#ooto:task

---

please write one self-para of your character choosing the song, and performing it in front of their fellow drama club classmates. if it’s applicable, make sure to explain what your character feels about the song and how it is relevant to their current situations. this para will be private to the character, and can be used to further plot lines or deepen understanding of headcanons. 

once you’re done, tag it as ooto:task. we’d like to ask all players to participate. for any questions, please message the main or post in the discord.

The drama assignment that Miss Jenn had given them hadn’t exactly been easy for Ricky, but then again: None of them really were. He did like music, and singing and playing guitar, but he still wasn’t an actor. He was definitely more well versed in musicals these days though, mainly because Nini watched them all with him, and this time around he was actually paying attention.

He had ended up going through a lot of lists he had found on the internet, and also considered asking Nini for help, because she was the one who knew him best. If anyone knew a good song for him to sing, then it was her. Ricky had, however, realized that it would probably be considered cheating. He was supposed to find a song that held a lot of meaning to him, right? Not one that Nini thought he’d be good at singing.

It had struck him in the middle of the night. He had attempted to call Nini, but realized it was probably too late, and that she was asleep already. So, Ricky had turned around and tried to get some sleep. He didn’t remember actually falling asleep, but when he woke up his heart was pounding in his chest and he felt his hands shaking. 

A nightmare. 

He wasn’t even sure what it had been about, but it had left him with a sense of dread, and the fear of falling back asleep. Lying in the dark, he had remembered that evening during summer, when his Dad had been out, and he had flipped around the channels to find something to watch.

He had eventually come across a movie he vaguely remembered. It was one that Nini had loved, but the first time around she had tried to watch it with him, Ricky had straight up fallen asleep. 

This time around he didn’t, which was mainly due to the fact that he was avoiding going back to sleep at all cost. The movie wasn’t as bad as he had remembered, but it probably wouldn’t be one of his favorites either in the near future. Still, there was a song that had immediately resonated with him. He wasn’t even sure why at first, but at the end of it, Ricky found himself sitting in an empty living room, crying.

It hadn’t been until now, when he had come across it again, that he remembered the entire ordeal. He tried not thinking about last summer anyways, because it reminded him of losing Nini, and also his Mom, but sometimes, out of nowhere, it would hit him. He had thought about it again during rehearsals, when they had been close to being cancelled, and now it had come back again, like a reminder of that godawful summer and everything he had lost then.

“Ricky, it’s your turn.” Miss Jenn’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he nodded, picking up his chair and carrying it to center stage. He could feel everyone looking at him expectantly, and briefly wondered what they were expecting. 

An upbeat song? A powerful ballad? Yeah, people would probably expect those of him. Something dramatic was reserved for EJ, right?

Ricky could feel his chest tighten as he thought back to how it had been so easy for Nini to leave him. Surely, he had been the one to screw things up, but why couldn’t she have just pushed back? Told him that taking a break was a bad idea?

“There's a grief that can't be spoken, There's a pain goes on and on. Empty chairs at empty tables, Now my friends are dead and gone.”

His voice rang through the room, quiet at first, as if he was trying to bring himself to even say the words out loud.

“Here they talked of revolution, Here it was they lit the flame, Here they sang about tomorrow and tomorrow never came.”

A picture of his mother flashed before his eyes, how she was waving at him, both of them on opposite sides of the security check point at the airport. She had promised that time would fly, and she’d be back in soon. Ricky had often asked himself if she had already known that she wasn’t coming back. He didn’t resent her for wanting to get out of a marriage that clearly wasn’t working anymore, but to up and leave and build an entirely new life for herself without even so much as mentioning it?

It was selfish, and it still made his chest tighten a little whenever he thought about her.

“Oh my friends, my friends forgive me That I live and you are gone There's a grief that can't be spoken, And there's a pain goes on and on”

Catching sight of Gina for a moment, Ricky could feel his sight getting blurry. It took him a moment to realize that it was tears pooling in his eyes that made everything fuzzy. It wasn’t Gina’s fault that she had left, and she had come back in the end, but it wasn’t the same. Back then he had thought that…pushing that thought aside Ricky noticed that he had gotten up, the chair tumbling over behind him.

“Phantom faces at the window, Phantom shadows on the floor, Empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will meet no more. Oh my friends, my friends don't ask me What your sacrifice was for,”

His voice was breaking ever so slightly as he sang now, hands shaking where they were curled into his jeans to prevent just that, as if he was holding on for dear life. Or maybe his sanity. 

His head was spinning just a little as he eventually caught sight of EJ, tears falling from his eyes as he attempted to blink them away. 

EJ. Who had somehow managed to weasel his way into Ricky’s heart. Who texted him every day, just to say good night. Who invited him out for ice cream and who smiled that smile that made Ricky’s knees go weak.

EJ, who’d be off to college in less than a year.  Leaving Ricky behind.

Ms. Jenn’s assignment to perform a song to the drama club made Nini anxious. It wasn’t performing a song, but having to pick one that meant something to her, that would allow her classmates to see in her head for a moment, was scary. 

But as nervous as it made her, Nini also wasn’t one to take the easy way out. Yeah, she could sing something like This is Me from the Greatest Showman and it’d be great. No one would blink twice. But Nini knew she could do better than that, she could dig deeper than that. 

She could almost hear Ricky teasing her for taking the assignment too seriously. Or EJ saying “wow looks like I’m not the only one playing to win”. Not that you would win at singing a song in drama club, but still. And honestly, it annoyed Nini that she was still “hearing” her exes voices, commenting on what she was going to do. Kourtney had been right - she really was overly interested in what boys thought of her. Of what everyone thought of her. And that annoyed her even more. 

Nini had that whole big epiphany before Homecoming about being done with boys and it had lasted, what? A few weeks? Then she was back in a relationship with Ricky. Which had been great, until it wasn’t. Though the breakup had been a lot better this time around. Mutual and no hard feelings. They’d stayed friends, even if things were a little awkward at the moment. It was the right call.

So no, when it came to picking a song, she didn’t want a love song. People would read into it and she’s more than just someone’s girlfriend or love interest or whatever. No, she needed something strong. Something that gave her the confidence that Dr. Dresden had yet again chipped away at. It was like he was out to make her life as miserable as possible. From telling her she was just “high school talented” to telling her she needed to grow a backbone and that “nice girls never gets the lead, sweetheart”. 

Nini scrolled through her musical soundtrack playlist and grinned: she had found the perfect song.

-- 

Nini took the stage, still nervous but also more confident and self-assured than she had been in a long time. Preparing the song had done wonders for her confidence and had been great for giving her a place to channel a lot of anger that she hadn’t been aware she’d been carrying. 

(Even if she had almost switched songs in last period in a fit of nerves.)

Nini generally saw anger as counterproductive and something to not be indulged, but as the song started, she let it go, let it consume her so she could redirect it into her performance. She was angry and that was okay. The good news and the bad news was that there wasn’t really anyone specific she was mad at except Dresden and maybe herself. So it wasn’t a callout song, but more of a general upset song. And boy, was she upset. 

Decidedly looking at spot on the back wall, she took a deep breath and started to sing:

So your best friend screwed you over Acted nice when she's not nice Well, I have some advice 'Cause it's happened to me twice

More like three times for Nini. Ricky, EJ and Gina (though she and Gina hadn’t actually been friends yet when the whole wonderstudy thing happened. But still, even discounting that, Ricky and EJ had both messed up in a big way and then tried to play it off like no big deal. Nini rolled her shoulders, and focused on the next part of the song:

Here's my secret strategy It always works because The world doesn't end It just feels like it does

Nini could attest to that, having spent 48 hours in her room when she and Ricky were “paused.” Or when she found out EJ had given Emily Platt low-grade food poisoning, which had made her question being cast as Gabriella. Both had sucked, but she had come out the other side stronger each time. 

Slowly, she lifted her right hand.

So raise your right finger And solemnly swear "Whatever they say about me I don't care!"

Nini does care, but she’s working on not caring. Or at the very least, caring less. And focusing on just being who she is and being okay with that. She had gotten permission from Ms. Jenn ahead of performing to make the hand gesture. It wasn’t something she normally would ever do, but the performance demanded it. The room felt tense, but she wasn’t sure how much of that was her projecting it and how much was actually tension from the audience. 

I won't twist in knots to join your game I will say, "you make me mad" And if you treat me bad I'll say "you're bad"

Nini didn’t want to be the person who got walked all over. She knew she was nice and she liked being nice, but that didn’t make her a doormat. She’s done letting things slide. Letting people say mean things to her and forgiving them after a half-hearted apology - or no apology at all. Or letting her weekend drama teacher, Dr. Dresden, be the world’s biggest jerk under the guise of helping her grow as a performer. 

We're supposed to all be ladies And be nurturing and care Is that really fair? Boys get to fight, we have to share

Here's the way that turns out We always understand How to slap someone down With our underhand

Nini rolled her eyes.

Really, it was a bullshit double-standard. Pitting girls against each other and things being super catty. Like the first two months she knew Gina? Cattiness, sabotage, and mild kleptomania and for what? The lead in a musical? 

She was still determinedly not looking at anyone in the audience. She didn’t want to see their reactions because this wasn’t for them.

This was for her.

'Cause sometimes what's meant to break you Makes you brave So I will not act all innocent I won't fake apologize Let's just fight and then make up, not tell these lies

She knows theater is cutthroat and being nice is a choice, but it’s a choice she makes and can just as easily not make. Disagreements are healthy as long as they’re discussed, not fought over. And, really, how often had she been asked to understand what someone else was going through as an excuse for their bad behavior? 

She took a deep breath, getting more and more passionate and worked up.

Let's call our damage even Clean the slate till it's like new It's a new life for me Where I'd rather be me I'd rather be me Than be with you

Okay, so there was a blanket forgiveness there. But more of a “starting now, things are going to be different”, because they were! Nini was going to be better at putting herself first. She was going to be okay by herself and, this time, she really was done with boys. Especially boys who don’t know how to apologize when they’re being punks or theater professors who revel in being mean. She deserves better than that. 

I don't need their good opinions I have plenty of opinions Everybody has opinions but it doesn't make them true What's true is being me And I'd rather be me I'd rather be me than be with you

Nini knows who she is. She likes who she is. Nini smiled as she hit her stride in the song and really just enjoyed the moment and the joy of performing.

So raise them high 'cause playing nice and shy is insulting my IQ If post-theater camp, fall semester was Nini 2.0, then this is Nini 2.1 - the upgrade. She’ll be nice. She’ll be a good friend, a great performer, and work harder than she ever has. But she’s done being the wallflower, the easy target for when someone’s mad and wants to take it out on someone. 

I'd rather be me than be with you