#orphic talks

From the get go, Niki is told by L’Manberg (read: Tommy and Wilbur) that Eret was a traitor and wasn’t trustworthy, and while she understood their apprehension, she remained friendly with Eret as they were nice to her. She had no real reason to dislike him because she had not been there during the war and therefore wasn’t betrayed by her.

Wilbur ends up talking to her about this.

N: you know I’m loyal to you, Wil! You know I’m loyal to you.

W: I don’t- I want you to be loyal to L’Manberg.

N: and to L’Manberg! I am!

W: […] just stick with L’Manberg! That’s all I’m looking for- that’s all I look for in- in a woman- <laughs>

N: I promise, I promise I will

W: okay..okay, I’ll trust you..

N: I mean, y’know, that is why I joined! I joined to join the independent nation, didn’t I?

W: you did.. you did. You did. And just not their independent nation.

N: no. Our independent nation.

I think this is the first really important bit of Niki’s character - she is loyal. But she won’t take what people tell her and trust it blindly. She wants to form her own opinions on things and on people rather than listening to what others tell her about them. And yet, even when she ends up disagreeing with someone on something it doesn’t affect their relationship. Niki quickly begins to trust Eret a lot and Wilbur doesn’t trust him at all. Despite this Niki remains loyal to Wilbur and assured him she’s loyal to L’Manberg too.

That’s another thing - she promised Wilbur she was loyal to L’Manberg. And she kept this promise for as long as she could. Throughout this analysis I’m going to reference this promise a lot because while it’s a mostly forgotten piece of lore I think it has a lot of potential to be bigger and to be talked about a lot more often.

Additionally, I think this shows that Niki is pretty good at reading people - she obviously knows Wilbur very well and can read him because of this, even starting to say ‘and to L’Manberg’ before Wilbur had even finished saying he wanted her to be loyal to it. At the same time, she’s able to figure out from Eret’s behaviour that he’s trustworthy. Analysing motives and behaviour is how Niki figures out who to trust and it’s important to remember this for the Manberg era when suddenly the behaviour and motives of people around her didn’t match up.

Niki showed her loyalty by making the nation’s flag, by telling Wilbur her fox Fungi was the mascot of L’Manberg, by creating her bakery, and by giving everyone lots of gifts. I’ve said it before that she was the soul of L’Manberg. She loved that nation and she lived and breathed its ideals. C!Niki was an idealist. I truly think she would’ve been happy to remain in L’Manberg forever, if it hadn’t changed. Unfortunately, though, change is inevitable and attachment is a main theme on the Dream SMP, and there were many people attached to L’Manberg. It wasn’t ever going to remain the same.

The first pet war was the first time we really saw how strong of a moral code c!Niki had, and it’s something a lot of people think she only developed later on. While she was initially angry at Sapnap, Niki only wanted an apology (but she refused to beg for one). She never wanted revenge like Tommy and Fundy did.

Early Niki is often regarded as naive, but I genuinely don’t think that was ever the case. She was kind and compassionate but she was never a pushover and she’s always been headstrong.

These were her messages to Tubbo while he was taking up the role of Schlatt’s VP. Of course, we know he wasn’t actually on his side, but Niki didn’t know that. He did not answer her first few.

Because of this, Niki felt alone, not knowing who to trust. And this was the first time that had happened to her on this server, because she had always known who was on what side. Suddenly Niki couldn’t rely on her innate empathy anymore, because being kind wasn’t going to bring her friends back, and she couldn’t understand anyone’s motives because everyone was deliberately hiding them. She was desperate for an ally, and this was the first time she didn’t feel at home in L’Manberg.

This is something that needs to be kept in mind, that Niki had been feeling lonely this early on. A lot of people look at her doomsday arc and think it was a sudden change of heart with no build up or reasoning. But the seeds of that breakdown had been planted as early on as Election Day.

Still, she stayed loyal. She kicked up a fuss, refused to do as she was told, knowing the consequences. She refused to tear down the walls. She screamed that Schlatt had no right to do what he was doing. She yelled at Fundy as he tore down her flag. She would later get taxed, imprisoned, and chased down out of the nation. But she didn’t back down regardless.

S: I’m dying of hunger

N: you shouldn’t have betrayed the only baker in this-

S: oh my god, can you be quiet?

Q: Niki! Niki! You know how to bake, would you like to bake for us?

N: Not for you.

<Eret laughs>

N: Not for this government

J: that’s quite the catering gig you’re turning down, but..

Q: yeah- listen! Listen! We are very hungry people, we are very hungry people

N: I hope you starve.

This is a turning point for Niki, as she abandoned her bakery after this. She did not bake again for a very, very long time.

Her only allies were Eret - who couldn’t do much as they weren’t a citizen and many people didn’t trust her. And HBomb - who helped her gather resources for her resistance but ultimately operated in the shadows. It was support, and her gratefulness for those two characters is proven time and time again after this, but it wasn’t that much. And it had little weight compared to all the betrayals she was soon to face.

One of those betrayals was Fundy. Niki would later be told he didn’t mean any of this, but I don’t think she was ever able to get over it. Partly because there were some things he genuinely meant, when he said them.

F: Schlatt has risen on top of everything.

N: he will fall. He-

F: why resist?

N: because he is not the-

<Schlatt joins the game>

N: oh my god..

F: my leader! My leader!

N: I think I need to leave. Because today is tax day and I don’t- I’m not going to pay the taxes.

F: im about to refurnish the flag, Niki!

N: no you will not! Fundy, leave the flag alone, you already destroyed everything! What do you want more?! What do you want more?!

F: what I want? Is total domination

N: i trusted you.. I trusted you, I thought we would bring peace! […] we worked so hard for the independence of this nation, and you just-

F: Oh, independence you keep!

N: theres no independence with a tyrannist!

Niki felt Fundy had lied to her and later said she was glad that Coconut2020 hadn’t won, if this was what Fundy did with power.

Within the same conversation, this.

N: Wilbur is your father!

F: Wilbur ridiculed me. Wilbur patronised me for years.

N: he just wanted to keep you safe!

F: Wilbur.. was a powerless fool.

N: don’t you dare say that!

I hate to be a broken record, but she kept her promise, didn’t she?

Speaking of Wilbur,

W: we’re in too much of a hot position right now to take in everyone from every sort of- like- person we need into our new, sort of, cave.. so you’re gonna have to hold out in Manberg a little bit longer, is that okay?

N: .. of course.. I will. Take- take care, Wil..

W: thank you.

She sat in silence for a few seconds after that. Now, Wilbur was not abandoning Niki here. He was trying to keep himself, Pogtopia, and Niki safe. But what is she supposed to do, after believing he’d get her out of there? Niki had been feeling abandoned and lost and alone and betrayed, the fact that he couldn’t help was rubbing salt in the wound of everything else that had happened in Manberg already.

After, she moved out of Manberg into Tommy’s holiday home where she found Henry.

N: im not gonna be that lonely.. Henry- I will do everything to protect you, okay? We have each other. We’re- I don’t know who is on our side Henry, I don’t know who is on our side right now, but- <laughs as Henry turns> don’t turn away from me! Tommy is fine. Tommy is okay. And you will get back- get back with him. Soon. Very soon. Okay, Henry? <Henry looks around> I know you’re looking for him! I wish I could lead you to him and I wish I could show you, but we have to- we have to stay here for now. We have to stay here for now. You and me. We’re strong, okay? We’re strong.

It’s obvious Niki is trying to reassure herself. She telling this cow everything she desperately needs to hear in that moment. ‘I will do everything to protect you’ is something she wants someone to tell her. And ‘you will get back with him very soon’, which is what she wants to happen. And of course, ‘we’re strong’. It sparked a new hope into her. A new life. She felt safer.

This is when Niki wrote Dear Friend, and if it is wanted I can write a full analysis of that, but the main thing is that it was a cry for help. Niki was beginning to get incredibly burned out being the only one continuing to fight, having no idea what else she could do, and terrified for her life in the place she used to feel safest in. I wish we knew who ‘Dear Friend’ was. If anyone has theories I’d love to hear them.

Despite her anger at Tubbo for his speech (which sounded very pro-Schlatt) she still told Schlatt to let him out once Schlatt and Quackity started to box him in. It still had not been revealed quite yet that Tubbo was a spy, yet Niki still stood up for Tubbo regardless of how she felt about him. That’s the thing about Niki. She is a good person with sound morals who will support people even if their views don’t align with hers, because she knows what’s right and what’s wrong and she won’t let ‘wrong’ happen to anyone.

Once Techno killed him, Schlatt literally fucking exiled her.

N: You killed him!

S: yeah, I did. I did fucking kill him, Niki.

N: you are so cruel- how could you do that? After everything he has done for you?!

S: he’s been a thorn in my side since-

N: I DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE.

S: he-

N: I DON’T EVEN WANT TO BE HERE!

S: […] you can leave if you want

N: ….Where am I supposed to go?

Manberg may not be Niki’s home but L’Manberg is and it always will be. That’s why the thought of leaving for good hurt her so much. Wilbur comes out into the open after she says this, and he defends her.

S: you really crawled up here on the day of my festival, celebrating my country. That you are not a part of. And you started- you started crying.

W: You sounded like you were gonna murder another person.

S: no, I was only gonna murder Tubbo.

W: you sounded like you were gonna go for Niki.

S: he’s the only person- well I mean, Niki..

N: what?

S: I might murder Niki, actually. I might murder her.

Wilbur tells her to run. Fundy gives Schlatt arrows but he and Quackity tell Schlatt not to do it, all the while Niki’s getting chased out of the country she used to love. This solidifies for her the fact that she truly has lost everything. Ponk chased her down and he killed her - Ponk, who a few streams before, Niki had called a friend. Earlier Techno had also killed her, when he shot at the audience after killing Tubbo. According to the wiki neither of those are canon deaths but I think they should be. At the very least, being killed by Ponk should be.

She joined Pogtopia that day, and Niki already had heard about Wilbur’s plans from Tommy. He, her and Tubbo had all vowed to get L’Manberg back and at this point in time, Tommy was the person she trusted the most. Her relationship with Tubbo had been ruined because of her thinking she was on Schlatt’s side - and even now that she knew he hadn’t been, it didn’t change the fact that he did not stick up for her while she was there. Her relationship with Wilbur was still a close one but she was scared for him and worried for L’Manberg’s future. But Tommy hadn’t wronged her, and she knew she could trust him to help with Wilbur.

Her birthday party was where she really saw the extent of Wilbur’s mental decline first hand and was completely powerless in stopping it. The day had been going so well, and she’d been having fun, until Wilbur went to blow up Manberg. Niki had to beg him to stop playing the anthem and Quackity talked him down from blowing it up, but Niki was terrified.

This is when Niki began working on her Secret City - intended to be a safe space away from the conflict, or a last resort for refugees if the war went badly.

On November 16th, Niki was hopeful, especially after Techno revealed his armoury. That day, Niki also defended Eret when they were accused of being the traitor, saying she trusted them and that they helped her. Once again, proving her loyalty and the fact she was grateful for people who stuck by her side.

We all know what happened later. After they got L’Manberg back, and were cleaning up, Niki found the TNT Wilbur had placed under the podium. She made sure nobody else saw it and she hid it again. Because after everything, Niki still believed in Wilbur. She was still loyal to him. She still saw the good in him and trusted that he wouldn’t. But he did.

She’d kept her promise, she’d been loyal to him and L’Manberg, and it didn’t change anything. She didn’t manage to help anything. And Wilbur, the one person Niki believed would always be there for her, no matter what, betrayed her. And she couldn’t even ask him why. So after that she was left hopeless and never wanted to let anyone in again. But as much as Niki didn’t want to, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Tommy reminded the L’Manbergians that the L’Mantree was still there. And I think Niki found that comforting, at the very least. She asked Tubbo what they were going to do with Wilbur’s body and his only response was “let him rot”. She and Tommy were the only ones who didn’t laugh.

At this point Tommy became a constant, for Niki. He’d been there since she joined, he was the only one who understood that she still wanted Wilbur back, and in her eyes he was able to take on his role in the sense of inspiring them all.

So, of course it hit her hard when he tried to blame her for burning down George’s house. Then, he’s exiled and the next time she heads from him it’s because he blew up the community house - we know he didn’t, but Niki didn’t. She begins to see Tommy as someone who just causes problems on the SMP, nothing more. She thinks he’s arrogant and a nuisance and that he doesn’t care for anyone.

When it comes to Niki’s character it’s vital that we understand - she has been through so much pain that got overlooked by everyone around her. At this point, she was poor, grieving, and felt as if nobody in New L’Manberg listened to her. She was going through the lowest point in her life and nobody in that nation seemed to care.

And she couldn’t hate everyone for it so she needed someone to blame and that happened to be Tommy. He didn’t deserve it but he was an easy target. And it’s true that he wasn’t kind to her, but he wasn’t the only one, and he was obviously going through his own things. But Niki was angry and she needed somewhere to put her anger. Is that fair? Not at all. But it’s what happened.

N: L’Manberg has not been L’Manberg. For many weeks. Maybe even months, maybe even.. maybe even, I don’t know.. since the start? […] I want the people to realise L’Manberg is not what they think it is. I want them to open their eyes and stop being in this circle.. in this circle of fighting for it. Because that will not bring us anywhere.

Do I even need to say anything? She fought for it for so long, on her own, and lost everything and everyone anyway.

On Doomsday, she spoke to Ranboo.

N: Do you.. do you really think L’Manberg should be safe today? …Ranboo, I will- If you think that we should fight for L’Manberg today, I will fight with you. Because I believe in you. And I always believed in you.

R: I think we should. […] the thing is, if we don’t fight with them, then what are we showing them? We’re showing them that we never cared about them.

N: .. i care about them, I really do. But I got.. hurt by them… They always talk over me, Ranboo. You know how that feels.

R: yeah. But like you remember yesterday, sometimes you just have to get louder.

N: You’re right..

R: sometimes you just have to get louder until they have no choice but to hear you.

And good god, isn’t that exactly what she did? Something something, peaceful protest is ignored (striking at her bakery, not paying her taxes, verbally standing up to Schlatt). OSomething something, she got louder. (Burning down the L’Mantree, blowing up her bakery)

An underrated line from Doomsday though? Niki telling her chat that she needed to save Puffy. I think she was muted so you’d only hear the line if you were on her stream, but she tried to help Puffy after and seemed distressed that she couldn’t get to her. Puffychu crumbs.

She held it together until she saw Ghostbur, believing she was hallucinating and repeating to herself that Wilbur was gone and that he betrayed her. She doesn’t want to care, but she does. And the idea of Wilbur still existing terrifies her, because what does that say about her grief? And if her grief isn’t justified, then the things she’s done definitely aren’t. As long as Wilbur is dead, Niki feels like she has a reason for her anger.

During her meltdown Niki is rambling. ‘Wilbur is dead’ becomes ‘L’Manberg is dead’ which becomes ‘L’Manberg is gone’ which becomes ‘I am gone’ and ‘I am L’Manberg’. This reveals a lot about Niki, even if it may seem nonsensical at first glance.

I’ve made a post before about how for crime boys, L’Manberg is interchangeable with the other person (For Tommy, it’s Wilbur. For Wilbur, it’s Tommy.) And I think that this is the same thing for Niki. L’Manberg is Wilbur. Wilbur couldn’t live without L’Manberg, and L’Manberg isn’t the same without Wilbur.

Then, she is gone and she is L’Manberg. Niki isn’t the same person she used to be and she’s starting to think that she can’t live without L’Manberg either, not happily, anyway. But at the same time, she helps to destroy it because the memories are too much to bare, and all it does is remind her of all the times she’s been hurt there. She can’t see the good in it anymore.

Destroying her own bakery was somewhere between emotional self-harm and trying to separate herself from L’Manberg as much as possible. There could’ve also been a sense of survivors guilt? Everyone else’s homes and things were destroyed but Niki’s bakery was untouched, and she found that really unsettling.

She talks to Jack about why she burnt down the tree, saying it was because she’s lost everyone.

J: that’s not a very good way of going ‘hey, I wanna be friends again’, burning down their sacred tree.

N: i don’t want to be friends with any of them again! Have you seen them?

J: then why do you care?!

N: because it hurt me! […] we both have been ignored by all of them all the time. We walk behind them slowly and-and carefully because they will ignore us all the time but we wanna be part! We wanna be part- we’re like little puppies, aren’t we?! Like little puppies, just walking and walking. But they’re never going to see us. All we are for them is something to take something from. […] whats the difference between these people and us? When we lose something, we lost it. And we grieve it. And it will be a part of us. When they lose something? They move on and they find something new.

I feel like people who think c!Niki is badly written or don’t like her just watch this stream and think she is overreacting because they don’t know her lore. But none of this came out of nowhere.

The thing is, Niki was ignored throughout Manberg and New L’Manberg by Tubbo and Fundy and sometimes even Eret. Niki has had things taken from her by Schlatt and Tommy. She has seen everyone move on from Wilbur when she couldn’t.

I think the other characters did care about her - Wilbur definitely did and Tommy did too. Karl did, Eret did, Puffy did. But it’s so difficult for her to see that because the love is so quiet in comparison to everything else. She’s no longer an idealist, she can’t see it when it isn’t right in front of her. And that doesn’t mean she’s wrong. She’s not completely right, but she’s not wrong about being used and feeling unwanted. That did happen.

So why does this turn into hatred at Tommy? Like I said earlier - he was a constant. The only one she still had after Wilbur, but he didn’t seem like he cared about her. In Niki’s eyes he became just like the rest of them - he used her left, and then when he came back she thought he’d replaced Wilbur with Techno and was now replacing him with Tubbo.

(I’m not saying I think that’s what happened but it’s what Niki saw. This part of my analysis is also partly speculation and partly based on things Niki said after the fact, because I can’t find the vod where she and Jack decided to target Tommy specifically, I think there’s a missing one between Niki’s Doomsday vod and the one where Jack tells her about the nukes.)

She directs her anger at him also because it gives her an ally. Jack blames Tommy for most of what’s happened to him, because Tommy resulted in him losing his second life; if Niki agrees that it’s his fault then she has Jack. So unconsciously she starts directing her anger more towards him.

The thing about Tommy is that he’s loud. He’s annoying. He can be rude. He doesn’t take things seriously, especially when he’s being painted in the wrong, because he doesn’t know how to handle it so he just deflects.