Celestial
I’m getting to a better place I feel. Taking control of what is real and what is not. I am doing what is right instead of what I think is right. I feel like it is my fall back to reality and as much as it is something that I have struggled with it’s something that I need to be more aquainted with what is real. I see things for what they really are and deal with it in the way that it needs to be so I can stay focused on the things that are actually important to not only myself but the people around me and make sure that I am creating a better future for myself. I can’t run away or escape that. I’m so used to running away that it has become second nature and only stressed me out more and encouraging the bad behavior that I have come to live by.
The thing is as I face this new complication even though it is temporary that it needs to be dealt with none the less. It has become more transparent and I know that it is my only fate if I want to make something of myself. It’s also giving me a better perspective of current issues with my friendship with others that have become strained to my actions. I’m working, pushing , fighting for myself this battle is something that I needed to do for so long that this fight has turned in to an epic battle that I have been winning so far. The thing is it has only just begun. As this journey takes shape, I am also shaping myself with more insight. I will keep moving forward no matter what fighing and clinging to the things that make me who I am. The thing is I know that if I never felt the pain and suffer that I went through for the last two years it wouldn’t have given me such a sense of clarity. To not know that pain the feeling of losing myself would not have given me the drive that I know I needed to experience. I know though at the same time that I cannot dwell on the past and the hurt and the pain for too long or I will be sucked back in to something that will only pull me back in to the person that I one didn’t recognize and I will not let that happen at all because I know that I have grwn and I will keep growing. I want to be even better than I l know I can be. With that said I’m going to live my life to the fullest and keep you filled in on the next step and story of my journeyÂ
