because I'm greedy, 13 + bawson ❤️
13: “How can anyone not be afraid of love?”
“Spoken like a divorced guy in his 30′s, Lawson,” Blip says teasingly.
Mike levels a glare at the baseball player beside him, not even acknowledging the comment. Blip is one of the lucky ones, he found the person he wanted to be with early in life and has never looked back or questioned his choice. He has two beautiful children and a partner that understands and supports him, he has no reason to fear love. It’s been nothing but good to him.
For Mike, and for many others, love makes him trepidatious, makes him nervous and antsy. It’s different when you’ve had it, then lost it. It makes the possibility of loosing it again so much more real. If it happened once, who’s to say it won’t happen again.
Looking across the clubhouse, he watches Ginny laugh uproariously at something Dusty said, throwing her head back and letting her joy shine through unashamedly.
Mike wonders if he’ll get to a place where looking at Ginny’s doesn’t cause a sudden barrage of unshakable fear and blind hope to surge through him simultaneously. He thinks that’s what is actually terrifying him, that he’s feeling hope for the first time in a long time.
Hope is just as dangerous and frightening as love, it sets you up for failure, for disappointment. He wants to think its not inevitable but all his personal experience would suggest otherwise.
Ginny catches his eye and smiles at him, wide and friendly, gesturing to the gym where they’d planned to go over the hitters.
“It’s love you’re afraid of, huh?” Blip’s voice startles him just a little. When he glances over, his teammate has a knowing look on his face, telling Mike his few moments of pinning where observed by his friend.
Once again, Mike elects not to answer.
“Cause it seems to me like love sounds an awful lot like ‘Ginny’, wouldn’t you say?” Mike frissons at his Blip’s tone, astute and teasing.
Rather than argue uselessly, he just gets up and heads to the gym. He doesn’t let himself think about just how right Blip is, or that ‘Ginny’ and ‘love’ have become synonymous and undeniably linked for him for longer than he’d liked to admit.
Instead, he waits for Ginny, feeling hopeful and afraid.