing, any kind of relationship? Answers: early, early, and NEVER! Take into account all of these factors and multiple it tenfold during summer baseball. (Including summer classes) Ok I could go on and on, but I think you all get the gist of where I am heading. This is a great example of how over commitment ultimately led to burnout* and him quitting the game all together. Now some of you might look at his schedule and think that you have to work hard if you want to get to the top. And I would agree with you, but not at the expense of having a balance in your life. To put this example into perspective, I asked him at the end of his senior year why he chose not to continue the game that he seemed to love so much. We talked about a few different things, but the one comment that stood out to me and brings it all back full circle is he lost his love for the game, it became a chore and he was not willing to put the time in anymore. It had completely consumed his life and he felt as though he was missing out on so much. This next example is very straight forward. I had a young man I coached in wrestling become a national qualifier in college after giving up on the sport after high school. He told me, after a practice, that I was the best coach he ever had. I was flattered and said thank you, but nothing more. I got home that night and had some personal reflection time and thought about why he had said that and all the reasons that let up to the comment. Although I had some ideas I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why. So, the following day before practice I pulled him aside and I asked him just that. “What made you say that I was the best coach you have ever had?” He responded with, “Where I come from, everyone lives and breathes wrestling. That is all they understand and that is how they coach! But you are different. You love the sport, but you understand that we have other things going on in our lives and you respect that. You ask me about my life and help me with things outside of the wrestling room. It means a lot to me and I wanted to tell you.” I said thanks again and how much I appreciated his openness with a smile on my face, but I wanted to cry. I felt so much joy in my heart that I could help him see how important it is to have a well-balanced life. These two examples give you a good idea of the concept of over commitment and how when taken to the extreme can be detrimental, but when kept in perspective a healthy level of commitment and balance can lead to positivity and sustained success.

- “I value my work, but I don’t define myself by it. When I work, I do excellent work, and when I am home, I am immersed there.” – Rebecca Diaz-Bonilla

*over commitment – committing to something to an extreme level that over takes one’s life and leaves little to no room for other opportunities

*personal reflection time – time set aside to reflect on one’s life

sometimes after not having gone to the gym in roughly three weeks due to moving combined with a hellacious schedule you decide you shouldn't look at what the workout is because if it's bad you wont' go...

then you get to the gym...you see the workout...and you think to yourself. 

then you waddle to your car after the aforementioned workout of doom. 

so, currently i am working a lot. all stuff i love. but, i'm tired and i have a terrible sinus infection that i have not had the time to go get treated.

the other night i was scrolling through the book face and this came up in my newsfeed and it literally made me cry. 

work to life balance...you need to get figured the fuck out. as dolly once said, 'better get to livin'' 

Unique Genius highly recommends daily meditation. i do to.

i think i’ll try to do my meditation on line with this blog.

last night’s PTC meeting was a whirlwind of activity. there’s tons of stuff that needs to get done. there’s tons of stuff i would love…