#olympianfate

there was so much going on that bucky was walking a dangerous line with his nightmares. barely been fighting a few minutes ( hours? ) and all the memories of his hydra days had him by the throat. the only thing keeping him together was the fact that most of the things he was facing had six arms. legs? appendages?

they didn't look human.

but, they moved fast as hell. after setting the small raccoon creature down and dodging yet another question about his arm, the soldier had been tackled to the ground. hot breath and dripping teeth has his neck straining for fresh air. as he fought, one of those appendages pinned down his own metal arm. there was a creak and then a crack. bucky wasn't sure if it was metal or bone.

there wasn't enough space for his rifle between them so he twisted his thigh just enough to reach for one of the many knives strapped to his body. the first strike went to the neck, where a human artery would be. no idea if the thing had the same anatomy but all his training was taking over. emotions slowly pushed to the side. he started slipping down into the dark place he went when everything got to be too much.

several more stabs eventually guaranteed his freedom. in it's pain, though, the thing swatted at his body and flung him across the battlefield.

the early years between them had been far from easy. a combination of steve's trauma, tony's traume, anger on both sides, rising stress, and a number of other problems meant they were more like oil and water than anything else. yet, beneath everything the soldier saw a determined, gentle heart who wanted to save everyone. he, the trained soldier, saw the impracticality in that. yes, steve always wanted to save everyone but sometimes ( especially with the ever increasing villainous powers ) the battle plan had to lean more towards triage.

in all the time tony was missing, steve hated himself. he should've been in new york instead of playing secret avenger. he should've fought harder about the sokovian accords and tony's insistence he could fix everything. it wasn't a lack of trust in his husband it was the fact that their relationship, in many aspects, was being torn apart. he hated the lack of control. he hated being backed into a corner. it never ended well for the person attempting to push him.

being a "superhero" in a world organization was a first for everyone involved. despute what everyone thought about him he did understand there were political nuances there. but, he was never going to be anyone's dancing monkey ever again and he certainly wasn't going to let capitolism tell him who he could save.

but, all that was in the past. tony was still recovering from his time out in space but at least they were together again. a gentle kiss is pressed to the other man's knuckles as he listens to whatever that soft voice wants to tell him.

" me, too, " the soldier scoffs. his eyes gravitate towards the band on his ring finger, using his thumb to spin it several times. " for half my childhood i had bucky there and, trust me, i appreciate everything he did. even think i was a little in love with him at one point but he never... " steve's lips hang open for a few seconds while he searches for the right words. " he never completely understood why i was the way he was. how could he? just like there are aspects of his life i can never understand. "