#oops!!!!!

3 foot tall FREAK !!!!!

THE INSANE SMILER…

Glitchy and pixelated

Full of envy, pent up hatred, DESPERATELY CRAVES REVENGE.

Kinda ugly </3

Or at least. Unconventional!

Used to drive a car when he was popular

I know there’s a difference between being a car spokesman and being a racer but it’s close enough <3 Spamton would not know how to drive a cungadero they just told him to pose in there and smile. Ok Headcanon OVER !!!!

Had it all in the 80s/90s before losing the spotlight

Turbo did his bullshit in 1987 (actual road blasters release year) and Spamton did his bullshit in 1997

Only really known as an unspeakable rumor and lives in infamy

It’s more like everyone “moved on” from Spamton and forgot about him (or at least tried to forget about him…) where with Turbo what he did was so bad that he’s only known for that ONE thing

Goes in hiding for decades

Spamton has his alleyway dumpster, and maybe other areas of cyber city with low traffic. Turbo’s hiding was implied to have been in the depths of game central station until Sugar Rush was plugged in. (Which I think was asked about in an AMA) Both are like. ~30 YEARS of hiding 💀

Would go any length for the same attention again

The interesting thing about this is Turbo DOES win. He does get that attention back by disguising as King Candy and being able to race again, and he keeps it for however long Sugar Rush was around for before the events of the movie. Spamton never gets it back…

But at least Spamton doesn’t get INCINERATED so I’d say he’s better off, even if the best outcome is him becoming an item

Dependent on some kid for his plan to work

Although Spamton’s relationship with Kris (dependent on them helping him) is pretty different than King Candy’s relationship with Vanellope (dependent on her not interfering) I still think it’s funny that they both have beef with children

Later attempted murder of said kid

Quality villains out here not even hesitating to kill kids to get what they want !!!

Imitated/fabricated identity

Spamton imitates Swatch, Turbo fabricates (?) King Candy

Stupid catchphrase

NOW’S YOUR CHANCE TO BE [TurboTastic!]

BOSS BATTLE FORM IS FUCKKKKED

They essentially have the same monologue of “THANKS TO YOU I'M MORE POWERFUL THAN EVER!! But it's not enough... so I'm going to kill you anyways"

I think King Candybug’s Face resembles SNEO in a weird way. Mostly just the big eyes and weird nose and THE SMILERRRRR. They have very similar vibes! I will stop myself now!

Virus/malware adiacent

Turbo literally claims he’s a virus by the end of the movie and Spamton is Spamton

Critically Acclaimed Tumblr Man (and hated)

From my RESEARCH. (Aka. Looking up art of him) Apparently a lot of people on tumblr liked Turbo in 2013. And those people have since become spamton people (perhaps ……) I guess that is me now too. Really unfortunate

Lore ties into a real life video game (Petz & Road Blasters)

In the sweepstakes spamton was kinda confirmed to come from a Petz game. I also didn’t know road blasters was Real until I started looking into it . (TurboTime is fake tho) But there’s a very specific similarity for you. Fucked up characters blurring the lines into real life my beloved

Rivalry/broken friendship with Those similar looking fellas (I’m running out of brain power here)

Spamton had the Addisons, which were like his friends? Fellow advertisers. Looked a bit like him, just taller with different colors. Spamton left them after becoming a big shot because he thought he didn’t need them anymore…

Turbo had the “turbo twins” (the 2 other blue racers in his game) idk if that’s their official name cuz they kinda barely exist in canon.. I think it’s popular fanon that Turbo is shorter than both of them, but that’s actually not true. But I’m still gonna count it. Anyways he KILLED them when he got turbotime unplugged. THEYRE DEAD.

Extreme temperature related death (is this a stretch)

Less of a similarity and more of an interesting contrast

Turbo burns to death when he’s INCINERATED in diet cola mountain. I could ramble about this a lot but. That’s for my second account

And Spamton NEO (in snowgrave at least) is FROZEN SOLID by noelle. He shouldn’t have asked for that ice cream man

Anyways I get similar vibes from those guys..

I hope they explode.

Also thinking more about this is making me realize how similar in concept deltarune and Wreck it Ralph are. As in, those apps and computer programs in the computer lab ? Yeah they’re alive and theres a whole ass cyber city and mansion and theres a ton of little guys living in there! (And same goes for the card kingdom in chapter 1)

He'd been able to smell George already at the steps of the castle, swinging off his horse. The too-much way George always smelled, so ripe and rich and needy it was something half the kingdom talked about; the first thing Alex thought of when George's father offered Alex his hand. He'd only even spoken with George a handful of times then, but George had been around the palace enough, and he smelled like no one else. 

Like a whore, he and George had both heard one of Alex's councelors say the night after the wedding, drunk on good wine and thinking he was whispering. 

Now, it's. It's true, Alex thinks shamefully, finally loosening the last knot at his side and letting his chest plate clatter loudly to the floor, Patrick huffing behind him and moving to work on his chainmail. The whole room, the whole castle, is swamped with scent like a brothel sprays against their pillows, and everyone knows it's from Alex's mate. Knows it's this bad because he was left alone for days of his heat, Alex half the county away. 

"I know you're not thinking right now," Patrick tells him, lifting the heavy chainmail over his head, "but you need to listen to me. George is–he's not as you left him." 

He's not as he was just a few moments ago, whimpering and sobbing so loudly Alex could hear it as he ran up the hall. His body's still twisted on the bed, tangled in the thin pale sheet, cocooned in piles of Alex's furs, but he's quieted now, with Alex in the room. Like his body knows, Alex thinks, thrumming, that Alex has what it needs. 

Patrick unlocks the last piece of Alex's armor and Alex lunges away, fumbling toward the bed and stripping his under layers off at the same time. 

"My lord," Patrick says, edge of panic in his voice, and then, just as Alex leans one hand into the mattress, pulling the sheet back from George's chest as George turns, sleepy, toward him, "Alex."

Alex blinks down at the soft, pale shape of George's body, his brain so full of nothing but just, George, it takes a long, clicking moment for him to figure out what–what he sees. 

The sheet clenched in Alex's hand has been draped over George's stomach, but now, nothing covering him, Alex sees a new, gentle curve to him there, the skin a tight, mottled red. 

George's arm sweeps out across the bed, his fingers brushing Alex's thigh, and then settling there, fingertips flexing into Alex. 

"George," Alex breathes. He leans all his weight on one hand and reaches forward to flatten his other, shaking, against the bottom curve of George's belly. He strokes up, over the bump of George's navel, and George sighs, turns into his touch. 

"Alex," Patrick says again from behind him. "My lord, it's not–"

Alex nods. Of course it's not his. He's never been through a heat with George. George hasn't even had a heat since their wedding, until now.

He turns to Patrick, pulling his hand off George and pressing it to his own thigh, holding the warmth of it against his skin. 

"Who else knows," he asks, intent. 

Patrick shakes his head, serious. "Me and Aleix."

He hears George shift behind him, and then his hand comes to the inside of Alex's knee, trails up and turns, his palm cupping sweaty at Alex's balls. 

Alex has been hard since before he stepped in the room. His dick hangs heavy between him and Patrick, and Patrick hadn't seemed bothered, years of dressing and undressing Alex, pulling him out of brothels when he was younger, but his eyes track George's hand now, and then flick away, and he flushes.

"Good," Alex tells him. "No one else will. Promise me." Patrick must have been hiding George for most of the two months Alex has been gone, for him to be showing this much. They can keep up the lie a little longer, and by the time the baby is born, no one will think anything about dates and months.  

Patrick looks back at him, his face flickering with surprise, and then it settles, calmer than he's looked since Alex first rode up. He smiles, soft. "Of course."

George wraps his legs around Alex as soon as Alex climbs into bed with him, pulling Alex into his body, until Alex's hip bones are dug into the flat insides of George's thighs, and Alex's cock is rubbing against the underside of George's belly. 

"I'm so late, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Alex can hear himself saying, over and over and over like that makes up for not being here to help ease George into his heat as soon as they started scenting it. To not watch his stomach grow, to map it every morning with his hands. 

George is drenched in sweat, the sheet he had half-tangled around himself translucent with it, and sticky-stiff where it was twined between his legs, soaking up slick and come. 

His hands scramble at Alex, fingers searching, and when Alex takes one in his and presses his lips to George's palm, he comes away with his lips salty and damp. 

George's fingers dig hard into the back of Alex's shoulder, tugging at the muscle that's been aching for weeks on the battlefield, and Alex leans in, helpless. 

George's belly bumps up against his own, and Alex groans, and then George is surging up, meeting Alex's mouth with his, and Alex thinks, for the first time since riding through the gate, up the path he knows by the pattern of his horses hooves on it, through hallways he's spent his life in, I'm home.

Alex brings both of his hands to George's stomach, spanning them there, feeling the weight inside George shift gently under his touch. 

The base of his dick is heavy and warm, like he's halfway to knotting already. He tells George, mindless, that he'll never leave the palace again, that George's body is the most amazing thing on earth, that he's unbelievable, growing their baby for him.