#olnf pran

1- Secure: Where the baby got upset when their mom left, but calmed down quickly once she returned. It signalled that the babies trusted that their mother would return, found comfort in her, and were easily soothed when distressed. It signalled that their caregivers were attentive to their needs and present. 2- Anxious-Ambivalent: The baby got significantly more distressed when the mom left and had trouble calming down after she returned, clinging to their parent while also appearing mad at them. Tend to be clingy and fear leaving their caregiver's side. It signals a lack of a feeling of security from the child towards their parent and an inconsistent response to the child's emotional needs. 3- Insecure-Avoidant: The baby didn't seem to get upset by the mother leaving and didn't seem to care when she returned. Doesn't seek any comfort from the mother and doesn't interact with the stranger. Highly independent, can signal that they're independent from their caregivers, who don't fulfil the child's emotional needs.

Later on, in the mid-eighties, other researchers identified another attachment style based on new research:

4- Disorganised-insecure: A mix of avoidant and anxious reactions, tending to be unpredictable.

So… Where does Pran fit into all of this? Well, if you've played his route, you might be familiar with his backstory. If you haven't, fear not, for I have screenshots!

I remember this scene being like a punch in the gut to me. I had been whining about not really enjoying his route because I didn't get him the way I did with the other characters, but this specific scene put everything into perspective.

Pran was highly neglected as a child. Neither his physical or emotional needs were met by his parents, who he describes as hippies. Due to their beliefs, Pran was "homeschooled, " which alienated him from other children and affected his socialization skills. He's shown to be anxious and quiet as a kid, not really engaging with anyone and keeping those he meets at arms-length, a trait he still maintains later on in life.

He was also a people pleaser. His grandparents wanted him to get a better education and firmly opposed the way his parents raised him (and hated his father), so they were constantly at odds with Pran's parents. In his attempts to try and please his grandparents, he'd anger his parents, and in his attempts to anger his parents, he'd anger his grandparents. Since no one was ever happy, no matter what he chose, he chose to do nothing at all. He's closed off and a contrarian as a consequence of the neglect he suffered, and of being used by his family as a pawn in their in-fighting.

I think a lot of his behaviour is consistent with an Insecure-Avoidant type. His forced independence, the neglect he suffered, learning to mask his feelings and avoiding voicing them because he feared they wouldn't be heard. And all of this affected his relationships in the future. They're functional, utilitarian.

We see with JB how their entire relationship is entirely dependent on her insistence, and the effort that she puts in. No matter how many times she reiterates her interest, or tries to engage with him, he always seems to shut her down and insist that he doesn't care, even though he does genuinely grow to like her. Those are behaviours he adheres to to make others avoid him-- and since JB, above all, is someone who craves praise and attention, in theory, it should be the easiest way to make himself unappealing to her. But she stays. And Pran still withdraws, he isn't used to being able to rely on other people aside from himself (and later Jeremy) so he's unused to it. All his relationships before her were entirely physical and superficial so he could avoid the emotional labour.

Beneath the surface, I think Pran feels lonely and misunderstood. He's scared of admitting he cares and opening himself up to be a disappointment again. It's a sick way of feeling safe. His self-esteem is wrapped by his experiences-- your caregivers are the first figures you look up to for validation. The lack of positive attention, be it support, acknowledgement and their inconsistent at best presence in his life, not to mention his isolation from other kids which made him straight up lack other forms of external support and validation, made his sense of self-worth extremely low. Beneath the surface, I think Pran feels lonely and misunderstood. He's scared of admitting he cares and opening himself up to be a disappointment again. He prefers to pretend to be cold and aloof because it means that people expect nothing from him. And if they don't expect anything, it means he can't be a disappointment. He can't be rejected if he doesn't invest himself in a relationship in the first place.

That might have also stunted his ability to recognise and process his emotions in a healthy way, which could've manifested as an apparent numbness in his teen years.

Before anyone gets too depressed, this isn't a life sentence. I think that by opening himself up (in a way) to a relationship in the first place, Pran took a huge step in breaking that cycle. As pushy as JB can be, I do believe that she genuinely cares about her partner, and sticking around and reiterating her interest, engaging with him even when he does all in his power to push her away, could perhaps act like a positive to him.