#orionsbean

Why I chose Orion’s Bean for my blog: My name is Jeanne Barrett. I became a mother on 12/28/2012 to a boy named Fynn Orion Fischer. My whole pregnancy I kept saying I can’t have a boy. I want a girl. I want her to have curly hair with browns eyes just like me and I’d name her Lydia. In my mind I saw Lydia as a beautiful baby who I would hold close to me. I would let her know no one could hurt her. Lydia would be the person I always wanted to be. God had a different plan for me. He gave me Fynn. He gave me my own personal angel. I’ll never forget when the doctor came in and told me it was time. He said, “Mom you are ready.” He turned and looked at the clock. He turned back to me. He said, “Mom I give you 15 minutes and then I have section. You can do this mom.” I looked at my mother with tears in my eyes, “I can’t mom. I just got Law and Order on. I just got put into a room. No, I’m not ready.” My mother looked at me and said, “Yes you can.” I replied, “I don’t remember how to push though.” She said, “Yes you do Jeanne.” So I squeezed and the doctor said “Not like that. You push mom.” I pushed two more times and then I heard it. I heard his cry. My legs were up still. The nurse was holding onto my right foot while my mother held onto my left foot. My mother looked over my left knee and said, “It’s a boy Jeanne.” My heart was filled with more joy than I could ever explain to anyone. A boy and he would be called Fynn Orion. Fynn had curly blonde hair. It’s wavy now. He has blue eyes with a small brown dot in his one eye. That’s the brown I prayed for. He’s my boy. My blue eyed brown dot little boy. When I was a little girl my dad who was born September 9th a day after my birthday, September 8th, used to call me Jeanna Bean. Because my son as played such a huge roll in the transformation of myself I wanted to name my blog after the person who inspires me everyday to keep up the fight. Keep on working to better myself and never accept an answer you know in your heart to be incorrect for you. Bean, my childhood nickname. When I think of being called Bean I think of two people. My Pre-K teacher who called me Jeanner Beanner and my dad who called me Jeanna Bean. At one point they both drop the Jeanne part and ended up calling me Beanner or Bean. I loved that name. As a 34 year old women I can still that little girl called Bean in myself everyday. This is how Orion’s Bean was born.