#oryu

This is not surprise, this is panic (see the dizzy, and the feeling of throwing up).

And yet, even this time, J's concern is always for himself, as usual. His reaction is annoyance. After having dragged Chiwoo to a secluded place, kissed him against his will, admitted that he knew Chiwoo probably wants to run, his reaction is "I am about to get really pissed, how can you treat me like this?". J said sorry, he has said sorry so he expects Chiwoo to accept the apology and act naturally. And here, I think, there is the core of his character.

I don't think J ever thought Chiwoo was blameless. He is telling the truth here, he does think that Chiwoo's attempts to ignore his past "I like you" were the cause of his rapist behavior. Nothing clearer than some quite obvious victim blaming, here.

The interaction is interrupted only because J has to go, and you can see the way he positions his hand (on the side of Chiwoo's head) to trap him. Chiwoo is LITERALLY FROZEN IN FEAR. And from this point onward, he expresses both a dislike to being touched and an uneasy anxiety at the idea of going to school (when he finds out J joined his school).

This is how the author wants us to look at their first interaction in the comic. Absolute egoism, blindness, from J’s part, and frozen fear from Chiwoo’s part.

Ah yes, the good look of a love interest, trapping your terrified lover against a wall, and dismissing his fear at looking at you or being around you, because that is not important. J’s feelings, his need to be around Chiwoo is more important than anything Chiwoo might say or need.

FIRST KYUJIN PARENTHESIS

Now let's compare the interactions between Chiwoo and J, with what happens next with Chiwoo and K. We have seen J escalating the level of threats at Chiwoo's refusal to be touched. Chiwoo says let go, J drags him away, and even warns him that the threatening level could be worse (that "I am about to get pissed").

This is rooted in something deeper in their relationship and it smells of usual behavior.

Later on, we see Chiwoo yelling at K not to touch him, when K touches his shoulder, probably reminding Chiwoo of J's presence. K is hurt by the vehemence, but OBEYS Chiwoo's wishes, and Chiwoo spends the rest of the day stressing about how to apologize to him. He later finds out that K is not mad at all, but his distant behavior has probably been due to worry.

Let me rephrase this. J has Chiwoo right in front of him, trembling in fear, and he doesn't feel even a LITTLE BIT of worry. K sees that Chiwoo has been distressed when nearby J, and immediately is worried.

My favorite part of this first parallelism is the consent to being touched. At one point, K hugs Chiwoo and when Chiwoo seems mad, he promises him that he will ask permission in the future.

K is also quite careful and doesn’t seem to think J’s continuous touching of Chiwoo is anything playful.

Chiwoo is not even looking at K here, because he knows J quite well, and he knows that J is ready to fight after being told what to do or not to do. So here is when Chiwoo has to literally RESIGN himself at being around J, to try to keep his new friend K out of trouble.

And his resignation seeps into his nightmares and then into his anxiety, so much that he skips school so that for ONE DAY he doesn’t have to see J. 

I can FEEL that J thinks this (= Chiwoo accepting to be friendly with him) means that he is forgiven, that things are going back to normal. But the readers know what is happening and that Chiwoo already had part of his character development here, because he knows J is only doing what he wants, getting what he wants, without caring for anyone else. So he is already past the idea that any apology from J is sincere or need to be accepted.

THE PHONE NUMBER

Compared to the veiled threats of what we see between Chiwoo and J (of what the author wants us to see), the relationship between K and Chiwoo is much more “usual school romance”, why K stressing over the idea that J could be a rival, and asking for Chiwoo’s number, and backing down when asked.

I want to particularly highlight this part, because the panels are one after the other, which shows that they must be read one in the context of the other.

We have here K, asking for Chiwoo’s number:

And just after, here we have J somehow having managed to get or find Chiwoo’s number and telling him:

FRIENDS

I just wanted to also point out the different way J and K interact with Chiwoo when other people are around.

In the PAST we see that J does everything he can to keep Chiwoo isolated, from beating up a guy who could have become Chiwoo’s friend, to sleeping with Chiwoo’s date. And sorry after sorry, Chiwoo has no one else but J, so he forgives him.

Now in the PRESENT, we see that J starts to do the same thing. Literally putting himself between Chiwoo and his classmates (who, let me say, have started to warm up to Chiwoo thanks to K)

He also beat up a guy, and uses it as a way to coerce Chiwoo into paying attention to him.

Yes, what a classic move! When you are in love with someone and threaten their friends so that your lover knows they are being punished for ignoring you!

ASSAULT #2

The next day, Chiwoo finds J out of his house. I call this scene assault #2 because this is what it is. Chiwoo realizes, once more, that there are no words that can get through to J.

He has tried with the no, and now he reiterates with expressing WHY he wishes J could listen to him. He EXPLICITLY tells J that J’s presence makes him feel like shit. This interaction happens around chapter 13, and is just after Chiwoo has spent the day with K.  

Here, J DEMANDS to know what he can do to be forgiven, as if Chiwoo is a toy that used to function in a certain way, but now doesn’t give the appropriate responses at the appropriate command.

This is also absolutely dreadful, so I am not going to post screencaps, but there is NOTHING romantic about the feeling of being trapped and the dread that is drawn into Chiwoo, the moment he realizes he is going to be alone in the house with J.

And the focus here is: J keeps pretending to not know why Chiwoo hates him, why Chiwoo cannot accept his apology, but the moment Chiwoo’s mother leaves, J perfectly knows that the threat of a second assault is terrifying and realistic. This horrible scene is even worse when compared with the images of K angsting about his teenage crush on Chiwoo.

ALSO, I counted them. Chiwoo says stop 5 times and let go 2 times.

While J has been pretending to not know what upset Chiwoo, he has been knowing all along that the assault has scarred Chiwoo and does scare him to death, because he makes the direct connection of “You have been ignoring me, now I can ignore your no, and see, this is what happens, I told you to be careful”.

THIS IS MY MAIN POINT. Here, like in the past, there is no love in J’s actions, the assault is not a moment of passion, but a punishment. Now for having been ignored, then for having been ignored.

Luckily, this time, he stops, when he sees Chiwoo crying, but it is like he doesn’t SEE. He is wounded that Chiwoo would treat him like this, would speak to him like this, he WARNS him again to be careful with his words while literally looming over him.

J at this point realizes that he still has to earn his usual forgiveness, he thinks he knows how this goes along, he just needs to do be around Chiwoo, like usual, and Chiwoo one day will forgive him. 

And this is it, this is the most terrifying part. Chiwoo had just went through another traumatic experienced, caused by J, and flashbacks of being raped by J, and what J tells him is 

It hurts MY feelings. This is classic narcissistic abuser, manipulating people into looking at him as the victim, into pitying him.

Luckily, this time Chiwoo catches up on it, and out of his thoughts we have the confirmation that this is what J does, abuses and then asks for pity and forgiveness. 

OTHER SMALL THINGS

- Just the way the whole panel turns dark and gloomy, when Chiwoo thinks about J.

- Also, none of these messages from J exudes worry. One of them specifically says “Who are you with?”

And look at the difference between the messages K sends him:

- The way the interaction between K and Chiwoo are drawn. There are no black gloomy panels, no flinching. Chiwoo actually smiles

- The way Chiwoo remarks multiple time his frustration at trying to talk with J and how J just doesn’t want to hear him