#oldest draft

I started by making it illegal to sin, because why should God have all the fun of punishing others? Unfortunately people were sinning anyway and punishing them became too much work, so instead I took away everyone's ability to sin from birth.

Everyone's meals are pre-portioned so there's no more gluttony.

Everyone gets a cell where they can't observe or be observed in any way so there's no lust or envy.

Nobody learns what possessions are nor has any so there's no greed.

Nobody is expected to accomplish anything so there's no sloth or pride.

We figure any wrath is moot since in the cells it wouldn't affect anyone.

This is what makes God happiest. He tells me I did a good job, and that everyone is going to heaven now.

Everyone is very confused and overwhelmed when they arrive in heaven, but when God sees their lives free from sin He welcomes them with open arms to an eternal personal cell with pre-portioned meals and no expectations.

- Wireless devices always have more latency. This isn't actually one of my reasons, but it's worth mentioning because many people do experience this and it's valid.

- Most devices don't give a clear low-battery warning, meaning it bugs out or abruptly quits while you're in the middle of something and that can easily ruin your activity/workflow. The ones that do warn you are often annoying as hell if they repeat frequently, make sounds, give you a pop-up, or speak actual words to you like some wireless headphones do.

- Having to replace batteries is a nightmare on many levels, but for me the biggest one is wasted money. I would buy a wireless thing which tends to be more expensive than its wired counterpart, the battery dies, I have no batteries at home so I have to do an entire grocery trip before I can continue using the thing, I buy batteries, I put them in, they last a few months maybe, they die again, I go to replace them, and oh look at that the backup ones corroded or otherwise expired no matter how I store them, and I have to keep paying money to upkeep my device in addition to its standard wear and tear. If I'm lucky the batteries haven't expired and I get to do it all over again in a few months. That entire rigmarole is skipped with a wired device.

- I'm more tolerant of wireless devices that have charging cables, but after a certain point I'd tend to leave it plugged in whenever possible, defeating the purpose.

- Frevin the Foolerish Fae used to steal my computer mouse and hide it in various places around my house because he could easily grab it off of the desk. I'm seldom in the mood for a scavenger hunt first thing in the morning so a wired mouse solves that problem, as Frevin isn't strong enough to unplug it.