nazupi and mikoda's relationship is like two tsundere's never telling the other how much they love them
no way in hell nazupi's telling mikoda how she actually feels, she never does, she always puts on a million masks and a billion tropes to defend herself from fires, so fire proof you can't feel warmth
mikoda, I'm sure he's acting, but if everyone else can see through both of their masks and understand how allergic to affection nazupi is, but only mikoda can't tell that she's lying, and thinks that she doesn't mind that he left, isn't hurt that he fell to the dark side, that. would hurt..... a lot
mikoda is kind, really kind, so he understands, I'm sure. when he was thinking of quitting the police, which is a thought he had for months.(when I learned of this, every clip within the span of march to may 2024 that I watched, I couldn't help but think that behind the laughs and happy moments they shared, he quietly thought that he would abandon it all in may)
and. he kept it all a secret. because he knew, or at least expected, that she would be hurt if she knew, that she wouldn't do the police work out of enjoyment, without constantly thinking of him leaving. until the day that he was retiring, when he talked about it with min dori first, nazupi accidentally walked by the room and saw them talking, when nazupi asked about it, mikoda lied, said that they talked about dark mechanics(like underground society related to nashima or smth, not criminals being mechanics, that's normal)
nazupi is sharp enough to realize that, that's not something mikoda cares about enough to talk about with just mindori in that setting(kinda private room). it was a bad lie, mikoda's bad at lying, but he thought, and he cared,
and he wanted that, nazupi would learn of it when he tells her privately, when he tells her directly, from one buddy to another, so that she doesn't have to learn it as "contents of a conversation between her buddy mikoda and min dori", or work with him for weeks, hours, all while knowing that he would quit, or worst, learns about it as "yesterday's news", like nel and runrun did.
something that was on my mind, mikoda's leave hurt nazupi, sure, but mikoda was much more active than nazupi, way after he quit. nazupi, on the other hand, was burnt out. suppose mikoda kept playing police for as long as nazupi did, until April, 2025, or something. when nazupi stopped waking up, mikoda would be left alone. unlike nazupi, mikoda's been alone before. during the 2? weeks of vcrgta2, the police would go as low as 0, mikoda worked hard to be on duty when almost all of his friends were together elsewhere, without him.
nazupi is falling victim to the self fulfilling prophecy, where one acts believing that they’re not loved, and ends up not being loved for the distant way they act. if she could just be more honest, let her guard down to affection, take off her mask to speak her heart, maybe, she wouldn't end up hurting herself and the people she loves.
the beauty and pain of stgr is that people don't know, they do things that hurt, but they don't know it, they don't know the other's thoughts, some things are out of people's control, and they hurt others, and they get hurt, and that's how life is, scripted works can't achieve that as naturally, in a place where people sell their souls to love and pain.
