#ogbfconfessions

This is year I just want to focus on succeeding period. Fighting for what I deserve in life. Wether you respect me as a person or not, you will. Ima sucha indigo child & I will let this temper and anger that I have in me as my power to get where I need to get in life. Enough focusing on “myself” I need to focus on my future. I know we have need to live in the moment but sometimes sacrificing certain things for a short amount of time is ok, cause we need to be realistic and have consistent ... which will be a challenge for me cause I hate routines, I don’t do well when it’s the same thing every day. If I can do something for just 2 months I know It’ll be worth it at the end.

A place to call home.

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

Used my last vacation day today. It’s bittersweet because we never know what can happen in the future. Not to mention, I haven’t been feeling so confident with job lately. Im beyond worried about it. & having the most painful and yucky time of the month is not helping out. I really need to get on mediticions when I get my period, the level of depression I get is scary. Even days before getting it, I literally feel like the world is out to get me. I hate waking up, I hate talking to anyone, I have zero strength to do anything. I understand pmsing is normal but I truly believe something is wrong when I specifically get it. I also have put a lot of mind to this and I’ve decided to get on medication for my anxiety/depression. Buying weed and CBD is coming out to be way too expensive and I’m getting immune to it & im not really improving. It’s time to put this under control cause my daily thoughts of wanting to drop everything and just walk away is terrifying cause once that happens I literally won’t care about anything or anyone.