#orchestranomaphone

It all starts with a tweet in March, 2011. The link leads to a photo of Joel, sitting across a restaurant table with a forkful of spaghetti halfway up to his mouth and a questioning expression at Ray, who’s probably taken it with his cell phone.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman Disappointed there’s only one Donut on this date. pic.twitter.com/nU2SMmRMFv

It’s followed by a succession of tweets and retweets about video games, so no one pays it much attention.

“Enjoy your date last weekend?” Michael asks jokingly in the Achievement Hunter office.

“Oh, yeah, it was great,” Ray tells him, distracted by his Xbox not reading the disk of Dead Rising 2. Hours later he’s sitting with his legs bent in the chair, headphones on and focused on killing a zombie with a baseball bat. He doesn’t notice that Joel has come into the office until the zombie is dead and there’s a box of frosted donuts on his desk.

Joel doesn’t say anything, just smiles at him and leaves the donuts there.

With his headphones still on, Ray grins at him, slowly and unapologetically. His eyes follow Joel as he goes out of the office and then return to the zombie slaughter that’s necessary for another achievement guide, without acknowledging that his co-workers are laughing.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan Power outage in Austin so we’re playing Pokemon Black and eating Doritos. @JoelHeyman #NotGonnaLie #BestDateSoFar

Geoff Ramsey @GeoffLRamsey @AH_BrownMan prove it.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @Geoff Ramsey @JoelHeyman pic.twitter.com/7rbP34Z5am

It’s a bad photo of them sitting on a couch, making faces that are lit poorly by the Nintendo DS that Ray is holding up.

Joel Heyman @JoelHeyman So we catch monsters in these little balls and then make them fight other monsters for money? #PokemonBlack

In their lunch break Ray sits with Joel and the Nintendo DS, explaining Pokémon evolution, gym battles and that games don’t have to reflect real-world economic trends.

“So I beat this kid in a battle because my Pokémon are at higher levels than his Pokémon, and then he hands me his pocket money, or something? But taking them to the hospital is free. I’m just taking all this money because I walked in front of kids who were standing on the sidewalk, and what do I have to spend it on?” Joel asks as his character moves around on the screen. “Can I buy better Pokémon? Do I have to collect them?”

“You spend money at the store buying Poké Balls, potions to restore your Pokémon’s health, antidotes to poison, awakening to use on sleeping Pokémon…stuff like that,” Ray tells him.

“Oh, okay.” Joel nods and says, almost a minute later, “I have a level three blue monkey, a level six hamster with its tail on fire, and a level two dancing cactus.”

Ray tries not to grin and fails. “Yeah, you do.”

“That’s good, right?”

“It’s uh, you know,” says Ray, shrugging.

After glancing at him, Joel closes the Nintendo DS and stands up with a smile playing around his mouth. “This game is stupid.”

“Whoa, okay.” Ray switches off the DS and turns to him, still sitting. “Don’t make me choose between you and Pokémon. They just announced a sequel to Pokémon Rumble.”

Joel asks after a beat, “What does that even mean?”

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan Tried to play through Pokemon Black with #TheDreamTeam. Got as far as Aspertia City. #NeverAgain pic.twitter.com/5Od4yZbuZy

It links to a photo of an Emboar, Panpour and Maractus, with the lowest at level fifty.

There’s nothing else to suggest that they are dating until December, 2011. In the Rooster Teeth office they stand close, but not too close, and laugh through a HORSE video at inside jokes that don’t make any sense, and have lunch together every now and then.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman has to buy a new toothbrush every time he stays over. pic.twitter.com/PybflaaNCt

It’s a photo of a cup with at least seven different coloured toothbrushes in it, next to a bathroom sink.

Joel Heyman @JoelHeyman @AH_BrownMan Could probably sell these on eBay. pic.twitter.com/SqXB5993kr

His reply is a photo of t-shirts spread across a bed, folded roughly and reading things like, ‘ACHIEVE’ and ‘I’M GOING CAKELESS’.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman Hey, I’ve been looking for those!

Joel Heyman @JoelHeyman @AH_BrownMan There are six t-shirts now hidden around my apartment. Good luck and #MerryChristmas

While they’re in the Achievement Hunter office setting up for a Let’s Play, Geoff asks, making air quotations with his fingers, “So you guys are still ‘going out’?”

“Me and Joel?” Ray glances across the shelves of games at him and uses air quotations pointedly as he says, “‘Yeah’.”

“That’s great, buddy,” Geoff says to a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV.

“Thanks.”

Barbara Dunkelman @BlawnDee @JoelHeyman @AH_BrownMan congratulations!!

Barbara Dunkelman @BlawnDee @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman what did you guys get each other for your 1st anniversary?

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @BlawnDee @JoelHeyman A pack of ten toothbrushes and a key to Joel’s apartment. #Joelay

“I think there’s a certain distance you have to go for the fans,” Burnie says in a video podcast, gesturing absently with a beer bottle in his hand. “You have to be dedicated and hardworking, to create something that they can get behind. Look at the guys over at Achievement Hunter; you go above and beyond expectations to make videos that people will watch, and at the same time they’re getting to know you and want more and more to support what it is you’re doing, because you’re damn likeable people.

“Ray and Joel are dating on Twitter. It’s that kind of…you know, it’s that kind of relationship that you have with the fans, where they’re investing in you and what you could be doing in the future.” He asks, “How long have you guys been dating now?”

They’re sitting next to each other on the red couch, but not any closer than friends would. Ray answers, “Over a year,” and Joel nods slightly while looking at his own bottle.

“And people still get behind you,” Burnie says, as if that proves the point he’s trying to make. “They’re still interested in ‘the Ray and Joel story’, what you guys are doing with your time, and you can communicate that to them in a way that’s both approachable and safe. You’re dating in 140 characters or less, on a website where people can choose to engage with that if they want to. Or they can just go to roosterteeth.com, or watch our videos on YouTube. We’ve got all these, you know, these dozens of people working on all different kinds of content for the fans to enjoy.”

Joel picks the label off his bottle, steadfastly not looking up at him or the camera.

After that there’s nothing about their relationship for weeks until Joel comes into the Achievement Hunter office and, finding that Ray’s busy recording a Five Facts video about Fallout, writes out messages on post-it notes that he sticks along his desk and monitor.

I have a meeting at 5, the first one reads. Text me when you think you’ll be ready to go, leads on to, or if you’re getting home some other way, on another post-it.

Ray only glances at them as he’s talking into a microphone, and nods at Joel in acknowledgment. When the recording is finished and Joel has left the office, he takes the notes down. “Who writes one word on a post-it note?” he mutters to himself, amused to read the words, have, a, very, good, day, all on separate pieces of paper.

They’re taken down and tossed into the trash, but a single post-it note stays on the wall beside his desk: You’re.

“What’s up with that, Ray?” asks Michael while they’re filming for an episode of VS.

“This?” Ray peels it off the wall, holding it up beside his face for the camera that Lindsay’s silently holding. You’re, it reads on one side, and then he turns it over, Cute. As the others laugh, startled, he makes an expression and sticks the post-it back up with some tape.

Joel Heyman @JoelHeyman @AH_BrownMan I wrote that in confidence. #VS

Michael Jones @AH_Michael @JoelHeyman @AH_BrownMan You’re? You’re what?? Find out what Joel thinks of Ray in this week’s episode of VS. #ItsCanon pic.twitter.com/xqEo5AisHF

It’s a photo of Ray’s wall, with the post-it note between the Achievement Hunter logo and fan art of him as Tuxedo Mask.

Over time, other things come to decorate his desk: a signed picture of Caboose from Red vs. Blue, a long-stemmed plastic rose, a fan’s design for a #TheDreamTeam t-shirt and a cartoon of Ray and Joel holding hands.

On a night out with the more senior employees of Rooster Teeth, Joel protests that he can’t drink because he’ll be driving himself home. “I can’t- No, no, I can’t,” he tells them, shaking his head and taking out his car keys for emphasis. “No, see-”

“What’s the problem?” asks Burnie, holding a bottle of beer. “Gus can drive you back. If you don’t want to drink, that’s fine. But if you do, I don’t see the problem here.”

Gus glances at him with his glass resting on the table. “Oh, actually… I’m already halfway through my drink. Esther’s driving for me tonight.”

“I can drive to your apartment, so long as you’re sober enough to give me directions,” offers Michael from where he’s been talking to the Ramseys.

After a few seconds of hesitation, Joel cracks. He hands over his car keys and doesn’t start drinking until he’s sent and received a text in reply:

We’re drinking tonight. Michael’s going to drive me home later.

NP. Just know you’re missing out on Star Wars IV on AMC and microwave popcorn.

With a smile he types out, Spoiler – they blow up the Death Star.

You’re kidding, and he can actually read the deadpan on the screen.

Hours later, the door to his apartment is unlocked and pushed open by Michael, who’s muttering to himself, “I’m charging you for gas when you come into work tomorrow. How lost could we possibly get in a five-mile radius of your apartment building, holy shit…” and he notices, “Hey, did you leave your lights on?”

“No, it’sss…” he slurs, swaying drunkenly.

Ray steps out from the living room, as if he’d been waiting, and he stands there, awkwardly, until Joel stumbles over to him and hugs him so that his hair is brushing under his chin.

“Rayyyyy,” he says, smiling at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes.

“Uh,” comes an uncertain voice from the front door.

“Hey, Michael,” says Ray as his hair is ruffled by a still-smiling Joel.

He’s docile while drunk, and led easily into the bedroom where he’s tucked under the covers and there is a glass of water and aspirin on the table waiting for when he wakes up. Fingers stroke through his hair and he grasps at them, holding on until he falls asleep – only distantly hearing that Michael and Ray are talking…about a framed photo of them at the top of the Empire State Building.

At the Achievement Hunter office, Michael stops asking if Ray needs a ride home after work, or making jokes about them dating in videos or on Twitter.

On September 15, 2012, he gives Ray two limited edition Halo Xbox 360 controllers for his birthday, and on Joel’s birthday the next day he claims to have already given him a present.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan Shoutout to #NY for my mom’s cooking, the PS4 reveal, and marriage equality. @JoelHeyman pic.twitter.com/phIcT8IW0L

It links to a photo of him wearing a tuxedo, with a red rose as his boutonniere. Joel is standing next to him with an arm around his waist, looking at something past the camera. He’s also wearing a suit with a coloured tie and vest to match the rose. It looks like a photo that wasn’t taken by a professional, angled slightly with people in the background – but both men, however distracted, are smiling.

Joel Heyman @JoelHeyman Busy week in New York with @AH_BrownMan. The PS4 was announced, we met some RVB fans and then decided to get married. pic.twitter.com/fRWhXUzWRE

It’s a cleaner-looking photo of them with their families lined up on either side.

They’re asked so many questions over Twitter that they reply, almost nonsensically:

Joel Heyman @JoelHeyman @AH_BrownMan Because it’s legal in New York, not Austin, and his parents live there.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman My cousin made about four dozen Pokemon cupcakes, flavoured strawberry, chocolate and vanilla: pic.twitter.com/U8dwXDPeeg

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan She took that photo before the reception. None of them survived. #TheRealHungerGames

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan I have hundreds more followers now than I did before the wedding. Let me try this: shoutout to same-sex marriage? #NY4M #TX4M

Joel Heyman @JoelHeyman Why do you guys want to know these things?

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman We’ve been living together for months now. But don’t tell my grandma that.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman @burnie Video? #WeddingHype

Joel Heyman @JoelHeyman @AH_BrownMan @burnie Please, let’s just do a video.

RT Life – Ray and Joel in NY is uploaded the next day. It opens with the Rooster Teeth 10 Year Anniversary logo, then a grainy image of Times Square. The camera pulls out to show it’s a postcard on a table that Ray’s sitting on the other side of – a reversal of the photo he tweeted almost two years before.

“It’s Ray here, from Achievement Hunter. You can’t really tell that we’re in New York right now, so,” he holds up a soft pretzel and a coffee cup, turned so that you can’t read the logo. As he’s doing that, the camera is set down on the table and Joel moves to sit next to him. When the camera angle is acceptable he tears off some of the pretzel and eats it.

“If you follow either of us on Twitter, you’ll know that a lot’s happened in the week that we’ve been here. We went to what Sony was calling the PlayStation Meeting 2013, where they announced the PS4 console. That’s exciting, you’ll hear more about it in AHWU. And, uh…” he trails off to look at Joel, sitting next to him and swallowing down the pretzel.

“Transition?” Joel suggests.

“Is that how we’re going to do this?” and the video transitions as he’s talking, so he provides the voiceover to otherwise muted footage of New York City from a cab window. The camera turns to Ray, who’s sitting beside Joel and smiles despite looking tired.

It cuts again, to an extreme close-up of a bowl of popcorn. The camera zooms out to show the other bowls of popcorn surrounding it, then stops abruptly. After a second Joel says, sounding amused, “I can’t- I can’t lift it any higher,” and Ray laughs, suddenly and loudly.

Walking back with the camera shows Ray standing at a table covered in bowls, plates and some cups of popcorn, grinning at him. “I wanna watch The Notebook,” he says jokingly.

It cuts to two garment bags hanging side by side in a closet. A hand reaches out to touch one, and Ray whispers, “I can’t remember which one is mine.”

The video cuts to a New York City street, where Joel is ordering a soft pretzel from a vendor. He walks over to Ray, who’s holding the camera, and light glints off the wedding ring on his left hand even as he frowns down at the paper bag.

It cuts to another moment on the same day, with Ray pointing out an ad for Tomb Raider. He goes into a store to buy a postcard. The door to their hotel room opens. “So, you ready to film this?” asks Ray distantly as Joel’s hand puts the postcard on the table and zooms in.

“Yeah,” he replies, and the 10 Year Anniversary logo plays again.

Ray and Joel are sitting at the table, just as they were before the transition. The pretzel has been eaten and coffee cup pushed out of frame.

“We got married,” says Joel.

“Yeah.”

“We’re married now.”

“It happened.”

“We came to New York City to get married.”

Ray half-smiles at him and says, “It’s like you’ve never said that before.”

The video transitions, just as Joel moves suddenly towards Ray, to a dozen half-empty bowls of popcorn on a couch and a TV screen paused on the climax of The Notebook. The closing logo plays and it cuts back to them nearly kissing and then laughing instead.

Geoff Ramsey @GeoffLRamsey @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman I call bullshit. #RTLife youtube.com/watch?v=nXYflxE6vVc

Geoff Ramsey @GeoffLRamsey @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman April Fool’s isn’t for another three months, idiots.

Michael Jones @AH_Michael Congratulations to @AH_BrownMan and @JoelHeyman for tying the knot. I couldn’t be there but the photos look amazing. #EspeciallyTheCupcakes #RTWedding

“I don’t know what we’d have to do to convince you,” Ray says with a shrug in the Achievement Hunter office. On his left hand is a plain gold wedding ring, which he turns every now and then, conscious of the weight.

“This is crossing a line,” Geoff tells him. “I don’t mind if you pretend to date for the fans, but shamming a marriage is disrespectful to them. It’s lying-”

Michael intervenes, with his hands raised peaceably in the air. “Whoa, Geoff, where’s this coming from-”

“It’s coming from a man who’s been married ten years,” he replies sharply. “You can pretend to be married for the next decade, and it won’t be anything like a real marriage that’s lasted that long. It’s hard work. It’s what you do when you love somebody. It’s… I don’t even know why I’m bothering with you. I should turn this over to Matt, or Burnie, so you can understand just how serious this kind of shit is. Marriage isn’t funny. It isn’t a joke-”

“We aren’t joking,” Ray interrupts him.

Geoff says, disbelievingly, “Excuse me?”

“We started dating two years ago. At what point did you hear me laughing about it? You’ve crossed a line, Geoff. I’m pretty sure this counts as workplace harassment.”

“When an employee is behaving inappropriately it’s my job to tell them to stop, or risk getting fired-” he says emphatically.

“What do I have to do to prove it to you? Huh, Geoff? Make out with my fucking husband in the middle of the office?” asks Ray, voice getting louder and louder.

“Oh, no, please tell me this isn’t a game of gay chicken that went way too far-”

“I’m taking an early lunch,” Ray says with finality and leaves the room, with his audio synced for a recording that he’ll have to do later. The Xbox 360 and computer screen are left so long that Ryan has to get up and risk Geoff’s wrath to power them down again.

Ray Narvaez, Jr @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman My favourite wedding photo: pic.twitter.com/HiFQBHULPY

It links to a photo of Joel, wearing his suit and hanging upside down from a jungle gym in a playground. His red tie has fallen past his face and a flower girl is running in front of him.

A bundle of envelopes arrive at the office, tied together with a ribbon. Ray comes into the kitchen to find Geoff sitting there with an open envelope, expensive paper slid out of it so the names Heyman and Narvaez are facing up. There are two bottles of beer on the table.

Without a word he goes to the fridge, takes out a vitamin water and sits down next to Geoff, who shrugs and cracks open one of the beers. They drink together and then Geoff sighs, long and resigned. “I fucked up,” he admits.

“You’re an asshole,” Ray tells him.

“Yeah,” Geoff agrees, taking another drink.

When Joel passes by the kitchen, he takes a seat and opens the second bottle. They sit a little closer, but not too close, and smile a little more.

Geoff Ramsey @GeoffLRamsey Late congratulations to @JoelHeyman and @AH_BrownMan, who got married last week in NY. Paid leave counts as a wedding gift, right?

In December, 2013, Joel and Ray film an episode of HUNT.

“The first challenge is in Call of Duty: Ghosts on the Xbox 360,” Ray reads from a sheet of paper as he navigates the menu. “We’ll both play as weapon specialists in Extinction mode, which is pretty much an updated version of Nazi Zombies but with alien hordes.”

“So what do we have to do?” asks Joel, moving through the menu on the now split-screen.

“We have objectives that will come up on the screen, but the winner of this challenge is whoever stays alive the longest,” he tells him as his avatar runs in the direction of the first hive. “Okay, I’m gonna place a drill on this hive, here. Enemies will start assaulting us; you can lay traps and upgrade your weapons-”

“That sounds like Nazi Zombies,” says Joel.

Ray nods, hardly paying attention when other people in the Achievement Hunter office start leaving for lunch. After about twenty minutes, the HUNT challenge is completed with Joel’s death when he tried to snipe several Hunters that were charging him. While setting up for the next challenge, Ray grins at him.

“What?” asks Joel, then, “It was taking way too long.”

“Well, let’s see how you do with the next round. Angry Birds Star Wars: pretty simple, we’ll take turns and whoever beats the level is the winner.”

Joel looks at the screen, pained. “Really?”

“Hey, I didn’t make the list,” Ray says with a shrug and a half-smile. “All we have to do now is choose which birds we’re going to play as-”

An error message comes up on the screen: Xbox is unable to read the disc.

“Oh, no.” He opens the disc drive and holds it up to the light, cleaning it with a microfiber cloth. When he puts it back into the Xbox, it whirs audibly as the icon says, Reading, then goes silent as if there’s no disc in the drive. “Dammit!”

“Is this a problem?” asks Joel, putting his controller on the desk.

“It’s not a big deal. We could probably use Michael’s instead,” but Ray stands up to look at the Xbox 360 anyway, opening the disc drive and putting in another game to see if it will play.

“Or, we could take a break,” Joel suggests.

Michael Jones @AH_Michael @AH_BrownMan @JoelHeyman Behind the scenes of the latest Achievement HUNT: vine.co/v/hl2rPV51mA5 Alternatively titled, ‘I came back from lunch and I have an iPhone, idiots’.

It links to a vine of Ray and Joel ‘playing’ Street Fighter IV on PS3 – four seconds of them jumping and kicking nowhere near each other, then turning to make faces at the camera.