#opalvoids

This is my second tumblr account. My first one had been inactive for years but it was years worth of activity. I didn’t even want to open it before deciding on making a completely new account and then I panicked immediately realizing I changed my username towards the end of my first one, what if never remember it. I could only recall one username and it was the only person I couldn’t ask for help because they would have entirely too many questions and all the clues.

Anyways, I got it to my original and almost immediately scrapped this one and felt horribly for abandoning my first collection of selves.

Then I searched for you, my original muse, the person who I felt I loved so dearly for almost a decade. The posts hadn’t changed since the last time I looked which had to been around when we went our separate ways. For a moment I was disappointed I couldn’t peer into your mindset now but I was also overwhelmed with happiness to be reminded of that version of you.

I’m going to be honest, I haven’t missed you since the end. I always had a soft spot for you, that told me we were something different that shouldn’t be ignored. I learned in time that wasn’t something possible for us and it quickly became fear and survival. I do not hope you think of me if you are the person I knew last.

Maybe you went back to old ways and found yourself again. Made yourself comfortable in your own skin. Maybe you write love letters again. Maybe you feel love like you never have before.

I digress — I decided to stick with a new account. Go for a level of anonymity. Say what I want to say so that another version of myself can find it or maybe lovers from along the way and they can reminisce and romanticize all the experiences this life has given them.