#ota yapping

In dead last in the F tier, we have... The King's Man (Archie Reid) and Tenet (Ives). I am sorry 😭 I wanted to like these both - Archie as I love the Kingsmen films, and Ives because I'm a Christopher Nolan fan. But I just. Could not tell you a single thing about either film if quizzed about them, despite watching them both 2-3 times, other than 'I think that was the worst Kingsmen film?' 😭Maybe I need to give them another try MOVING ON~

Sneaking between E and D, we have... Age of Ultron (Pietro). Guys. G u y s. I WANTED to love Pietro! ATJ with a vaguely eastern block accent and a twin? Sign me the fuck up~! AND James Spader in the same film?? A N D RDJ/Iron Man (my beloved)?? B U T 😭 It just felt like a speed run of 'how quickly can we cram Wanda into the Avengers' for me, and I just. Was never gonna be a fan of the overall film that started the cracks for the core avengers 🥲Not to mention Pietro got BARELY any screentime. So. Here we are.

D ranking! I actually feel like I've been lowkey harsh on all of these, because I genuinely really enjoyed The Wall, Chatroom, and Outlaw King. B u t... I'll be honest, I'm probably no gonna rush to rewatch any of them. Issac was good but not as good as Will (Fuze) for me; James Douglas (Outlaw/King) was great! But I wasn't a huge fan of the overall film. And Chatroom (William), I probably would rewatch again? But I'm not sure how well it's really aged.

D-C ranking, we have Kickass slipping in here. I'm due a rewatch because it has been a m i n u t e. If I was just watching for ATJ? It'd be at least a C. But I can't get past some of the other cringe Nicolas Cage I'm looking at you.

C! Jamie. Jamiiiiiiie (28 Years Later) I love you and wanna push you higher, but without any update on his storyline in Bone Temple, and with no news still on the third part of the new trilogy, I just. Can't say it's one I'd rank higher. I love the worldbuilding. I love the complexity of his character (man is flawed as fuck as we stan that). But he's just not the same level as some of the other wonderful characters.

As for Ray in Nocturnal Animals... I still cannot decide if I hate this movie? I think I'm not a huge fan of the directors stylistic choices, and don't get me wrong, Ray is a vile character. But... he's also fascinating? Unlike anything else I can think of that ATJ's done? I would rewatch just Ray's sections I think, though I wouldn't call the overall experience a pleasant or enjoyable one. But definitely a challenging one (in a good way?).

C-B tier, somehow, we have Anna Karenina sneaking in here when realistically it should be at least on pause until I've finished it (I am still. Halfway 🥲). But Vronsky is too beautiful to rank any lower than this, so... we're putting it here! Also, I lowkey love the stage-like setting, the whole set design and colour palette of the film, and there are SO many great actors in this. I wish I'd seen it sooner.

B tier my beloveds~! I feel bad for relegating Friedrich to B-tier. I love Nosferatu - the overall film, the director, the whole dang cast. It definitely rates higher than Fuze for me (maybe it should be an A-B inbetweener after all), but it's nowhere near my top 3 ATJ roles and films, so, poor Friedrich had to slip to B. Will (Fuze) may be getting unfairly bolstered by this being my favourite of ATJ's more recent roles. He's a bit of a blank slate, but I love his potential. I wish more people would give him a try!

ON TO THE A TIER~! ATJ's music video performance gets an A-tier rank because HEAR ME OUT -> This is Tangerine Dad Dancing 😌 I will hear NO OTHER EXPLANATIONS! This is his Tangerine Era in looks. I could watch this video on loop for hours and might have while writing who said that.

As for The Fall Guy. Ohmygooooooooooood I know Tom Ryder doesn't have that much screen time. I k n O W he is like, the brattiest himbo to ever brat, B U T. Ohmygoooooooood I love that film so much??? I love David Leitch's action-comedies. I love how he films, the colours of his sets and lighting and actors costumes. I'm not normally an action fan, but damn, that man knows how to make action scenes so fascinating to watch?? And the COMEDY in his scripts. Aaaaaaaa. S O. While Tom might not be for everyone, that man is like, my 3rd favourite ATJ character, SO Fall Guy gets on the A-Tier.

Which leaves us with... S-Tier. Kraven the Hunter my messy-ass-beloved /lh /aff. As a Marvel and Spiderman fan? That film was a m e s s. As a writer? I wanna use those plotholes and messy editing as pockets to store what-could-have-been. But IGNORING THAT, the characters in Kraven were just. Urg. Sergei, Dmitri, and Nikolai have to be three of my favourite lil' guys. The relationship between them. The things left unsaid. The messy family dynamics. U R G we were ROBBED OF A SEQUEL DAMNIT! I wanna see how this man essentially gets from being a vigilante at WORST (cmon, his list was only terrible people!), to being somehow such a big villain? I wanna see how his and Dmitri's relationship crashed and burned harder.

As for the number one S-Tier All Time Favourite Blorbo and ATJ film? Could it have been anyone else but this man?

Everything about Bullet Train is just. AAAAA. The neon lighting. The immaculate suits and costumes. The god-tier banter and relationship between Tangerine and Lemon. The delightful mansplaning therapy-speaking mess that is Ladybug. All of the background chaos and madness that is just. Going on simultaneously. The dark humour just slipped in there (Bolivia job we're looking at you). The freaking SOUNDTRACK 😍

If there was only one film in existence where I could demand a prequel, it would be this one. I wanna see more of Tangerine and Lemon! I could NEVER get tired of these two.