#old emails

I have no idea what the context was, and I now suspect wondering what this could possibly mean will haunt me for the rest of my days.

You know what my aunts used to always tell me? All these negativities are spirits only trying to get you as far away from the Lord: spirit of loneliness, of depression, of insecurity, of jealousy, of worry, of fear. I know this isn’t new to you but think about it: if you really are feeling lonely, you can always choose to treat yourself, take yourself out for coffee or shopping, and just slowly allow yourself to be comfortable in doing things you only think would be best doing with company. You don’t need a girl (Haha sorry). You don’t have to go looking for her or chasing after who you think is your perfect mate. In God’s time, she will be there at the right place, and she will be more than your idea of perfection because she’s the one the Lord has moulded to fit your life perfectly ;)

> > > > WANT SOME ANGRY SEX SEAN??  Come back tonight at 3::45 am.  You'll find > > Koester wide awake with his work all aroudn him, he hasn't slept a wink, > > he's drinking scotch and he's got a very direct, almost dangerous, look > > that seems to be aimed out the window over the New York harbor at places > > beyond. > > > > Push him down and forcefully suck him off, or demand some good > > banging.....he'll match you moment for moment, believe me.  But you won't > > get a word out of him until he's ready.  He plans things in his head, and > > he doesn't talk about them until their done.  And right now he has B I G > > plans.                                                                                                  

05.19.22

I saw that I sent this to myself in 2015. I don’t know what blog it came from, I didn’t make it. But I liked it enough to email it to myself.

20-year-old me to a sad philosophy graduate student