#onwook

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Ryeowook only wanted to be loved back by others; he only wanted to protect those younger than him. Everyone knew how lonely he was for being an only child and that being part of Super Junior had made him experience living with his brothers. He was excited to be in a large family; to experience love from his hyungs and saengs. He smiled wide and proud as he faced them, he knew deep down, this is a place he would never trade in for anything.

It was peaceful in his dorm as everyone had their things to attend to, it’s Christmas Eve nonetheless. He sighed as he gazed out into the night and watched the snow fall gracefully down the already covered pavement. He feels relaxed but he knew something was missing.

Then he heard a soft knock from the dorm and he attended to it.

“Hi hyung!” A smiling blonde was there along with his triplets who were holding bags of food (and Ryeowook guesses chicken).

“Oh what brings you three here?” Ryeowook asked and the three greeted him in a melodious chorus. “Come in you three.” Ryeowook invited them and settled themselves in the dining room. The three took out the food they brought along with a couple cans of beer and a few bottles of soju.

“What’s with all the alcohol?” Ryeowook asked and the cheeky eldest of the trio spoke.

“You can tolerate so much alcohol hyung so we just made sure we brought enough.” Sunggyu said as he took a seat.

“Sit down hyung, let’s party!” Henry said as he pressed the play button of the dorm’s stereo and party music blasted. Ryeowook shook his head but smiled wide.

They ate and laughed and shared stories until the two eldest of the 89 line were now sleeping on the couch, looking like fluffy hamsters. Ryeowook chuckled at how cute the babies are; and yes he babies the three so much that he doesn’t even deny it.

“Cute isn’t it?” Onew said as he stood next to his hyung who nodded.

“I’m glad you three got along.” Ryeowook replied with a smile.

“Why wouldn’t we get along when you brought us three together. Thanks hyung.” Onew said and Ryeowook was almost tearing up.

“You’re welcome.” He replied.

“Hyung have I thanked you enough?” Onew asked and Ryeowook gave him a questioning look.

Onew smiled.

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flashback (2012)

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He wasn’t sure what to do anymore, the weight on his shoulders were as the weight of the world on Atlas’ back. He was crumbling like sandcastles and he knew too well that he sucked at his current state.

Depression

The dreaded word surfaced as he hugged his knees and cried endless. No one can comfort him, not even SHINee’s strongest member.

His heart was crushed and weighed down by a lot of negativities that he was sure he wouldn’t be able to recover. He was restless and his world famous smile wouldn’t even surface, not even the fake ones he used to practice.

He was broken.

“Onew.” A soft voice called him but he didn’t look up. “Hey Onew.” The voice called him again and this time, he looked up to meet the soft brown eyes of his Ryeowook hyung. “Can I sit with you?” Ryeowook asked but Onew just dropped his head on his knees. Ryeowook took the chance to sit next to the younger male, back flushed on the cold bedroom wall.

“Feeling down again baby?” Ryeowook asked, addressing the younger as his own child. “You can always tell me what’s bothering you.” Ryeowook urges the younger to speak but no sound came from the younger, except for the sobs and sniffles.

“You do know that by sulking here, you are damaging the sanity of your group members as well.” Ryeowook said, making Onew look at him momentarily.

“You are their leader and seeing you broken like this makes them broken as well.” Ryeowook said with a gentle smile. “You know what make Leeteuk hyung the best leader?” Ryeowook said, locking eyes with the younger. “Because he stays strong for his members. We’re 13, well 15, and he has to guide all of us, protect us and stand up for us; it’s tough. Because he’s the leader, he always showed how strong he was to us and to the world.” Ryeowook explained

“But Hyung is fragile and we all know it, he’s not afraid to tell and show everyone this side because it only makes him more human. He tells us when he needs a break, when the role and responsibility os too much for him. He’s not afraid to ask for help from others, because being a leader also means acknowledging the things you lack as a person. We are not perfect” Ryeowook paused then turned to the younger.

“Onew, it’s okay to show your weakness but you have to let them know what you feel. Your members will understand, they will try to help you.” Ryeowook said and Onew instantly hugged him and cried.

“Hyung. I just…” Onew was letting out all the pain in his heart and Ryeowook listened and comforted him, rubbing circles on his back.

“Don’t worry Onew, you’ll comeback as a better person, a stronger leader and a killer performer.” Ryeowook said and it made the younger smile through the tears, a first after so long.

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“It’s really nothing Onew.” Ryeowook smiled at him warmly and Onew shook his head.

“It was everything hyung, you saved me and perhaps SHINee. You made me realize that I am not alone and I have 4 other members who became my brothers. And most importantly, you helped me become a stronger person. Thanks hyung.” Onew said as he embraced Ryeowook, who was surprised but very willingly hugged back.

“Anything for my baby.” Ryeowook said as he kissed the top of Onew’s head and hugged him back.

He then felt warm arms around his waist and another head on his shoulder. “You miss me hyung? You miss henwook’s infamous back hug?” Henry asked as he gave the older a sleepy smile; it made Ryeowook chuckle. “Yes Henry, I miss our back hugs.” He replied.

“No way, you two are hogging my favorite hyung!” Sunggyu said as he too wrapped his arm around Ryeowook and rested his head on the elder’s shoulder. “and I thought you said Heechul was your favorite hyung?’ Ryeowook commented but Sunggyu shook his head cutely, Ryeowook laughed a little louder.

“Now you three look like clingy little hamsters, let me go.” Ryeowook said but the three just shook their head and hugged him tighter. “Aigoo, my babies are very clingy.” He breathed out and smiled. “Merry Christmas and thank you.” Ryeowook said, the three looked at him with confused looks.

“Because you made my dream of being a hyung come true.” Ryeowook confessed with blushing cheeks and the three kissed him on the cheeks which turned even redder.

“Anything for you hyung. Merry Christmas.” The three said in chorus.

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