#onestar

Which brings me back to Crowfeather and Onestar. I love the idea of them being mirrors to each other in how they handle their biggest vice: their pride.

Crowfeather and Onestar are both pathetic, immature men who cannot admit their own shortcomings. Crowfeather cannot be emotionally open because he fears being seen as disloyal. Onestar cannot be emotionally open because he fears being seen as weak. They bury and bury their emotions until it seeps out the sides and becomes everyone else’s problem. 

Where the two differ, and what my ideal super editions for them would be, is that while Crowfeather realizes the cycle he is in, and chooses to face his feelings, Onestar does not. And in that ideal “Onestar’s Confession”, he ends the series full of regret he refuses to face, having lost everything, unable to admit that he was the problem. With his dying breaths, Onestar confesses his true feelings, long after it’s too late to change anything.

And it contrasts Crowfeather, who is only able to admit he was the problem after he lost everything. His kits' respect, his wife divorces him, his mom is ashamed of him, and he keeps spiraling further and further to get to the point he realizes his emotional constipation is why he has lost everything. He has to earn his dignity back, and he isn’t likely to be forgiven. 

And this goes back to breaking the cycle. Both Crowfeather and Onestar realize they are abetting the abuse of others. But while Crowfeather can eventually take accountability, Onestar cannot accept he is the cause for his own misery, having to find someone else to blame. 

I run across the clover fields shrieking like a madman as I rend my white victorian shirt in pure emotion at the doomed accountability straight man yaoi