#ourfam

Dearest Roger,

Even though your three sisters moved overseas The bonds we have put my mind at ease Because I know what you value most Whether on the Pacific or East Coast Around the globe or much nearer There is no one that you hold dearer Than family or a close friend And for each of us backwards you will bend

I know I said a long time ago Something stupid to my little bro Along the lines of being smart, but lazy And that was definitely an oopsy-daisy I was wrong and I hope you please Will accept my sincere apologies And just so we don’t an argument start I wasn’t wrong about the smart part ;) Not only are you clever But as diligent and hard-working as ever The goal-getting, fun-loving, playful you Has built up the successful Guru Where people can relax and meet And enjoy your company oh so sweet

Whenever you are around Fun and laughter will soon abound You’ve always been one to have some fun Whether you’re chilling or on the run And when you send messages to the wrong WhatsApp group We get a glimpse of the mischief you have with your boy troupe With whom you go out for a drink or two Or maybe just one too few When playing or talking sports With your trusted cohorts You shoot the breeze and the hoop To keep at bay that dreaded beer boop

The classroom is no longer where you teach But inquisitive minds you still reach Tyler and Ashton are very lucky indeed That their dad with them will play and read Caroline got herself a good catch Because now you’ve finally met your match When we FaceTime each other across the miles It’s time for laughter and for smiles On days that you take Popo for lunch She knows that you must love her a bunch You’re grounded in strong family values And the right thing to do is what you choose

Mom is very happy to have you there For her and our extended family to care Although we may be distant by flight We’re close without having you in our sight So here’s to you, the youngest one Your faraway sisters love you a ton!

Love, Di, and with liberty, Sha and Nats

Dear Mom,

While the Yen Saan Hotel was not quite the Savoy It was where I found my impressionable Swazi Joy Almost every holiday from school was spent in the Ezulwini Valley Some productive and some just to dillydally

Our first home had a phone Without any dialing tone Instead we had to crank the lever To get the operator on the receiver And while technology has since upped its game African thunderstorms still cut us off the same Slipping and sliding up that red muddy road That every year continued to erode Taught us the joy and fear of driving through the rough And showed us how you, Joy, could be tough Navigating goats and cows on the windy trip to Mbabane And driving to Jo'burg like we were on the autobahn

Click, clack, tab, tap, swish, and pirrr-ring Daily menus we typed serving duck peking From invoicing, to banking, hosting and bow-tie making I enjoyed it all except for the dreaded stock-taking But all the above was innocent and mild And generally expected from an Asian child You trusted us to be left to our own devices when not needed And we pretty much were free to roam the property unheeded So, as mentioned in a previous post I learned about vices and contraband earlier than most

While you were busy working around the clock Maybe you were in the office or at the wok With the chic disco cashier I had a midnight chat And she told me the reason why she didn't get fat Was because of the calories she was burning With all the tricks she was turning So at thirteen I met my first lady of the night And she was nice and kind, and well, alright

People drove across the border to gamble and watch a blue movie And partake in things that would make them feel groovy I remember watching the driver of the John Deere Mowing the grounds randomly without a care As it was the "Swazi gold" he'd smoked that day That decided which parts would become hay One day when the projectionist was nowhere to be seen And there was an adult movie in the disco to screen The sound of flapping tape at the end of a reel Was our cue to thread the next one and a new scene reveal Before dashing back out as quickly as we could SInce I doubt the movie was any good

Let's not forget the bookshelf in the hotel lobby Where the genres where not about what to do as a hobby But more along the literary line Of many trysts clandestine A cousin of ours not to be named Or at this time to be ashamed Who is about six months older than I I wonder who it could be, oh my Would secretly loan the Happy Hooker To pass the time between games of snooker

Dearest Mom,

By the time I was just sweet sixteen There were many forbidden things that I had done and seen Starting from before the age of ten You and dad were working nightly at the restaurant when Sharon and I would dip into the booze Before it was time for our nightly snooze We'd scoop out the chocolate nibs from that yummy bottle of liqueur Knowing what we were doing wasn't so innocent and pure Alas, we weren't smart enough to know at the time That liquid:solid ratios would expose our crime

Then there was the Babycham in the fridge drawer Which until we were caught, made us snore And somehow you figured out that Natalie at age five Like her older sisters wanted to strive So she was sneaking a daily sip From the miniature sherry barrel's leaky drip While you could have punished us You didn't really make a fuss And from then the lesson began that when kids get up to mischief There's no need for penalties unreasonable and stiff Unless they put themselves or others in harms way Rather consider the message of what they should keep at bay

And maybe you shouldn't have hidden it before Roger was four Because today he's the one who can drink so much more ;) But it was after you and dad moved to Swaziland That I really learned about vices and contraband So stay tuned for the next post About how my time with you there meant the most Love, Di

p.s. after this post, Mom sent this.  Wonder what 45 year plus Sherry tastes like?

Dearest Popo,

So glad I had a chance to speak to you today.

  You:   So, how old are you now?   Me:    I just turned 50   You:   Oh.. I didn't realize you where that ... (brief pause)... high age

Like you, I hope I never get "old"!

Happy 97th Birthday!

Love, Di

Dear Mal,

You once joked that I brought home the bacon and you the rinds But if truth be told, you bring home the real treasures of many kinds

You show us that giving is far more rewarding than receiving That working hard and smart with purpose lead to achieving That enjoying an experience trumps gathering a possession That confidences should be treated with privilege and discretion That life is about the relationships we build and nurture And about acquiring knowledge and skills like a never-ending searcher

You teach us to never be judgmental But to be kind and to be gentle To always put life into perspective And to remember to be introspective

You remind us to stay current with technology and world events As it keeps our minds fresh and boredom prevents Your wisdom, friendship, and selflessness can't be outdone You feed our soul with music, laughter, and fun

Love and appreciation always, Di

  (Pics circa 1981)

Dear Sha and Nats, A while ago as I started to write to each of you, I realized that I couldn’t have two sisters so different to each other (and to me) in so many ways. But it got me to think about what you had in common that made you the strong women you are today.

Two sisters To whom life has thrown more than a few twisters A childhood shaped in part by the loss of our dad Who knows what a life we might have had But we learned there is no point in sitting and moping And we had to develop skills in hoping and coping It happened in a different way and pace for each of us And having strong family support was a huge plus Now looking back at our adventures in S.A. and Swaziland We can be grateful for a youth that was far from conventional or bland :)

Two suitcases Held everything you each had to establish new bases In the unfamiliar land of the USA Without knowing what would come with each new day Sharon, in your twenties and single Came to have fun and mingle But decided to stay For more than just play And had to find work That came with a green card perk Natalie, in your thirties, married, and with a one year old child Your first years here were definitely not mild Life was rough And you had to be strong and tough To look beyond the new immigrant hardship And trust that it would turn out to be a good trip

Two survivors With very different drivers No matter how your life was steered You both re-directed and persevered Your journeys have given you what it takes To work through illnesses and aches Unpleasant situations and jobs That have intruded in globs But more than the roads you’ve pounded That have taken you this far and kept you grounded Are the qualities you have that I admire And to which I will always aspire Your unselfish generosity of anything that one can give To help others a better life live

You are both Too special   xoxo Di