#onlineprincess

you are so pretty i will love u for the rest of my existence

When my kids ask me about my first true love I want to be able to look at you from across the table and smile. I want to tell them about all the adventures we took and all the miles we survived. I want to tell them about all the experiences we had and how lucky I was to find my forever at just 18. But if it’s not you across from me when my kids ask about my first true love, I will still talk about you. I will still tell my daughter how you and I were a lot of bad timing and that although it didn’t last forever you and I had the greatest love story to ever exist. I will tell my son that if we had our forever his name would have been Alexander not Dallas and I will tell them how we tried to brave many miles and when my daughter asks why it’s not you sitting across the dinner table I will tell her that sometimes all the love in the world isn’t enough to make someone stay and that’s okay. If you’re not the one sitting across from me at dinner it’s okay, we still had the greatest love story to ever exist.

do you talk to your mother about me? i’m not saying you should i’m just saying if you did that’d be nice like 
 maybe stop this ache nice like maybe stop this pain nice like i swear to god i won’t turn you into poetry i won’t put you on a pedestal, i’ll never do that again because i think part of me is still bleeding out gold from that mistake. 
i think part of me is still afraid from that mistake. so, sorry about most things and how i’m always scared you’re trying to leave it’s just like 
 most people keep trying to leave so 
 i guess i got used to an empty house and 
 no one else to talk to.

2015, summer.