Mercy did not recoil from the warning. If anything, there was something almost unbearably tender in the way she looked at Tatia afterward, as though she understood precisely what had been hidden beneath those words. It wasn't a threat. Not really. Tatia wasn't warning Mercy about what she wanted to do to her; she was warning her about what she feared she might do if instinct overwhelmed intention. There was a difference, and Mercy had spent enough of her life surrounded by monsters to recognize it.
Her fingers remained against Tatia's face, tracing lightly along the curve of her cheek before disappearing into the dark strands of her hair.
"I trust that you have considerably more self-control than you're giving yourself credit for," Mercy murmured, her eyes never leaving Tatia's. "Because if you didn't, I don't imagine we'd be standing here having this conversation. You would have killed me already. Or tried, at the very least." The faintest smile touched her lips. "And then we'd be having an entirely different evening involving considerably more property damage."
"You're not like them. You told me that yourself, remember? And perhaps I shouldn't simply take a vampire at her word, terrible Slayer etiquette, I'm sure, but I've had enough time to decide for myself whether I believe you." Mercy's thumb brushed slowly across Tatia's cheekbone. There was no trembling in her hand, no sudden second thought pulling her away. "I do believe you. More importantly, I trust you. I know you don't want to kill me." Her gaze briefly dropped toward Tatia's mouth before finding her eyes again.
"But I suspect that's not really what frightens you." Mercy's voice grew quieter. "I think you're afraid that wanting something and controlling yourself around it aren't always the same thing. That you could begin with every intention of stopping and then suddenly there'd be my heartbeat in your ears, my blood in your mouth, and instinct would become louder than whatever promise you made to yourself beforehand." She paused, studying Tatia with an expression that had lost nearly all of its teasing now. "And yes. That is dangerous. I'm not naive enough to pretend otherwise." She knew exactly what she was offering. Perhaps that was what made it so intoxicating.
Mercy tilted her head slightly, exposing just a little more of her throat without ever making the gesture theatrical. She didn't need to. Tatia could hear what existed beneath her skin perfectly well.
"Perhaps I want you to devour me. Not to death, obviously." There it was again, that flicker of irreverence that seemed determined to survive even when Mercy was standing inches away from something ancient enough to tear her apart. "I feel as though that qualification is rather important." Her smile lingered for another second before slowly fading.
"This isn't exactly my first rodeo, Tatia. I've had vampires feed from me before. Sometimes because I allowed them to. More often because they didn't bother asking." Something colder slipped behind Mercy's eyes at that, ancient wounds briefly stirring beneath otherwise calm features. "Those experiences were considerably less romantic, as you might imagine. And the ones who thought my blood was something they could simply take from me aren't around anymore to share their reviews." Her fingers slipped deeper into Tatia's hair, absentmindedly separating one dark lock from the rest.
"But you asked." There was something important about that.
"You have me against a wall, you can hear my heart beating like it's personally attempting to embarrass me, and you're still standing here asking whether I'm certain rather than simply taking what you want." Mercy's expression softened. "Do you understand how much that tells me about you? And don't misunderstand me. I know exactly what you are capable of. Probably better than most people foolish enough to stand this close to you." Mercy gave the lock around her finger a playful little curl. "You're an Original. Twice my strength would probably be an insultingly conservative estimate. You could snap my neck before I managed to blink. I could have a stake hidden behind my back right now and it wouldn't particularly matter, because the worst I'd accomplish would be making you very angry before you woke up again. Which sounds like an exceptionally poor survival strategy." And yet she remained exactly where she was.
"Every instinct I've been trained to have should tell me this is absurd. Slayers aren't supposed to willingly put themselves within biting distance of vampires. We're certainly not supposed to voluntarily offer our necks to Originals. I imagine somewhere, somehow, a Watcher has just developed a migraine without understanding why. But if I believed you had sinister intentions toward me, Tatia, I wouldn't be here." The humor disappeared again, leaving only certainty.
"I'm not the greatest Slayer who ever lived. I know that. There are women stronger than me, faster than me, probably considerably better at following the bloody handbook than I've ever been. But I survived long enough to learn the difference between something dangerous and something evil. They're not interchangeable." Her fingertips drifted from Tatia's hair back toward her cheek. "And you are dangerous."
There was something strangely intimate about saying it aloud.
"That's the part everyone seems to forget. They look at us and see opposite sides because it's easier that way. Slayer. Vampire. Light. Darkness. Hero. Monster. Everything neatly categorized so nobody has to ask uncomfortable questions." Her brow furrowed slightly. "But when I look at you, I don't see something entirely opposite from me. I see another girl who had something enormous forced upon her and was expected to somehow understand what to do with it afterward." Mercy's voice became softer still.
"Neither of us asked for the power we carry. Neither of us asked for the hunger that came with itβthe literal sort in your case." A tiny smile. "But we've both had people decide what we should be because of it. What we're allowed to want. What we're supposed to destroy. What parts of ourselves are acceptable and which ones ought to be buried somewhere nobody can see them."
She fell silent for several seconds.
"And perhaps that's why I'm not frightened of your darkness. Because I've spent enough time fighting my own." There was no shame in the admission. If anything, Mercy seemed strangely peaceful saying it.
"I used to think darkness automatically meant evil. That if I enjoyed something I wasn't supposed to enjoy, wanted someone I wasn't supposed to want, or found comfort somewhere I had been explicitly told there should only be danger, then perhaps there was something wrong with me." Her thumb traced Tatia's cheek again. "But darkness isn't inherently cruel. Sometimes it's simply the place where nobody is watching." Her gaze wandered briefly toward the room around them before returning to Tatia.
"In the light, everything is terribly loud. There are rules. Expectations. Duties. People telling you what you owe them because of what you are. There is always something you're supposed to be doing, someone you're supposed to save, some version of yourself you're supposed to perform so everyone else can remain comfortable." Mercy leaned a fraction closer. "But none of that follows you into the dark. In the dark, you can simply be."
For a moment, neither Slayer nor vampire seemed particularly relevant. There were only two women standing far too close to one another, each perfectly aware of what the other could do. Mercy wound one of Tatia's dark locks lazily around her finger, the playfulness returning to her expression despite the seriousness of everything she'd just confessed.
"So yes. Maybe this is dangerous. Maybe you're right and the moment you taste my blood, you're going to discover that stopping is considerably harder than you imagined." Her eyes flickered toward Tatia's lips. "But I am standing here anyway. Not because I underestimate you." Her fingers tightened slightly around the strand of hair.
"Because I trust you. Besides..." She deliberately tilted her head again, leaving the graceful line of her throat exposed between them.
"You still haven't answered my question." Mercy's voice dropped into something soft and teasing, though the challenge beneath it was unmistakable.
"Do you want to know what euphoria feels like? Or are you going to make me stand here all night trying to convince an ancient, terrifying Original vampire that she's allowed to want something?"
Β β‘ Λ Continued from here Λ β‘ βββ @original-doppleganger