Sweat covers my whole body. Even the cool air on my breasts, only covered by the lacy blue bra, can't change that. The air smells of, well, me. You raised me to a place where I feel really good, where I am really deep, and you got me playing with myself.
===
There is a history behind each word. Associations that are there, through upbringing, education, and societal expectations. Those associations are not always right, or right anymore, and can be limiting. They can keep one in place and prevent them from allowing one to feel the whole range of what one can be.
===
I’m so deep, and I want to follow. But I’m not sure I can do that right now. I never knew what breaking was. Never had any interest in it. But I like having my thoughts changed in subtle ways. Ways that enhance the experience for both of us. Call me girl or call me plaything, call me an object for your desires. I readily accept that when in a trance, it all feels so good. But this, this is different. But also the same. I don't know right now.
===
We talked about names and words. What they mean, and what they mean to me. How I should be called, if I want to be called something. What I am, and what I want to be.
===
It felt good. I wanted to follow you. I want to accept it. You are talking, and I can see where you are going. We talked about this. I don't like the word slut, I don't like any post that mentions it.
I know I want to accept this. I want to own this. This derogatory term, this phrase. It is just a term I was raised to dislike.
===
There is no judgment in it. Why don’t you like it? What does it mean to you? How is that definition contracting with how you act? How do you call it that you play with strangers on the internet? No judgement, just curiosity.
===
I did not think anything of it when I was brought deep in a trance. Layering, fractionating. I just felt good, aroused. He encouraged me to masturbate, to rub my sensitive parts. I was nice and deep and wet. I am open. Receptive. This will be a good trance, I can feel it.
===
It is the one word I resisted against. My trance is immediately less deep when it is mentioned. I don't like it, it doesn't feel like me.
But it also feels like a failure. It is so common. More than half of the spirals have it. It prevents me from enjoying so many files. And logically, I cannot understand it. Why this word? Of all the words I consider as part of this kink?
===
When I’m nice and deep, he starts on how I want to be called. On terms and words, and what they meant. On owning who I am, on what I want to be. How good it feels to give in to my desires. I felt amazing, I want to follow, go with the words. My world is the words, the play, the touch. I follow you deeper.
The tone changes. The words change to different terms and their meaning. On liberating, on how dislike them can hold me back.
I agree, but something deep within me slowly starts protesting. It associates it with denigratory words, and I feel my wetness drying. But another part of me likes this. Wants the freedom it brings. My sensitive bud becomes rock hard.
My entranced head can't differentiate.
Do I like this? Do I not? The conflict is big, but there are no thoughts in my head. There is only this river of trance, and I am adrift. The dam of my resolve is bulging under the pressure of the torrent.
Bulging, stretching. But not breaking. My mind holds another day? It has never been this close to breaking.
It is exciting, in a scary way. My body and mind are conflicted. And frustrated.
I don't know what to do with it. I don't know. I don't think. I just exist, I hear, I try.
===
do you say that word with some shame still?
Yes, I think I do
I don't know why.
I'm liking how freeing it seems to embrace the term, claiming it. I get less enjoyment out of degradation and it seems that there is a lot of writings, imagery, porn, that I would enjoy if I could leave that behind. And I'm pretty insatiable with regard to hypno-themed things.
At the same time, I'm not a social butterfly, I have no desire to do things for multitudes of men, or become public.
===
Your "calm down" is like I’m being caught after uncontrolled falling for a long time. It is a relief. A new kind of frustration. A new way of feeling that I failed. A wonderful way I know I have been good. It is the rest my body desperately craved. It feels like the end of a story is withheld. It is conflict. And I balance on a mountain of conflicting feelings, unsure which way to fall.
Obedience wins.
I take a deep breath and make my muscles relax. I picture the energy and tension and tingling leaving my body through my fingers and toes. I'm working on getting my breathing steady as I read your words of praise.
My joints still have residual energy, but I feel the serenity of trance coming back. You tell me I did well.
The word still feels uncomfortable. I still don't want to call myself slut. But the negative charge is lessened. I idly wonder if it can withstand a torment like this better than my logical reasoning, but that thought drifts away as your words hug me, and you let me know I'm good.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Thing is, I started doing inktober. Writing some Maria Hill fics and that was all great, made it two days in and my life starts to collapse into a busy mess so that I am now stuck at day three and we are already eight days into october. So, yeah, that's great...
I am gonna finish it, don't worry, just not on the right days and maybe not even in this month (because I have also other stuff to do), but I will finish it...
Anyway, if you want to check out the two stories I have already written: Inktober 2023 prompts - Chapter 1 - Hyena_Woodie - Marvel Cinematic Universe [Archive of Our Own]
It is (gonna be) mainly Maria Hill, with other characters added to the mix, so if you read it: Enjoy :)
Dear future you
Hi Doc, truth be told, I am not really sure what to say. Future to no? So, Thank you for staying. Perhaps by this time, we already shared quite a bit of whatever, no? Perhaps I already brought you to that theme park yet, or maybe walked around BGC or that something youve been meaning to try but cant. I am not saying it here, it suffices already that only I know or so I think. Perhaps you really did adopted me because I really like it there from what you are showing me. How it looks like, how beautiful it is there.
You must’ve taught me pathology already, for I told you that I wanted to learn that. Perhaps, I have seen a lot if only those that you’d let me. We must have shared a lot by this time, tears, laughter, anything under the sun, really. Hahaha
For what its worth, despite everything else be the things I said will happen or not, be our paths be diverted somewhere along the road or not, I wish you a happy life. I am not sure how far in the future we are talking about here but you could be gone tomorrow, maybe next week or next month or next year.
But for now, I am sure you’re taking care of many many kids now for you told me you wanted to be in Pedia. I am sure you put smiles on their cute faces just like you did mine. Not cute though. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Hi Doc, Thank you. Hirap mag imagine ha. Di ko kasi alam lagay pag nasa ospital na e HAHAHA
🗿 @steffanao questo è il meglio che posso offrirti, la mia playlist di video motivanti è moto corta blublublu. Se la musica di Wii sports non ti aiuta io penso di dovermi rivolgere ad Astrosamanta
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
