Because I need answers. Like. Yesterday.

I don’t write fanfiction. Like. Ever. So go easy on me. It’s my first time.

“Ana!?” Will awakened with a start. He looked to his left where Anastasia was stirring from her peaceful slumber, seeming only slightly disturbed by his calling of her name. He reached out with both arms, lifting her tired body and holding her tightly in his lap.

Let me preface all of this by saying, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. Being relatively new to tumblr, I don’t post a lot of my opinions, mostly out of fear. Crippling, white-knuckled fear. Life was much simpler, albeit far less interesting, before I joined tumblr. Before I was alyssylum, I was just Alyss, watching and loving every. single. episode. of  Once Upon a Time and Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. I was free to feel everything naturally without fear of experiencing the “wrong” emotion. I could love and hate characters and their actions and then change my mind! Or “jump ship” so to speak.

Before joining tumblr, I received more than fair warning from one of my close friends. I know that “shipping wars” exist if only because I’ve seen the brutal aftermath. Most of the posts I have read are positive and I mostly see friendly discussions with respectful but differing opinions. Still, for the first few months, I scrolled and read and loved and cried and felt, and I kept it to myself. I don’t know why I was so nervous. Honestly, it took me a while to figure out that “Shipping Wars” was not a boring late-night History Channel exclusive. 

Feeling a bit more confident, I’m still apprehensive of claiming any particular ship. See, I love the show. Every episode leaves me with something to think about and mull over and keep my awake throughout the following week. If it didn’t, I wouldn’t watch it. I have the utmost respect for and confidence in the writers. Even when something happens that I don’t like, I soon accept it because I understand why it had to happen that way. Even though I ship CaptainSwan, I cried like a baby at Neal’s death. At the mention of the word “Tallahassee,” my eyes still well up with tears. Even when I don’t understand where the writers are going, I enjoy the little things along the way and have faith that the path will lead us exactly where we were meant to be. 

It was for that reason that I first watched OUTIW. Also, my favorite story of all time has always been Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. I wore out the live action VHS tape at our local video rental store. My parents had to replace the tape when I was six. I don’t just love it, I adore it. I can’t make anyone understand. I love every adaptation and interpretation I have ever seen. OUTIW was no exception. I watched the first few episodes on Hulu due to my busy schedule. After that, I made certain I was sitting in front of the TV every Thursday night. 

I say all of this to say, I am a Scarlet Queen shipper. I know this because tumblr has told me as such. They are my OTP. They are canon. They are the White King and White Queen of Wonderland. Now that Will in is Storybrooke, I have a lot of concerns. Mostly, I fear, that his entire backstory will be disregarded. In 4A, I would get overly excited at Will’s presence. I thought we were moving closer to some answers. However, he has seemingly forgotten about his desperate search and the folded up picture of The Red Queen found in his pocket and has moved on happily with his life, accepting that he just sort of belongs in Storybrooke. I have accepted that Ana will never join OUAT. Ever. I have accepted that I may never get answers as to what happened to her. Ever. 

Even though this kills me, I want to be okay with Scarlet Beauty because I recognize that I may have no other choice. *heart shatters* I want to know if there are any Scarlet Beauty shippers out there who watched Wonderland in its entirety. I’m looking for sound logical reasoning that may convince me that everything will be okay, even with Belle and Will together. I’ve been trying. This is what I have so far:

1.) Will gets along better with girls. Alice was Will’s best friend. Before Alice, was his sister. Will and Belle would be adorable best friends. They definitely seem like more than that, though. Growing up, my best friend was a guy. He didn’t bring me roses, especially romantic single long-stemmed ones. And we never held hands. Except, wait, yes. We did. When we were scared to death on a rollercoaster and when I was having stitches taken out and he was about to faint and needed to be comforted. But we definitely never kissed... definitely not on the mouth. The point is, I think Will and Belle would get along wonderfully as friends. But Will has stated before that he’s not attracted to “nice, normal” women. But he also said he’s always found “strong women” attractive. Which brings me to my next point. 

2.) Will and Belle have been through very similar circumstances. Belle with Rumple and Will with Ana. Anastasia was a bit of a bitch at first, to be honest. She screwed up. She chose wealth and power over Will which is definitely a parallel to what Belle has dealt with with Rumple. Except, it’s not at all as severe. (That we know of. Who knows. Maybe she backtracked and went back to her old ways.) However, she felt deep remorse for everything she did. The only reason she did the horrible things she did was to go back in time and fix what she had screwed up. To get Will back. He was all she ever wanted. Going back to her cockney accent, no longer the Red Queen, but Anastasia, she cried and begged and pleaded with Will to forgive her and to take her back. And it killed me. Because we got to see who she was under her royal facade. And as OUTIW drew to an end, they were married and ruled over Wonderland together. BUT if she went back to her old ways, I could definitely see Will trying to move on. Belle has been to Hell and back with Rumple. I don’t want to see her take him back ever. Ever. But does that mean I want her and Will together? 

No. Not right now. I’m not convinced. I need answers. I need closure.

"if you're into that kind of thing" about Robin being into "evil queens"

and then he was like, "which I get" and I'm like