Shane is meticulous with his skin care, his job is sweaty and bacterial acne is his biggest foe. Through years of careful research and testing he has the perfect skin care routine. Those 15 minutes before bed are his sacred alone time.
Ilya doesnât mind Shaneâs skin care time, itâs his 15 minutes to scroll with the sound on high.
He doesnât mind that is until Shane randomly asks him if he can take pictures of his back. At first excited to pose Ilya wholeheartedly agrees. Itâs until he is told to lay face down and Shane takes what feels like a hundred pictures that he gets suspicious.
âWhat are you doingâ Ilya asks muffled by the comforter
âDocumenting your moles to make sure nothing changes while youâre in Bostonâ Shane replies âYou made me loose count, give me a second donât moveâ
Ilya groans into the mattress, not sexy, not fun. So boring, and Ilya is so happy. Someone loves him enough to worry, his boyfriend loves him and is worried about him.
ââ
After the Dunkin disaster as Shane has started calling it, Ilya isnât expecting any more care packages. Shane hasnât been thrilled with how Ilya has managed to turn all his gifts into somethingâŠelse. So he was pleased to receive a big box in the mail marked fragile.
Ilya took the box into the kitchen to unbox, he looked inside and started pulling out all sorts of bottles with little labels in Shaneâs messy scrawl step 1, step 2 and so on. There was also a laminated page on how and when to use each product.
Ilya reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, taking a picture of the contents and sending it to Shane.
Ilya: what is this?
Shane: Skincare.
Ilya: yes I know, is for you? To keep here?
Shane: No. Itâs for you.
Shane: To take care of your skin.
Shane: Send me a picture of your back.
Ilya: no.
Ilya: you just want it for moles
Ilya: pervert
Shane
Incoming face time call
â-
Ilya decides to record himself using them because he knows Shane likes his little videos.
He knows Shane likes them because he keeps asking for more. Send me video with shower shoes on, send video eating salad, send video saying goodnightâŠ
Video:
(Phone is set on a bathroom counter, Ilya leans in close, folding his arms on the counter)
âOkey we are trying skincare for first timeâ
(Exists frame)
âWhere is boxâ can be heard from a distance.
(Comes back into frame)
âOkey I have box let us being, first up isâŠ.â
He looks like he is reading from something.
âStart with the Celimax jojoba-oil cleanser with the Beauty by Earth gua shaâ he looks around with a confused look âWhat?!â Starts rummaging through the box when he goes back to the paper.
âBottle is marked #1 use with green toolâ he whisper reads âAh okey I found it!â
Holds up the gua sha to the camera and the bottle marked #1.
âNow how do you use gua shaâ he holds up one finger.
âPlease holdâ he comes back carrying a laptop âOkey I watched tutorialâ
â-
âSo that took foreverâ he gives an exasperated look to the camera.
âStep 2 says to use Skin1004 Poremizing deep-cleansing foam to double cleanse. Use in the showerâ he reads from the laminated sheet.
(He leaves the frame)
âIâm not showing shower, pervertâhe yells.
(He comes back into frame)
âYou have to pay for that, only fans when?â He winks at the camera.
ââ
(He comes back into frame)
Wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, wet hair slicked back, skin looking noticeably brighter. He is holding the sheet âStep three says After shower, use the Num-buz-in No. 3 toner. Do not apply with hands use cotton roundsâ he reads rolls his eyes â I wasnât going to use handsâ he blows a raspberry to the camera.
âNotice how all skin care have names that are impossible to read and make no sense to what they are?â He says as he applies the toner to the cotton round and starts applying to his face âIt is conspiracy to sell very expensive smelly waterâ he finishes applying âThat donât do anything to skinâ he gives a disparaging look to the camera.
He holds up a bottle marked four âI read ahead this is moisturizer with crazy name, Alexa what is Centella am-pou-le?!â An Alexa answers in the background â Iâm sorry I didnât quite get thatâ he rolls his eyes at camera âUgh, uselessâhe says as he applies the moisturizer.
(leaning in close to the camera, his whole face in frame)
âWe are almost done, you have made it this far. You are still watching and for what? Is it interesting or exciting to watch me rub liquids and goops on my face?â He pull back from the frame and winks âof course it is pervertâ
Ilya holds up the last bottle showing it to the camera âSunscreen! This is Skin1004 SPF 50, because some people believe the sun is out to kill me via mole attackâ he applies the sunscreen to his face âmoles are angel kisses, I am kissed all overâ he slaps his cheeks.
(phone is lifted of the counter and brought up to eye level)
âOkey that is all, night time routine is two steps and not importantâ
(the camera moves all over his face showing different angles)
âSkin does look extra glowy, do not send lotion in a basket please I do not want to be skinnedâ
(the video ends)
â-
Much to Ilyas frustration his video was 20 minutes long and would not send in a text or in an email.
Which is why he was now making a YouTube account to upload the video. After what felt like hours ilya_rozanov81 had uploaded their first video caption âGet Ready With Me Skin Careâ. His video was just for Shane but it was normal enough he felt that he could post it without it giving anything away. He had never said Shaneâs name and he had seen other people do these sort of videos so felt ok posting it.
He sent the link to Shane and went about his day, there was an optional practice that afternoon that he had considered skipping but was in the mood to let off some energy.
ââ
Shane: I saw your video.
Shane: cute đ„°
Shane: take it down now.
Shane: hello??
Shane: Ilya! Seriously take it down now people are starting to comment.
Shane: Ilya!!
Shane: Itâs breached containmentâŠ.
Shane: whatever call me when you get out of practice I guess đ€
Ilya
Incoming Call
ââ
Puckygolucky: only fans when????? Yes please! Drop the link!!
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Bostonraiderette: this is unhinged in the best way!
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StuckyPucky: Whatâs wrong with you genuinely asking.
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Ilyaswife: Not me grinning for 20 minutes straight
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Marleauskates:Add everything to cart
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Cerave:I love him so much âI do not want to be skinnedâ cancels PR box filled with lotion.
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BostonRaidersNHL:Great way to start the video, I am sat for *looks at notes* 20 minutes.
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DunkinDonuts:Hey beautiful angel can I kiss you all overđđ
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IlyasMole:Who was this for?? Is he calling us perverts?
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Rozanovsleftbuttcheek:Iâll be his pervert all he wants đđđ
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Moonbeams_delight: Do you enjoy seeing me rub liquids over my face!!! Does this man want me dead??!??đ”
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Makeupbyalisa:Was this PR?? All the brands are different and you canât even buy them in the same store.
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Puckygolucky: How do you know you canât buy them in the same store?
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Makeupbyalisa: Uhhh cause I check obviously.
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Cosmopolitan: Drop the towel.. wait who said that?
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numbuzin_global: So honored you know us
Sending you the entire No.3 line... okay, actually EVERYTHING đđ
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Skinn1004offixial: It's so exciting to see SKIN1004 in Ilya's routine! The Centella Ampoule soothes and hydrates the skin. We've sent you EVERYTHING, so let us know when you spot more in there
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Svetlana_V: Get off my internet
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Hollanov4life: heâs reading from a laminated sheet. A lot of these are Asian skin care brands⊠Iâm starting a rumor.
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Bostonraiderette: Girl no..go back to tumblr with that.
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Can see all four chapters on AO3 link in the comments!
