Today a colleague asked me if i was okay and i said yeah i just have had a bad time sleeping lately, and i didn't explain about how the bf was sick and so he slept badly and because I'm a super light sleeper i would stay awake also.
Then we had a meeting, and my co-lead mentioned what i was dealing with these days, and the aforementioned colleague went "Ah. I think i know where those bad nights are coming from."
And until she said it i hadn't even realized this was probably why i was sleeping so badly lately? Like, the whole sick-bf thing can't help, but i kept thinking that it made no sense, me not falling asleep even when he wasn't making any noise.
Later today my other co-lead talked about how she was this close to not showing up to work tomorrow and i was like, yes, good, you should stay home, i haven't dealt with a quarter of the stuff you've been dealing with for the past few weeks and already i feel like i need to go awol.
Christmas time is always brutal but every year it feels like it's getting even worse. I haven't done my actual current job in weeks. I'm supposed to focus on the big plot, but when we did the christmas planning we realized things would only work if writers did not have to come up with the plot for their own episodes, so we said i would take care of them. Except then my co-lead got sick, so i had to give feedback on dialogues instead of her for two weeks, which means i had no time to work on the individual plots, and obviously i had even less time to think about the bigger plot. And then a writer left on holiday before he could manage to finish his episode, so i had to step in and finish it for him, which takes days. So I'm like, three layers below what I'm really supposed to be working on, and everything is getting late, and nobody can help, and I'm still supposed to waste two days a week on the other project, and -
How do I get off from this train? How does this all stop? I'm supposed to only oversee this project, and somehow I'm right back in the thick of it without any end in sight.
Add to that the stress about our main producer auditing us next monday and it's no wonder i can't sleep at night anymore.
