#onlytemporary

You felt a pang deep in your chest when you saw his beautiful features contorted in pain as he tried to hold the dam in his eyes to prevent the tears that he knew were inevitable anyway. He let his hair grow out long again and you loved it, but it wasn't long enough to hide the tears that you saw brimming in the corners of his irresistible eyes.

Maybe your ears were deceiving you. Maybe your brain concocted his words in a failed attempt to fill the awkward silence that was now surrounding you and your best friend. At that moment, you started to question where it all went wrong. How could YOU have been so wrong about your own feelings this whole time and why did it take you so long to realize? This is not how it was supposed to turn out anyway. It’s not like what you guys had was real. All you wanted was to hurt Jaekyong and make him feel what you felt for the past 5 months. It wasn’t even your idea! It was Taehyung’s from the very beginning, so why did you feel like you were being broken up with all over again?

“What? Why?” were the only words that you could choke out in response and even they sounded like a squeak.

Taehyung opened his eyes as he tried to read your expression. He could have sworn that he heard your voice crack as if you were on the verge of tears. He quickly closed his eyes again determined to get everything off of his chest.

“Y/N-ah” you heard Taehyung say softly.

 “It was only supposed to be temporary, right?” you cut him off in an effort to console yourself and brush off your own bubbling emotions. 

“You can’t be serious, it's 3 am” Jaekyong said with an incredulous look on his face.

“GET OUT” you said louder this time, surprising yourself at the yell that escaped your lips. You were enraged and hurt and felt so betrayed.

“Damn, ok Y/N! You’re fucking crazy, you know that right? You’re overreacting and being pranoid as hell. She’s just a friend, but whatever.”

You couldn't believe that in a time like this, Jaekyong had the nerve to make you seem like you were the person in the wrong. He has always been selfish, but this was a new low, even for him.

“I’m done with being your afterthought. Just give me my key and get the hell out of my apartment Jae”

With a glaring look on his face, Jaekyong threw the covers off of his body and swung his legs down from your bed. He stood up and you took one long gaze at the man before you whom you loved with your whole heart. 

He grabbed his jeans off your floor and pulled his keys out. It took what felt like ages while you watched him fiddle with the keyring. He removed your apartment key and threw it at the ground in front of you. He wordlessly dressed himself and shuffled over to stand directly in front of you. 

He reached up to cup your chin in his right hand. His thumb rested right below your bottom lip and the rest of his fingers laid under your chin. He tilted your head up so that your eyes were locked and with a slick smile said “Call me when you’ve pulled the stick out your ass, babe.”

With that, he left. The only evidence of someone else having been in your apartment was the loud slam that came from your front door as he left you alone with your thoughts.

When you were finally alone, the dam broke and the tears flowed endlessly as you sank to the floor. You were proud of yourself for holding your ground, but you couldn’t shake the empty feeling inside of your chest. It felt like there was a gaping hole where your heart should be and every breath felt labored. You longed for comfort and for someone to just hold you and stroke your hair, someone to let you know that everything would be ok. 

Your mind immediately went to Taehyung. He was the only person who you could be one hundred percent free with. Though you were in a relationship with Jaekyong, Taehyung held a special place in your heart since childhood that no one else could ever fill. You told yourself that everyone had a best friend like this, so to you, it wasn’t that weird that he played such an important role in your life. He was always there for you, you were always there for him, and this was one of those moments where you needed him the most. 

You checked the clock unsure of how long you've been crouched on the floor crying. Seeing that it was 3:37, you felt bad about calling him so late. Looking at your cell phone, you went back and forth between whether or not you should bother him at this time, but you were sure that he’d understand. You dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.

“Y/N-ah” Taehyung croaked. 

Guilt washed over you at hearing his sleepy voice.You fumbled for words not sure how to explain what just happened.

“Hey, Taetae -I uh.... Um, it's just that-” was all you could get out before Taehyung cut you off.

“A-Are you crying, Y/N? What happened? Is everything ok?”

The amount of concern in his voice was characteristic of Taehyung. He’s the type of person who cares deeply for the ones that he loves. He could immediately tell that something was wrong and you made a mental note to be more appreciative of how empathetic and insightful your best friend was.

“He’s been cheating on me”

Taehyung let out a soft sigh.

“Oh, Y/N...I’m so sorry”

“I tried so hard for us to work” you sobbed into the phone.

“I know you did Y/N. Where are you right now? Are you home?”

“Mmhmm”

“Hold tight for me, ok? I’ll be right there”

“Tae, you don’t have to come over. I just wanted to talk. Your words always have a way of making me feel better”

“That’s because I know you better than you know yourself Y/N-ie” Tae said with a chuckle. “Anyway, I know I don’t have to come over, but I want to. See you in a few, ok?”

You knew that there was no use in trying to fight it so you just sighed and agreed. Taehyung’s place was only about a12 minute walk away so you decided to freshen up not wanting him to see you looking like a mess.

Taehyung’s POV

“Anyway, I know I don’t have to come over, but I want to. See you in a few, ok?”

Pissed off wouldn’t even begin to describe how you were feeling at the moment.

“What a piece of shit!” you said out loud to yourself. “I always hated that guy”

You got out of bed and threw on a t-shirt and ruffled your hair a bit. As you walked to your front door, an idea hit you. You turned around and walked to your closet to search for the hoodie that you knew was Y/N’s favorite. Once you laid eyes on the dark green material, you grabbed it and set out to help comfort your best friend.

The walk to Y/N’s apartment was a familiar route to you. You guys would always hang out at your place listening to songs you wrote while Y/N just stared at you and listened to you talking about different chords, notes, and melodies. Afterwards, you would always walk Y/N home just to spend a few more minutes with her.

There was never another girl who meant as much to you as Y/N did. Sure, you had dated plenty of girls, but none of it was serious. It was hard to juggle a romantic relationship, a successful music career, spend time with your family, and spend time with your best friend. In the end, the romantic relationships just fell by the wayside because as much as it was hard to admit, at some point, you developed feelings for Y/N that were more than platonic. You were too afraid to ruin what was already golden between the two of you. Too bad she didn’t feel the same way, or at least that’s what you convinced yourself to believe. 

All of the deep thinking kept you occupied and before you knew it, you were at Y/N’s doorstep waiting for her to answer your knocks. When the door opened, you were met with the most dejected face you have ever seen on Y/N. Despite this, she was still beautiful and you were shocked at how the girl from your childhood had the ability to make your heart skip a beat.

“Hey Taetae”

Y/N looked up at you like a sad puppy.

“Hi Y/N” you said as you wrapped your arms around her and pulled her in for an embrace. Her warm vanilla scent filled your nose. She felt tense at first but began to loosen up in your arms as you felt a wet spot on your t-shirt start to form where her tears made themselves at home.

“I brought you something”

You broke the hug and held up her favorite green hoodie. Her eyes lit up at you as she immediately grabbed the sweatshirt from your hands and put it on. She was swimming in the fabric that fit you perfectly, but somehow managed to reach mid thigh on her frame. She closed the front door and you followed her into her bedroom.

“Thanks for coming Taehyung-ie. I don’t know what I would do without you”

“Lucky for you, you don’t ever have to worry about that” you said with a smirk.

“Unless I get tired of seeing your face” Y/N joked. A bubble forming from her stuffy nose.

“Yah, go blow your nose Y/N! And don’t be so sassy!” you joked back.

You made yourself comfortable sitting on Y/N’s bed with your back against the headboard. Through the many years of your friendship, you both had many sleepovers at each other's childhood homes so this was nothing weird for the two of you. 

Y/N climbed onto the bed, wedged herself under your left arm and laid her head on your shoulder. It felt nice being close to your best friend again. When Y/N and Jaekyong started dating, you guys spent less time together because he was jealous and always said negative things about you. Out of respect for their relationship, you decided to only hang out alone in public places instead of at each other's places.

“You know, Y/N, he never deserved you.” you said softly.

You reached your right arm around the front of both of you and rubbed her arm up and down.

“I know you are right Tae, it's just hard to accept that he’d do this to me. I mean, I've given so much to make this relationship work and he just threw it all away like it meant nothing. There were times when he would make me feel insecure but I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. Now I just fell stupid.”

You let out a deep sigh and tisked at her comment.

“Y/N I’m not trying to be right, I'm just telling you the truth. There is no reason for you to feel stupid or ashamed that you gave the relationship your all. That's just who you are and why you are so special. Anyone would be blind not to see how great of a person you are. It’s unfortunate that Jaekyong’s such a jerk and I’m sorry that you had to experience this with him. That’s why I said he never deserved you. He never appreciated all that you had to give.”

“Thank you so much Tae” Y/N whispered.

“Hey, sorry to wake you.” Jaekyong said.

In that instant your nose was hit with the strong smell of liquor and you knew immediately where he had been. You weren’t fond of all of Jaekyong’s friends, especially Dongsoo, but at least you made an effort to be friendly. All Dongsoo cared about was sleeping around and drinking so it took a lot of effort for you to try and be friends with him. Regardless, you loved your boyfriend so you tried for him.

“You were out with Dongsoo again, huh” you spat.

“Yeah, I was. What’s the problem with that?”

“You do realize that it’s our 7 month anniversary, right? Jaekyong, I texted and called you all night. Why didn’t you respond to me? How could you forget that we were going to go out to dinner tonight?”

Jaekyong just stared at you with a blank look on his face. After what felt like an eternity all he could muster up was “Oh, yeah. Sorry babe, I forgot.”

“Why didn’t you answer me though? You still haven’t explained to me why you were ignoring your girlfriend. I saw you leave my messages on read.”

Jaekyong rolled his eyes and threw his head back. He covered his face with his hand and you could tell that he was trying not to yell but his voice was still as aggressive as ever.

“Y/N could you just chill out? It’s not that big of a deal! We can go out tomorrow night if you really want. Dongsoo invited a couple of the guys and their girlfriends over and we just had a few drinks at his place.”

You sat there dumbfounded trying to make sense of what he was saying. Dongsoo didn’t have a girlfriend and you knew that for sure. Serious relationships were not his type of thing when he could just sleep with whoever he wanted and wake up without an attachment in his bed the next morning. On the other hand, Chomin and Bongkyu both had girlfriends who tagged along with them everywhere.

“IF I really want to go? Jae, it’s our anniversary dinner. Of course I want to go, but what about you? Huh? You make it sound like spending time with me is a chore. And what about the other guys’ girlfriends? If they were able to bring their girlfriends along, why couldn’t you at least invite me?”

Jaekyong’s excuse for the night didn't really make sense to you. He used to invite you every time him and the guys would hang out with their girlfriends at Dongsoo’s. The typical night would consist of a few rounds of shots and then a drunken subway ride to the city to go clubbing. You would spend most of the night with Chaegi and Haneul, who were Chomin’s and Bongkyu’s girlfriends and whatever random girl Dongsoo decided to invite that night. It was always you 7 plus 1, so it struck you as odd that for the last 3 weeks when Jaekyong would go out with Dongsoo, he would never invite you.

Jaekyong softened his voice. He still sounded annoyed at your questions but there was a glint of something else in his voice and in his eyes which you knew all too well. It was probably the remnants of the alcohol that left him feeling needy.

“Seriously Y/N, I'm sorry. It was just a few drinks and I lost track of time. We can go out to that restaurant you love tomorrow night, ok?”

You stared back at him and before you could answer, Jaekyong closed the distance between you two and reached down to grab your ass pulling you into his body. He palmed your behind roughly through your jeans and pulled you in for a kiss. It wasn’t soft and enjoyable. It was aggressive and needy. You decided to let the argument go because this is not how you wanted to remember your 7 month anniversary. Though his excuse was weird, you decided to believe him for now. The strong smell of alcohol and lingering anger that you felt towards him made it hard for you to get into the kiss but his hold on your hips and ass was so tight you couldn’t back away. Against your better judgement, you let his lips win in the battle for dominance.

It had been awhile since you and Jaekyong were intimate so as much as you were still mad at him, the burning sensation you felt deep in your core was clouding your judgement. You ran your hand under his shirt to feel up and down his abs, settling your fingers right on the small patch of soft hair under his navel.

“I thought you were still mad at me” Jaekyong said snarkily and with a smirk.

“I am, but right now I need you. I miss this and I miss us.”

You were telling the truth. You were mad and you did need him. Nothing about the way you two were feeling up on each other was romantic. It was pure lust laced with anger, but this is how your relationship rolled. As much as you hated to admit it, there was definitely a pattern. Jaekyong and you would fight over something stupid he usually did then end up in bed together that same night. The next morning you were always filled with regret for never actually getting to the root of the problem and Taehyung would be there for you each time to help you pick up the pieces and dry your tears.

None of that was important in the moment though. You began to fumble with the button on Jaekyong’s jeans trying to let out his cock that you could feel pressing against your stomach through the tough fabric of his pants. He slapped your hands away and tapped the back of your thigh signaling you to jump up and put your legs around his waist. When you did, he walked through the dark halls of your apartment to your bedroom having the route memorized even when he could barely see, all the while,your lips were still attached to his.

When he reached your room, he threw you down on your bed and crawled over you. His eyes were filled with lust as they took in your shape from your toes and up your thighs to your waist. He quickly unbuttoned your jeans and in one swift movement had removed them and your panties. His movements were still rough and a part of you wished for him to be more sensual and caring. Afterall, it was supposed to be a special night. Jaekyong grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and brought his arms over his head revealing his chest and toned abs. You squeezed your legs together trying to get some relief, but he quickly grabbed your thighs and spread them apart. Without lowering his gaze from your eyes he positioned himself at your center and licked a stripe up your dripping pussy. Your back arched at the foreign sensation and instantly you wanted more, but Jaekyong was feeling impatient and wasn't in the romantic mood . Jaekyong sat up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Take off your shirt and bra baby. Let me see your body” he growled at you.

You shivered at his cold tone and his use of the pet name that you rarely heard anymore. As you removed your last bit of clothing so did he. He didn't notice as his cell phone fell out the back pocket of his jeans and on to the mattress behind him. You laid back down on your back and Jaekyong roughly grabbed your breasts and pinched your nipples between his fingers until they were hard.

 “You ready?” he asked and you nodded your head instantly, just wishing he would fill you up.

He sat back on his knees and spit into his palm. He pumped his cock a few times then aligned himself with your entrance, pushing into you all the way until he bottomed out. Without giving you a chance to adjust to his size, Jaekyong began to thrust into you quickly. You reached up and put your hand on his stomach to try to push him back and get him to slow down. He did so reluctantly, but just barely. He was pounding into you but your clit felt neglected so you reached down and started to rub yourself, making the knot in your stomach tighten. Jaekyong leaned over you and took your left nipple in his mouth while massaging your other breast with his hand. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead and you felt yourself getting closer to the edge. You reached up with one of your hands and grabbed his hair tightly trying to pull him up to your lips for a kiss. Jaekyong resisted and without warning, pulled out of you causing you to whimper at the loss of contact. He grabbed your hips and flipped you over onto your hands and knees.

 This was the least intimate you had ever felt while having sex with Jaekyong and deep inside your chest it hurt. You snapped out of your reverie when you felt his cock plunging back into you. Jaekyong’s cock twitched inside of you causing your pussy to clench around his length. A low groan escaped his lips and you could tell that he was about to come when his thrusts turned sloppy and uncontrolled. Still trying to reach your high, you reached down to vigorously rub your clit with your fingers. Your whole body felt like it was on fire as you felt the unfamiliar feeling of release creeping back up on you.

“Ahhh fuck, I’m gonna come” Jaekyong growled.

 He gave you a few more sloppy thrusts and pulled out releasing his cum all over your back and ass, stilling for a few seconds. With a loud sigh, Jaekyong rolled onto his back, his chest heaving as he tried to steady his uneven breath.

“I didn’t come” you pouted expecting him to help you finish.

“Shit Y/N, I'm so tired babe, sorry.”

You felt your heart sink at his selfish words. You felt so used and stupid for giving in and thinking that you two could share a special moment when Jaekyong was such a selfish asshole.

“You’re horrible, Jaekyong. I really hope you know that. At least help clean me off” you said.

Jaekyong chuckled, brushing off your comment, but never really answering you.

“Fine! You really are unbelievable.”

You got off of your bed and walked towards your bathroom. You locked the door behind you and looked at yourself in the mirror with a huff. Right then and there you decided that you two needed to have a serious conversation if you were going to try to make this work. It was too hard for you to be the only one giving your all in this relationship. The steaming hot shower helped to relax you and wash away the disappointment that you were feeling at your boyfriend. You felt a new resolve taking over you and you felt confident that you would be able to share your concerns with Jaekyong. You weren't sure how receptive he would be, but you knew this was something that you had to do.

By the time you got out of the shower, it felt like you spent hours in the bathroom. You wrapped your towel around your body and opened the door to your bedroom.

“Shit, he fell asleep” you mumbled under your breath when you noticed him curled up on his side with his back facing away from you

.Disappointed that you couldn’t talk to Jaekyong right now after you just mustered up the courage, you decided that it would wait until the morning. You put on some shorts and a loose t-shirt and sauntered over to your side of the bed. That’s when you noticed his cell phone laying there. You picked it up with the intention of putting it on the charger for him, but you froze when his phone vibrated and lit up with a text from someone named Hyeji.