#oracle stuff

- overly feminine/“divine feminine” themes

- decks that use the g slur for the ~aesthetic~

- decks that appropriate chakras, kabbalah, indigenous symbols, etc.

- any deck that has “sexual” in the title ((or just decks that are sex themed lol))

- not the biggest fan of decks that are gilded?? it hurts my hands when i shuffle idk

- pip decks ((decks that don’t have actual art for the minor arcana))

- ANY DECK THAT INCLUDES LILITH AS A GODDESS

Well, now I asked from my Archangel Michael deck why I do feel this tired. I got cards: “Let go of fear... Now” and “You’re on the right path.”

I instantly remembered the dream what I had last night. At first, in the dream, I got lost in this HUGE HUGE mall! I honestly entered one small store in it and I just couldn’t find my way out even that I was sure the door was behind me, but it was not there when I went back! On top of it I lost my sis in the mall too!

Then next I was in front of small old church in the middle of forest / forest area. There was 3 or 4 dark skinned women, all half naked (naked upper body) and there was small group of white skinned people. They were racists and didn’t like these women who, honestly, were harmless but apparently they had magical powers. These women came in front of the group, stating they survived. White people had set them a trap which should had killed them (like a car accident), but they came back without any injuries.

One of the racist’s said; “I knew you would come back. That’s why we are prepared.” and behind those dark skinned women flied big hooks which had 4 smaller “hooks” on them. They pierced every dark skinned woman’s left chest, but they didn’t die. They didn’t even bleed much. One of these women said something as she started to remove the hook, others following her example. However, this group of racists were not happy so they attacked on the women, starting to stab, kick, beat etc. them with anything and everything they could. They wanted them dead - even that they were either hard to kill or immortal.

I woke up and now, as I watch my cards, I know they are connected to my dream. But I don’t understand fully how. I am not racist since people’s skin color means nothing to me. All what I care about is their nature, how they truly are. Are they kind or complete jerks. But one thing, what keeps coming in my mind as I look at the “Fear” card is that maybe, in some level, I fear that my feminine side is being attacked either by outsiders or myself.

But then there’s this “you’re on the right path” card. I know I am going through a healing period emotionally, mentally and spiritually so the dream, with the fear card, can be connected to it.

So, I asked more help / advice from Michael and I got “Sense of Humor” card. I think I need to bring more humor back into my life. After all I keep getting, from other people’s readings, that I should be more child-like, be more playful and let my inner child bloom. I need to start to laugh and enjoy more.

Now, I decided to ask some filling advice from my “Work Your Light” deck and I got: “ Answer the Call” and “Share Your Voice.” In other words, I need to REALLY listen and follow my soul’s calling, answering to it. Doing what it asks me to do. But then I didn’t understand why the voice card is there. I know it’s about singing and talking etc. so I asked more help to it. I got: “Star Mother. How can you Mother yourself?” ... I keep getting this card a lot and it made me laugh. It’s connected to the voice and to how I’m talking to myself. I need to learn to talk to myself like a mother who talks ever so lovingly to her child. With pure love. Nothing more, nothing less.

But still the best ones, what I personally have loved so far, has been a video about woman’s face changing and turning into long and unnatural ugly smirk while her nose and face changes otherwise, her eyes starting to glow in the dark. She was with a team investigating “the cage” called building in UK’s Essex where, in the past, has been held witches. Probably even tortured and killed them. That is seriously THE BEST thing what I have seen! Even one investigator saw her face changing, saying she doesn’t look like a person and that her face changed. She was taken off from the group for safety reasons. She later said after that happening she had suffer from nightmares a long time. That spirit, which caused her face to change, attached itself on her, causing the nightmares. I truly hope she got rid of it!

Then second one was about a man and woman investigating small boat house  building. Man instantly said he feels super sick, heavy negativity and that he just NEEDS to leave. Woman was surprised since she felt fine so she continued with the investigation while man left. She asked questions and received answers from few spirits who, obviously, were men. They said to each other; “What?” “Look, there’s a lady.” “Yeah.” “Yeah.” YEAH.” So in other words those men spirits didn’t like the real man, causing him to feel sick and making him flee, but they were happy and excited to see a woman, not causing anything bad on her. And the fact they called her “lady” shows HUGE respect! They had manners when it came to her :) I find it sweet and also hilarious since they sounded so happy and excited about her. Some male spirits, honestly, do prefer female investigators / company much more better than men. For example those male spirits talked so nasty and rude way to that man investigator, asking him does he want to die, calling him fucking ass etc.

After 3 days it’s finally finished! A moment from my meditation from few days ago. Leonardo was my guide during that meditation and he took me to ancient China to show me 2 of my lives in there. More closer to an end of meditation he sat there smiling on the rock (pic) as I gazed down in tiny village where I had lived those lives.

That’s one of the ways to meditate, but I never focus on my breathing during meditation. To me focusing on my breathing is a great disturb. Instead I do make sure my breathing is nice and calm but then I focus on visualizing things in my mind, which later turns right in front of my eyes like I’m really into that happening, place etc. After the visualizing turns strong enough my mind just “drifts off”. I see, hear and feel loud and clear while having conversation with the being whoever is with me (usually it’s my Spirit Guide Master or one of my favorite fictional characters since, to me, they are our teachers as well) while they show me around, either just having random chat or showing me things from my previous lives etc. I always allow them to lead since they know what, currently, is the best for me.

But everyone has their own way of doing this! There’s no right or wrong way to meditate :) As long as you remember to do protections and ground yourself (), asking and allowing beings only from unconditional love and source’s light to come to you, you’re doing fine and well.

How to do protection? - Imagine yourself in white-gold energy / light ball. You also can imagine Archangel Michael’s blue cape with hood on you. How to do grounding? - Imagine roots coming out of your feet, going deep in the ground or sinking your feet all the way to ankles in soil.