#ohgodbears

You stand in front of your bedroom’s mirror, studying yourself carefully. Your hand glides up and down your tummy as you try to steady your breath. You squint, attempting to picture your belly much more swollen than it currently is. You know you won’t have to try imagining for long. After a multitude of different over-the-counter tests had shown: you’re pregnant. After Avdol’s long journey back to Egypt , he had returned to you. You had been sobbing, wrapping your arms around him tightly, and taking in his intense warmth as he kissed you with fiery lips. The two of you made up for lost time, making love over and over until you were satiated and exhausted, laying on top of Avdol’s chest, tracing his new scars he had with your fingers as he brushed your hair out of your face. 

Although this was definitely a fond memory of yours, you realize you weren’t exactly contraceptive-conscious in the throws of passion. Avdol had left to collect groceries at the market while you stayed home, complaining of fatigue from a sleepless night. Well, now you know why you couldn’t sleep…So he had left you to rest and collect your thoughts. Although the thought of having a child with Avdol makes you giddy, you can’t help but feel a nervous tightness in your chest. 

You’re frightened to tell him. Avdol often mentions how happy he is sharing a life with you. But what about another? You have faith that Avdol is a good enough man that he wouldn’t run screaming to the hills. But would your relationship change for the worse? That scared you. No matter how many ways you told him in your head, none of them sounded good…

You hear the sound of the front door opening quietly. You walk out of the bedroom to assist Avdol in putting away the groceries. Your husband greets you with a warm smile, two large paper bags in his arm. You can’t help but return the smile tenfold; that loving look he gives you radiates warmth and safety, despite the nerves you feel. 

“And how is my love? Is something troubling you?” Avdol asks, smile still on his face. You freeze from unloading one of the paper bags. Damn. You shake your head, gripping a small bag of apples, trying to make your face remain neutral. You simply make a noise of protest and continue to unload and put away groceries, knowing that you won’t be able to  keep this act up for long, especially with Avdol’s eyes continuing to watch you with curiosity. The last item you take out of the grocery bag is a bunch of grapes. You pause, fingering the smooth buds nervously. 

“You know,” you start, hands shaking a little, “you have to chop up grapes for children younger than six months old, or else they can choke.” Avdol nods slowly, look of puzzlement on his face. 

“I do suppose that makes sense,” he replies. But upon noticing the unsteady nature of your hands, he quickly steps towards you. He takes both of your hands into his, causing the grapes to fall, as he struggles to look into your eyes. “What’s the matter? You’re shaking. Please, look at me, darling,” Avdol pleads quietly, the warmth of his hands wrapped around your own easing the trembling. 

You gulp down the lump in your throat. It’s no use; you have to tell him. What was the alternative? Having him find out when your tummy was the size of a watermelon? Though he would honestly probably figure it out way before then.

“It…” you begin, feeling shaky in your voice again, “It appears that…we might need to learn how to chop grapes soon.”

After a pause and an absolutely unreadable expression from your beloved, you see the light of knowledge flush across his eyes. Your heart drops as his hands slowly lower from your own. Oh no…Images of Avdol’s back turned to you flash in your head at 100 miles per second, and you can’t help but feel dread. You bite your lip to keep tears from spilling out as Avdol indeed begins to turn away.

“Av-Avdol, I’m…” you stutter, the dam breaking; you’re crying and reaching out to him. Much to your surprise, Avdol swiftly shifts back to you, tears streaming down his own scarred cheeks, causing you to gasp audibly.