#onehellofavacation

Chloe wasn’t entirely sure why Lucifer left.  The main reason he said was to keep her and Charlie save. To keep Earth safe. That the demons needed a king. or they wouldn’t stop. That they won for the time being. It was months since he left. Too many had gone by. And she missed him. Her heart ached. “Mommy do you miss Lucifer?” Trixie asked. “Yes honey I do.” She was helping her child with her homework. “Go visit him then. “ she said. Chloe tried that. “I tried. I can’t go where he’s at.” She wasn’t sure she could tell her daughter who Lucifer really was and why she couldn’t go to Hell. She attempted multiple times. God intervened. Maze intervened. Amendiel intervened. Every celestial being said she couldn’t go there without it making things worse. That she was a good soul intended for Heaven. Trixie then smiled. “So if you can’t get to him. Bring him back to you.” she said. Chloe wasn’t sure how to do that. “You said he had a problem he had to solve back home. So solve it for him and see if he returns.” Chloe thought that was brilliant. She kissed her daughter good night. “Thank you trix.” She walked out the door. Knocked on the one celestial being she hadn’t talked to yet door, Hael Morningstar. The strawberry blonde angel answered the door. “Hi can the angel of Kindness rule Hell?” she asked.  Hael blinked. Chloe had woken her up. “Technically I guess so why?” Chloe grinned. “Would you be willing to temporarily rule So I can bring Lucifer back?” Hael shook her head. “Oh no. that’s never a temporary job. Lucifer was stuck with it for years.”  Chloe smiled. “Please? I promise I’ll find someone celestial to take over for good.” Hael sighed. “Alright. I’ll see if I can be Queen for a little bit.” She spread her wings. And flew downward. “Lucifer your girlfriend has a crazy plan...” she told him once she was above his throne.

“That’s very specific, Mr. Morningstar.” Bruce replied, quickly placing the object back where he found it.

“I’m - fine. Just I swear I’ve seen you before,” she told him, eyebrows furrowing together. Her head tilted to the side as she tried to remember where she might have seen him before, but she was drawing a blank. 

The wolf grinned, “I, unfortunately, do not have forever and I do prefer Uno to Monopoly as it holds a higher value of fucking over friendships.”

The blonde grins some, looking to the man. “Well, if you living with who I do, you’d have some too.” She stays close to Lucifer as if something horrible would happen the second they were apart, or at least she wasn’t near him. “Why not go investigate?” Morgan whispers to him, looking around the area with caution.

Sabrina Spellman was born 16 years ago to Edward and Diana Spellman. Or so she thought. Turns out Lucifer did her parents a favor. The whole hoopla and ritual of the Church of Night never seemed to make much sense to Sabrina. You sign this book then Lucifer owns your soul. And he gives you witch powers and you have to do things for him. Sabrina learned from her recent boyfriend Nick Scratch it was all a joke. A lie.  That Lucifer didn’t make people do things. you didn’t sell your soul to him. And he only made the witches sign the book of the beast as a joke. His little guest book for newly turned 16 year olds. She also learned recently that her parents couldn’t have kids. And that Lucifer helped them conceive.  She thought maybe there was some weird blood ritual. Or some satanic thing. But no all Lucifer Morningstar did was give a vial of his sperm. And a doctor inseminated Diana. The usual human way. It’s very weird that devil is literally my mom’s sperm donor. She was sitting with her Aunt Hilda and Zelda. “So is he not allowed to see me. Is it like supposed to be private. How do sperm donation work?”  Aunt Hilda spoke first.  “You’re asking of Lucifer has any rights to you as a parent?” she asked. Sabrina nodded. “Yeah. Just curious.”  Zelda explained. “Technically yes he does. The usual laws of sperm donation don’t apply. Diana was inseminated at his apartment in Los Angeles.”  Sabrina blinked. “So I’m half witch. Half mortal and half angel?” she said. Her aunts nodded. “Yes that’s correct.”  Sabrina wanted to meet Lucifer. He was the only living parent she had left. “I want to go to LA and see him.”  Her aunts knew this would happen. “Okay. Go ahead.”  So Sabrina packed her things. Got on a plane. And by the time she landed in LA. She found herself getting an Uber to Lux. She was told to go upstairs by a demon named Maze. And that she’d find him there. She knocked on his door. Trying to figure out what she’d say. 

Hael had finally moved into her own place. Or well the place Lucifer gave her. And accepted the money he gave her as well to live off of. She was now much farther along. And the pregnancy did last as long as a humans. So all her weird questions about it didn’t matter anymore. But now her dad showed up. Of all the beings in the world, God had to appear. He apparently has been taking vacations to earth himself. Writing books. That eventually became a television show called Supernatural also the series title. “So are you carver Edlund or  Chuck Shurely?” she asked when she opened the door. Chuck shrugged. “I go by Chuck on earth. Keeps me from being stopped by every single Christian on the street after Church.”  Hael smiled. “I bet Lucifer had a field day when he found out you were a really bad writer with a cult following.”  she said. He laughed. “Oh he found out last week I am told.” He looked at her seriously. “You are going to have that baby soon.” He said it matter of fact. God knew all. “Okay so what. you’re going to deliver it?” she teased. “no. your big brother Lucifer is.” God said. Hael blinked. “What? I mean I know I told the doctor I wanted to have the kid at home, but what makes you think he wants to do that. See all of that. Babies aren’t his thing.”  God smiled. “He’ll do it. Let’s go to his place.”  Hael blinked. Apparently she was having the kid tonight. “Tonight? I am having the kid tonight?” she asked. Her father nodded. “Yes. you’re having the kids tonight. I gave you twins.” he said smiling. Before Hael could react with shock she was being lead by her father to a car. And before she knew it they were at Lucifer’s place waiting for him to answer.