Tinsleweed is Terrible
ciaranthecrow
((Hey! :D So, how about Michelle and Ciaran having friendly banter about which spells are best for various things for the drabble writing request? ^^
“Tinsleweed is not the end-all cure for dragon pox!” Michelle said with a growl. The bird opposite her snorted in response, inasmuch as bird-kin fey like him could. Talons clicked along the porcelin side of the teacup, sounding like rain on glass as he gathered his thoughts. She leaned over, refilling his cup of tea before her own.
“An’ dinnae say it it’s a good cure fer acne. I know fer a fact you don’ get any an’ all yer knowledge comes from outdated texts an’ hearsay.” Michelle said before Ciaran could finish pulling his thoughts. A frown quickly creased his brow.
“My books are not outdated, Michelle.” He replied, taking a sip. Michelle raised an eyebrow at him, asking for him to elaborate in the infuriating manner which indicated she didn’t quite believe him anyway. His feathers rose, giving the illusion of an irritated cat.
“Michelle, they are timeless tomes of knowledge which have been preserved since ancient times as-”
“They’re outdated. They ain’t been tested since they were writ an’ nae in replicable conditions. They’re worse than old wives’ tales an’ an tell yeh, Tinsleweed is one a’ th’ worst plants t’ use as a base fer alchemical reactions an’ even worse fer bleeding potions. If I ‘ad a tenner fer-”
“Then you, Miss Michelle, would have no money. I tell you, Tinsleweed is a phenomenal base when it’s mixed with the proper alkali solution!”
“Hogwash! Alkali solution? Last text I read that suggested an alkali solution recommended that Caustic Potash be used as the base of choice. You know what that does? It’s a damn good hair remover, Ciaran.”
The crow let out another undignified snort.
“It’s also a decent way to remove hair from tanning hides. If you happened to wear your glasses the next time I come over, I can show you the passage I’m referring to. That is, if your glasses help with the blindness of age.” Ciaran shot Michelle a cheeky smile, and the old woman rolled her eyes, amused herself.
“Ciaran, you know as well as I do tha’ these eyes are still sharp as a needle.”
“A darning needle perhaps.”
“Still sharper than tha’ beak a’ yours.” She teased, and there was an undignified squawk.
“Do I need to remind you about your very hard-headed insistence that Hoarhound was a fantastic grasshopper repellent?”
“It is!”
“Only for common earth grasshoppers. My acquaintance's garden still hasn’t recovered.”
“True... but need I remind you about that one time you argued up and down that the Oblivion root was not a nauseant and was in fact an herbal cold remedy?”
“... Michelle, if you’re going to dredge up old arguments, then I’m just going to have to mention one word.”
“What?”
“Umdhelbi.”
“....”
“....”
.
.
.
.
.
“Tinsleweed is still terrible.”
