#on camera!

The boogeyman, lurking and smiling, his dark hands stretch from the dark dark shadows of their rooms.

Ghosts and ghouls, monsters and creeps.

The monster in the closet, peeking and creaking.

The monster under the bed, scratch scratch scratching, any weary feet, snatch snatch snatching.

Hide under the sheets, hide under the covers, out of the monsters' reach, so the children think.

Their shield against what lurks and crawls and creeps.

Safety, safety, or so it seems.

So wary, of the dark dark night.

So scary, what lurks and crawls and creeps.

The illusion of safety, in their sweet warm beds.

A poor little boy, oh how scared he is of the dark dark night.

What lurks in the corners, what waits in the hall.

Oh so late, he watches and waits.

For what watches him back, with a shiver and shake.

Those bad bad eyes, that bad bad face.

Oh the boy, he huddles and hides.

But he thinks he's clever, y'see, he's found the trick.

Hide under the sheets, hide under the covers, childhood wisdom keeps him out of the monsters' reach.

Under the blanket, cuddling his friend, oh he feels safe.

Despite the darkness, what lurks and crawls and creeps.

The poor boy, in his cleverness, he knows better.

But he has the illusion of safety, with his sweet friend in his warm bed.

Till he feels the tap tap tap, the scratch scratch scratch.

The creeping claws from the dark dark space, across that sweet warm bed, across poor little skin.

Those bad bad eyes, that bad bad face.

He may forget, in his poor poor heart, why children are so scared of what goes bump in the night.

And in his cleverness, he ends up good as dead.

There's nothing that can keep him safe.

From the monster under the bed.

most of the time, you had to dress practically. whenever your group came across an untouched clothing store or cache of quality clothing, the priority was typically finding seasonally appropriate clothing and weather gear, fresh undergarments, new shoes, socks, etcetera. you rarely had the opportunity to put together a real outfit. it was all layering and just taking whatever you could carry. practicality had you collecting cargoes in every color.

rick enjoyed your style; you made an effort to look put together when you could and post-apocalypse, all it took was you finding a pair of jeans that actually fit to propel him from checking you out to tearing them off and bending you over the nearest surface.

daryl thought you were a mall rat. he takes the opportunity to make fun of you and your fashion sense while you’re out on a run.

“this is an abandoned kohl’s, not mooningdale’a or wherever the bitch from ‘friends’ worked.”

you giggle at him. “you mean bloomingdale’s?”

“whatever.”

the two of you are scavenging the former shopping center in search of any edible food, water, tools, anything for judith, just anything that could come in handy. winter coats and appropriate weather gear were pretty large priorities as well.

you thumb through racks of clothing, estimating if it suit fit the person from the group who you were mentally fitting. from flannels for carl, onesies for judith, and boxers for rick, you’re tossing your finds over your arm like an associate was about to come up and offer you a basket.

the pile you’ve accumulated is ditched on an ottoman in the shoe department when a pair of boots catches your eye.

“fuck,” you whisper low enough for daryl not to hear. the brown leather boots have you salivating at the mouth. god, you have nowhere to wear those but if you did…

you’re forced to pick your jaw up off the floor when daryl comes around.

“find anything worth bringin’ back?” his arms are full with everything from tool kits to batteries.

you shake your head. “nope, not much. i’m gonna grab a cart though,” you mention, gesturing to the haul in his arms.

“just don’t get a squeaky one in case there are any walkers lyin’ round.”

“of course!” you chirp, hand wrapping around the metal handlebar as you pry it from a line of other shopping carts.

daryl dumps his finds in and while his back is turned, you toss in the pair of boots. a layer of two of tissue paper on top seems like a good enough disguise.

then the two of you are back to walking the sales floor. you can’t help but watch daryl as he walks in front of you. your breath hitches when you notice how tightly that shirt clings to him - to his rather large arms specifically. you’re so engrossed in how he pushes the cart that you almost miss the gadget out of the corner of your eye.

suddenly you’re doing a double take and walking yourself back to the electronics section.

“you makin’ a documentary or somethin’?”

you turn over the camcorder in your hands. “maybe.” you smile at your traveling companion. “you can take me on one of your hunts and i can get some footage.”

“spook all the deer while you’re at it.”

laughing at him, you flip the screen fully open and put the recording device up to your eye. “maybe i’ll make a survival documentary. video diary or something.”

daryl is walking up to you and flipping the camera shut as soon as he notices the viewfinder trained on his groin.

“what?” you cry, immediately putting on a fake pout. “you don’t wanna make a porn with me?”

“baby, this is a kohl’s.”

you shrug. “what’s it matter? i’m sure people made porn in kohl’s before. wanna go to the dressing room?”

“i don’t think we have time for all that-,”

“ah, i think we do.”

despite his protests, you tug him away from the electronics section - camcorder in your back pocket - and make a beeline for the dressing room.

rick and daryl didn’t like you leaving alexandria without them.

most of the time they made you write them a list as opposed to letting you window shop in the wasteland yourself. so something so mundane as using a dressing room is kind of exciting to you.

the man with a hand in yours rolls the cart up to the dressing room attendant’s desk.

daryl frowns when he notices the boots under the tissue paper. “baby, the fuck’ are these?” he holds up the most gorgeous pair of boots you’ve ever seen.

your lip quivers. “the best pair of shoes i’ve seen since atlanta.”

“how the fuck are you gonna run from walkers in these?”

“uh, i won’t.” you spit.

“you mouthin’ off?”

“never.” you promise with a chuckle.

daryl just shakes his head. “put ‘em back.”

“i think i’ll keep them.”

“really?” he pushes the cart aside to stand in front of you, close enough so that you can feel his body heat radiating towards you.

you offer a playful smile. “i think you just need to see me in them first. then you’ll be convinced.”

with that, the two of you are darting into a dim dressing room - boots in hand.

it doesn’t take long for you to hear the fitting room door swinging open, announcing that rick has found you two.

“we were just discussin’ the merit of her wearing underwear.”

you’re glad the three of you are confined to the handicap dressing room. you wouldn’t want anyone to see your blush when rick gets a cocky grin on his face.

he takes in the sight of you with your jeans pushed down and his best friend next to you, another finger toying at your underwear.

“well, you know my answer.”

you don’t need to ask the constable; he’d make it law for you to go commando at all times if he could.

“yeah, i don’t think you need ‘em.” the younger man agrees.

“why is me wearing underwear such a debate?” you question with a wistful smile. “you two spend awfully more time talking about it than it off.”

“why don’t you show him your boots first?”

you lift an eyebrow, and a leg and do a little kick, still mindful of the intimate dressing room. the light falls on the posh leather boots in such a fashion that you’re forgetting you snatched them off of a shelf at kohl’s.

rick whistles. “you look great in them, darlin’. i’m curious where you think you’ll be wearin’ then though.”

shrugging, you settle back down onto the seat and begin freeing yourself from the leather brown boots. “not sure. they’re pretty to look at though.

“that they are.” rick agrees.

“why don’t you keep ‘em on?”

you raise an eyebrow. “i thought they were,” you make air quotations with your fingers, “shit boots.”

rick sniggers. “so mean to her, dare.’”

you nod, zipping a boot back up. “really.”

“i think you should apologize to the pretty lady. tell her you like her boots.”

you teeter a boot a foot above the ground invitingly. daryl falls to his feet in front of you with a frown that you know is a front. as soon as he’s faced with your inner thighs, his hands are laid out on top of them, and he’s iterating beneath you,”

“i’m sorry ‘bout your boots, baby.” he states, eager fingers inching closer to your waistband again. “i think you look fuckin’ fantastic in ‘em. but where are you gonna wear em’?”

you have an answer but as he peels back your panties and leans in to face a mere few inches from your dripping core, your response is stuck in your throat. it takes a sharp inhale to regain your thoughts when his finger and tongue begin tempting you at the same time. rick leans against the wooden paneled wall, crossing his arms at you.

“you know they’re gonna be hard to match with all your other clothes. not that you don’t have enough.” rick sighs, running a hand through his hair like he’s thinking about storage and reveling in spectating daryl touch and tease you. “you already filled up the closet last time you came out with us. you’re gonna have to call rosita over to take some of it off your hands.”

you roll your eyes. they’re telling you that you need to get rid of clothing like every other month. when it comes time for them to make you bag up anything you’re willing to part with, you typically found some way to end up on your knees or with them bending you over something. that usually gives you another month.

“i thought daryl was saying sorry.” you grumble, smooth legs kicking playfully in protest until daryl has them pinned against the seat, his tongue licking furious stripes from the top of your clit down to your aching little hole.

“baby, you’re so wet.” daryl comments, lips smacking with your slick.

“as always.” rick jeers, walking over to sit next to you. “hey, doll,” he greets into your mouth.

needy and bucking into daryl’s soft mouth, you return the kiss with a fervor that rick’s not expecting. he groans at the bruising brush of your pillowy smooth lips against his.

you’re reaching your hand to the side to grasp at him when you instead find your camcorder. remembering your original plan, you pull it forward onto rick’s lap.

he only chuckles into your mouth when you open the video camera and aim the lens on the man going to town between your legs.

“you forgive me, baby?” daryl inquires with the addition of a finger.

you nod up and down. “fuck, i forgive you, dare’. you’re so good with your mouth.”

rick’s smile turns upside down when he notices how shaky your hand is getting as daryl brings you closer to your first p.m. orgasm. he brings a steady hand up to relieve you of your cameraman duties.

the opportunity presents itself to fall back into rick so you take it. his chest is pressed snugly against your backside now as he angles the camcorder to catch the downright debaucherous scene occurring in this kohl’s dressing room.

your legs are quivering and you’re chanting daryl’s name when he removes his fingers and goes all in on your pussy.

rick clasps a hand on your mouth. “shh, honey. don’t want the others to think somethin’s wrong.”

“mhmmm,” you shudder against his hand.

the pleasure daryl’s been doling out to you comes in the form of a mind numbing orgasm that washes over your tensed form from head to toe. daryl doesn’t slow down either as you cost his face in your sweet slick. he’s licking patterns into you and you swear he’s trying to paint the alphabet across your cunt as you ride out the delicious pressure your boyfriend is treating you to.

“how are you gonna walk back to the car?” rick asks you, pulling your face gently towards his to cup your chin and engross you in another kiss. he only separates from you to pass the camcorder off to daryl and lift your thighs.

“might have to carry you.” daryl muses and begins undoing his belt.

“rick, you’re gonna fuck me, right?” you crane your neck to lock eyes with the man entering you right then and there.

“fuck, give me a moment, darlin’.” rick shakes his head as you grind against him, unable to think straight.

you’re catching your breath when you look up and notice the blue eyed man behind the somehow closed camcorder. bless him.

“i think you have the cover on,” you giggle and stretch using your tippy toes to flip it back for him.

once the red light is on your face, rick yanking your tank top off and attacking your bare chest with open mouthed kisses. the nipple he pops into his mouth pebbles even more at his touch. his mouth coupled with the all encompassing stretch you’re enduring is drawing every moan you can muster.

he cements a grip on your hips to raise you up and down on his cock in his lap. the plushnsss of your ass is making him feral as he’s met with that same pillowy softness upon every meeting with his pelvis.

daryl keeps the camera on you, rick, and the mess you’re creating in your laps. he shuffles to stand next to the seat and offers you his now nude cock which you happily take into your mouth, earning him a better angle in the process.

the camcorder captures you oohing and aahing around daryl as rick fucks the past few hours of tension out of you. nothing like justifying fucking your brains out in a dressing room on stress and performance.

the girthy man in your mouth is thinking the same thing. daryl hisses when he hits the back of your throat and you gag. he’s fucking your throat even faster once he catches sight of his dick disappearing in and out of your pretty pink lips on the screen.

like a seesaw, you rock up and down on rick. the way rick is thrusting upwards into you has you moaning pornographicly around his best friend’s length. it’s only so long before you have to give in. you’re rolling your hips frantically and making the most debauched noises around daryl.

that’s all it takes for the archer to twitch in your throat. you’re prepared to swallow but before you know it, he’s backing his cock out of your mouth and holding it directly in your face, pumping with one hand and recording in the other.

“watch out, rick,” he warns.

and just like that his cock is in front of you, spurting and coating your face.

He'd hardly expected him to actually follow through, but here he was. Even after.. everything, and the bit of force behind Lus's smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, he still tried to be nice. This was still his friend. Still his guest.

Axel was in a great mood. He got to see his good friend Lus for the first time in what felt like ages. Though he wasn't entirely blind, there was clearly something wrong. But with what he held in his hands, he was too excited to finally hand it over. "I wish I could have gotten this to you sooner!" Axel dusted off the lid of the picnic basket, a spring in his step as he turned to Lus, "Mom took a bit finding something small enough for a shelf. She knows way more about finding things like this than I do." Placing the basket on the table, Axel would tap his fingers along the handle before stepping back. The only thought repeating in his mind being one of worry. Doing his best to ignore it, Axel would smile at Lus. "Come on! Check it out."

Taking a breath, Lus pushed off the wall with his foot and went over to the table, keeping his arms crossed. "Well it doesn't smell like shit in a box." He tried to inject some humour into it, a little smirk on his face.

Maybe against his better judgement, he was actually kind of excited.

"Oh, no it totally is, my mother is practically an expert at finding fossilized bug shit. You're welcome." Axel snickered, covering his mouth with his hand to hide his grin.

Snorting, Lus rolled his eyes, putting on mock gratefulness. "Oh wow, what I always wanted, how considerate. An insect turd made of rock to call my very own."

Actually moving to open the basket, he moved aside the foam to see what ancient bug shit awaited him.

A glass case resided just beneath the foam, containing a small taxidermy Skorupi. Posed in a slight curve, the Skorupi was posed with its head slightly tilted to the side. One of the stingers on its head seemed to be bigger than the other, leading to a slightly lopsided look; while its segmented clawed tail was posed straight up.

He gently lifted up the case and turned it around to get a better look at it, looking at the beady eyes and the careful posing. It was.. honestly kind of incredible. A little smile crept onto his face. "He's cute."

Fiddling with his fingers as he watched Lus's reaction carefully, Axel let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. "You like it?" Axel asked, before shaking his head at his silly question. "He is, isn't he? I wanted to make sure it would be special."

"Yeah, I do." Huffing in amusement, Lus kept inspecting it from every angle. It was pretty cool. He gestured at the asymmetrical stingers, "He's definitely a bit special with that, ain't he?"

He didn't have alot of bug types, though he had a bit of a collection of bones and other bits. It would fit in nice.

Axel almost seemed to melt in relief, picking at his fingernail, "He is. I thought it was neat, and uh- I remember you talking about wanting something small enough to fit on your shelf that wasn't just more bones."

"It works, needed some diversity in there." Lus laughed a bit, and ran a hand over the glass before setting it back on the table.

"Soooo…" Axel hid his hands behind his back, bouncing on his heels slightly, "Did you get me something? A bag of tacks to step on? An Explosive of some kind?"

That made Lus pause, lingering in taking his hands off the case.

His arms dropped to his sides before rubbing his wrist with the gloved hand. Shit.

How could he- Shit.

He ended up fumbling for an excuse. "Uh- I uh- .. Well, it was.. ." His eyes averted to the floor. "Well, y'know, it was a gag gift I wasn't actually gonna- it was-"

"Oh…" Axel paused.

A joke. It was just a joke, then. Hiding his disappointment wasn't exactly on his mind as he just looked to his feet. He would have at least liked to have known the proposed gifts had just been a joke, and not a serious offer.

But it was fine. He had to be fine.

Shit- shit- Lus kept trying to recover it. "Uh- It's, uh, the holidays were a busy time, y'know? It was- it was hectic- and-"

Seeing that disappointed look shot a pang of guilt through him. "Silas got the gifts anyway and I wasn't gonna- do you have any idea how embarrassin' that woulda been? I couldn't make him-"

Fuck what was he doing.

"No… I get it, I do." Scratching at his shoulder, Axel avoided looking at Lus, "It's really fine and all. Uh…"

Axel tried to force a smile as he looked back at Lus, "It uh, must've been a rough couple of months in your life. It's… It's fine dude."

It looked so fake. Lus could tell. And all that disappointment at not getting something from him. Shit he felt bad but—

Entitled, spoiled, look at him, has the gaul to act disappointed.

—Bitterness rose in his throat like bile.

And he spoke before he thought it through.

"…I would've thought you had enough anyway."

Axel tilted his head to the side. His nose crunched as he tried to understand.

"What the cel does that mean, Lus?" Axel asked as he crossed his arms, tapping on his arm.

Axel had noticed the feeling in the air, but it wasn't directed at him was it? Lus was going through a lot, he knew that. But that sounded more personal than Axel would have expected if it was just that.

For a moment, Lus hesitated. There was a choice. he recognized that. He had two options here. There was still time to fix it. But he deserved it.

He made his choice. It was petty, arc it was petty. But in that moment, he didn't care. He just shrugged and rolled his eyes. "'Course you wouldn't notice. Forget I said anything." And turned away.

"What's your damage?" Axel called out, balling his hands into fists.

What the fuck was wrong with him? All because Axel was just a bit disappointed in being lead on about something so trivial? Maybe there had been a few lines here and there directed at Axel that he had noticed, but it was no reason to act like an ass.

Turning back to him, Lus gave a bit of a scowl. "I said forget it."

"No! What in the name of gratitude is up with you? I'm not just going to forget what you said." Axel crossed his arms as he bent toward Lus for emphasis.

Lus just snapped back, "Are you really that dense?" Spoiled, spoiled, little brat. "Did the movie star not get what he wanted?"

Axel's jaw moved as if to speak, but nothing came out. Was Lus serious? Waving his hands up in mock surrender, Axel turned away. He couldnt even look at Lus right now.

"No, it's fine, really. I should've known better. I didn't know you'd be joking about that," Axel pouted, struggling to find another gesture to diminish his feelings. "I'm sorry I thought my friend wouldn't make me the butt of a joke or something."

That wasn't fair. And did he not get it? "Hey, no, I was- I was gonna get it. I just.." Clenching his hands he let more venom slip into voice. "Maybe I was just prioritizin' my family, didn't have to worry too much about you when you'd get plenty."

Spoiled brat, it's never enough, always wants more more more.

It wasn't fair at all.

"And yet Silas still had to cover for your ass!" Axel blurted out, pausing having already spoken. Shit.

Axel's hands pulled into tight fists, nails slightly digging into his palms. So Lus was going for excuses, fine.

"I wouldn't have cared about getting a present had we not talked so much about it. I still would have gotten you the skorupi had I know."

So it was being a bitch. Got it. Tipping his head, Lus gave a condescending grin, voice dripping with mockery. "Well thank you for your immense generosity, how very kind of you to still bless with me with your shit." Putting his hands in his pockets, he leaned back, "Yeah he had to cover for me, 'cuz maybe some of us have been havin' a really shit time, thought about that?"

"You've had months, Lus!" Axel finally looked at Lus with a bit of a glare. He just wanted to shake some sense into Lus, "Like, I know you've been going through a lot, but this is something that literally doesn't fucking matter! You could have just told me any time between then and now! You're just being a dick about this!"

Narrowing his eyes, Lus went quiet for a moment. It has to be all about him. Lowering his voice to a flatter register, he nearly scoffed. "You don't get it, do you?" He shrugged, "But no, no I get how this works. Call me the dick here, that makes sense."

He knew what he was doing, lacing on the sarcasm. "No, just beat a guy when he's down, when he's havin' the worst fuckin' time of his life. Clearly Lus is just a raving lunatic and all of this is below you, doesn't even matter."

Axel sputtered, his developing rage scrambling his words and thoughts into a incoherent babble. Why couldn't he seem to get his thoughts to organize a retort?

"You know thats not what I meant, Lus! Stop putting words like that in my mouth!" Were the only words Axel managed to find. He wanted to try and say something he knew wouldn't make him look worse but it seemed impossible to find.

Standing up straighter Lus rolled his eyes, putting more bite into it. "Might as well have."

Bitterness welled in his throat, and he scoffed, going mocking. "No, but you just get to say whatever you want, don'tcha? What you deserve, for someone as high and mighty as you. Most important fucker in the room."

Axel strained, flexing and stretching his hands in a futile attempt to calm down. Glaring Lus down with his scrunched expression he spat out in a mimicked mocking tone, "Oh, right, because my life is just SO good right now. Mhm totally"

"Though, you know..." Axel paused tapping his chin, acting in mock thought, "How would you even know what's been going on with my life? You've been avoiding me like I'm a bag of Trubbish sitting in your kitchen for months now."

"Can you fuckin' blame me?!" Lus snapped back too quickly, anger burning in his veins. He caught himself, swallowing and dropping his eyes to the floor, digging his nails into the skin of the palm of his ungloved hand.

Oh woe, poor baby, playing the victim.

The emotion leaking into his voice was more than just anger, he couldn't stop it. "It's insufferable! How fuckin' good you have it! And you don't even see it! Dense as a damn rock! There's only so much a guy can stand." With a huff, he dropped his head, looking away, running a hand over his face.

Axel flinched, looking down at his feet. What else was he supposed to say to that?

"Dense? Like I've not noticed the nasty lines you've said toward me. However, I assumed you were my friend. That I was simply misunderstanding what you were saying." Axel laughed, wrapping a piece of his long orange hair around his finger, "That my friend would tell me if something was wrong. If I did something…"

"And not be mad at me in silence about something out of my control." Axel smiled, like the idea was obvious. But his free hand twitched, digging his uneven, chewed on nails into the fabric of his sweater vest.

How dumb was he? Lus growled, "Yeah like you're just a fuckin' victim of circumstance here. Even now, you're so fuckin' oblivious! Even when I've laid it out for you!" He got mocking again, "But oh poor guy, can't handle someone bein' snarky."

Axel was just about done with Lus. He had looked over months of being ignored by someone he thought was just busy. And now he was hearing how much his supposed friend just saw him as a spoiled, oblivious brat? If he wanted a brat, that's what he would get.

"Fine. Oh that's all juuust fine. If I'm so oblivious, Maybe you don't need my gift. Because what would I know about the things you like? I must know nothing at all." Axel waved his hands in front of him, before taking a turn to walk toward the skorupi on the table.

The second Lus realized he was gonna take it, something shot through him and without much thought he darted infront of him, blocking the way, almost desperate. He couldn't let him do that. But after a second of blinking, his emotions caught up to him, anger burning in his veins. This bastard.

His voice rose into a shout, "Are you really that fuckin' thick in the head, do you really think that's what this is about?!" He threw his arms to the side as he snapped.

"If you're so fuckin' deluded you still think this is about the gift or the holidays- how much of an idiot are you?!" His words were loud, face pulled into a snarl. This lunatic, what kind of world was he living in that he couldn't see what was right infront of him?!

"No! I don't think this is about the gift or any of that shit. But, whatever it is, you refuse to tell me!" Axel screeched, barely resisting his instinct to shove Lus. "I'm not a mind reader. Which must be a shock to you, considering how you've been behaving." "The only thing I can even think of really is just… I dunno… You being jealous?" Axel could almost laugh in his frustration.

That stopped Lus in his tracks. Spoiled little brat.

Spoiled, spoiled, head so full of cotton he can't see below him.

"Just-" The sheer audacity, made it difficult to get his words, while the anger seeped up his limbs. "Just, just fuckin' jealous? That's what you think this is?" His words were gritted, almost hissed, much lower than his shouting, in his near-disbelief. That fucker even laughed.

"You don't- you don't get it at all, do you? Not in the fuckin' slightest. You get everything you fuckin' want and the only thing you can think that's wrong with that is to say I'm JEALOUS?!" How the fuck could he even say that?

"I get you've been bitter for months, but we've barely talked since early december! How the fuck am i supposed to 'get' anything when I don't hear from you?" Axel pointed his finger at Lus's chest "But would you rather me call you different words? You're Envious. Resentful. Full of unchecked spite." "But Thunderous strike me down, I'm not immune to the feeling either. I'm fucking jealous about the fact you actually get to bond with your mother. She replies to my texts practically less than you do! I'm certain if you tried calling your own mother she actually pick up! It's a fuckin' miracle i got ahold of my mother to get you a present!"

Looking down, Lus swatted his hand away. He couldn't stop himself from snapping, "That's not a real comparison and you fuckin' know it!" His hands were clenched into fists, shaking from the adrenaline, his voice straining as he shouted. "You don't have to worry about your mother workin' herself half to death, but you're so fuckin' spoiled that you can't see past your own shit and you just snear that I'm just a crazy jealous bitch!"

Pushing closer to him, he got up in his face, snarling his words. "Don't look at me for even a single fuckin' second and say that that's the same thing."

"That's because you didn't know me before my parents' divorce, Lus!" Axel took a step back from Lus, taking a bit more of a defensive posture. He wasn't looking to get hit by Lus when he couldn't hit back.

"I've told you how my mother worked! I spent most of my life in hotel rooms! And now, at least you have a mother who can be bothered to want you around for the holidays!"

Cry little baby, play the victim.

Lus grit his teeth in frustration, closing the distance, growling. "Stop deflecting." Why couldn't he just face it? Had to act like he had it worse here. "Don't tell me that you weren't lucky, that you didn't have it good. You always had everything, didn't have to worry a damn bit. I don't give a shit how our mothers act, that's not what this is about and you know it."

"If that's really all you can- ugh!" He groaned in aggrevation, running the other hand through his hair.

"Maybe I'm lucky! But Arc damn it I didn't consider half of the shit that happen to me good, or forbid 'everything' like you think it is." Axel hissed, digging his nails into his hand "I'm lucky now, but that ignores over at least 10 years of my lifetime where I was unbearable because I wasn't."

"You actually had family that you actually got to see more than once a year. You had people who loved and cared about you nearby so you wouldn't have to wait til the solstices or maybe a random arc damn weekend in the middle of May to see your aunt for the only time that year!" Axel having noticed how close Lus had gotten, shoved Lus' left side, "Get the fuck out of my face, dude!"

Stumbling back, Lus clutched his side on instinct, a brief panic in his gut. But seeing that fucking face, his anger swelled back in him, narrowing his eyes. "Oh yeah 'cuz that's so fuckin' tragic. I had my family, but what the fuck else did we have? A dying town that nobody fuckin' cares about!"

"And y'know what else?" He tipped his head to the side, giving a bit of a sneer. "That's when you were a kid. Like it or not you're a fuckin' adult now, and thinkin' we have it the same is damn laughable."

"Well I-I…" Axel paused and shook his head, trying to prevent himself from stuttering further. He looked away from Lus

He really just shoved his injured friend. What was wrong with him? Even if Lus was being a shithead, there was no reason to treat him like he was Riff…

No little blathering defense from that mouth?

It's true and he knows it.

Lus watched him for a moment, shoving his hands in his pockets, before he just scoffed.

"You can't even deny it."

Bitterness burned in his veins, the real meat of it. It was unfair, all of it, down to the core. "You've got your whole fuckin' life just handed to you." Some mockery slipped into his voice, waving with a hand as he spoke, leaning forward with a condescending grin. "Got it aaall sorted out, don'tcha, Princey?"

He almost spat the last word, lacing it with venom.

Axel's mouth moved, but no sounds came out. Not even a half hearted defense or an apology for shoving Lus like that. Turning away from the other's burning gaze, Axel just picked at his shirt.

"I-I.. I don't have… it all sorted out." Axel managed to stutter out, his voice kind of quiet as he looked to the floor. He couldn't find any words to use as a gas to reignite the anger he had held just seconds prior.

It was almost sad looking at him, if Lus could find pity.

Pity is all he would've thought for you.

He just narrowed his eyes. "Your whole fuckin' dream just fell outta the sky for you! Well news flash, some of us weren't so lucky." Without really thinking, he got louder. "Do you have any fuckin' idea how hard I've had to work to even be here?!"

Pointing aggressively, he kept on."You didn't have to do a damn thing and I'm livin' on a fuckin' knife's edge and I've already-" Biting his words down, he cut himself off, dropping his head in frustration and upset. It wasn't fair.

"Do you think that just because I got lucky that I didn't have to work?" Axel wheezed out as he looked at Lus, "That my job is easier than laying in my bed all day stewing in my own self doubt? It's not! And it's not even like I get paid good!"

For a second, Lus thought he heard him wrong. Was that directed at him? He stuttered, "Is that really-?"

He thinks you're lazy, ungrateful.

Was that what he thought he'd been doing this whole time? "You really-" It was infuriating, and the anger choked him. "Is that what you fuckin' think this is?! I've been workin' my fuckin' ass off through this nightmare, while you've just been- Yeah like that compares!"

He wasn't even really thinking, just boiling from the emotion, shouting. It didn't even sound snarky, it was just hurt. A bit manic. "Oh yeah, 'cause me havin' to try to get into college without a fuckin' education and do everything myself, fight tooth and arcdamn nail, yeah that's TOTALLY the same thing as the meanial amout of work you gotta do for that stable fuckin' job!"

"Why do you think I'm talking about you?!" Axel yelled back, "The fact you heard me talking about laying down in my bed and assumed it's about you is your own damn fault, Lus!"

That had Lus stuttering again, "I-", it was hard to form his words. But that pride bit him, bitterness on his tongue. "Oh, well I'm sorry then. No, I'm clearly the self-absorbed dick here."

He layed on the mockery thick. "Not the guy with his head so far up his own ass he doesn't see his own shit for what it is. Off in your fuckin' lala land of self-importance. No, gotta be me." Cocking his head, he gestured dismissively, "Should I be bowin', mister high and fuckin' mighty?"

Axel's eye twitched, that's it. Axel took a deep breath, almost as if to act exactly how Lus had been describing him. To try and be the better man in the situation.

"If you want to act like a name-calling, immature child, Riff; I'll act just like you." Axel's voice was deep, as he glared at Lus.

"Because all you're doing is acting just like me." Axel almost grinned, walking closer to Lus, "And you know? It suits you perfectly."

Lus stumbled back a step, looking down at him. Hold on- He half-choked half-laughed in disbelief. "The fuck did you just call me?" He laughed when he spoke, gesturing sharply, "You call me petty- immature- Have you only had one fuckin' enemy in your whole damn life?!"

Calling you a child, immature, funny.

He's never matured a day in his life.

Pride seethed in him, and his tongue turned bitter. He cocked his head to the side, standing up straighter. "And you're just tellin' on yourself here, fuckwad. You can't call me immature when you've never acted grownup a day in your fuckin' life." Leaning down again, he pointed at him aggressively, "Don't you ever fuckin' say that about me again."

"I grew up enough to not be the same Atlas that burried my feelings and lost ALL my friends because I couldn't tell my friend what I thought about him until I was screaming." Axel smacked Lus's hand, "You're acting like a 16 year old who decides to never grow old. You're gonna push everyone away just like I did."

Pulling his hand back sharply, Lus winced, before he just snarled. "I'm definitely not sixteen anymore, I learned my fuckin' lesson there, but apparently one of us didn't."

"If anyone here didn't grow up, it's you. You can't even admit it." He cradled his hand close to his chest, hissing his words. That fucker was one to talk. "One of us doesn't get the fuckin' safety net that you do, that easy shit, that got fuckin' handed to you. I had to learn shit the hard way. Apparently you got the same fuckin' treatment but still have your head in the arcdamn clouds! 'Cause everything worked out for you all fuckin' storybook, didn't it? Huh?"

"No Lus, it didn't. And the reason I'm fucking telling you is because you don't have that damn safety net!" Axel growled. "I'm telling you you'll loose everything if you behave like this to others! I got lucky with Team Skull Unova and I still almost lost that too!"

Axel paused before backing up, and shaking his head "Arc damn, its a good thing you're only ranked Champion. You'd be absolutely insufferable as the actual champion. I think even having the head of Team Plasma for an hour again would be less damaging than having you up on that podium for a minute."

Now that stopped Lus dead.

Blinking for a second, he tried to even the process what was said, looking down at his hands and back up. He snapped, "Now where the fuck did that come from?!"

You're lower than life to him, lower than dirt.

Self-important, spoiled, greedy, little brat.

Gripping his hand and snapping up straight he burst out, "Is that how fuckin' lowly I am to you?! You're so high on your truth-foresaken pedestal that I'm lower than fuckin' shit to you?! 'Cause I'll tell ya somethin' asshole, I only got that fuckin' rank 'cause of my own damn merit, unlike someone I could mention."

Oh. There was something else there, wasn't there?

He leaned down, hissing, getting an angry grin. "Oh- and you'd know somethin' about Team Plasma wouldn't you, Daddy's boy?"

Axel stared at Lus, bringing his dad into this? No, no…

"At least my father loved me enough to stay!" Axel spoke without thinking, but he didn't care. "Not like you'd know what that's like, would you?"

That made Lus jerk back, his momentum lost.

He just stared at Axel, his eyes flicking across him, trying to figure out what to even say. He clenched his fists, face scrunched. "You- You're a special kinda fucked up, y'know that?!"

His throat felt tight, having to practically choke out his words. "Just rub it in my fuckin' face, good idea! That's all you fuckin' do!" He was shaking with rage and dismay. Whatever his initial argument was, he was losing the line, it was a hole in a dam of unfiltered emotion. "With how fuckin' spoiled you are! How much you've had HANDED to you! How much you never had to fuckin' worry about! Just rub my nose in shit all fuckin' gleeful now wouldya?!"

"Oh boo fucking hoo, says the man whose been just trying to rile me up after he made a mountain out of a durant hill" Axel was glaring at him, "I never was showing off on anything! I'm sorry you take my existance to be an insult to you! That you think MY life is a sign of your failure in things or something!"

"I only am getting hurtful because you fucking started this, and you're pissed I'll be just as negative as you."

Lus snapped, "Don't get all fuckin' moral on me! Don't act like you're all fuckin' high and noble here. That's taurosshit and you know it!" He pointed aggressively in Axel's direction, but he'd taken a step back, and stayed there.

"You can talk like you're as humble as a fuckin' monk but that's a lie. You're flauntin' it every fuckin' chance you get and the fact you don't seem to realize that-" Cutting himself off he made an aggravated noise, and ran a hand through his hair.

A failure, a failure, he called you a failure.

Standing with his eyes at the ceiling, he gripped his hair, scrunching his eyes shut as his breathing quickened. That crack in the dam became another, and another. He grit his teeth. "You don't fuckin' realize it, no matter what I say, and that's the worst fuckin' part. Think you're so high and arcdamn mighty, ontop of the fuckin' world! Never had to worry a day in your life!"

He dropped his head, not even really looking at anything. "Not food, not water, not the power bein' shut off. You're not still fuckin' paranoid of the tapwater 'cause there was LEAD IN IT!" The laugh he made was pained, "Then you just fuckin' look down on me!"

Dropping his voice, he looked up at Axel, a bit of a bitter smile. "Yeah, your dad loves you. I don't even fuckin' remember the man. But all the shit in you, I see where you got it from. Don't act like I'm wrong."

Lus' outburst had ruined whatever flow Axel had gotten. He sputtered, guilt creeping up his shoulders as he tried to find something, anything that would work as a reply.

"Lus- I…." Axel attempted to apologize, but the words refused to come from his throat, and what did come out didn't exactly help, "I didn't mean-"

He cut himself off, his mouth making movements like a magikarp out of water.

Watching him, Lus almost laughed. "What? You didn't mean it? Don't start that taurosshit. You're just tryina' save your sorry hide."

'Didn't mean it'. Yeah right, after everything he'd said, everything he'd done. The fucking gall.

Hypocrite hypocrite hypocrite, whiny little brat.

Grimacing, Lus cocked his head. "And- fucker you whine about me avoidin' you?"

He stood up taller, the bitterness coating his tongue bleeding into proper rage. "While I've been here workin' my ass off and everythin's been comin' apart, you have been off in special movie star land with your big gig and special treatment that was fuckin' handed to you on a silver platter!" He was shouting at that point, glaring daggers down at that bastard.

"H-hey! It wasn't just given to me!" Axel argued, trying to avoid looking at Lus. "I got a lucky break, yeah, but I still had gotten it on my own!"

He had potential, that's why they gave him the roles they had. That's what Axel told himself, anyway. That he had merits that the director had liked…

Rolling his eyes, Lus just scoffed. "That's such a joke."

"You didn't get here on your own fuckin' merit and you know it." His lip curled into a sneer, and he dripped venom into his voice. "You might like to play pretend, but we all know it. You only got this shit 'cause your 'uncle'," he put air quotes around the word, "is BRYCEN. That's why they hand you all this shit, 'cause a rich guy likes you."

"That's not true!" Axel's voice cracked, causing him to cover his mouth. "It's… It's not because of that! He wouldn't…"

Axel had considered the thought… But he didn't like it. He wanted to believe he could have gotten this far on his own. Without strings behind the scenes. Who would want to know the only reason people would ever care was because of a 'relative'?

Lus snapped, "Don't act stupid, Axel. What are the fuckin' odds?!" What a dense little jerk. "You're their little fuckin' prince up there and you didn't have to even do a damn thing to earn it! You got your whole fuckin' dream 'cuz of a guy your dad knows!"

He pushed in closer, raising his voice, gesturing aggressively while bitterness choked his throat. "And then you have the fuckin' nerve to go prancin' around like you own the damn place! 'Cuz you think you're all hot shit and can just walk all over me! And that you're not just a spoiled brat!"

Spoiled, spoiled, little brat.

"Stop!" Axel screeched as he looked at Lus, unable to find a proper explaination, "I don't act like that! Shut up!"

Like that helped. But Axel couldn't stop himself from screaming it. How was he supposed to respond when he knew by now Lus was going to intentionally take the worst interpretation of anything he said in his own defense.

Lus just scoffed again, "Taurosshit. You do it all the damn time!"

With a bitter smile, he cocked his head, "But clearly you don't fuckin' need me anymore, livin' the damn high life over there! It'd be a damn disgrace to be associated with someone like me, huh?"

"No it wouldn't be Lus! Why don't you listen!" Axel's nails dug into his sweater as he looked at Lus, "I've tried to help you the best I could, Arc I was considering splitting my next few paychecks to add to the fund, even this project isn't paying much."

Axel really hadn't wanted to get into the money. He really hadn't but, it did come to mind… Did Lus only really befriend him for the money that Axel had stolen? Was that 5 million he promised to give to Anville really the only reason Lus had kept him around this long?

No… It couldn't be. Right… Lus was better than that, even with this argument being so petty.

Shit. A pit in his gut froze Lus in place, when he realized what he was risking. They needed that.

But it was brief, rage seizing his limbs, clenching his fists. This fucker wanted to act like he was just some poor innocent baby? Wanted to keep acting like he was better than him?

Greedy greedy greedy.

Who's to say he would even hold up his end of the fucking bargain? His nails dug into the skin of his palm, and he shouted. "Quit with that shit! Quit playin' the fuckin' poor victim here!" He glared down at him and sneered. "What, are you gettin' disillisioned with this little charity case? Is that it?"

"I'm getting 'disillusioned' by my friend constantly insulting me and just calling me names, Lus! Why do you have to accuse me of viewing you as lesser? You keep saying things and I don't know how you came to those conclusions. Please Lus-" Axel paused, and just shook his head.

"I still don't get it…" Axel was frowning, his anger was still high but what was starting to form was a chill that draped over him in sadness.

He really didnt want to lose a friend.

For a second, Lus just looked at him, eyes narrowed. How much would it take to get through to this asshole?

Fury burned under his skin, and he shook his head, dropping his voice. "You never fucking get it. No matter how much I lay it out at your arcdamn feet."

Standing up straight, he cocked his head to the side, and let the anger burn through his words. "No wonder your mother never wants you around. I think I can see why."

Little brat.

Spoiled, spoiled.

He got everything you didn't.

He pushed in close, looming over him, kept his voice low, steady, but the words were dripping with venom.

Looking him straight in the eye, he snarled. "'Cuz here's the fuckin' truth, Axel. You're a greedy, entitled, little bitch. You're nothin' but a shallow, spoiled, self-absorbed ass. Ya feel better now that I spelled it out for ya, huh, fucker?"

Axel, while all of the parts of him wanted to yell, scream, throw insults back at Lus… He had a sudden wave of eerie calm rush over him. A single question repeating in Axel's mind he needed the answer to right then and now.

Axel's voice cracked as the words left his lips, this moment of clarity allowing him to speak his mind.

"Lus, Did you ever even like me…? Or Have you not liked me this whole time and I was…." Axel stopped himself.

"Do you hate me, Lus?"

Somehow.. that stalled him.

Somehow, after everything he said, that took Lus aback.

But, as his mind was swimming, he clenched his fists, and that last bit of anger gripped him.

His voice was forceful, but he stuttered. "Maybe- maybe I do."

Axel frown turned to a sad smile. His breathing started to become rapid despite his attempts to calm himself down.

"… That's fine." He lied, trying to stop his own emotion.

His good friend hated him. He had to take Lus at his word, right? It was fine. He would just have to leave. So why couldn't he bring himself to move from the spot. Tears fell from his eyes onto the floor below. He had so much anger in him just a few minutes before so…

Why couldn't he stop crying?

For a second, Lus just stared, stalled. It seemed like in an instant the anger in the room had just dropped, and while he still felt it boiling in his nerves, his hands shook. He'd been right up in Axel's face, but at that display, he jerked back a step or two.

He shoved his hands in his pockets in an attempt to just do something with them, and stared while his friend- fuck, he couldn't call him that anymore- while Axel just started sobbing. He bit his tongue. Well.. served him right.

"I-I'm fine. J-j-just give me a m-moment" Axel tried to recover, his voice quivering and pausing as he spoke.

He was lying, but trying to hide his crying was impossible at this point. Axel tried to wipe the tears away from his eyes, backing up against the wall. When his back hit the wall, he froze.

His expression shifted.

Was it one of terror? Or a dead eyed gaze?

Axel's tears continued to fall from his eyes as he covered his face, his hands shaking as he tried to wipe the tears from his face.

His long fingernails grazed across his skin, a slight scratchmark forming on Axel's left cheek. Bright red blood began to form from the cut, mixing with Axel's tears. His fingers trace along the scratch mark, his breathing doing nothing to stop his shaking. Almost as if his hands were acting on their own, his fingers dug into his face.

Riiiip.

Axel's eyes stared directly into Lus's, his fingers peeling at the skin trying to get a grip. The sound of wallpaper being ripped from a wall rang out as his hands got a piece of his skin to rip to his cheek. His fingers bulged beneath his skin, scratching at it to give way.

When Lus glanced up his heart caught in his throat, stumbling away in shock.

What the FUCK-

Axel's jaw moved, his mouth not opening despite his attempts to speak. It was like his lips had fused with his skin, almost as if printed on a sheet of paper. His eyes gave off a cry for help his lips could not communicate.

Ripping down the center of his face, he began to pull his skin open. Gooey red blood began to form, connecting the pieces of face together. Axel's left eye was pulled out of view.

Unable to take his eyes off it, Lus practically stopped breathing, his chest hurt, he felt sick-

Was there screaming? No- it felt like there should've been, or something- It was shifting, it didn't make sense, the expression either dead or manic.

He couldn't move as Axel just kept tearing-

And there sat the void.

Beneath Axel's skin, there was just… An Abyss. Pitch black where the light of the room was quickly erased, even as Axel's body tore his face open wider.

It should've been a gore show but there was just-

Nothing there.

Just.. hollow.

Empty.

Just paper-like flesh peeled away and connected by strands of bloody sinew.

If Lus was breathing he couldn't tell, but he couldn't move, except his hand came over his mouth to stop him from hurling.

It wasn't consistent, it didn't make sense, it was disgusting, none of it made sense-

Axel seemed to take notice of Lus's reaction with his remaining eye locked still. Unlike his lips, it still seemed to be a solid piece of matter. His hands dropped to his side, and Axel tilted his head to the side.

The flaps of his skin stayed still for a good few moments before falling limp; it just dangled as Axel breathed. Tears fell from his eye only to be sucked into the abyss like a black hole. His hands returned to his face, his left hand gripped the left side as his right grabbed what little remained attached. It slowly ripped his eye away from Lus, tearing the eye clear off and letting the paper fall into the void.

Axel's chin moved, as if he was still trying to talk. Whatever form of verbalization he had was long gone now. His hand stretched out to Lus as he walked toward him, fingers curling as if to grab him.

Barely managing not to yelp, Lus jerked back away from him, unable to take his eyes off. He narrowly avoided tripping over a chair when he stumbled back against the table.

He was just stuck staring at the flayed skin and that gaping abyss while Axel shambled toward him. It was just empty. Hollow. Why was it empty–

Like everything—his eyes his face his voice—had just been skin-deep, like he was just a fucked up paper mache doll.

Shallow.

Fake.

His chest hurt from his panicked breathing, his heart caught in his throat.

Had it all been fake?

Fuck- shit- the crackling, in the air, shit he knew what this was.

Static in his ears and trying to stop shaking, he covered his face and squeezed his eyes shut. It wasn't real it wasn't real it wasn't real-

"Lus!"

Axel's voice wavered, his breathing heavy as he waited for a response from Lus. He had his hand held out having wanted to touch Lus to try and calm him down, but he hesitated.

Lus would have freaked out, right? "Are you- with me?" Axel continued, his voice cracking, "I'm not gonna touch you- I'll… I'll leave when you open your eyes again."

He sounded.. normal.

After a moment's hesitation, Lus lowered his hands a bit, and peeked his eyes open. Looking him up and down quickly, Axel looked.. normal. No more gaping hole, no more papery flesh, no more blood.

The tears were still there though.

Slowly, he stood up straight again, still not quite believing it. The image was still lodged in his brain.

He tried to put bite in his voice but he stuttered, stepping away from Axel a bit, "Yeah- uh. You should- .."

'Get the fuck out of my place' is what he wanted to say, but his brain was still frazzled.

Still processing what had even happened. Not quite believing it was back to normal.

But his blood chilled at the voice in his ear.

It's an illusion.

You know what you saw.

Axel's face was all red and his eyes all puffy, remnants of the tears that had dripped from his eyes staining the corners. He sniffled but gave a nod.

"I'll- I'll get out of your hair now." Axel clearly hestitated as he looked away from Lus.

Axel would walk his way toward the front door of the dorm, turning back to try and look Lus in the eyes before he left. "Goodbye, Lus."

Lus just stared, eyes narrowed. Not quite a glare, but he wanted him gone already.

He didn't move from where he stood, and didn't open his mouth. What more was there to say?

Axel sniffled, just tried to smile as he opened the door and left.

And with the shut, Lus was left alone.

For a moment, he stared after him, before his shaking legs gave out from under him, and crumbled to the ground.